Wednesday, June 24, 2009

We're havin' a heat wave...

Well hallooooooooo!!! How has the week gone for all y'all? Mine was simply FAB-U-LUSS!! I had a wonderful rest of the week on my coaching course and a great beginning to this week. Life is darn good, my brothers & sisters!

First of all, a big hearty "heidi-ho!!" to the new blog readers from my Foundations of Coaching course. These are new supporters and new friends. We had an amazing time together, so the fact that they are reading my blog makes me proud and happy to have them in my life.

Sooooooo, lemme tell you about the rest of the class days. In a word...AWESOME!!! We did some amazing work. They tell you not to come to the course unless you are willing to be coached. Well, that is the truth. You learn so much about yourself ... just by asking a well-poised question! They're called "powerful questions" and when asked, the person who is sitting in the "client" chair sits back, takes in a breath and says "wow...good question!" I had a couple of those magic moments - ones that made me think deeper than I really wanted to go! That says alot about the people on the course and their amazing listening skills, and their curiousity & concern for others. It was so great to be surrounded by these kinds of people all week. I felt safe & secure, like I was a baby in a big 'ole blanket in my momma's arms. Um, not that I actually remember being in my mother's arms, but I think you catch my drift.

ANYHOO....I'm psyched because I'm back on track! I no longer feel the urge to eat everything that isn't nailed down. It's a good thing, too. I was VERY close to walking up to the Dairy Queen and ordering my very own waffle bowl sundae! Oh, I'm sure I still would've felt shame, shovelling the ice cream and toppings into my pie hole while sitting in the grungy toilet stall at Union Station. But I was ready to do it, people!!

Then I got to know a little bit about a guy in my class named, "Paul". Paul dropped 50 lbs. last year, just through portion control and by taking the focus off food. He didn't starve himself, he just controlled the amount of what he ate. Now THAT'S logical, isn't it?!? Imagine a world where planning your meals and counting your calories (or points!) doesn't exist. There would be no pressure about what went into your mouth, just the simple tasks of eating when you're hungry and eating until you're full. Seems so basic and yet...

OK, so maybe YOU already live in this world. If that's the case then you got it goin' on..seriously! Me? Not so much. MY world centres around avoiding certain foods and resisting violent urges when I see people who are eating Cinnabons. I've decided to take a page from Paul's book and lose the self-imposed pressure. I'm givin' it up now, people...say it with me....

I (insert name here) do hereby declare to me, myself and I the following:

- I will not obsess over the number of calories, fat content or carbohydrates in a peach
- I will not plan my dinner while eating my lunch
- I will not deprive myself of anything I want, including but not limited to cheese, chocolate & Jack Daniels
- I will, however, have only a taste of said "anything" and walk away feeling happy & satisfied
- I will eat only when I am hungry & not because John, Kate & 8 are breaking up
- I will eat until I am full, then step away from the plate
- I will eat slowly enough so that my brain can actually register when I am full
- I will look myself in the mirror every day and say "you ROCK!!!"

'
nuff said. Everybody say "Amen"!

G'night, poppits!
(a) yt xox

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

When it feels right...

it's right!!

I am sooooo lovin' the Foundations of Coaching course I'm taking. The people are GREAT and trust was established very quickly. It's an amazing journey of self-awareness and "delearning"! It's quite an eye opener. I feel pretty good about the skills I'm learning and the practice I'm getting. I'm also getting some positive feedback, so all is good.

One of the guys who is in the class talked about his personal experience around his own "journey to good health", which included climbing a 10,000 ft mountain in Alberta and losing 50 lbs. He said he attributed his success to just "letting go". It meant shifting his focus away from food and onto something else. Of course, I accosted him over the break and we had a good chat about our successes. It was really good for me to talk with him. It made me think about the next round of my journey.

Lately, I've been feeling in a rut...again! I know, "get over it"! Talking with "the guy" in the class was really helpful as it made me think about just chillaxin' over my approach to the journey. I've been used to the concept of "cheating" when I eat something I'm not "supposed" to eat. "The guy" said the best thing he ever did was to just stop worrying about what he can't have and have it all - with good portion control. He said the 50 lbs just "fell off". I thought that was cool. It's like he gave himself permission to enjoy the food in moderation. Neat concept!

Soooo...he got me thinking about where my approach is flawed. I think I need to take a good look at what I'm eating (i.e. content & portion size) and just enjoy! Not worry about what I put in my mouth and stay focused on the exercise. I also think I need a real partner in this journey. Someone other than The Evil One...someone to hold me accountable and who can relate to what I'm going through. Basically, someone who is in the same mindset as myself - needs AND WANTS to lose weight. Someone with roughly the same amount of weight I want to lose. I'm going to find that someone and together we will kick some fat bootay! Any volunteers?!?!

Well, it's getting late and I need my beauty rest. Tomorrow we talk about "the business of coaching". This should be cool!

Take care, poppits!
(a) yt xox

Monday, June 15, 2009

Monday's aren't so bad!

Not when it's a gorgeous, sunny day and you're lucky enough to be doing something you love. That was my day today!

I started my course at Adler and met some interesting people and did some great work. I really feel good about this career choice, so I'm getting right into the course. It's easy as the content and the instructors are great. The other thing that's great about being on course, is the fact that I don't have access to alot of food! So, I had a good food day...

... which was offset by the really bad food day I had Saturday... oie!

Remember that I was heading to Windsor for my sister Kathy's 60th bday party? Well, I did. The dinner itself, although lots of food, was restrained and healthy. Thanx to sister Karen and niece Sandra for creating healthy choices! I did, however, fall down in a BIG way, by eating a gzillion pieces of my cousin Betty's baklava. I should mention that Betty makes THE BEST baklava I've ever tasted...and I'm not the only one who believes this, for the record. I'm not making excuses for myself, I'm just sayin' that I blew it with something that was worth blowing it for. 'nuf said...

I went for a walk with my cousin Sandra and friend Joanne tonight. We walked 7 KM and did it in about 45 minutes. We were bookin' it, I have to say. Sandra & I went for a walk a couple of weeks ago and tonight made me realize she took pity on me before. Tonight, she showed no mercy and kept us at a pace worthy of Lorry! Well done to Sandra, who managed to stay ahead of both Joanne & I. It was a good way to end a day of being stationary, and a weekend of indulgence!

Well, I'm off to bed. Goodness knows I need my beauty sleep! Up early for class...yeah!!!

BTW, stepping on the scale this morning showed me dropping 1.5 lbs. from last week. It's good, but I have a feeling the baklava bulge has not caught up to me yet...sigh...

G'night & sweet dreams, poppits!
(a) yt xox

Saturday, June 13, 2009

what happened to the week?!?

Wow! I can't believe it's been almost a week since I last typed...where did it go?!?

Well, I've had a few adventures this week, including throwing my back out Monday...again! And get this. I threw it out simply by turning over in my bed...not very exciting! So, off I go to LPS Tuesday where The Evil One exchanges my workout with a session of muscle release therapy. Sounds very technical, but basically, he digs his thumbs into various muscles and stretches my body parts. The muscles "pop" just like when you're getting a massage. The only difference is you're in so much pain that you really can't enjoy the process.

Poor Werner...seriously. We reached a new level of intimacy this week. First of all, I was sweating so badly that he had to use my t-shirt to give him traction on my skin for stretching me. I ended up with "shirt burn" on my shoulder and had this big ass red mark for a couple of days. Then he went to working on my back muscles...which were somehow attached to my left butt cheek. So, imagine if you will, me laid out on my right side...Evil One standing behind me with his thumb pressed HARD (like he's diggin' to China) against my almost bare left bum cheek. Clearly, he had WAY too much information about me at that point. It was quite a stressful time for me. I was stressed over the amount of sweating I was doing (like I always am) ... over Evil One having to grip said sweaty skin ... over the excruciating pain ... over evil trainer seeing and touching my partially naked bum cheek ... over whether or not someone else was going to walk back just in time to see the scene where Werner, thumb on my partially exposed bum, is bending my leg toward my head as I'm grunting, breathing and laughing. Thankfully, no one else had to endure the scene, but can you imagine walking into that vision?!? Yikes! Years of therapy wouldn't be able to wipe that from memory.

After all the stress, my back and neck felt ALOT better. When Evil One asked me how I felt, I replied "Strangely, like I need a cigarette." Fortunately, he saw the humour and laughed.

The rest of the week was filled with lots of lunches, dinners and coffees to catch up with good friends. Except for some minor binging with Mary Thursday night, eating was well in control. I've decided to lighten up about "cheating" and to figure out what I'm going to be able to sustain. I settled on the Caveman Diet, adding fruit (limited to 2/day) and goat milk stuff (limited to 1/day) into the mix. I'm hoping that will be better than tight restriction and a cheat day.

Well, I'm off to Windsor to celebrate the surprise 60th birthday of my sister, Kathy. We think she knows about it. It's not very easy to keep things a surprise in this family.

Shout out to Kim Baker. She's one of the trainers Evil One told us about. I met her at a Landmark event Tuesday night. I didn't realize she was reading my blog. It freaked me out initially, not sure why, but I'm over it...welcome Kim!!

OK poppits. Off for my long drive...oie!!
TTFN!
(a) yt xox

Monday, June 8, 2009

It's payback time!

Well, I survived another cheat day yesterday, although "survived" is hardly the correct word. More like, "embraced" another cheat day and am "surviving" the aftermath of it...if ya know what I mean. Yes, THAT'S back in my life...all day...stomach grumbling like a volcano ready to erupt...then the volcanic eruptions, if ya know what I mean.

I know, I know...eeeyyyyuuu..but I give you this description more to teach a lesson than to gross you out. Grossing you out is just a side benefit...tee hee....

So, no doubt you're wondering what I actually had for my cheat day. Here goes...
- started with an omelette in which goat cheese mozzarella was present
- for my drink, TWO Tassimo, French Vanilla lattes...'cuz one just wouldn't be enough...

Then I headed to Burlington for my niece, Keri's, baby shower where I indulged in....
- Karen's potato salad (well worth the indulgence!!)
- a giant, all beef hot dog PLUS a hamburger (no buns, though, celebrate that success!)
- more goat cheese mozzarella since it was in a salad I made
- a BIG piece of key lime pie...made with love, by my niece Lisa.

I got home around 5:30 feeling so full I could barely move. Fortunately, I didn't eat anything for the rest of the day, so all caloric intake was completed by about 3:30. Not that that really means anything because, even if I wanted to shove something into my pie hole, I'm sure my gag reflex would've reacted violently. That's how bad it was. Now I understand why gluttony is one of the deadly sins.

And today I'm paying for it...

OK, so I really need to find a happy medium here...I know you've all heard that before but seriously...it's gotta work out. Tomorrow I meet with The Evil One and I'm gonna talk to him about an alternative plan. I can't binge, and yet I don't want to have to sacrifice all the time...sigh...

Don't 'cha love how I'm changin' my tune now?!? Whatever happened to...

"really, what's the big deal? It's just food" and

"I'm not really sacrificing that much" ... and
"It will be worth the effort"..

I'm a filthy liar, that's what happened!!!

OK, so perhaps I'm getting a tad carried away. I think it's the sugar crash I've been experiencing all day. BTW, is it normal for your toes to twitch after consuming large volumes of sugar?!? Enough drama....you're welcome!

So, I got a wonderful email from my friend, Tammy. If you recall, Tammy is one of the FAB women I met when I was in Cuba. Tammy, apparently, reads my blog (thanx Tammy!) and is on her own personal weight loss journey as well. She's lost ALOT of weight to date, and is feeling "stalled" like myself. I think it's natural for us to feel these psychological road blocks to achieving our goals, especially because we've been working at it for so long. The question is...for how long do we wait before we can get refocused?!? and what do we need to do to get our mojo back?

I know it's different for everyone, but man! I'm not feeling very patient right now. So, what do I have to do to try and pull myself back on track? I guess I can start by looking at the positive stuff that is surrounding me. For example....

- I saw my sister, Kathy, yesterday who has lost 60 lbs. ... AMAZING work. She still eats everything and doesn't exercise, her secret is portion control.
- My sister, Karen, is back on track going to her swimming classes again. Her energy level is up again.
- My brother John, is down more than 20 lbs. and only 16 lbs. from his goal weight.
- even with lots of change and chaos in her life, Tammy managed to email me with some amazing words of encouragement - how selfless is that!

I spoke to my brother John last night and I am really looking forward to my trip to Phoenix at the end of the month. He's organizing some hikes for us and will be getting me a pass to his gym, so I can work out. Heck! He even offered to take me into the gym with him when he goes at 5:00 in the morning - isn't he thoughtful?!? I love that he's really focused and disciplined on eating better. I know that will motivate me to eat well when I'm out there, too.

People, we all go through struggles, don't we? I guess the key, for me, is to remember I don't have to go through them alone...

Feeling slightly better because I'm ignorning Mt. Vesuvius in my belly....
(a) yt xox

Saturday, June 6, 2009

True confessions of a chubaholic....

It's time for me to fess up. I stepped on the scale this morning and weighed 4.5 lbs more than I did when I weighed myself Monday....OMG!! "What the HELL happened?!?", I asked myself while looking in the mirror.

Now, here's the dilemma....do I actually acknowledge what I've done wrong or play dumb? I'm coming clean to the few of you who actually read this blog. Following are the WRONG things I've been doing...

- eating outside my 9 hour window....instead of waiting until my usual 10:30 or 11:30 (heck, I can't even remember when my original window started!), I've been eating earlier in the day and later in the evening.

- eating the wrong foods...like my Tassimo lattes in the morning...a little taste of peanut butter...honey coated cashews...

- eating heavy dinners late at night....well, later than I should be. Instead of eating a salad with protein for dinner, I've been eating lots of meat and little veggies. As a matter of fact, my whole veggie intake has decreased significantly.

I guess this is what happens when you lose sight. In thinking about the reasons why the decline, I think it's because of the emotional roller coaster I've been riding lately. You all remember the two weeks of physical "issues" and how I didn't feel like going out. Well, combine that with my "just waiting" mode to get my coaching off the ground and you've got a big, fat emotional me. Plus, not seeing Bill anymore has hit me harder than I allowed myself to admit.

I'm sure you're all asking the question..."So, yt, waddaya gonna do about it?!?"

OK, let's follow my own lofty suggestion and pick simple, goals to get me back on track....
1) back to my 9 hour window
2) eat more veggies
3) stick to the modified Caveman Diet

I'm still going to have my "cheat day", but what I will have as a treat is...Karen's FAB potato salad and my Goat cheese yogurt. That's it for the cheating. Then it's back on track.

OK people...thanx for listening and reading. I appreciate your support and need it now more than ever. Wish me luck!!!
(a) yt xox

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Oh my achin' EVERYTHING!!

Hi everyone!
Typin' at 'cha LIVE from Laylor Performance Systems where men are grunters and women sweat like piggies....or at least THIS woman. I have now discovered muscles I didn't know existed before. How do I know the exist? Because they hurt like you wouldn't believe...oie!! For those of you not into my whining, just page down...for those who can tolerate it, thank you. The following parts of my body have some type of ache - big or small:
- my bum (quelle suprise!)
- my legs (top, bottom, middle...you name it)
- my feet (bottom, ankles, the tops that are all veiny and gross)
- my fingers & hands & wrists
- my arms & shoulders
- my earlobes (I think my earrings are too heavy)
- my forehead ... yes, even my forehead friggin' hurts!

Needless to say, the last 2 workouts I had were quite effective. Yesterday was a guided workout with The Evil One, which is probably why my fingernails even hurt. Today, I was back for more self-inflicted torture pulling the sled. All I can say is "thank God" I'm done at LPS for the week.

OK...whining completed....

So, I've been back in the "networking" game and having a good time with old acquaintances. I met a few people from my last job at CIBC, so it was good to catch up on all the dirt. While I'm all about moving on, I can certainly appreciate the value of a good gossip fest! It seems things have not changed at all with management or the organization. Again, I'm reminded of how lucky I am to have moved on.

Eating has been pretty good, although I'm still struggling with my sugar cravings. It seems to be all about ice cream and cake for my cravings these days. Which doesn't bode well when I'm waiting for the GO Train at Union Station where there is a Dairy Queen that advertises ice cream cakes...and these really yummy looking ice cream waffle sundaes...not to mention my all-time favourite Peanut Buster Parfait...oh, and the Buster Bar...sigh...do you FEEL for me, people?!? On a positive note, I do not have urges to do violent things to people eating DQ treats. I do, however, need to control the Pavlovian drooling that the pictures seem to incite in me. Hmmm...maybe I should stand in front of Laura Secords instead....NOT!!!

Well, it's time to get up and get the blood circulating again. It's good to know it can still circulate through all the pain....

Until next blog...good eating and good laughs!
(a) yt xox

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Chillax, sister!!

Happy Hump Day all y'all!
Greetings from a sunny & warm Mississauga. It's nice to see the sunshine again. Although, as a typical Canadian, I'm sure I'll find something about the weather to complain! Isn't that our way?

I did not venture into the city yesterday. Instead, I met my friend Darren for lunch, did a little errand running/shopping then met my friend Michele for dinner. It was a good day.

I had really good conversations with both folks. Although both quite different, each were equally intense. With Darren, we talked about his business and the stresses he has in setting himself up for more success. With Michele, it was a discussion about how our limited beliefs hold us back. At the end of the day (and as I write now), I'm thinking ... "Lighten up, sister!" Sheesh! I was so impassioned with both of them. Poor folks! With Darren, I thought he was going to push me off my chair at one point! Michele, thankfully, was far more together about it. I didn't get a sense she wanted to push me off my chair, but I did see a few furrowed brows throughout the discussion. Anyway, I have no idea why I was so freaked, but I do know I need to follow my physical lead and lighten up!!

I'm back to feeling frustrated with how slow things seem to be moving for me, on the career front. I guess I need to give my head a shake and continue to trust my "leap of faith". For those of you who don't know, my leap of faith happens when I jump off an imaginary cliff giving up control of my life. I don't know where or when I'll reach the bottom, but I know I'll get there safely. This "giving up control" seems to be the only time in my life when things work out well for me. Well, sometimes, on my way down to the ground, I bump myself up against the rocks...that's when I try to take control back. Soooooo, it would appear I'm bumping up against some rocks now. I guess I just need to LET IT GO and trust it will work out....work, the weight, everything!

OK, off my soap box and no, not off my rocker (for those of you thinking it!). Hopefully you understand my metaphor. If not, call or email me and I'll be happy to let you buy me lunch to discuss...tee hee....!!

I'm off to the city this morning, meeting Thom for lunch then a workout with The Evil One. Nothing like a workout with an evil-bastard-trainer to help relinquish control of your life!

Thanx for listening!!
(a) yt xox

Monday, June 1, 2009

If only I could turn my neck...

Hi everyone - Happy Monday!
Well, today started with a big headache (actually, the headache started last night and carried through until this morning). I missed AFOOFA unfortunately, since I needed to get some sleep. I woke up about 10:30 feeling much better, then headed into the city for a workout with the sled. A good workout but I'm really feeling alot of pain and tension in my shoulders and neck. Where's the massage therapist when you need him now?!?

The weekend was busy, hanging out with Dianne & Lorry for a sister's weekend! Dianne had us over for a nice bday dinner Saturday night (she cooked a TON of veggies!). Then we went to Elora on Sunday and man! was it cold! Although it was sunny, there was a bitter wind that kept us very cold. It didn't help that Dianne and I wore open-toed sandals. There's a way to never get warm! Also, there was no electricity in the city! The whole city (or is it a village) and a bit of the surrounding area lost power around 1:30-ish. It was pretty weird. Of course, that didn't stop us from buying our jewels and having lunch!

It was kinda quiet when I was working out. There was just Roland, another guy I see all the time. He's a quiet guy, but says things that are a bit ... um ... off ... sometimes! Anyway, when I saw Roland Friday, he asked me to guess how old he was. I really wanted to guess 65, but I was feeling kind and said "61". Roland said .. "61...hmmm..." When I asked him how old he was he said "57"...DOH!!! I felt so badly! Anyway, I realized there were no hard feelings when I saw him today and he was quite witty and friendly, and he didn't pick up a 30 lb. barbell and smack me upside the head. That's always a good sign.

I realized at Dianne's I have another "Cheat day" coming up. It happens to occur the same day as niece Keri's baby shower. I'm excited as I will be able to have my sister, Karen's FAMOUS & AWESOME potato salad. I'm really looking forward to that! I also bought some goat's milk yogurt & granola again, in anticipation of Sunday. Should be good!!

BTW, in weighing myself today I'm down another 3 lbs., so that leaves me with 18 lbs to lose before the end of July. I've got the name of a gym that trains in the same technique as LPS in Scottsdale, so I'm gonna see about working out when I'm there. That should keep me on track and focused.

Here's me signing off ... with visions of potato salad, yogurt & granola dancing in my head!!

Take care!
(a) yt xox