No, I really mean it this time. I had a HORRIBLE food craving day, which we all know is not unusual. What IS unusual is the ensuing behaviour from said cravings. Instead of avoiding places that inspire the cravings...um... like EVERYWHERE, I went head long into the dens of evil. It was like I cut myself a 1000 times, everywhere on my body, then started to wade into a big pool of lemon juice....
First, I go into the pool up to my knees....that's when I walked through Loblaws yesterday...past the PC chocolate bars with yummy things inside like coconut or almonds or toffee or caramel or all of the above...right up to the freezer filled to the brim with Candy Cane fudge crackle ice cream, which BTW is my absolute favourite ice cream of the season....can you feel the burn of the lemon juice with me??
And the burn from the lemon juice stops...and it's a new day...
Then I decide to continue my journey into the lemon juice, up to my hips...which would be when I took a tour of the Laura Secord at Union Station and saw (are you ready for this?!?) chocolate filled candy canes! How heavenly is that?!? Why, that is better than Candy Cane ice cream because I could eat an entire bag of 15 chocolate filled candy canes and NEVER freeze my mouth!! BTW, remember "The Rationalizer"? Well, that voice was telling me that the chocolate filled candy canes would be a good source of energy for when I'm climbing the Inca Trail and that I should buy some now and stock up for the trip...which is in May...oie!
So, the burn of the lemon juice has now subsided and, my masochistic self decides to just submerge entirely...that would be when I'm waiting for my GO Train and sitting directly across from the Dairy Queen...oh yeah...I'm staring at posters of the three DQ waffle sundaes...and the poster of the Peanut Buster Parfait (my favourite)...and watching all the happy people as they eat their ice cream cones and waffle sundaes and blizzards...I just sat there, watching ... craving ... feeling the burn of the lemon juice.
I'm not exactly sure why, but I felt really compelled to write about this. I'm quite proud of myself for not acting on the cravings, but I am very worried about how they keep rearing their ugly heads. I need to find a way to shut down the masochist so I stop putting myself into situations that tempt me. This continues to be my challenge.
So, once again, I need to reinforce the good. For example and keep focused on how far I've come. Can I just say how happy I will be when I no loner have to worry about worrying about this stuff?!?
Well, time to go to sleep. I'm very glad I got that off my chest. Here's me movin' on....
Have a great weekend, poppits!
(a) yt xox
Friday, November 27, 2009
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Always look on the bright side of life
If you're a Monty Python fan, you're now whistling the rest of the little ditty that comes at the end of The Life of Brian...what a fun movie that is!
Once again, I have fallen behind in my commitment to blog twice/week. To be truthful, I just couldn't bring myself around to doing it. I haven't been in the best head-space last week, so I felt I would not be able to be the Ambassador of Positivity I've tried to be. But then I thought, "So what's the big deal?!?" After all, not everyone can be positive all the time, right? I know people count on me for their positive fix - heck! I count on myself - but on the rare occasion, it's just too damn hard for me to feel the positivity! That's what I was experiencing last week. It affected many aspects of my life:
- I felt doubt & worry about my Leap of Faith and whether or not this career path was going to work out for me.
- my eating habits...I actually ate those dreaded grains, poppits!
- how much I exercised...still more than the week before, but not as much as I would've liked to have exercised
- and, once again, my condo was a disaster!
I felt at my lowest Sunday afternoon and evening, which is when I inhaled ALOT of bad food. So, I decided that I would do something I hadn't done in a long time. I decided I could allow myself to wallow in self-pity for the duration of Sunday. I used to do this ... feel sorry for myself for 24 hours then move on! It worked and I could see a change. I'm not 100% back to my normal self, but I feel better every time I speak with someone I haven't seen in a while. I love to speak of my journey and remind myself of all the great "irons in the fire" I have going on.
I've got lots to be grateful for...Good things like....
- I am back on track for my eating and exercising. BTW, I've done another two hikes since my last blog. One was on my own and, after 2 1/2 hours, I realized I was lost in the forest! Fortunately, Josephine & Jackie (mom & daughter angels!) took pity on me and drove me to my car...oie!
- I'm down 62 lbs so far and more than 1/2 way to my optimal weight! That deserves a big !!!!!!!!!!!!! WAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- The Christmas holidays are just around the corner and I'm BEYOND the valley of excited about them! BTW, the condo is now presentable and ready for Christmas decorations!
On the eating side, it's been a real struggle for me. It seems I'm craving things like mad. I almost French-kissed a guy because he was eating beef and I could smell it on his breath. This is what I've become.
We recently had a meeting of ACPI, this association I belong to. It was held at a Golden Griddle restaurant. Do you think I could get the image of pancakes out of my head?!? NO! We're talking WEEKS of pancake cravings! The good news is I ate a Greek salad when I was there (sans feta cheese). However, it came with a piece of garlic toast. Before I even realized what I was doing, half of the toast was in my mouth! I couldn't believe it! THEN, one of the guys at my table ordered a piece of banana cream pie. Now, banana cream pie isn't even one of my pies of choice, but I had a visual flash in my head where I saw myself leaping across the table, grabbing the pie and shoving it ALL into my mouth. Oh great. Now I have a craving for pie..sigh...
Well, undaunted I press on in the vain pursuit of looking good naked. I hope all of you are feeling good about yourselves and feeling positive. If not, call me!!
Until Sunday, peace and positivity my brothers & sisters!!
(a) yt xox
Once again, I have fallen behind in my commitment to blog twice/week. To be truthful, I just couldn't bring myself around to doing it. I haven't been in the best head-space last week, so I felt I would not be able to be the Ambassador of Positivity I've tried to be. But then I thought, "So what's the big deal?!?" After all, not everyone can be positive all the time, right? I know people count on me for their positive fix - heck! I count on myself - but on the rare occasion, it's just too damn hard for me to feel the positivity! That's what I was experiencing last week. It affected many aspects of my life:
- I felt doubt & worry about my Leap of Faith and whether or not this career path was going to work out for me.
- my eating habits...I actually ate those dreaded grains, poppits!
- how much I exercised...still more than the week before, but not as much as I would've liked to have exercised
- and, once again, my condo was a disaster!
I felt at my lowest Sunday afternoon and evening, which is when I inhaled ALOT of bad food. So, I decided that I would do something I hadn't done in a long time. I decided I could allow myself to wallow in self-pity for the duration of Sunday. I used to do this ... feel sorry for myself for 24 hours then move on! It worked and I could see a change. I'm not 100% back to my normal self, but I feel better every time I speak with someone I haven't seen in a while. I love to speak of my journey and remind myself of all the great "irons in the fire" I have going on.
I've got lots to be grateful for...Good things like....
- I am back on track for my eating and exercising. BTW, I've done another two hikes since my last blog. One was on my own and, after 2 1/2 hours, I realized I was lost in the forest! Fortunately, Josephine & Jackie (mom & daughter angels!) took pity on me and drove me to my car...oie!
- I'm down 62 lbs so far and more than 1/2 way to my optimal weight! That deserves a big !!!!!!!!!!!!! WAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- The Christmas holidays are just around the corner and I'm BEYOND the valley of excited about them! BTW, the condo is now presentable and ready for Christmas decorations!
On the eating side, it's been a real struggle for me. It seems I'm craving things like mad. I almost French-kissed a guy because he was eating beef and I could smell it on his breath. This is what I've become.
We recently had a meeting of ACPI, this association I belong to. It was held at a Golden Griddle restaurant. Do you think I could get the image of pancakes out of my head?!? NO! We're talking WEEKS of pancake cravings! The good news is I ate a Greek salad when I was there (sans feta cheese). However, it came with a piece of garlic toast. Before I even realized what I was doing, half of the toast was in my mouth! I couldn't believe it! THEN, one of the guys at my table ordered a piece of banana cream pie. Now, banana cream pie isn't even one of my pies of choice, but I had a visual flash in my head where I saw myself leaping across the table, grabbing the pie and shoving it ALL into my mouth. Oh great. Now I have a craving for pie..sigh...
Well, undaunted I press on in the vain pursuit of looking good naked. I hope all of you are feeling good about yourselves and feeling positive. If not, call me!!
Until Sunday, peace and positivity my brothers & sisters!!
(a) yt xox
Sunday, November 15, 2009
What a week!
Greetings & salutations, dudes & babes!
Well, what a whirlwind of a few days, let me tell you! I'm sitting in front of my TV, having finished watching the 3rd movie for the night...ah, relaxation! I must confess that it was well-deserved. You see, I've had a fairly busy end of the week, don't 'cha know...
Well, Thursday was the Inspire Your Career Day and it went very well. We exceeded the number of people in attendance (101 in total!) and my round table went quite well. I have heard great feedback from people about both things, so I'm a happy camper! It was so amazing to hear all the folks who's lives we touched. I mean, isn't that what it's all about?!?
After the event, I had another big deadline for my practicum. And, being the true Myers-Briggs "P", I waited until the last minute to meet it. Well, actually, it's due tomorrow, but I submitted it all Friday afternoon, so it wasn't THAT last minute, I suppose!! It felt good to finish it. I will admit, though, that I didn't really like the last minute stress. Sooooo...I spent the latter part of Friday afternon and evening catching up on some journaling and paper work I'd fallen behind in. It felt good. It brought me back to my high school and university days when I'd wait until the last minute to do my assignments. You'd think I'd learn, right?!? Oh well. It's all good!
Today I went for a hike with some of the Inca Chicks. It was GREAT! The trail we chose was in Oakville. It has an inner loop that runs 5KM and the outer loop is 10KM. We did the 5KM this week and will do 10KM next weekend. It had a couple of steep inclines and even some stairs! I was glad to say that I did it, but was out of breath after a few of the inclines. We were keeping a pretty good pace, too, and I managed to keep up so I was happy with that. Two of the women were on the Mt. Kilimanjaro hike, so they had some great advice for us. I was really happy I went out today. We will continue this through the winter months, which doesn't REALLY excite me, but I can see the value in doing it...oie! I'm going to try and get back again to the trail so I can start building my lung capacity. I was sure glad to be rid of the weight I was carrying!
I've been struggling with the "Leap and the net will appear". I'm seeing some big output of money coming up with Christmas and my faith is getting a little shaky. I don't know if it's a time-of-the-month thing or perhaps Michelle, my inner critic is acting up. Intellectually, I know I've got some really good things in the pipeline that will pan out eventually. However, the challenge for me is that I'm having a tough time FEELING that I will be ok...ya know?!? I know, if I stick to doing what is in my heart, that the money will come. It's just that I think it would be nice to start depositing money into my bank account for a change...sigh...
So, tomorrow is another day, full of opportunities. I have two coaching sessions and my practicum call so that should put me into a better head space. Eventually, that familiar feeling will come back to me ... the feeling of the wind on my face as I journey downwards on my leap of faith ... I just need to step off the ledge again.
I hope that you are still free-falling to the ground, poppits! In the meantime, undaunted we press on!!
(a) yt xox
Well, what a whirlwind of a few days, let me tell you! I'm sitting in front of my TV, having finished watching the 3rd movie for the night...ah, relaxation! I must confess that it was well-deserved. You see, I've had a fairly busy end of the week, don't 'cha know...
Well, Thursday was the Inspire Your Career Day and it went very well. We exceeded the number of people in attendance (101 in total!) and my round table went quite well. I have heard great feedback from people about both things, so I'm a happy camper! It was so amazing to hear all the folks who's lives we touched. I mean, isn't that what it's all about?!?
After the event, I had another big deadline for my practicum. And, being the true Myers-Briggs "P", I waited until the last minute to meet it. Well, actually, it's due tomorrow, but I submitted it all Friday afternoon, so it wasn't THAT last minute, I suppose!! It felt good to finish it. I will admit, though, that I didn't really like the last minute stress. Sooooo...I spent the latter part of Friday afternon and evening catching up on some journaling and paper work I'd fallen behind in. It felt good. It brought me back to my high school and university days when I'd wait until the last minute to do my assignments. You'd think I'd learn, right?!? Oh well. It's all good!
Today I went for a hike with some of the Inca Chicks. It was GREAT! The trail we chose was in Oakville. It has an inner loop that runs 5KM and the outer loop is 10KM. We did the 5KM this week and will do 10KM next weekend. It had a couple of steep inclines and even some stairs! I was glad to say that I did it, but was out of breath after a few of the inclines. We were keeping a pretty good pace, too, and I managed to keep up so I was happy with that. Two of the women were on the Mt. Kilimanjaro hike, so they had some great advice for us. I was really happy I went out today. We will continue this through the winter months, which doesn't REALLY excite me, but I can see the value in doing it...oie! I'm going to try and get back again to the trail so I can start building my lung capacity. I was sure glad to be rid of the weight I was carrying!
I've been struggling with the "Leap and the net will appear". I'm seeing some big output of money coming up with Christmas and my faith is getting a little shaky. I don't know if it's a time-of-the-month thing or perhaps Michelle, my inner critic is acting up. Intellectually, I know I've got some really good things in the pipeline that will pan out eventually. However, the challenge for me is that I'm having a tough time FEELING that I will be ok...ya know?!? I know, if I stick to doing what is in my heart, that the money will come. It's just that I think it would be nice to start depositing money into my bank account for a change...sigh...
So, tomorrow is another day, full of opportunities. I have two coaching sessions and my practicum call so that should put me into a better head space. Eventually, that familiar feeling will come back to me ... the feeling of the wind on my face as I journey downwards on my leap of faith ... I just need to step off the ledge again.
I hope that you are still free-falling to the ground, poppits! In the meantime, undaunted we press on!!
(a) yt xox
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
where did the week go?!?
Sorry, poppits! I can't believe a week has gone by since last I typed. How interesting that I remember to blog on Remembrance Day....hmmm...
My week has been quite busy, well busy for me anyway! As you know, I've been the lead on planning a community event with one of the coaching associations I belong to. It's been a great experience, but I find myself running around with many of the last minute, ankle-biter details. The event is designed to help folks in career transition with whatever help they want. We'll have about 20 coaches there to help with resumes, interviewing & networking, building resilience, and a round table created by moi! I'm very excited about it. It's been a great experience thinking through and creating an actual working session. My hope is that it will be a success (i.e. people will really feel like the format has helped them) and I can blow it out into a workshop. Let's face it, the more people that can benefit, the better! BTW, if you're interested in attending, here are the deats:
Where: Metro Toronto Convention Centre, North Building, Room 101 (Press Conference Room)
When: Nov. 12th 8:30-1:00; Registration is from 7:30 - 8:30
Cost: $20
On the weight loss front, I'm rockin' and rollin' people! As of my Monday morning weigh in, I was down 5 lbs. from last week...16 lbs. from Oct. 1st and 59 lbs in total!!
That calls for a big ...
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Don't 'cha think?!?
Admittedly, I've been doing a full court press on the eating plan, with the intention of achieving my optimal weight fast to help improve my chances of kicking the Inca Trail butt. However, I must admit that I've been concerned about the sustainability of an "ass-tasting shake and chicken/veggie" diet. I'm really missing my beef, to be truthful. Then I had this "aha moment"....what makes me think this isn't the way it can be forever?!? OK people, hear me out....
Maybe my new regime is a protein shake 2x/day with a meal of protein (not just chicken) and veggies..add some fruit & I'm good to go! Sure, I can have cheat meals or treats every once in a while, but what's wrong with this plan?!? I offset the vitamin loss with supplements, so that's good. I keep the discipline I require to keep it off..more good. I maintain my exercise regime so I can climb Mt. Kilimanjaro in 2014...good again!
It's really my mindset that has to (or had to) change. I kept thinking that I needed to go back to a "normal" eating plan. Well, what is "normal", anyway?!? And is my "normal" good for someone else? I'm guessing my friends Aubrey & Duane would say "ick, no way!!" at the thought of my food focus. At the end of the day, when I am in maintenance of my optimal weight mode, it will be because of MANY changes I've made to patterns and beliefs. I WILL be successful, dammit. There's no turning back now and, quite frankly, I'm diggin' this better, healthier me. I refuse to go back to the old patterns of ....
... eating whenever I feel like it...now I try to eat when I'm hungry
... considering a walk from my couch to my kitchen as exercise ... now, exercise isn't considered to be exercise unless I'm sweating and swearing profusely
... listening to The Rationalizer tell me that biting my ice cream exerts more calories than licking it, therefore, eat more ice cream ... now I can tell The Rationalizer to "bite this"!!
... thinking I'm too fat to ride a bike, or do the treadmill, or to look smokin' hot wearing anything ... now? well I know that's just Michelle, my inner critic, acting up and I can tell her to "get lost"!
This blog has really helped me to identify and work through so many of my bad and good patterns and thoughts. It's amazing what you'll discover once you look into your head!
Thanx for taking this journey with me, poppits!
What's to look forward for the balance of the week? Well, the event is tomorrow and I've got some catching up to do with my Adler practicum. A digitally remastered showing of Gone With the Wind Saturday and a hike with some of the Inca Trail chicks Sunday. What a great week I'll have...lucky me!
I will sign off with recognition and thanx for the efforts of the veterans to whom we owe our freedom. I couldn't write this blog without them!
Cheers!
(a) yt xox
My week has been quite busy, well busy for me anyway! As you know, I've been the lead on planning a community event with one of the coaching associations I belong to. It's been a great experience, but I find myself running around with many of the last minute, ankle-biter details. The event is designed to help folks in career transition with whatever help they want. We'll have about 20 coaches there to help with resumes, interviewing & networking, building resilience, and a round table created by moi! I'm very excited about it. It's been a great experience thinking through and creating an actual working session. My hope is that it will be a success (i.e. people will really feel like the format has helped them) and I can blow it out into a workshop. Let's face it, the more people that can benefit, the better! BTW, if you're interested in attending, here are the deats:
Where: Metro Toronto Convention Centre, North Building, Room 101 (Press Conference Room)
When: Nov. 12th 8:30-1:00; Registration is from 7:30 - 8:30
Cost: $20
On the weight loss front, I'm rockin' and rollin' people! As of my Monday morning weigh in, I was down 5 lbs. from last week...16 lbs. from Oct. 1st and 59 lbs in total!!
That calls for a big ...
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Don't 'cha think?!?
Admittedly, I've been doing a full court press on the eating plan, with the intention of achieving my optimal weight fast to help improve my chances of kicking the Inca Trail butt. However, I must admit that I've been concerned about the sustainability of an "ass-tasting shake and chicken/veggie" diet. I'm really missing my beef, to be truthful. Then I had this "aha moment"....what makes me think this isn't the way it can be forever?!? OK people, hear me out....
Maybe my new regime is a protein shake 2x/day with a meal of protein (not just chicken) and veggies..add some fruit & I'm good to go! Sure, I can have cheat meals or treats every once in a while, but what's wrong with this plan?!? I offset the vitamin loss with supplements, so that's good. I keep the discipline I require to keep it off..more good. I maintain my exercise regime so I can climb Mt. Kilimanjaro in 2014...good again!
It's really my mindset that has to (or had to) change. I kept thinking that I needed to go back to a "normal" eating plan. Well, what is "normal", anyway?!? And is my "normal" good for someone else? I'm guessing my friends Aubrey & Duane would say "ick, no way!!" at the thought of my food focus. At the end of the day, when I am in maintenance of my optimal weight mode, it will be because of MANY changes I've made to patterns and beliefs. I WILL be successful, dammit. There's no turning back now and, quite frankly, I'm diggin' this better, healthier me. I refuse to go back to the old patterns of ....
... eating whenever I feel like it...now I try to eat when I'm hungry
... considering a walk from my couch to my kitchen as exercise ... now, exercise isn't considered to be exercise unless I'm sweating and swearing profusely
... listening to The Rationalizer tell me that biting my ice cream exerts more calories than licking it, therefore, eat more ice cream ... now I can tell The Rationalizer to "bite this"!!
... thinking I'm too fat to ride a bike, or do the treadmill, or to look smokin' hot wearing anything ... now? well I know that's just Michelle, my inner critic, acting up and I can tell her to "get lost"!
This blog has really helped me to identify and work through so many of my bad and good patterns and thoughts. It's amazing what you'll discover once you look into your head!
Thanx for taking this journey with me, poppits!
What's to look forward for the balance of the week? Well, the event is tomorrow and I've got some catching up to do with my Adler practicum. A digitally remastered showing of Gone With the Wind Saturday and a hike with some of the Inca Trail chicks Sunday. What a great week I'll have...lucky me!
I will sign off with recognition and thanx for the efforts of the veterans to whom we owe our freedom. I couldn't write this blog without them!
Cheers!
(a) yt xox
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Things that make me go "hmmmm"...
Greetings & salutations on this 4th day of November. Happy Birthday to dear friend, Brian!!
Today I had a coaching session with a wonderful client. At the end of our conversation, we started to discuss what a "bad person" looks like. It got me thinking about myself and the whole "Ambassador of Positivity" thing. Overall, I think I'm a pretty decent person, with always the best of intentions, especially now that I'm away from the corporate world and the influence of "she-who-must-not-be-named". However, I got to thinking about times when I wasn't always at my best, most positive self.
It's time for me to come clean and tell you when I have broken the Ten Commandments of Positivity. Forgive me poppits, for I have cursed...
1) You shall have no other bargains before me - I don't know about you, but when I see a sale on something and it's the last item, I can get pretty ugly. Embarrassing as it is to admit, I've actually elbowed a woman away from a pair of gloves I wanted in Costco. I know, it's bad, but I get all caught up in the can't-pass-up-a-deal thing and lose it.
2) You shall not make a carved image of anything that is carbs or dairy, no matter of what it is made - Admittedly, I've thought so much about carbs and dairy (as you well know) that I've tried to imagine them in the form of carrots or brussel sprouts. Trust me, it is neither positive nor pleasant when the realization that a "carrot is just a carrot" sets in.
3) You shall not take the name of the Lord in vain ... uh, yeah...hmmmm...traffic, people in the "8 items or less" line with more than 8 items, malls at Christmas, hang nail...get the picture?!?
4) Remember the treadmill, to keep it active - there are days when I just don't want to workout and let's face it, I'm just not nice about it. Can you say "big, fat whiner", boys & girls?!?
5) Honour your protein and your veggies - Well, 'nuf said on this one since you've lived through my not-so-positive blogs when I don't honour the diet....or I'm honouring the diet and hating every moment of it!
6) You shall not murder even if the person is eating Dairy Queen - OK, so I haven't ACTUALLY committed murder, but there are many times when I've fantasized about causing death. Remember the time I wanted to push the woman onto the GO Train platform for eating a gooey, chocolatey, ice cream thingy?!?
7) You shall not cheat on your fat intake - ah, I remember the day when I was told I couldn't eat sweet potato fries...shameful, really ...
8) You shall not steal, borrow or buy your way onto the red carpet at the Film Festival - Unfortunately, there are many security guards who have blushed at my unladylike behaviour and/or my creative use of profanity...sigh...
9) You shall not bear false witness against your food diary - inevitably the scale reveals all and when that happens, it ain't pretty or positive...case in point when I wanted to staple The Evil One's lips shut when he said my weight out loud.
10) You shall not covet your neighbour's chocolate cake...or your sister's caramel apple pie ... or your brother's Stone Cold Creamery Sundae...or your friend's Apple Fritter - puh-lease! Covet schmovet, I've been known to lay BIG TIME guilt trips on people for eating this food in front of me. I've also threatened bodily harm, which does NOT fall into optimal "Ambassador of Positivity" behaviour.
OK, so clearly I have alot of work to do to fulfill the Ambassador of Positivity obligations. BUT, I'm willing to cut myself some slack because, although I WANT to take down the Cinnabon eater, I have yet to do it. To me, that's the difference between good & evil, sane vs. insane, on the edge or over the edge.
G'night poppits...and behave!!!
(a) yt xox
Today I had a coaching session with a wonderful client. At the end of our conversation, we started to discuss what a "bad person" looks like. It got me thinking about myself and the whole "Ambassador of Positivity" thing. Overall, I think I'm a pretty decent person, with always the best of intentions, especially now that I'm away from the corporate world and the influence of "she-who-must-not-be-named". However, I got to thinking about times when I wasn't always at my best, most positive self.
It's time for me to come clean and tell you when I have broken the Ten Commandments of Positivity. Forgive me poppits, for I have cursed...
1) You shall have no other bargains before me - I don't know about you, but when I see a sale on something and it's the last item, I can get pretty ugly. Embarrassing as it is to admit, I've actually elbowed a woman away from a pair of gloves I wanted in Costco. I know, it's bad, but I get all caught up in the can't-pass-up-a-deal thing and lose it.
2) You shall not make a carved image of anything that is carbs or dairy, no matter of what it is made - Admittedly, I've thought so much about carbs and dairy (as you well know) that I've tried to imagine them in the form of carrots or brussel sprouts. Trust me, it is neither positive nor pleasant when the realization that a "carrot is just a carrot" sets in.
3) You shall not take the name of the Lord in vain ... uh, yeah...hmmmm...traffic, people in the "8 items or less" line with more than 8 items, malls at Christmas, hang nail...get the picture?!?
4) Remember the treadmill, to keep it active - there are days when I just don't want to workout and let's face it, I'm just not nice about it. Can you say "big, fat whiner", boys & girls?!?
5) Honour your protein and your veggies - Well, 'nuf said on this one since you've lived through my not-so-positive blogs when I don't honour the diet....or I'm honouring the diet and hating every moment of it!
6) You shall not murder even if the person is eating Dairy Queen - OK, so I haven't ACTUALLY committed murder, but there are many times when I've fantasized about causing death. Remember the time I wanted to push the woman onto the GO Train platform for eating a gooey, chocolatey, ice cream thingy?!?
7) You shall not cheat on your fat intake - ah, I remember the day when I was told I couldn't eat sweet potato fries...shameful, really ...
8) You shall not steal, borrow or buy your way onto the red carpet at the Film Festival - Unfortunately, there are many security guards who have blushed at my unladylike behaviour and/or my creative use of profanity...sigh...
9) You shall not bear false witness against your food diary - inevitably the scale reveals all and when that happens, it ain't pretty or positive...case in point when I wanted to staple The Evil One's lips shut when he said my weight out loud.
10) You shall not covet your neighbour's chocolate cake...or your sister's caramel apple pie ... or your brother's Stone Cold Creamery Sundae...or your friend's Apple Fritter - puh-lease! Covet schmovet, I've been known to lay BIG TIME guilt trips on people for eating this food in front of me. I've also threatened bodily harm, which does NOT fall into optimal "Ambassador of Positivity" behaviour.
OK, so clearly I have alot of work to do to fulfill the Ambassador of Positivity obligations. BUT, I'm willing to cut myself some slack because, although I WANT to take down the Cinnabon eater, I have yet to do it. To me, that's the difference between good & evil, sane vs. insane, on the edge or over the edge.
G'night poppits...and behave!!!
(a) yt xox
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Sometimes the grass is not always that green
Well, it's been 4 days of my new food adventure and let me tell ya, it's been a bit hellacious. I've had some real challenges sticking to the diet of protein shakes and chicken & veggies and, to be truthful, I slipped up a few times.
But, I did have some successes...like....
- I worked out at LPS three days (keeping my "contract" with The Evil One)
- I did a sweat-my-ass-off hill program on the treadmill today
- I avoided shoving my face into the birthday cake of my great nephew, Lucas
- I did not mug the senior lady in my building who was giving away the candy bags on Halloween
These are all good things, poppits.
Now that I think about it, I actually had a "moment of glory" for myself. Please allow me to toot my own horn for a moment...setting the scene...
I just did a workout at LPS; it's day 2 of ass-tasting shake, chicken & veggies. I'm at Union Station waiting for my GO Train. I'm so hungry my stomach is growling loud enough that people are starting to line up in front of me thinking I'm one of the trains. Are ya with me?!?
I see an "empty" seat in between a woman, eating a chocolate bar and a man, sleeping, holding a McDonald's bag. In between them is a seat with a napsak on it. Because I'm masochistic and there really isn't another seat, I go for the seat between chocolate bar and McDonald's. I ask them to move the bag and the guy wakes up long enough to move the napsak...but he's still holding on to the McDonald's bag, which I notice has french fries in it. By now, my sense of smell has been heightened beyond belief and I swear I can smell the chocolate chips they're putting into the Mrs. Fields cookies on the other side of Union Station. Needless to say, I want those fries in a BAD WAY!!!
I sit between the lady (who has eaten the chocolate bar and is now shining up a red, juicy apple to eat) and french fries. I become fixated on the shiny red apple, running up and down the arm...rotating as it moves...getting shinier...and shinier...I watch the apple as it rises to the mouth and a bite is taken. I swallow before I drool...then I notice french fries man has started to snore...which makes me focus on him...and his french fries...glistening with oil...and salt...loosely being gripped by The Snorer...almost ready to fall out of their paper packet...into the bag that holds a wrapper...that used to hold a hamburger...or cheeseburger....or Filet 'o' Fish...
Then I feel the hunger pain in my stomach and think...
"FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, STEP AWAY FROM THE FRIES!!!!"
Which I do...and go and stand by the monitors...waiting for the platform to be posted so I can flee this fresh hell I am living within.
The Evil One warned me I should get used to hunger, but he didn't warn me that I would do horrible, self-inflicting torturous things like sit between chocolate bar/apple & french fries. There's something psychological in that, isn't there?!? As my mom would say, I've finally "flipped my pizza".
"What was my 'moment of glory'", you ask? Well, did I reach over and eat The Snorer's french fries? No! Or did I grab the shiny, red apple from the lady? No again! These are the moments to celebrate and I'll take 'em when I can, dammit! Crisis averted...
The rest of the week seemed more normal for me. I cooked dinner for my friends, Ayumi & Jennine, Friday night. These are two peeps from my improv days. Mind you, they've managed to make a living as professional actors/comediennes/writers. Perhaps because they're far more talented and much hotter than I am...that's ok, they loved my cooking! Anyway, it was INSPIRATIONAL conversation and wonderful to see them, even if they held me down and forced me to eat carbs...tee hee...
So it's time to put the challenges of the week behind me and to look forward to the week ahead. As Anne of Green Gables would say, "Tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it"....gotta love that!
Enjoy your new day, poppits!!
(a) yt xox
But, I did have some successes...like....
- I worked out at LPS three days (keeping my "contract" with The Evil One)
- I did a sweat-my-ass-off hill program on the treadmill today
- I avoided shoving my face into the birthday cake of my great nephew, Lucas
- I did not mug the senior lady in my building who was giving away the candy bags on Halloween
These are all good things, poppits.
Now that I think about it, I actually had a "moment of glory" for myself. Please allow me to toot my own horn for a moment...setting the scene...
I just did a workout at LPS; it's day 2 of ass-tasting shake, chicken & veggies. I'm at Union Station waiting for my GO Train. I'm so hungry my stomach is growling loud enough that people are starting to line up in front of me thinking I'm one of the trains. Are ya with me?!?
I see an "empty" seat in between a woman, eating a chocolate bar and a man, sleeping, holding a McDonald's bag. In between them is a seat with a napsak on it. Because I'm masochistic and there really isn't another seat, I go for the seat between chocolate bar and McDonald's. I ask them to move the bag and the guy wakes up long enough to move the napsak...but he's still holding on to the McDonald's bag, which I notice has french fries in it. By now, my sense of smell has been heightened beyond belief and I swear I can smell the chocolate chips they're putting into the Mrs. Fields cookies on the other side of Union Station. Needless to say, I want those fries in a BAD WAY!!!
I sit between the lady (who has eaten the chocolate bar and is now shining up a red, juicy apple to eat) and french fries. I become fixated on the shiny red apple, running up and down the arm...rotating as it moves...getting shinier...and shinier...I watch the apple as it rises to the mouth and a bite is taken. I swallow before I drool...then I notice french fries man has started to snore...which makes me focus on him...and his french fries...glistening with oil...and salt...loosely being gripped by The Snorer...almost ready to fall out of their paper packet...into the bag that holds a wrapper...that used to hold a hamburger...or cheeseburger....or Filet 'o' Fish...
Then I feel the hunger pain in my stomach and think...
"FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, STEP AWAY FROM THE FRIES!!!!"
Which I do...and go and stand by the monitors...waiting for the platform to be posted so I can flee this fresh hell I am living within.
The Evil One warned me I should get used to hunger, but he didn't warn me that I would do horrible, self-inflicting torturous things like sit between chocolate bar/apple & french fries. There's something psychological in that, isn't there?!? As my mom would say, I've finally "flipped my pizza".
"What was my 'moment of glory'", you ask? Well, did I reach over and eat The Snorer's french fries? No! Or did I grab the shiny, red apple from the lady? No again! These are the moments to celebrate and I'll take 'em when I can, dammit! Crisis averted...
The rest of the week seemed more normal for me. I cooked dinner for my friends, Ayumi & Jennine, Friday night. These are two peeps from my improv days. Mind you, they've managed to make a living as professional actors/comediennes/writers. Perhaps because they're far more talented and much hotter than I am...that's ok, they loved my cooking! Anyway, it was INSPIRATIONAL conversation and wonderful to see them, even if they held me down and forced me to eat carbs...tee hee...
So it's time to put the challenges of the week behind me and to look forward to the week ahead. As Anne of Green Gables would say, "Tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it"....gotta love that!
Enjoy your new day, poppits!!
(a) yt xox
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