Thursday, October 21, 2010

How do you celebrate SO MANY good things?

Hi all!

Sorry for my tardy update. It feels like forever since I was basking in the sun of Phoenix. Fortunately I still have the memories...and the tan!!

I was talking to my friend, Emmanuel...aka Motivator Man. He writes a great blog and motivational tips based on his passion - movies. Reading his blog will change the way you watch a movie!

ANYWAY, it had been a long time since we had chatted, so there was alot for us to catch up on. The last time we spoke, we were both in very different places. THIS time, it was all so awesome! Both of us have ALOT of amazing things happening in our lives. I said I felt like I was being grateful "almost hourly"....that's how many positive things that were happening for me. Fortunately, Emmanuel was experiencing the same abundance of awesomeness!

After hanging up with him, I began to notice the physical and emotional benefits I was feeling for being in a "grateful space"...

- I had a smile on my face ... even in traffic!
- I felt highly energized; like I could dance all night. (it DID help to have Billy Idol's "Dancin' With Myself" playing on the radio-just sayin')
- I felt optimistic and really happy...I mean playing-with-a-puppy-in-a-giant-field-of-soft-grass happy.
- I couldn't think of anything about which to be negative...or sad...or afraid.
- I felt like I was about to burst open with excitement, sprouting lovely, colorful flowers from my really taut belly (hey! I can dream of a taut belly, right?!?)

So, what does this mean? It's about feeling good, poppits, and what makes you feel that way. Looking at all the good things going on in your life is one of the best coping mechanisms you can have. Looking at your life through the lens of all the stuff you have vs. what you DON'T have changes your perspective in a good way.

Like, for example, the workout I had yesterday. The Evil One is back and worked me like there was no tomorrow. I did step ups; I pushed a friggin' bench back and forth across the floor; I did skipping with no mercy for the pain of my jiggly bits; I did 50 non-stop half-seated bench presses; THEN, I did ab crunches where I pulled myself up then hit the punching bags at the top. Seriously, by the end of the workout every muscle in my body ached. Did I feel like "accidentally" punching Werner in his manly bits? NO!! Actually, I thanked him for not giving up on me. For showing no mercy and reminding me I have the capability to do the hard workouts. Quite frankly, it was time to get back on the exercise horse and ride again and I was really happy to be back on the horse.

So, if being grateful can help me look at a workout as a GOOD thing, think of what that emotion can do for you!

Try it, you'll like it...

Wishing you things to be grateful for coming out your ying-yang!
(a) yt xox

Friday, October 8, 2010

For what are you grateful?

Halloooo and greetings from sunny, warm Phoenix! I'm sitting in my bro's office and thought I'd type you an update.

These past few weeks have been quite eventful and thought provoking for me. I always get kinda kumbaya around Thanksgiving because I try and reflect back on the year, remembering all for which I am grateful. As I look back on this year, all I can say is...

!!!!!! HOLY AMAZING, BATMAN !!!!!

Please indulge me while I take a few notes...
- lost a few pounds
- exercised a few times
- took a few trips to Phoenix
- climbed a little trail through the Andes
- developed and performed a few workshops
- got a few initials behind my name
- coached a few, AWESOME clients
- met a few new people

Get the picture?!? Oh, and how about, survived financially doing work I love with people that inspire me daily?

People, you can't imagine how incredibly grateful I am for the life I lead. If you are reading this blog, know that you are one of those people who have touched my life and ROCKED MY WORLD. To you, I am and will always be...

1) appreciative of who you are and what you bring to the table every time I see you!
2) amazed at your never-ending wisdom and inspiration
3) humbled by your courage
4) honoured by your friendship and trust

So tell me, poppits, when you look back on this past year...What made you proud? Who made you happy? What made you say "I totally ROCKED that!"?!?

I'm guessing those are the moments and the people for which you are most grateful!

Wishing you love, gratitude and lots of pumpkin pie! Happy Thanksgiving!
(a)yt xox

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Asking for help

Sitting in a Starbucks waiting for my car to get work done and thinking about the concept of help. Trust me, this is not a random thought sprung on me because of an incident at the Starbucks. Here's where I'm coming from...

Last night I joined Weight Watchers. There's a new "chapter" about 3KM from where I live (right next to a Baskin Robbins, btw - no irony there!). They have opening deals, so I thought I'd sign up and get back on track. It's time.

ANYWAY...the topic for last night's discussion was "Asking for help". Marlene, the facilitator, asked the question...if we could ask for help, what would we ask for and who would we ask for it from? When we all looked at her like deers in headlights, she took a step back and asked..."why is it so difficult for us to ask for help?"

Ooooohhhh.....good question!!!

While I'm the first one there for anyone who needs help, it's VERY difficult for me to ask for help myself. And, based upon the responses from last night's group, I'm not the only one who faces this challenge. Here's what some of the responses were:

- asking for help admits to failure
- asking for help exposes a vulnerability that isn't always comfortable to admit
- asking for help surrenders independence
- asking for help makes you dependent on others

YOWZA!! Really? Does asking for help really mean all of the above? It made me think about times when I actually DID ask for help and what REALLY happened. Let's do this checklist...

- Did I feel I failed? Not really. It was more like I just didn't know what to do next and realized I couldn't do this alone anymore. Admitting I don't know everything is a good dose of reality!

- Was I vulnerable? Oh yeah! I felt a little like I was taking another leap of faith. Only this time it was jumping off the ledge into the arms of someone, trusting they would catch me. And what did the person to whom I asked for help do with that vulnerability? Nothing really...didn't acknowledge it or embrace it or anything. Just helped...without question or judgment or drama. Which, btw, was the perfect reaction for me!

- Did I surrender independence? DARN TOOTIN'!! And that was a good thing! What makes me think I'm perfect enough to take care of EVERYTHING in my life?!? While I'd like to THINK I'm Wonder Woman, I'm not ... hello?!?

- Did I become dependent on others? For this particular situation, yes. And guess what? It worked!!

Here's the deal, poppits. No one can go alone in this world. I don't think we're meant to be completely self-sufficient for everything. Everyone needs some help, even if it's for an explanation of "Venti" vs. "Grande". Oh, and think about a time when you were able to help someone who needed help...how did you feel when you knew you COULD help him/her? Pretty good, eh?

So the next time you're stuck with something, ask yourself..."Who can help me with this?" and seek out that help. You'll feel better and you'll actually give pleasure to someone else.

Taking my own advice, I'm about to ask for help in refilling my Venti Pike Place coffee!

Here's hoping your leaps of faith and asks for help will find you jumping into the arms of Ryan Reynolds...or Scarlett Johannson ... or both! Hey! I'm not here to judge!
(a)yt xoxo

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Star gazing in Toronto

Hello all!

I'm taking a break from the blinding flashes of the paparazzi and the screams of the fans to touch base with you. That's right! The Toronto International Film Festival is in town and Yours Truly has been hanging about this week. For those of you who know me, you know that I am a HUGE fan of the glitz & glamor of celebrities, as well as an avid movie fan. TIFF is just a glorious combination of the two!

To be truthful, the star gazing addiction and the frenzy of "must get the best photo" is a new phenomena for me. When I lived in Los Angeles, it was not a big deal to see celebrities hanging about. So, where my addiction to the glamor has come from is beyond me. But I have to tell you, it's kinda over the top. I realized this as I found myself mashed up against complete strangers, waiting to see Edward Norton and Robert DeNiro before their movie, Stone, Friday night. I'm talking feel-the-heartbeat-of-the-person-standing-behind-my-back mashed. Now, the fact that I was in more intimate positions with complete strangers than with past boyfriends was not the disturbing part. What was alarming for me was my reaction when Robert DeNiro showed up and didn't even greet the crowd. Instead of seeing him, I saw the side of the SUV that drove him. I got caught up in the anger of the crowd and found myself yelling things like "Come on, Bobby...give it up for your fans!!" and "Who do you think you are? Al Pacino?!?"

Honestly, can you believe it?!? It wasn't my finest moment. The interesting thing is that I didn't realize just how ridiculous I was behaving until I started to tell some other friends about it. Their "yeah, so what?" attitude gave me good perspective. It helped me to GET A FRIGGIN' GRIP, SISTER!

I kinda vowed that I would control myself and not get so crazily involved in the hype. Fortunately, there weren't many other huge celebrities I was going to see, so the temptation really wasn't there. It was a good dose of reality for me, though.

So, I think I'm back to my "normal" perspective around TIFF. Yeah, it's fun to see celebrities (saw Amy Madigan, Ed Harris & Jennifer Connelly tonight!), but they are human too and are here to enjoy themselves. They like Toronto because the fans are non-intrusive and respectful. My behaviour towards DeNiro was not very respectful, truth be told. I have to retract the rumour I spread on Facebook that says he showed up late for the gala because he had a tummy ache and was found in an embryonic position crying "I want my mommy"..see, not respectful.

In the meantime, I will continue to be grateful for experiencing this for the 12th year in a row, with friends who are able to enjoy the glitz & glam with me. That's the best part! Star gazing is always better with someone!

Remember, poppits, everyone is glamorous in their own way. When you're getting ready for work tomorrow, pull out your finest outfit with your highest heels. Throw on some makeup, curl your hair and walk out the door like you're walking into your own paparazzi party. Believe me, you've got star power, so work it baby, work it!!

I'm signing off and heading to bed now. I need to be fresh for the red carpet!
(a)yt xox

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Scared straight!

Happy Hump Day, poppits! It's been a while since I've updated you on the saga that is my Journey to Good Health, so here we go!

I've been trying to maintain my routine of the 8-hour eating window, with no grains, sugar and dairy. For the most part, it's been a pretty good haul. There are days, however, when all logic gets tossed aside and I find myself in Organic Planet buying Kale Chips, the Awesome Almond mix and some of their yummy baked goods. Usually these things don't make the drive home before I've inhaled them, so all of those calories are consumed within a 15 minute drive...leaving me feeling full and like a failure!

I TRY to stay away from there, believe me, but it's like my car is on auto pilot and my feet just move themselves through the store. All the while, there is a running commentary in my head, outlining all the logical reasons why I should put down the Power Cookies and walk away before anyone gets hurt. I've even had visions of myself throwing my hand-carried basket of treats at the innocent, smiley cashier while running out of the store yelling "YOU WON'T TAKE ME ALIVE!!!!"

But that never seems to happen and I buy the food, snarf it down and begin the routine of self-loathing. sigh...

So, in my self-loathing mood, I went to a workout last Tuesday (17th). I put on 4 lbs., after having lost 6 lbs. the week before. Well, The Evil One had had enough and threatened to fire me as a client! He said he had fired clients before when the effort they put into their workout wasn't supported by the effort they put into their eating. He didn't want to waste his time. When I realized he was serious, I thought...

"OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG!"

What would I do without "The Evil One"?!? My rock? My support? My reality check? The thought was not pleasant as Werner has come to mean a great deal to me, beyond just the training. I consider him a friend and someone to whom I will always be loyal.

Needless to say that was a good wake up call. When I weighed in this week, I was down 4 lbs., so the scale is going in the right direction. I'm back to feeling calmer about my approach to food and I kick my own butt at my gym, so all's good on the exercise front.

In retrospect, I think Werner was just trying to shake me up - well done to him! Having said that, I think he also reached his point of maximum frustration with me. All he saw was someone who had worked hard for over a year to lose 85 lbs. and exercise her way through The Andes, who was now becoming complacent and uncommitted. Honestly, I can't blame him for questioning me and I thank him for that "brick wall moment".

I just want to know...

What happened to my passion?
What happened to my commitment to me?
What happened to my buns 'o' steal?!?

I want all of that back, dammit, especially the buns of steal! So, I remind myself of my "golden rules" for my Journey to Good Health...

1) One meal at a time - don't throw the day away if I mess up on one meal. Keep focused on every meal!

2) Keep the goals simple and achievable - 8 hour window; no grains, sugar or dairy; exercise HARD at least 3x/week; LOOK GOOD NAKED!

3) Celebrate my success - I'm still the smallest size I've ever been as an adult; I feel great; I've come a long way and I REFUSE to turn back!

4) "Reality check" myself to keep perspective - it didn't take me a week to put the weight on so why should I expect to lose it in a week?; I won't starve or die if I don't have bread. Honestly, it's just bread!; Heart disease, diabetes, high blood pressure run rampant on both sides of my family. Is that ice cream really worth the risk?!?

5) Share the journey - people want to help and have good suggestions for keeping me focused; everyone has their own personal challenges. Me blogging about my challenges just helps to remind people they aren't alone!

Well poppits, it's time to go to bed. Thanx, again, for listening to my story! I will leave you with one question...

What are your "golden rules"?

G'night!
(a)yt xox

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Sticking to the "real" me

Heidi ho, poppits!

I've had this blog running through my head since Friday, so I think I'll just get right to it, if you don't mind...

I began my day Friday with a knock 'em down, drag 'em out fight. Not an actual fist fight, although at one point I imagined I was inflicting physical pain. I was part of a verbal sparring match that left my heart bruised and my head exhausted. Lemme give you some background...

As you know, I've been working on contract in Mississauga. Besides myself and my friend, Aubrey, there is another woman on the team. She is smart, funny and has gained alot of technical and data knowledge in a short period of time. I appreciate and value what she brings to the table. On occasion, I let her know what I think of her work.

For the past week-ish, I've been butting heads with this woman, quite often receiving comments that were confrontational and bordering disrespectful. It's been challenging for me, to say the least. People who know me well would say I am "challenged" because I have this crazy need to have everyone like me. Add to it my incredible discomfort with confrontation and you've got a storm brewing. Can you see where this is going?!?

Friday things came to a head. We were in a team meeting and we ended up having a fight. Clearly things had been building up for this woman and she let me have it all. What was really weird for me, however, was my reaction. As I heard her say things like...

"I don't need your patronizing compliments. I don't care what you think." and...

"Every time you ask me a question I feel like you're challenging me. You don't have the right to challenge me." And...

"I don't report to you. I don't have to explain myself" ... And...

"You don't add any value to this process"...

OIE!! As she was going on and on and ON, I was having this discussion in my head. I was balancing an urge to lash out with my words and hurt her like she was hurting me against my desire to remain true to my commitment to be respectful in all conversations, leaving the person with their dignity and self-respect. This position has taken ALOT of work on my part to achieve and, on that Friday morning, I was having my own internal battle over my response. It was a very surreal experience, truth be told.

What happened? Well, I resisted my urge to use profanity and to verbally rip her to shreds. I did, however, defend myself and mentioned that I refuse to change who I was because she couldn't handle it. OF course, I used more words than that, but that was the gist of the message I gave her.

After we each took a break, we regrouped. She said she was feeling very frustrated because she had been doing all kinds of work and the project was not moving forward. She said she had taken her frustration out on me and asked for my forgiveness. WOW!! At that point, it didn't matter what she said before, I knew the REAL reason for her lashing out. It wasn't really about me. It was about HER frustration. And, btw, how amazing was she to be able to admit that to me AND to ask for my forgiveness?!? I sure learned a lesson in humility on that day. Oh, and I like her even more now.

So, what are my takeaways from this encounter?

* First of all, even during the toughest of times, staying true to who you are feels AMAZING!

* It's not always about me. I know...shocking! OK, so maybe there really were things I've done that have pissed her off. I get that. But at the end of the day, what she acknowledged was that it wasn't about me. ooh...maybe she likes me now ...

* At Adler, they teach you to listen to the words behind the words - understand what's going on under the surface. With this woman, there was more to it than just my behaviors. If I'd had my coaching cap on, would I have been able to sense the deeper frustration? Would I have been able to hear phrases or words that indicated something else was going on? Perhaps, but in this particular case it didn't matter. She was a big enough person to admit to the frustration and how cool is that?

I wanted to blog about this event because it really shook me up. The ranting of this person and the horrible words she chose reminded me of a few of my old bosses. It took me back to times I thought I'd forgotten and vowed I would never repeat. I promised myself I would never allow someone to bully or abuse me in the workplace again, and this felt like both. What made me proud was that I stood up for myself and I said I would not change who I was because she was uncomfortable with me. AND, I believe I did it in a respectful way. That felt great!

Poppits, remember the amazing things about yourself and never, ever, EVER let anyone make you question them.

Stay true, be proud and ROCK ON!!

Signing off with a mirror pointed at you. Check out the SUPERCOOLHAPPYLOVETHING staring back at 'cha! Ooh mama....smokin'....
(a)yt xox

Monday, August 9, 2010

"Moments of Joy"

Isn't that a great term?!?

Heidi ho, poppits and Happy Monday to you!

I am coming off of a FAB-U-LUSS weekend where I attended a Coaching Skills "Boot Camp" by "kick-ass" coach Dorothy Greenaway. She rocked and the weekend was AWESOME! As to be expected after spending a weekend with eight other coaches, I came away with some great self-awareness and learning. I also came away feeling better about my coaching skills and excited about the coaching conversation again. I was reminded of how much I really like listening and being curious.

As you know, 'cuz I mention it OVER AND OVER AND OVER again, I've been really trying to get my "mojo" back around losing weight and exercising. Whenever The Evil One asks me the question "but WHY can't you control your eating?", I never seem to have an answer for him. That has been a never-ending source of frustration for me. I've narrowed down when I eat (happy, sad, bored, not bored, hungry, not hungry, yada-yada), but haven't figured out the WHY behind it. This is the question I took with me to solve over this past weekend.

Was I able to "dig deep" and have a magical "a-ha" moment to answer the elusive "why"? Um, not so much, really. BUT I was able to remind myself of the "greatness" I wanted to achieve. That "greatness" being my crazy, impassioned desire to help people tap into their strengths and realize all they can be. By writing this blog, for example, my hope is that people will see the simple message I bring...if I can do it, ANYONE can do it. "It" being whatever huge obstacle they need to move.

Let's face it, people, my struggles are not the prettiest or easiest to have to witness and I thank you for sticking by me. But I've done what I set out to do - climb The Inca Trail. This weekend I realized that I really CAN do whatever the heck I want to do. I just need to get over myself! Have I seen any results? Well, I'm back to eating within my 8-hour window and have seen a serious reduction in carb & sugar intake. I'm back to feeling good about what goes into my mouth and that makes me happy!

One of the things we did was The Canopy Walk over The Haliburton Forest. Let me quote you from the website the description of The Canopy Walk...

"The canopy boardwalk is the ultimate highlight of this outing. Over half a kilometer long - and as such the longest of its kind in the world - the canopy boardwalk winds through the treetops some 10-20 meters above the forest floor. A platform suspended from the treetops above, becomes the gathering place where you can enjoy a leisurely snack while your guide elaborates on the forest environment surrounding you. A spectacular view across the lakes and forests becomes a fitting closure to your tree top tour."

Sounds lovely, doesn't it?!? What they DON'T tell you is that the "platform suspended from the treetops above" bobs & weaves like a drunken sailor on his way back to the ship from his shore leave!

Throughout the "ultimate highlight" that was The Canopy Walk, I found myself hugging trees as I hooked the clasps of my safety harness from one set of ropes to another; moving forward faster in a panicked state as my two partners progressed more confidently in the walk and I pulled up the rear; laughing hysterically (and I mean tears flowing, gut wrenching, face aching hysterical laughing) as I almost missed the GIANT first step that transitioned one suspended platform onto another; and tripping TWICE because my foot got caught on the rope at the side of wooden planks that was my boardwalk. Folks, I'm here to tell you I was FREAKED OUT!! The point of the walk was to get the "meta view" of the forest and to align that view with a coach's objective to always hold our client's meta goal in site for them. It's a lofty objective and one that Dorothy meant well in setting for us. But, all I know is that, for me, I couldn't see the forest because of all the fear I faced. Admittedly, I was able to feel better about my skills in transferring the safety clasps from one platform to another, but everytime I tried to look down and see the forest below, I felt a wave of nausea that caused me to grip the side ropes harder and make me walk a little faster to get the end!

Facing fear is a good thing, especially when you've got safety harnesses to back you up. However, you don't realize that until AFTER you've faced & conquered the fear. What's up with that?!? Too bad all fears didn't have crystal balls into which we could see us conquering whatever the fear was we faced. But then again, what fun would that be?!?


I'll wrap things up, but before I do, I want to share a tidbit from a coaching conversation I had with one of The Inca Chicks. She's the one who coined the phrase "Moments of Joy". During our conversation, she remembered being at Dead Woman's Pass (the highest point of our journey on The Inca Trail) feeling complete joy every time one of our team members arrived at the top of the Pass. Knowing how difficult the journey was, made her joyous EVERY TIME one of our team members reached the top. She said she decided to retire on top of that mountain because she wanted to find more "moments of joy" like the ones she experienced at Dead Woman's Pass. WOW!!

So tell me, poppits...What constitutes a "moment of joy" for you? And how often do you have them in a day?

Hmmmm.....

NOW tell me... what are you going to do to get more moments of joy in your life?!?

Wishing you "kick-ass" conversations and MANY moments of joy!
(a)yt xox

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Inspiration

Hi poppits!

Here's hopin' you had a great, long weekend and that getting back to work wasn't too challenging for you!

I had a great weekend, filled with socializing and re-runs of The West Wing - my latest DVD purchase. Man! I LOVED that show!

I also went to a couple of movies and dinner with pal-o-mine, Joanne. It had been a bit of time since I'd had the pleasure of Joanne's company alone, and I was reminded of how much I enjoyed spending time with her! We had great conversations and saw two AWESOME movies! Now, I don't normally do movie reviews, but I gotta tell you that Despicable Me (in 3D) and Salt were GREAT! Both movies rocked it, and to be truthful, were inspiring in their own way. Despicable Me was funny, creative and quite touching...fun for all. And yes, it's an adult movie too. Angelina Jolie in Salt was INCREDIBLE!! Say what you will about her love life (no wait! please say no more, I've had enough!), that chick can act! And run around...like for a long time and over many things! I'm sure she had a stunt women for the really difficult stunts, but that was DEFINITELY Angie running through the streets of Washington and around NYC. It was also Angie who did these amazing pivots off the wall just before she'd crack somebody upside the head with a gun and kick their butt...literally! So inspired was I that I'm going to tell The Evil One I have a new fitness goal. I want to be ripped enough so I can kick four CIA agents at the ready. I'm thinking it could take me a few months to figure out the sleeping-death-neck-grip move, but that's ok. I am, after all, a lover not a fighter!

After chatting with Joanne, I felt really good about my life. She reminded me of what I'd accomplish, and that this "moment of the journey" (i.e. when I can't seem to stop stuffing my face with everything) is just temporary. It's true. It reminded me of a great line in Anne of Green Gables, where Anne says "Tomorrow is another day with no mistakes in it"...or something like tha... you get the gist, right? It doesn't matter how badly you've messed up, there's always tomorrow...or next week... or the next five minutes! Whatever it takes to get back on track, go for it!

I've had to draw upon a couple of tidbits I've learned from the "yt School of Getting Back Up After You've Had Your Butt Kicked a Few Times":

- Guilt and regret are two wasted emotions. Feeling them benefits no one. Suck it up and make amends, learn from the experience and move on. Yeah, I've put on a few pounds since I've come back from Machu Picchu, but I'm nowhere near where I was, so I need to stop whining, start exercising and MOVE ON!

- Laugh as often and as loud as you can. I'm sure those of you who have actually heard my laugh would not describe it as "delicate", so I'm all about letting 'er rip whenever the mood strikes me. Trust me, I've learned from the best. My siblings & I are notorious for laughing...all the time ... regardless of whether or not it's appropriate. Just ask my traumatized nieces and nephews. But at least we laugh. Joanne also has a hearty laugh and this weekend we both let go of a few, good belly laughs. What a great feeling that was!!

- Life's too short for the "what ifs". I've never felt myself to be a major risk-taker, but this weekend I was reminded that I've actually been living on the edge for quite a bit of time. Pursuing a dream is not always the easiest thing to do, but I gotta tell you, it's AMAZING when you do it!

I loved my weekend and I am thankful to Joanne for her inspiration. I don't think she knows what she's triggered in me...oops! Gotta flip her this blog so I don't have a "what if" about that!

My question for you poppits is this....from where do you draw inspiration? What little things in life give you pleasure and renew your hope? What books or movies give you inspiration? What friend or relative or work colleague can YOU count on to lift your spirits? I hope I've planted a seed for you to start paying attention.

Wishing you days filled with no regrets, inspiration and rip-roarin' laughter!
(a)yt xox

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

I'm getting nothin'!!

Hello poppits! Greetings from a very hot Mississauga!

I've been noodling over this blog all day, wondering what brilliant bits of inspiration I can give to my small but loyal followers...and I'm coming up with nothing! So, I thought I'd give you an update on what I've been doing for the past week.

On the eating & exercise front, it's been a bit of a downer for me. I exercised Wednesday of last week, hard, by myself. Achieving my goal of an additional 30 skips for my workout (up to 360 now) and doing some weight work, squats and stretches. It was a great workout and I was quite proud of myself. I even did some ab crunches on the ball. Then I went to my workout with The Evil One Thursday and, just as I was tying my shoe, I threw out my back. Oie! So I walked out into the gym, bent over like a hunchback where I went through a series of stretches and some massage. That aching lasted for several days, unfortunately, so the rest of the weekend was a write off. On a positive note, the back is better now, but it made me realize I need to get back on track to take care of myself again.

The eating has been a challenge as well. Every day I start out with good intentions, but by the time evening rolls around, I have succumbed to my temptations. I need to figure this out as it's starting to get REALLY annoying. Not to mention I can't seem to shake off the weight I gained after Machu Picchu. Sooooooooo....here are my commitments to myself:

1) I will join a gym in the west end. I have one in mind, that's enroute to my job in Mississauga. My life has shifted from 3 days in Toronto to 3 days in Mississauga and it's time to start adjusting my ever-important work out routine. I commit to working out at least three times/week, including a workout with The Evil One.

2) I will get back to some of my old, good habits ... like ...
- not eating after 7:00
- eliminating grains
- fruit & yogurt once/day
- eliminating dairy

I'm looking forward to getting back to "normal". I kinda hate feeling crappy, truth be told. Crappy both physically and emotionally. Yeesh, how much weight does a girl have to lose before she can feel good about herself?!?

Werner asked me (again!) what are my triggers for eating. I really don't know. Actually, that's not true. I noodled this a bit and have actually tried to pay attention and, to be truthful, the question Werner should be asking is "What DOESN'T trigger me to eat?!?" Seriously...I eat when I'm happy, when I'm bummed, when I'm angry, when I'm bored, when I'm not bored, when I'm hungry, when I'm not hungry...get the picture?!?

It's kinda crazy, if you think about it. I mean, how long have I been at this losing weight thing? And why do I STILL hear chocolate brownies calling my name?!? It's getting old.

So, there you have it, poppits. Nothing inspirational, just glimpses into the never-ending saga that is my Journey to Good Health. Even through it all, I am still grateful for the weight I've lost...for the ability to continue exercising and better myself with each workout...for my amazing support network who love me regardless of my size or my mental state, which we all know changes like the wind!

I guess this struggling is all part of the journey, but I must admit that I'll be glad when it's over. Today The Evil One asked me if I could "visualize" myself at my optimal weight. To be truthful, I can't. But I can remember the great feeling of accomplishment after I've pushed myself one step further during the workout. Or the feeling of pride when I looked down at the conveyor belt in the grocery store upon seeing my healthy choices for that day. Those are the feelings I'm going for right now.

One step at a time, poppits, one step at a time...
(a)yt xox

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Pick your party, people!

Hi everyone! I hope you are keeping cool. Can it get any muggier?!? Yeesh!

This past week has been spent focusing on everything OTHER THAN eating properly and exercising regularly... not a good thing, poppits!

As you know, I've been feeling out of sorts since my return from Peru. I just can't seem to get anything right. I know this because I'm staring at a dusty, disorganized mess that is my condo, contemplating what else I can put into my mouth...even after eating a nice, healthy salad for dinner. I'm in trouble, once again!

As I think back on this challenging time, I realize I've run the spectrum of emotions...
... SAD that the trip is over
... CONFUSED about "what's next?" with me and my eating and exercise goals
... HAPPY that my work contracts have started
... RELIEVED that I can start digging myself out of the hole of debt
... THANKFUL that I have a great support network of people who are positive, loving and generous
... FRUSTRATED that I can't seem to get my weight loss "mojo" back
... TICKED OFF at myself that I continue to expend mountainous emotional energy on mole hill issues.

When I originally sat down to type this blog, I was going to invite you to my "pity party" while I droned on about how horrible the transition back to reality has been and how I just can't seem to feel good about myself. I was going to recommend that you B.Y.O.T (Bring Your Own Tissues) because, clearly, I am too self-absorbed to think of tissues for anyone else. Um, does this sound like a party YOU want to go to?!?

Fortunately for all concerned, I've given myself a mental head smack and said "SNAP OUT OF IT!!" This particular pity party has been canceled.

Instead, I'd like to invite you to another party. THIS party has...
... music you can dance to even if you have two left feet and no rhythm
... yummy tasting drinks that give you a slight buzz but do not lead you down the path of embarrassment
... food that tantalizes your taste buds without plumping your hips
... conversation that stimulates your brain, your heart and your soul
... people that make you laugh, make you think and make you want to never leave their side.

Does this sound like YOUR kind of party?!? I know I wouldn't want to leave! Sooooo, how do we get there?

Acceptance of and pride in who you are. Other people love & accept us just as we are, why can't we do the same with ourselves? Hmmmm.....

OK poppits, I'm closing the door on my pity party and I am about to walk into my new party. I can hear Kool & The Gang's song "Celebrate" wrapping up in the background. I smell the aroma of different, decadent foods. I see a bar with cocktail shakers and colorful bottles. Everyone inside is smiling or laughing and several people have their arms outstretched ready to greet me. As I get closer to the door, KC & The Sunshine Band comes on, and I KNOW I am ready to shake, shake, shake my booty. Who's walking in with me?!?

Here's wishing you the ability to see yourself through the eyes of a loved one.
(a)yt xox

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Hurts so good...

I'm doing one of my favourite things, as you all know. I'm sitting at a Starbucks location. This time it's in the heart of the financial district in downtown Toronto. I'm waiting for some of my Adler peeps to show up for our monthly "Coaches' Corner" get together. It's 15 minutes past the starting point and I have a feeling that I'm going to be this month's only participant. This is not a bad thing as it gives me a chance to write this note.

I attended the funeral of my Aunt Elsie yesterday. Although a sad occasion when anyone leaves this world, this time it was a blessing. Aunt Elsie, normally full of life with quick wit and a GREAT laugh, spent the last few months in alot of pain. It's good that she's no longer suffering. Now it's the family that will have to deal with their pain...

When I think of my memories of Aunt Elsie, I am always reminded of a woman who supported me with my weight loss journey. I remember sitting beside her one day while she was playing cards. I never liked PLAYING cards, but I enjoyed the bantering and trash-talking that always happened during a card game. For the record, Aunt Elsie could keep up with the best of them in terms of trash talking.

ANYWAY....

I was a teenager and was quite self-conscious of my weight. Aunt Elsie turned to me in between card hands and said "You losing weight, honey? You look good! I mean that. Listen honey, do yourself a favour and lose the weight while you're young. It gets really hard when you get old like me." On that day, Aunt Elsie was the only person who a) noticed and b) said anything about my effort to lose weight. It made me love her to bits!

Throughout my years of roller-coaster weights, Aunt Elsie would always tell me "you look good, honey", regardless of how big or small I was. I knew she meant it and was (and still am) grateful for her kind words and observations. I tip my hat, my laptop and my Venti Decaf Americano to you, Aunt Elsie! You will be missed by many, whose lives you probably didn't even realize you touched.

Before Aunt Elsie died, I was speaking with her son (my cousin) about her status. He was spending alot of time with Aunt Elsie and Uncle Pete, taking care of her and their business. He kept talking about her pain and the suffering she endured. I could tell he was in pain watching her. It reminded me of the pain I'd experienced in my life, and got me thinking about the different kinds of pain we all suffer...and how to cope.

Below are a couple of tips I've used to help me get through some harrowing, pain-filled days in my life:


#1 - TALK IT THROUGH
My cousin, Mansour, normally a happy-easy-to-smile kinda guy was really down. I could feel his angst over Skype. By the end of our conversation, he seemed to perk up and even laugh out loud on a few occasions. His pain was managed by a simple conversation - one where he was able to talk about his challenges and then let them go temporarily. For me, I felt overwhelmed by his pain so I had to figure out a way to put my anxiety aside and focus on him. This was a challenge to me, but something worthwhile for me to learn. I was so happy to see Mansour's BIG smile return to his face by the end of the conversation. I will always be grateful for my support network. During times when you're in pain, talk it through. If you're not a talker, like me, journal or write down your experience and what you're feeling. I know it sounds "touchy feely", but believe me, it will provide relief. During those dark times, ya gotta grab that relief whenever you can.

#2 - TAKE TIME FOR YOU
In 2009, I blogged about the challenges I faced when I was dealing with a crappy work environment on top of the rapid decline of my mom. May to October 2009 were dark months for me. One of the few things that kept me going were my weekly workouts with The Evil One. Although they weren't the most pleasurable (as you will recall!), they were 100% focused on me - on my improvement and good health. Those one hour sessions were my refuge from the challenges I experienced at work and the pain of watching my mother suffer. When you're constantly focused on others, it's really important to take care of yourself. For me, the physical exercise was great. Whatever you choose, pick something you enjoy and is 100% focused on you. It may feel a bit decadent, but YOU ARE WORTH IT!


#3 - LET IT GO
Sometimes people feel pain for a long period of time... Somebody said something to hurt you... You keep revisiting a part of your past that was difficult...you said or did something to someone that you regret (that's my favourite!)... Do any of these sound familiar?!? I'm notorious for re-living past moments of pain, especially when I've caused it to someone else. Sometimes it's difficult to move past it. I get that - believe me! When you keep re-living things that cause you pain, ask yourself the question "For how long do I need to suffer?" Honestly, what's the point? If you can't change the past, then what can you learn from it to help you move on? Do yourself a favour - forgive yourself and/or forgive others. It will save you alot of unnecessary angst!

Of course, these "pearls of wisdom" are from my own point of view and offer no psychological back up. Just me and my experience. I am interested in other perspectives, so if you'd like to share your thoughts on how you deal with pain, feel free to comment on the blog or send me an email. I'm always curious about you, poppits!

Well, it's official. I am the only person at Coaches' Corner this month! Time to pack up and head to see Despicable Me with niece Jennifer and nephew Craig - can't wait!

Wishing you pain-free moments forever!
(a)yt xox

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

The joy of relaxation...

Greetings poppits! I'm sitting in a Starbucks where I've been staring at spreadsheets and Word documents for the past 2 hours.

It's break time and I can't think of a better way to spend this time then with you!

As you know, I've taken on a few contracts recently, in addition to reconnecting with my existing clients. This adds up to a certain "busyness" about my days now. I'm not complaining, don't get me wrong. As a matter of fact, I thank my lucky stars at least 5 times a day for enabling me to have creative and fulfilling work each day. What it's meant for me is that I'm not taking time out to just enjoy myself...like now. I miss hangin' in a Starbucks, people watching where I see and hear...

- a pimply-faced kid snorting out loud at the instant messages he's receiving on Facebook. He looks like he's having his own private party online. I wonder how I can get invited to that party...

- the "like, TOTALLY, loud group of, like high-energy-high-pony-tailed" young females that just entered. They are, like, really, um, like LOUD? But man! They are having fun!

- the ginger molasses cookies in the display case calling my name...LOUDLY...

- the guy with his arms and calves covered in tattoos, with the funky hair style and the awesomely sculpted facial hair...and I mean "sculpted"! Seriously, I bet it would take him at least an hour to shave every morning. Actually, he probably thinks of it more as "managing his image" vs. shaving!

- incredibly high energy staff. Honestly, I think they may have ingested too much caffeine. It'll be interesting to see the caffeine crash in a couple of hours!

Ah, it's good to be back in this space...

Today I had lunch with some of the Inca chicks. It was great to reconnect with them. They're all so awesome! One of the ladies will be retiring at the end of the month and we were talking about what she wanted to do. Her response? "I just want to entertain and invite people over for a BBQ all the time"...how awesome is that?!? Now she's got retirement in perspective! I'm sure she'll figure out how she wants to approach and structure her next phase of life. As a matter of fact, I've been hired to coach her through the process. But for now, all she wants to do is enjoy her free time and recuperate from the years of being on the never-ending treadmill of work.

Lemme ask you something, poppits. If you were facing retirement in three weeks, what would you do? Then lemme ask you something else...what's keeping you from doing it now?!?

Wishing you all the chillaxin' time that you can bear!!
(a)yt xox

Saturday, July 3, 2010

"Count your blessings instead of sheep"

Today I got a text message from a rock star client, who was reading my blog while on vacation. She quoted words from my "Mountains vs. Mole Hills" blog. That little text started this whole flood of reminders of all the great things I've got going on in my life. Really, it was quite an amazing response! It started with me thinking about this client and how much I enjoyed getting to know her...then made me think about how much I like coaching ... and ended with me looking in the mirror and saying "How awesome is my life?!?"

Hello poppits, and Happy Canada Day weekend! I hope you're enjoying the awesome weather.

It seems that, lately, I've been encountering people who have so much negativity going on in their lives they can't seem to see anything positive...anywhere! I also know what it's like to be so down that it's hard to see past anything else. I really feel for them. It's challenging to try and pull yourself out. For me, I try to take it one step at a time. Or rather, one blessing at a time....

When I was growing up, my dad & I had a tradition where we'd watch the movie, White Christmas, ever year...regardless of when it came on the TV! It was a great experience and an awesome memory to share with my dad. There was a scene with Bing Crosby and Rosemary Clooney. Bing rassles up some sandwiches, a pint of buttermilk and a piano and sings this little ditty to a fretful Rosemary...

If you're worried and you can't sleep
just count your blessings instead of sheep
and you'll fall asleep counting your blessings...

Corny, I know, but a good message.

Taking a step back to examine all the good things in your life is a good exercise to practice. However, it's hard to do when you're stressed out and can't see past your large bills...or your unfulfilling job...or your crappy relationship...or your freaked out family ... or the numbers on the scale that don't seem to go down...or (insert your stress point here)....

Whatever it is that's keeping you down, take the yt challenge to change your headspace...

- look yourself in the eyes (while standing in front of the mirror..duh!) and challenge yourself to find THREE positive things in your life
- then think of TWO more
- then think of TWO more
- keep going until you've run out of time or you really can't think of any more.

Then, take a mental check...how are you feeling now? A little more optimistic? Are you smiling..even just a little bit? Do you feel like things are a little more manageable?

If you don't feel a little more optimistic, let me know. We'll work on it together. But trust me...just try it once! What have you got to lose?!?

Wishing you positive thoughts and a really great suntan!
(a)yt xox

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

The skinny on The Inca Trail

Hi again! I know, I know...twice in one night?!?

I thought I should do a quick de-brief on the rest of my trip, while the TV is still off! In a nutshell, it was the most amazing thing I've done to date. The Trail itself was incredibly beautiful and wickedly challenging.

I learned alot about myself while I was hiking. Things like:
- the only thing that saved me from my own evil, sabotaging thoughts was to count steps. Seriously! During the really difficult hiking parts (like, three of the four days!), I had all these thoughts that weighed me down. Inner Critic? Perhaps ... or just fear and exhaustion. Anyway, I learned that the best way to stay focused was to count my steps! I tie this back to when I was running all those steps before I left. Remember? I had to reach the goal of 2,000 steps so every time I ran them, I counted. Quite interesting!

- even stale, white bread can taste good when it's slathered with butter, jam or a Nutella-like mystery substance.

- a physical challenge like this has an amazing way of bonding a group of people. On the second day of the climb (called "The Sacrifice when we went from 9,300 ft to 10,100 ft), I hiked to the top of Dead Woman's Pass behind two folks. We were all struggling, physically and emotionally, to get to the top. The motivation for the three of us? Pinky swear commitments to stay with each other and the shouts of congratulations we heard as other people reached the top! For myself, those cheers were like an angel's chorus calling me above the clouds ... heavenly ...

- there is no graceful way to enter or exit a two-person pup tent. You either do it bum first, which is not a pleasant sight for the innocent folks walking by. Or, the other way is feet first, which means crawling out on your bum and getting dirty. By day 4, getting dirty didn't matter to me...nor did having hair that stuck to my head or smelly feet for that matter...just sayin'....

- I have set the standard of physical activity for my vacations. No longer will my vacations just be about vegging. I expect to have a good combination of physical challenge and relaxation. Camping without running water for 4 days, not so much...

There are so many other learnings to share, but I'm starting to feel the need to pop on the TV and mentally check out for the evening. I promise to provide snipets in my upcoming blogs. In the meantime, I've made a Picasso web album of the trip. Feel free to check it out! BTW, you may need to cut & paste the link into your browser to make it work.

http://picasaweb.google.com/114426312429469241773/TheIncaTrailMay2010#
(a) yt xox

Sunday, June 27, 2010

Mountain or Mole Hill?

Well hallooooooooooooooooo! I'm back and happy to be here...again! What a ride it's been. Thank you for coming back. A special thanx to those of you who have, patiently, asked and waited for me to return.

A few weeks ago, a good friend of mine casually said that I make mountains out of mole hills. My first reaction was to freak out, get pissed off, then actually register what was said. I had a feeling that my initial reaction could've been a good example of me making a mountain out of a casual observation...hmmmm...the drama queen returns...

This innocent comment got me thinking about a whole bunch of things going on in my life, and how I had been approaching them. Admittedly, I was out of sorts when I returned from Peru, calling it my "post-Inca Trail Blues". While the trip was TOTALLY AMAZING, I experienced quite a let down. I understand this experience is "normal", however it really put me into a funk. Since I had been planning for this trip - physically, emotionally & financially - for close to a year, having it over left me without focus. I kept asking myself "what's next?"

... what goal do I have to work towards to get the last of my weight off?
... now that I'm back to "reality", what am I going to do to make money?

These were big questions for me and I started to feel overwhelmed and, yes, a bit depressed. Clearly I'd lost my drive and felt REALLY unfocused. I gained 14 lbs....yes, FOURTEEN... and stopped exercising regularly. I still had my weekly work outs with The Evil One, but didn't go into the gym beyond the one/week. And forget about working out at home...

So, here I was feeling blah...so blah that I couldn't even blog about it...when my friend made the statement about me making mountains out of mole hills. It got me thinking about my approach to things. He was right! Cases in point...

MOUNTAIN NUMBER 1 - HEALTH
- why did I need another "Machu Picchu-like" challenge to get the weight off? How about the goals of being healthy and looking good naked? I realized I just needed to take control of one thing at a time, setting small, achievable goals for myself. Considering I ate carbs-upon-carbs-with-a-hint-of-protein on The Trail, eliminating carbs would be a good first step to regaining control. It's amazing what happens when you stop eating grains! Oh, and lest I forget the accountability. So now, I weigh myself everyday and email a picture of the scale to The Evil One. I'm losing again and I feel much better now that I'm eating healthy.

- on the exercise front, I've committed to doing a workout at least two other times/week in my condo. You'll be happy to know that Werner never caved on his commitment to my torture. I returned to even more challenging routines. For example, today I had to SKIP during my workout! My first reaction was to worry about the visual of all my jiggly bits flying about in front of The Evil One while I jumped rope. I know he's evil but even I couldn't inflict that torture on him. Unphased by my drama, he suggested facing the window (vs. the mirror), overlooking the railroad tracks outside. Imagine the "mountain" view the GO Train riders caught as they were passing through...YOWZA!!

MOUNTAIN NUMBER 2 - WORK
- it's true that the "irons" I had in the fire before the trip didn't pan out upon my return. But I realized I was still capable of developing new leads and getting other work. I'm great at networking, so a few strategically placed emails and coffee meetings later, and I'm working with my good friends, Duane & Aubrey, doing some cool work with a great organization. I'm also going to deliver my Defining Your Unique Selling Proposition workshop again (Saturday, July 24 from 9:00 - noon...email me to sign up at yvonne@ymtStrategies.com). AND, I'm in the process of collaborating with a few, different friends to develop other really cool workshops.

MOUNTAIN NUMBER 3 - THE BLOG!!!
- I couldn't bring myself to blog... I was freaking out thinking I had to be inspirational when I wasn't feeling inspired...that I had to go into great details about my trip and speak about deep, meaningful life learnings...that people were expecting brilliance when I was feeling really mediocre (Really, Yvonne? Brilliance?!?)...blah, blah, blah...Reality check? IT'S JUST A FRIGGIN' BLOG!! I just needed to sit down, keep the TV and radio off and type from the heart.

YEESH! I now GET what my friend was saying! I gotta tell ya, all this mountain climbing is mentally exhausting! And, at the end of the day, fixing my "problems" was simple:
1) get off my couch (exercise again)
2) shut my pie hole (eat the right foods)
3) be creative (network for contract work)
3) just type (for the love of God!)

Really poppits, I'm not trying to minimize your problems. Only you can separate the mountains from the mole hills. But do yourself a favour before you react: Ask yourself a simple question...

... what's the level of emotional energy this situation deserves?

It has certainly helped me to put things into better perspective. It also helps when you've got friends who care about you enough to tell you the truth. I care, poppit, just ask ...
(a)yt xox

Monday, May 10, 2010

Getting ready to hit The Inca Trail!

Greetings from our base just outside of the entry point into The Inca Trail!

We are staying at a FAB hotel with lots of coziness all about it. It´s a good thing, too, as this is our last night of comfort for four days! Let me catch you up briefly on what we´ve been doing...

Yesterday was an official guided tour of ´Sexy Woman¨with our guide, Eddie. It was good to get all the background on the history of the site and the Incas. It took up over 30 Hectares of land, and that was only 20% of what the full site used to be. Amazing! In the afternoon we had a tour of some key, city highlights. We were very behind, like herding kittens to be truthful. But we all had a good time and I guess that´s what counts. Well, unless you´re Eddie and you´re trying to keep us all organized.

Today we did white water rafting in wet suits. Now, to be truthful, I was kinda excited about putting on a wet suit, as I thought it was going to be so tight it would hold in my jiggly bits. Actually, I think it emphasized them. Or perhaps that was my imagination. It didn´t help that Willie, captain of the captains of our boats, said ´OK, we have the big suits´...´for you´. And I was the first one he gave it to...oie! I said, ¨story of my life¨and was met with a barrage of supportive comments by my fellow Inca Chicks who reminded me of how far I´d come. Good on them, really! I must admit that my brother had the schwankiest of the suits, with cool colours and sleeveless. We were all jealous!

We had a BLAST on the rapids. It was a great combination of slow and relaxed vs. level 3 rapids, which are kinda aggressive. Well, at least they seemed that way to me, as I got splashed in the face with several waves! It was alot of fun, and we even managed to have a few water fights! I learned a little about myself after the days´events...

- it´s a good thing to give up control to someone who actually knows how to white water raft. This was not something that was easy for some of my boat colleagues, so I found myself reminding them that ¨Jorge really knows what he´s doing.¨ I was hapy to see that I wasn´t a control freak...at least not in the boat!

- guinea pig is a delicacy in Peru. We went to see a Peruvian home in which they were breading guinea pigs for consumption. I learned that I can NEVER EVER eat one of those cute, furry little creatures...did I say ¨EVER¨?!?

- After the stress of trying to reduce the weight of my Inca Trail bag from 20 lbs. to 12 lbs., I learned that I can really live minimally when I don´t have to shower for 4 days. God help my walking partners! BTW, my brother ALMOST sacrificed his deodarant until I guilted him into taking it and using it. It´s a good thing he likes the rest of the people on the tour with us!

It is SUCH a good group of people and we are all bonding beautifully. We are going to have a great time. Eddie, our guide, described the four day hike as follows:

Day 1 - a long day of walking(turns out we will walk 14 KM)
Day 2 - our ´sacrifice´to the Inca Gods...this would be the stairs and the high altitude
Day 3 - Meditation - easier walk, and lots of beautful sights for enjoyment
Day 4 - Inspiration - our arrival into Machu Picchu!

I know this is going to be a good trip. I can just feel it in my entire being. I can´t wait to wear the shirt that says, I SURVIVED MACHU PICCHU !!

Well poppits, it´s been a long day and I need to get my beauty rest. Tomorrow begins the adventure for which I´ve been preparing for 10 months. I can not begin to express my excitement.

Take care and next time I type at ´cha I´ll be telling you of my success!!
(a)yt xox

Saturday, May 8, 2010

Greetings from Cuzco, Peru on May 7, 2010

Hola poppits!

I´m typin´at ´cha LIVE from my hotel in Cuzco. What a great adventure we are all having! The culture is great, the people are pretty cool and the food (of which I am inhaling significant portions) is great! All good...

Crossed hurdle number 1 today. We did a mini hike to a place called ¨Sascsayhuamin¨which we´ve been calling ¨Sexy Woman¨ cúz that´s as close as we can get to the correct pronunciation. There were about 200 stairs and a steady incline after the stairs. It was a good test for us to see how we would fare in this altitude. The key learning for me? Resist my urge to move at my normal pace or I'll be huffing like a fiend! All good learning...

I have been experiencing some signs of altitude sickness, but nothing to be really worried about. The biggest issue for me has been that my body feels really sluggish. Could be all the carbs I´m eating, though, but whatever! Anyway, I´m really glad I did the hike today. It made me feel better about what I´m going to face on The Inca Trail. BTW, when we tell the locals what we´re doing, they get all excited and talk about how beautiful it is...can´t wait!

So far, I´ve learned a few good tips...

- negotiation for better prices is key to a successful shopping trip

- street meat in foreign countries is BAD, no matter what your brother says

- supporting the locals by giving them a few Peruvian soles every now and then goes a long way to building relationships, which are especially important when finding clean bathrooms

- it´s more the exception than the rule to have your lungs collapse when stepping off a plane at high altitude

My Inner Critic has been having alot of fun with me on this trip. But today, climbing that hill to Sexy Woman was the greatest gift to shut her down!! Tell me poppits, what are you doing to shut down your Inner Critic?

I may not be able to type again, so keep sending those positive vibes!!
(a)yt xox

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

45 minutes until I leave for the airport!

And here I sit, watching Glee on my DVR and typing my blog. I'm all packed ... no small feat, thank you very much! I am quite organized for this trip. Well, at least the 5 day climb anyway. I have bags for each day ... no kidding. A bag a day, that's what this trip's come down to!

So, I don't have anything wonderful and wise to say, unfortunately. But, here's a quick update since my last blog:

- I've lost all the weight I gained (5 lbs. - oie!), so I'm back to my total loss of 85 lbs. This was achieved by NOT eating carbs, grains, dairy and tons of sugar! Amazing how quickly it will come off...

- I didn't do any exercising since my 18KM hike. Not sure why, but I did do a workout yesterday. I decided I should do something, even though The Evil One did offer to skip the workout and take me to Cora's for what sounded like ooey-gooey waffles. And, if you can believe it, I actually chose the workout over the ooey-gooey waffles! What's that all about?!? To be truthful, I would have preferred steak and eggs over the waffles, but I'm sure that once I was there I would've succumbed to something decadent. Thankfully, I chose the workout!

- My fear is still there, but it's more like worry. Will the overly-stuffed duffel bag pop one or all of it's zippers?!? Did I bring enough clothes? Are the clothes I packed really dispensible and, if so, will they make enough room to buy all the potential souvenirs I may buy? Do I really have enough baby wipes?!?

Despite my worrying, I am being picked up at 2:00 where I will meet the rest of the Inca Chicks at the airport. I will board the plane and I will land in Lima, then head to Cuzco. I will finish The Inca Trail, getting my picture taken in Machu Picchu with the rest of the gang. I will be smiling and feel fulfilled, even if my hair is out of control curly or (even worse) smashed against my head! It will be the icing on the cake that has been this 10 month journey.

After my workout yesterday, I bumped into Karolina at the GO Train station. She was the perfect person for me to see just before this trip. Karolina has been and continues to be amazingly supportive, upbeat and optimistic. She is always happy, and happy for me. She has high energy and is just really fun to be around. Her parting words to me, said as she was giving me a big hug, were: "You're gonna do just fine, Yvonne." And I believe her...

I am not taking a laptop so, unless I find an internet cafe on The Inca Trail, I will be unplugged until the 19th.

Take care, poppits! And, if you feel like it, feel free to send positive vibes from the 11th - 15th when I'm actually doing the climb - anything will help!

Cheers!
(a)yt xox

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

It IS possible to slap yourself around

for the record....

OK, so I fessed up in an earlier blog to not eating properly, like I was testing myself to see just how much of the wrong foods I could eat and not get away with gaining weight. Well, I'm up two pounds from my "experimentation" and the official "smack upside the head" happened last night.

OK, so 2 lbs in the scheme of things isn't alot - I hear ya. BUT what this two pounds represents is more significant. Here's what I noticed about myself....

- not only was I eating food I wasn't supposed to be eating, but I also didn't exercise to the same level I was used to doing. I didn't do ANY stairs last week, nor did I do a hike. Considering I've got a HUGE challenge in a little over a week, that is not a good thing!

- I realized I was far more anxious about my upcoming adventure to Machu Picchu then I was willing to acknowledge. I am VERY nervous about this climb...will I be able to make it? Will I hurt myself? Will my toes fall off or, even worse, will I experience altitude sickness and not be able to even go on the hike?!?

I've been feeling WAY overwhelmed and not acknowledging it. So, here's me acknowledging it....

And here's me telling myself to "suck it up, sister"! Seriously I am SO READY for this hike. And even if I'm not, what am I gonna do with a week to go?!? Yeesh!

I was talking to one of the trainers where I work. His name is Justin and he's from Ireland and has done many crazy-ass adventures. Today he said to me that fear is good as it keeps us alive. Facing our fears is energizing and positive. This from a guy who camped out in hurricane-ridden locations and in between mountains during the dead of winter. Easy for him to say as he probably has no fear! But his point is valid.

I recognize this fear in me. It's the same fear I had just before co-hosting the Child Find Donor Recognition night...and the fear I had just before I did my workshop for the first time. It's a good, nervous fear that keeps me on my toes and ready for anything to occur. When I put this fear into perspective, it helped me to realize that I needed to keep myself focused on what was important to me - eating healthy and exercising. That's when I threw out all of the tempting/yummy foods in my house and snapped out of it!

So, I'm back to two protein shakes and a sensible meal with protein every day. I look forward to the trip, that is just around the corner. No longer am I afraid - well, at 4:40 today I am not afraid. I'm looking forward to finishing the week with control over my eating and exercising like in the crazy fiendish way to which I've become accustomed, including an 18KM hike tomorrow with Marta, my tent mate.

I've realized there are two kinds of fears - the kind that debilitate you and the kind that motivate you. The ones that motivate you, like the ones I'm facing about this trip, push you beyond your comfort zone and scare the bejeebies out of you. These, in my opinion, are the ones that push us to a higher level of greatness.

So tell me, poppits, what fears motivate you? What are you doing to embrace them?!? I say strap a saddle on those fears, climb up and yell "GIDDEE UP!!!"
(a)yt xox

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Escapism - what does it really mean?

Well, here I sit snug-as-a-bug in my bed, having just completed a 7KM walk in one hour. I don't know how that compares to others, but I sure felt like I was clippin' along! It helped to have rockin' good music to listen to!

Truth be told? I HAD to walk to escape myself. It's true, poppits. I have been eating anything that is not nailed down...and then some! I seemed to have lost control of myself for the past week-ish, so my last resort was to just leave. You know you're in trouble when the only way to stop eating is to leave your house (and fridge) for an hour. And the thing is, I've been eating weird stuff...like Kale chips. Know what those are? Dehydrated kale with cheese-like substance sprinkled on them. Honestly, where's the attraction there, and yet, I feel I can't live without them. Oh, and these cocoa nibs...not chocolate nibs, 'cuz those would make sense. No, the craving I have are for these cocoa nibs from some South American country where, apparently, sugar is non-existent. To put them in perspective? The Evil One snacks on these things. They taste like cardboard and yet, I have an addiction.

Really, I need to give my head a shake. The thing is, they lead to other cravings like...Easter candy that is 75% off at Shoppers Drug Mart...and Venti Vanilla Lattes at Starbucks...and "If I Had A Million Flavours" Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream on sale at Loblaws...see where this is going?!?

111 I'VE FALLEN AND I CAN'T GET UP !!!

I wish someone would invent a clapper whereby you clap and your mouth is glued shut for an hour...or a year...


On the positive side, I haven't gained any weight, but I haven't lost any either. I'm plateaued, for the love of God. And it's something I can totally control myself...

And so, I walked tonight...good for me. This would be the kind of escapism that is a good thing. Like watching Glee when your home is a disaster area. It's ok not to do housework then because it is, after all, Glee.

On the positive side, I came home so energized from the walk that I didn't feel like eating anything, so that's a good thing. I suppose there are worse ways to handle an eating frenzy than to exercise, right?!?

Movin' on....

Lots of good stuff happening. First of all, I handed in my practicum binder Wednesday, which means another MAJOR chapter of my coaching certification is done. For the record, this binder was an accumulation of close to one year's worth of work, including all my journalling, my Adler work assignments and my vision as a coach. It was alot of work and something I am quite proud of, to be truthful.

I'm still plugging away for The Inca Trail preparation. Now that my practicum binder is in, I can focus on all of the things I haven't been doing to prepare for the trip - YOWZA! So much to do and time is ticking away...it's all good, though. At the end of the day, I'm getting on the plane, with or without my No Rinse Shampoo!

The exercising is going well. I broke my goal of 2,000 steps, doing 2,100 last week. That was quite exciting, although quite exhausting! Admittedly, running steps isn't the funnest of exercises, but it's great preparation. Next week I'm hiking with a couple of The Inca Chicks. We're going to hike for 8 hours. God help me!

I had two really cool incidents happen this week:
- first one occurred as I was walking down the stairs at the Bloor/Yonge subway stop. A cranky old man told me to "move my skinny ass down the stairs". Apparently he didn't notice all the people moving slowly ahead of me. But that didn't matter. I wanted to French kiss him on the spot but thankfully, sanity prevailed.

- I went to see my doctor for a prescription for my altitude sickness meds. She said "oh my. I would not have recognized you. It must be all that good Lebanese food you're eating." I didn't have the heart to tell her it was fasting and other crazy ass tactics that got me to where I am. Just wait for the next phase, sister!!!

Well, it's time to sign off, poppits. I'm so excited. I just bought the latest book by friend and FAB author, Kathy Buckworth. If you recall, Kathy is the one who wrote The Blackberry Diaries. This latest book is titled, "Shut Up and Eat! Tales of chicken, children and chardonnay" and promises to be equally funny. If you're up for a good, funny read, buy the book and support a friend. I promise you, you won't regret it!

G'night and here's hoping your escapes are fun and productive!!
(a)yt xox

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

!! DING !! Twitch, twitch...

OK, that's the sound of the lightbulb going off in my head after realizing that, this time next month, I will be on Day 3 of The Inca Trail.

"Twitch, twitch" is what my left eye is doing right now.

OH-MA-GAWD!!! I am sooooo unprepared for this trip...I need to get my shots, finish off my shopping, decide on the right protein bar, practice peeing in the bushes...do you see why I'm stressed?!? Oh, and by the way, I have a Practicum binder to hand in on the 22nd...

!!!!!! CALGON, TAKE ME AWAY !!!!!

OK, drama over and I'm back....

All kidding aside, I'm getting a little freaked out. Although I've done really well so far, I'm still about 20 lbs from where I wanted to be - not fun! I might be able to get 10 lbs off, but I'm thinkin' the extra 10 will have to come later...unless...I can get my head wrapped around some drastic food reduction measures like a couple of days of only protein shakes..doable...a few more fasting days ... also doable. Or perhaps I should just close my pie hole and stop eating food that isn't on my list! Seriously, it's all within my control. All I need to do is shut my mouth!!

On the exercise front, tonight is the first time in a long time where every muscle in my body is screaming in agony. Today was a good workout! I did squats, without the bench upon which my bum must touch. Instead, there was no bench and I went lower...na-na, na-na, poo-poo! It helped that I didn't have to carry that friggin' 15 lb. bar over my head, I'll admit. Then I did these step ups that made me do one leg at a time and at an elevation I'd never had before. They were quite challenging, but I was so proud of myself for doing them. I had never been able to get that high before.

I felt really proud of myself today. Well, except for the time I lost my balance and almost fell on top of The Evil One. That would've been karmaic, but alas! It didn't happen...

So, now that I'm typing here, I've sorta talked myself away from the ledge a little bit. Physically, I'm doing pretty well and seeing great progression in my stair climbing and my workouts with Werner. That makes me feel better about my state of readiness. I'll feel even better when I take off another 10-15 lbs. before I go. It will just make things easier.

OK, feeling a bit better, poppits...thanx for reading while I freaked out!

I went back and took a boo at some of the older blogs. Ah, "the good, old days"...when I could eat all the protein and nuts I wanted to eat with no guilt from The Evil One...when I took Epsom salt baths after EVERY workout (woosie!)...when I actually wanted to cause bodily harm to someone eating Dairy Queen...oh wait! That was just yesterday! But seriously, it was a great way for me to really see the progression I've made since Feb. of last year. Here are a few highlights:

- my desire to kill innocent, in-the-wrong-place-eating-the-wrong-thing people has decreased significantly
- I haven't walked through Laura Secord with drool on my chin in a while
- I no longer force myself to sit in front of the Dairy Queen Waffle Sundae posters as a sado-masochistic torture tactic

I have now banned myself from both Planet Organic AND Whole Foods, but that's just a little thing, right?!? I have made progress, right?!?


Well poppits, it's time to sign off and get my beauty rest. I will ask you this:

If you were to go back and review this past year, what are you most proud of having achieved?

Noodle it, poppits. I'm sure your list of achievements would be as long as your arm!!

Bask in the cocoon of your success!!
(a) yt

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Life in the fasting lane

Halllooooo from a very sunny-but-cold Mississauga! I'm sitting in my living room again - nice to be back from Phoenix. Of course, seeing the sunshine helps with the transition!

Well, it's 9:00 am Saturday morning, making it the 39th hour of fasting for me. Yes, that's right. As of Thursday evening, 6:00 pm, I have consumed nothing but the following:
- water with lemon
- herbal tea
- more water with lemon
- hot water with lemon
- CALM (Magnesium powder) with hot water

I'm celebrating now by taking my first sip of coffee - no milk but with the blessed Stevia! It feels like heaven to put something into my mouth that has flavour! Food will come later when I meet an old friend for brunch.

So why did I do this? Mostly to determine if I really had the wherewithall to actually do it...and I do! Yeah for me!! Oh, and because The Evil One doubted that I could actually do it. He didn't say it, but I saw the "I'll believe it when I see it" look in his eyes that, quite frankly, ticked me off. Talk about "motivation"...

Now before some of you roll your eyeballs permanently into your head at the thought of my crazy tactics, think about this...

- lots of naturopaths recommend a weekly (or at least monthly) "cleanse". You can do it with natural products that run through you like a steam ship or you can do it by fasting. If, nay, WHEN I do this again, I will add some fibre to the water and really clean out my system. It's safe and natural.

- a reminder, again, that symptoms of starvation don't kick in until at least 48 hours with no food. So the good news is that my body is feeding off itself and believe me, there is still plenty of nourishment left for it to enjoy!

- Fasting is a safe way to move you past a plateau, whether you're shaking up your body or shaking up your mind.


In my experience, there are a couple types of plateaus one can reach:

1) the physical plateau - this is where you are doing everything per usual and not losing weight. For me, a change in diet kick starts the body into more weight loss. Examples I've done to shake up my physical plateaus are: moving to an 8-hour eating window; eliminating a food group; eating 2 protein shakes & 1 meal per day. If you have alot of weight to lose, you need expert help with figuring out how to shake things up in a healthy, safe way. For this help, I will always be grateful to The Evil One who constantly inspires and frightens me with his creative approaches to food plans! And, to make him even more annoying, he won't recommend things to me he hasn't tried himself...no excuses then...dang!

2) the psychological plateau - this is where you're stuck mentally. With me on my weight loss journey, my psychological plateau rears it's ugly head when I go into this "maintenance mode" head space. I test myself by eating different "off limit" foods to see how much I can eat without gaining. This is not good for someone, like me, who still has quite a bit of weight to lose. Psychological plateaus can happen for people in many ways, whether you're having trouble getting your head around losing weight or exercising, or you're stuck in a job you hate or you're just stuck in life. They aren't fun and, quite frankly, I think they are harder to overcome than the physical plateaus.

Admittedly, a fast may not be for everyone. What I do know is that it is something for me. Remember how I said that my definition of "normal eating" had really been shaken up? Well, fasting is likely to become part of my eating regime. I'd like to think of it as a tool in my weight management tool chest, like protein shakes and exercise.

So, what was it like? Hmmm....not so bad, really.

I thought I was gonna be able to have lots of stories for an inspirational and hilarious blog, but alas! It was kind of boring actually. I experienced lots of things like...being dopey, unfocused, really low energy. It's actually hard for me to type this blog because my hands are a bit shakey and I've had to correct more spelling mistakes than usual, but other than that, it's all good. Well, there was incident at the Long Branch GO station where I almost French-kissed a guy who was eating a Hall's cough drop, but I resisted so the only drama that occurred was the drama in my head.

I'm quite proud of the fact that I did it. Proving to myself that I really can do whatever it takes to get to my goal, was necessary to overcome my psychological plateau. Remembering that I am in control of what goes into my mouth (or stays out of my mouth!) is very empowering. I needed something like this fast to push me off that plateau.

So tell me, poppits, what tools do you have in your tool kit to help you get over your psychological plateaus? Trust me, they are within you. Call me if you want help finding them.

Enjoy your weekend!
(a)yt xox
ps--if this blog makes no sense, then blame it on the fact that my body has moved nourishing itself from my fat cells to my brain cells.

Monday, April 5, 2010

The dichotomy of exercise

Well, hedi-ho poppits and greetings from a wonderfully warm Phoenix!

Today is my last, full day in this area, so I'm taking full advantage of the time here by lounging around the pool with sisters Karen & Dianne. This is the first time I will be able to enjoy the walking pool in Sun City I have heard so much about. Karen, Dianne & Rita love it, so I will experience it today. It's already 70 degrees Farenheit here and it's only 9:30...ah....vitamin D, here I come!!!

It's been a good week for me. John & I did three hikes, and yes, F-bombs abounded for me. It was a challenging hike because the terrain was rough (mostly rocks) and there were big rocks to climb - all great prep for the Inca Trail. While a part of me appreciated having the opportunity to see how well I could do, a bigger part of me cursed my brother for dragging my butt on this hike - like it was all his fault! Mostly it was when I slipped or fell and seriously bruised my thumb when the cursing occurred. See, that's the thing about exercise and me. On the one hand, my logical side understands the great value I receive from exercise - building the muscles, burning the fat, reducing the jiggling of the jiggly bits...I get it! However, when I am going down a large hill, building momentum because of how steep it is and catch my toe on a rock, it's hard for me to see any logic when I'm about to kiss a giant, jagged rock. Know what I'm sayin'?!? It's the F-bomb release that helps me. Of course, I wish I wasn't so profane and that I could say "Gosh" or "oh dear" as I'm tumbling towards the rock, but alas! I can not....good to know about me. If you get embarassed by the use of profanity, I'm probably NOT the person you want to be exercising with. All good learning...

I've been chatting up my sibs here about the value of exercise and dieting, especially in our family. Our genes are riddled with problems on both sides...diabetes, high blood pressure, heart disease..yada-yada...I'm really glad they are exercising, but I've realized that for me to maintain this body (or my smaller body), I simply can not go back to being sedentary. My brother is finding all kinds of fun ways to exercise - roller skating, trapezing, rock climbing, swimming. It's got me thinking that I will want to investigate other, fun ways of keeping fit. Yoga is a good one for me. I'll probably continue to do my hikes, but what else can I do?!?

Well poppits, the sky's the limit for me now! So I just need to be creative and get busy! I think I need to dust off my bike that's been sitting in the storage room for a year and take it for a test run. I'm 40 lbs. lighter than the last time I rode it, so that's gotta help, right? And I think I'll make my exercise "bucket list". It will be made up of all the things-I've-always-wanted-to-do-but-was-afraid-I'd-look-funny-doing-it, like...zip-lining over the rain forest...and hiking the Grand Canyon...and snorkelling...and riding naked in a convertible with George Clooney...oh wait! That's not exercise...:) Anyway, I think you get my point.

So, poppits, if you were to create your own things-you've-wanted-to-do-but-were-afraid-people-would-laugh-at-you "bucket list", what would YOU put on it? More importantly, what would it take for you to start crossing things off that list?!?

Signing off to find a convertible...
(a) yt xox

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Body image - oie!!

Hi everyone! Greetings on this dull and rainy Sunday afternoon.

I am heading to the sunshine and warm temperatures of Phoenix Wednesday, which I'm very excited about! In preparation for the glorious weather, I went bathing suit shopping. Falling out of the suits I had was not an option for me.

Now, it is a known fact that no matter how skinny, fat or perfect your body, EVERY woman hates shopping for bathing suits. It's the idea of seeing ALOT of your pasty white body in harsh, bright lights that makes the experience so dreadful. And that's not even taking into consideration the added layer of complexities known as cellulite, flab or unwanted-and-previously-unseen body hair...'nuf said. Suffice it to say that this kind of shopping is NOT a good time.

While I was stuffing myself into the latest fashions of swimming attire, I did a good assessment of my "new" body. Overall? "Not bad", I'd say, but my body has taken a toll for being so overweight for all of my life. Actually, I believe the medical term is "morbidly obese"....nice, isn't it? You'd think that categorization alone would be motivating enough for me to lose weight. Bad enough I had to worry about whether or not a seat belt would fit me, but I had to deal with knowing I was "deathly fat"...yeesh! What other humiliation could I face?!?

But I digress. And that was the "old" me and the "new" me was now standing in front of the mirror, checking myself out in the bathing suit...

Let's start at the top...face, much thinner ... double chin, gone...good shoulder definition (exact words from my nephew the trainer)... arms, pretty good definition, the smallest they've ever been, but, truthfully, the upper arms will benefit from some more weight and fat loss.

On to the mid-section...I can actually ab muscle definition...now I don't have a six pack...more like a two pack...but the muscles are there and I'm very proud of that. I actually have a waist now and curves...who knew?!? Area of opportunity...like the arms, the tummy will need to shed some more weight and fat...no place to go but down!

OK, bum...I can actually feel the bones in my bum when Nadia asks us to sit on them in yoga. That's pretty cool! Legs...I can definitely see the muscles in my legs and feel my knee bones...awesome! More weight and fat loss for the legs, though, but it's all good and trending in the right direction.

I can feel my spine, ribs and hip bones and see my collar and cheek bones. This is progress. So, as I've been scrutinizing myself with an eye that is trying to be objective, I think "Good job. Keep it up. And if you need a little nip & tuck at the end of it, so be it!"

For the female human population, body image is a very touchy issue. Because of my weight, I've never thought I could be attractive. And hearing the words, "but you've got such a pretty face" doesn't really help, for the record. We are our harshest critic, and I certainly have been very harsh on myself. That's why, when I looked in the mirror this time and said "not so bad", it felt great! Is my body perfect? Uh, no! But it's healthy, active and strong. Realistically, I can't be the size that I was for so many years and expect to slim down into a fat-free body. It just doesn't happen that way. The Evil One says that "it's all about looking good naked". He's right. I guess the definition of "good" is subjective. I'm just grateful to be looking at a slimmer, healthier me.

So tell me something, poppits, what do YOU say when you look in the mirror? If it's something negative, promise me that, tomorrow, you will find at least TWO things you like about yourself when you're naked. Sound weird? Try it, you'll like it...

Here's hopin' for a GREAT bikini summer!
(a)yt xox

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Exercise or ... the flu?

Greetings and salutations from a sneezy & sniffling me!

This me, I'm happy to say is a significant improvement from the chills-fever-even-my-teeth-ache me that was two days ago. Ya know, I've always thought of myself as a healthy person, but this is the 3rd time I've had some kind of bug this flu season and, quite frankly, it's getting annoying! Of course, within the first 3 days of the week, I encountered at least 4 people who were sick, so I'm guessing that had something to do with it.

I went to yoga Wednesday night, per usual, with Nadia the ex-cop-turned-yoga-meister. Seriously, she's an ex-cop. Now I've sung the praises of Nadia a few times to you and I still think she rocks. However, this past Wednesday we were actually jumping. That's right, JUM-PING! As I'm flopping around on my mat, I'm thinking "isn't yoga supposed to be relaxing?" Lemme tell you, I felt no sense of relaxation...not as I was jumping...not as I laid on the mat with a big, ole wooden block in my back...not as I swung my left butt cheek up the wall gripping on to two ropes for dear life....not at any time. My objective for yoga was to build up my muscle strength, beyond the weights that I'm doing with The Evil One. Imagine my surprise when we had some cardio thrown into the mix. Nadia was all Ms-happy-to-be-showing-us-something-different and I was all Ms-grumpy-because-I-was-sweating-and-could-hear-my-flab-floppin....clearly we were on different pages. Anyway, I survived, even the wooden block between my shoulder blades only to come down with some kinda virus that took me out all day Thursday and most of Friday. Poor me, really...

My weight routine has been shaken up a bit too. It has not been a good week for me, dang it! The Evil One has introduced TWO torture tools into my routine:

Torture tool #1 - a 15 lb. bar that I must hold over my head as I do my squats. Fortunately, my bum doesn't have to touch the bench...yet...but the bench is still under me. NOW I hear Werner yelling..."keep your elbows locked"(because they buckle from the weight of the bar)..."head up" (because the arm buckling causes me to lean forward, thereby lowering my head)..."keep you back straight" (because I'm leaning forward). Do you see the vicious circle I'm in?!? It's so unfair and, really, I get no sympathy.

Torture tool #2 - the leg press. Oh, not your-ordinary-everyday kinda leg press. No, this one is where you're lying awkwardly on your back with your legs up in the air. As the weights depresses, your legs come buckling down towards your stomach. It's one of the few times I'm grateful I still have some of my stomach for the protection, otherwise, I'd be pulling steel and broken knee bones out of my mouth. And by the way, if you have even a hint of body gas, it's gonna come out...if ya know what I mean. Just another thing for me to worry about for my next workout...yeesh!

I know, I'm kinda cranky and a little whiny (kinda? a little?), but it hasn't been a good week for me, poppits. I'm just sick and tired of being sick & tired, I guess. So....enough of the grumbling....

Looking at possibilities instead of limitations I say....

* Bring on that 15lb. bar. Soon I'll be be squatting with my elbows locked, head up and bum touching the bench!

* leg press, schmeg press...I won't need my stinkin' belly for protection 'cuz I'll be pressing with legs that could support a truck...arr, arr, arr....

* jumpin' in yoga? Well, ok, that one is still gonna be challenging to do ... but I love a challenge, right?!?

Tomorrow I hike with the Inca Chicks. Only it's a series of climbing stairs. I should be used to this, right? So why am I so nervous?!?

What challenge will YOU take on for the week, poppits?!? Whatever it is, remember I'm right there with ya!
(a) yt xox

ps--tried some sour cream & hemp flavoured Kale chips...mmmm....NOT!!!

Sunday, March 14, 2010

The power of objectivity

Hallooooooo!!!

Greetings, once again, from my boudoir where I'm typin' at 'cha on Sunday night. What a weekend it's been...rainy, windy and not quite fun. Perfect couch potato weekend, I must say. Fortunately, I resisted the temptation and did a workout on both days, since I couldn't get a hike in today. Of course, I did manage to slip in some TV watching for a bit of time..tee hee...

So, let me catch you up on my past week. Truth be told, poppits, it wasn't that fun for me. I have been feeling cranky, stressed and out of sorts for a few weeks now, but this past week was the worst. In a nutshell, I was having what boiled down to a MAJOR crisis of faith for me. Remember that "Leap of Faith" I'd taken back in January 2009? The one that had me soaring off the mountain top landing safely on the padded cushion at the bottom of the mountain? Well, I found myself back on a ledge, freaking out over alot of things....like money, like gaining 1.6 lbs., like questioning my career and life path...blah, blah, blah! Too many things freaking me out to elaborate! Suffice it to say, I was NOT at my best.

Until I had a couple of really good conversations Friday...

Conversation #1 was with my friend, Duane, who's observations were sensitive, compassionate and bang on! He has this way of looking at you and knowing things aren't right. He's done that before, but Friday was different because he wasn't letting me off the hook..which is what I needed. His gentle prodding allowed me to actually talk about my issues, which helped. Quite frankly, he opened the flood gates for ...

Conversation #2 with Elizabeth, my mentor coach and friend. And by "flood gates", I mean sobbing-nose-running-eye-puffy-boo-hooing-like-a-baby flood gates. It wasn't pretty and I'm glad our SKYPE conversation didn't have video. Elizabeth helped me to really name my concern and, through her coaching expertise and genuine concern, guided me to the realization that IT'S OK for me to have fears and stress and anger. Heck! I didn't even realize I was angry until Elizabeth made the observation...yeesh! That explains why I almost took down the poor construction guy who was holding up traffic. I mean, was it his fault I was cutting it close to get the GO Train and there were no parking spots at the station?!?

ANYWAY, when I spoke to Elizabeth, I was one big tormented ball of fear and anger. Poor thing! She got an earful! But at the end of the conversation, I was feeling closer to my old self than I'd been feeling in a while. When I hung up with Elizabeth, I had said that I'd moved closer to the edge of the mountain and had 1/2 of my left foot off the ledge.

So, what did Duane & Elizabeth do? They provided a safe space for me to vent anger and express fears. They also provided objectivity around the conversation. To be truthful, I didn't like feeling the way I was, but I recognize it's normal, and part of the journey I am on. Heck! I can't be all happy and positive ALL the time, can I?!?

So what's the learning for me here? Hmmm.....
- anyone experiencing transition in their life will go run the gamit of emotions at some point. It's natural and part of the process. Go with it, but recognize when you've been in the darkness for too long. Remember there are people who love you and want you to come outside and play with them.

- when you have caring, intuitive, supportive friends in your life, you've got it all!

- It's ok not to be happy & optimistic all the freakin' time! Clearly my food cravings and imaginative death scenes for The Evil One have proven one can not be "Sister Mary Sunshine" all the time...right?!?

- If you get mad at God, He doesn't mind.

- If you get mad at the innocent construction worker trying to protect you from the possibility of a giant crane falling on your car and crushing you, he'll flip you off.

Alrighteythen, here I go, poppits. I'm back up against the wall of the mountain. This time, however, it's only so I can get a running start to my leap off ledge.


!!!!! WAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO !!!!!!!

(a) yt xox

Saturday, March 6, 2010

What is your definition of "success"?

Hola!

What a FAB day I'm staring at...sunshine, not a cloud in the sky. I'm so down with the Vitamin D!!

OK, so I've been thinking ALOT about how I'm defining success for my health journey. Oh sure, the declining numbers on the scale and the shrinking clothes size certainly help. However, for me, this journey has been about feeling better, physically and mentally, about myself. I'm finding this "feeling better" is translating into so many different things. Like....

- when I go through the turnstiles on the subway, my bum no longer touches the sides of the turnstile.

- not overflowing onto the next person's seat when I watch a movie or go to the live theatre

- Crossing my legs without having to hook my foot onto something for support

See where I'm going with this? Let's be clear, I really enjoy having a normal blood pressure and blood tests that no longer threaten diabetes and/or cholesterol problems. However, it's the little things that affect my life and reduce my embarrassment that really get my mojo going.

There was a time, when I was at my highest weight and size (size 26, btw), traveling for business. On one horrific flight, I actually couldn't do up the seat belt. I was just short of connecting. After much struggle and feeling the humiliation of having everyone watch my struggle (I was in an aisle seat), I had to get up and ask the flight attendant for an extension. It was absolutely humiliating for me. It only happened once, but I remember the fear I faced every time I sat down on an airplane, wondering if the seat belt was gonna fit me. So, for me, success is being able to wear the seat belt AND have extra length for good measure!

Here's the deal....if I can do this, so can you. When I first started on this journey, my weight, size and health issues were OVERWHELMING...like I'd never be able to see the end. And now? I'm in the home stretch of achieving my Machu Picchu goal. It's been a long time coming and, well, I've shared the struggles that I faced...STILL face...but it's worth it.

So I ask you, poppits, what is your definition of success...and how badly do you want it?!? 'Cuz whether or not you believe it, it really is within you to achieve. Trust me on this. You have everything you need to reach your goal. And when you don't feel you can pull it off, you have resources you can call upon to remind you. One of those resources is ME...just call me...seriously....

I've got a spring in my step and joy in my heart as I head out to meet someone for coffee. How are you feeling, poppit?!?
(a) yt xox