Tuesday, April 27, 2010

It IS possible to slap yourself around

for the record....

OK, so I fessed up in an earlier blog to not eating properly, like I was testing myself to see just how much of the wrong foods I could eat and not get away with gaining weight. Well, I'm up two pounds from my "experimentation" and the official "smack upside the head" happened last night.

OK, so 2 lbs in the scheme of things isn't alot - I hear ya. BUT what this two pounds represents is more significant. Here's what I noticed about myself....

- not only was I eating food I wasn't supposed to be eating, but I also didn't exercise to the same level I was used to doing. I didn't do ANY stairs last week, nor did I do a hike. Considering I've got a HUGE challenge in a little over a week, that is not a good thing!

- I realized I was far more anxious about my upcoming adventure to Machu Picchu then I was willing to acknowledge. I am VERY nervous about this climb...will I be able to make it? Will I hurt myself? Will my toes fall off or, even worse, will I experience altitude sickness and not be able to even go on the hike?!?

I've been feeling WAY overwhelmed and not acknowledging it. So, here's me acknowledging it....

And here's me telling myself to "suck it up, sister"! Seriously I am SO READY for this hike. And even if I'm not, what am I gonna do with a week to go?!? Yeesh!

I was talking to one of the trainers where I work. His name is Justin and he's from Ireland and has done many crazy-ass adventures. Today he said to me that fear is good as it keeps us alive. Facing our fears is energizing and positive. This from a guy who camped out in hurricane-ridden locations and in between mountains during the dead of winter. Easy for him to say as he probably has no fear! But his point is valid.

I recognize this fear in me. It's the same fear I had just before co-hosting the Child Find Donor Recognition night...and the fear I had just before I did my workshop for the first time. It's a good, nervous fear that keeps me on my toes and ready for anything to occur. When I put this fear into perspective, it helped me to realize that I needed to keep myself focused on what was important to me - eating healthy and exercising. That's when I threw out all of the tempting/yummy foods in my house and snapped out of it!

So, I'm back to two protein shakes and a sensible meal with protein every day. I look forward to the trip, that is just around the corner. No longer am I afraid - well, at 4:40 today I am not afraid. I'm looking forward to finishing the week with control over my eating and exercising like in the crazy fiendish way to which I've become accustomed, including an 18KM hike tomorrow with Marta, my tent mate.

I've realized there are two kinds of fears - the kind that debilitate you and the kind that motivate you. The ones that motivate you, like the ones I'm facing about this trip, push you beyond your comfort zone and scare the bejeebies out of you. These, in my opinion, are the ones that push us to a higher level of greatness.

So tell me, poppits, what fears motivate you? What are you doing to embrace them?!? I say strap a saddle on those fears, climb up and yell "GIDDEE UP!!!"
(a)yt xox

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Escapism - what does it really mean?

Well, here I sit snug-as-a-bug in my bed, having just completed a 7KM walk in one hour. I don't know how that compares to others, but I sure felt like I was clippin' along! It helped to have rockin' good music to listen to!

Truth be told? I HAD to walk to escape myself. It's true, poppits. I have been eating anything that is not nailed down...and then some! I seemed to have lost control of myself for the past week-ish, so my last resort was to just leave. You know you're in trouble when the only way to stop eating is to leave your house (and fridge) for an hour. And the thing is, I've been eating weird stuff...like Kale chips. Know what those are? Dehydrated kale with cheese-like substance sprinkled on them. Honestly, where's the attraction there, and yet, I feel I can't live without them. Oh, and these cocoa nibs...not chocolate nibs, 'cuz those would make sense. No, the craving I have are for these cocoa nibs from some South American country where, apparently, sugar is non-existent. To put them in perspective? The Evil One snacks on these things. They taste like cardboard and yet, I have an addiction.

Really, I need to give my head a shake. The thing is, they lead to other cravings like...Easter candy that is 75% off at Shoppers Drug Mart...and Venti Vanilla Lattes at Starbucks...and "If I Had A Million Flavours" Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream on sale at Loblaws...see where this is going?!?

111 I'VE FALLEN AND I CAN'T GET UP !!!

I wish someone would invent a clapper whereby you clap and your mouth is glued shut for an hour...or a year...


On the positive side, I haven't gained any weight, but I haven't lost any either. I'm plateaued, for the love of God. And it's something I can totally control myself...

And so, I walked tonight...good for me. This would be the kind of escapism that is a good thing. Like watching Glee when your home is a disaster area. It's ok not to do housework then because it is, after all, Glee.

On the positive side, I came home so energized from the walk that I didn't feel like eating anything, so that's a good thing. I suppose there are worse ways to handle an eating frenzy than to exercise, right?!?

Movin' on....

Lots of good stuff happening. First of all, I handed in my practicum binder Wednesday, which means another MAJOR chapter of my coaching certification is done. For the record, this binder was an accumulation of close to one year's worth of work, including all my journalling, my Adler work assignments and my vision as a coach. It was alot of work and something I am quite proud of, to be truthful.

I'm still plugging away for The Inca Trail preparation. Now that my practicum binder is in, I can focus on all of the things I haven't been doing to prepare for the trip - YOWZA! So much to do and time is ticking away...it's all good, though. At the end of the day, I'm getting on the plane, with or without my No Rinse Shampoo!

The exercising is going well. I broke my goal of 2,000 steps, doing 2,100 last week. That was quite exciting, although quite exhausting! Admittedly, running steps isn't the funnest of exercises, but it's great preparation. Next week I'm hiking with a couple of The Inca Chicks. We're going to hike for 8 hours. God help me!

I had two really cool incidents happen this week:
- first one occurred as I was walking down the stairs at the Bloor/Yonge subway stop. A cranky old man told me to "move my skinny ass down the stairs". Apparently he didn't notice all the people moving slowly ahead of me. But that didn't matter. I wanted to French kiss him on the spot but thankfully, sanity prevailed.

- I went to see my doctor for a prescription for my altitude sickness meds. She said "oh my. I would not have recognized you. It must be all that good Lebanese food you're eating." I didn't have the heart to tell her it was fasting and other crazy ass tactics that got me to where I am. Just wait for the next phase, sister!!!

Well, it's time to sign off, poppits. I'm so excited. I just bought the latest book by friend and FAB author, Kathy Buckworth. If you recall, Kathy is the one who wrote The Blackberry Diaries. This latest book is titled, "Shut Up and Eat! Tales of chicken, children and chardonnay" and promises to be equally funny. If you're up for a good, funny read, buy the book and support a friend. I promise you, you won't regret it!

G'night and here's hoping your escapes are fun and productive!!
(a)yt xox

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

!! DING !! Twitch, twitch...

OK, that's the sound of the lightbulb going off in my head after realizing that, this time next month, I will be on Day 3 of The Inca Trail.

"Twitch, twitch" is what my left eye is doing right now.

OH-MA-GAWD!!! I am sooooo unprepared for this trip...I need to get my shots, finish off my shopping, decide on the right protein bar, practice peeing in the bushes...do you see why I'm stressed?!? Oh, and by the way, I have a Practicum binder to hand in on the 22nd...

!!!!!! CALGON, TAKE ME AWAY !!!!!

OK, drama over and I'm back....

All kidding aside, I'm getting a little freaked out. Although I've done really well so far, I'm still about 20 lbs from where I wanted to be - not fun! I might be able to get 10 lbs off, but I'm thinkin' the extra 10 will have to come later...unless...I can get my head wrapped around some drastic food reduction measures like a couple of days of only protein shakes..doable...a few more fasting days ... also doable. Or perhaps I should just close my pie hole and stop eating food that isn't on my list! Seriously, it's all within my control. All I need to do is shut my mouth!!

On the exercise front, tonight is the first time in a long time where every muscle in my body is screaming in agony. Today was a good workout! I did squats, without the bench upon which my bum must touch. Instead, there was no bench and I went lower...na-na, na-na, poo-poo! It helped that I didn't have to carry that friggin' 15 lb. bar over my head, I'll admit. Then I did these step ups that made me do one leg at a time and at an elevation I'd never had before. They were quite challenging, but I was so proud of myself for doing them. I had never been able to get that high before.

I felt really proud of myself today. Well, except for the time I lost my balance and almost fell on top of The Evil One. That would've been karmaic, but alas! It didn't happen...

So, now that I'm typing here, I've sorta talked myself away from the ledge a little bit. Physically, I'm doing pretty well and seeing great progression in my stair climbing and my workouts with Werner. That makes me feel better about my state of readiness. I'll feel even better when I take off another 10-15 lbs. before I go. It will just make things easier.

OK, feeling a bit better, poppits...thanx for reading while I freaked out!

I went back and took a boo at some of the older blogs. Ah, "the good, old days"...when I could eat all the protein and nuts I wanted to eat with no guilt from The Evil One...when I took Epsom salt baths after EVERY workout (woosie!)...when I actually wanted to cause bodily harm to someone eating Dairy Queen...oh wait! That was just yesterday! But seriously, it was a great way for me to really see the progression I've made since Feb. of last year. Here are a few highlights:

- my desire to kill innocent, in-the-wrong-place-eating-the-wrong-thing people has decreased significantly
- I haven't walked through Laura Secord with drool on my chin in a while
- I no longer force myself to sit in front of the Dairy Queen Waffle Sundae posters as a sado-masochistic torture tactic

I have now banned myself from both Planet Organic AND Whole Foods, but that's just a little thing, right?!? I have made progress, right?!?


Well poppits, it's time to sign off and get my beauty rest. I will ask you this:

If you were to go back and review this past year, what are you most proud of having achieved?

Noodle it, poppits. I'm sure your list of achievements would be as long as your arm!!

Bask in the cocoon of your success!!
(a) yt

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Life in the fasting lane

Halllooooo from a very sunny-but-cold Mississauga! I'm sitting in my living room again - nice to be back from Phoenix. Of course, seeing the sunshine helps with the transition!

Well, it's 9:00 am Saturday morning, making it the 39th hour of fasting for me. Yes, that's right. As of Thursday evening, 6:00 pm, I have consumed nothing but the following:
- water with lemon
- herbal tea
- more water with lemon
- hot water with lemon
- CALM (Magnesium powder) with hot water

I'm celebrating now by taking my first sip of coffee - no milk but with the blessed Stevia! It feels like heaven to put something into my mouth that has flavour! Food will come later when I meet an old friend for brunch.

So why did I do this? Mostly to determine if I really had the wherewithall to actually do it...and I do! Yeah for me!! Oh, and because The Evil One doubted that I could actually do it. He didn't say it, but I saw the "I'll believe it when I see it" look in his eyes that, quite frankly, ticked me off. Talk about "motivation"...

Now before some of you roll your eyeballs permanently into your head at the thought of my crazy tactics, think about this...

- lots of naturopaths recommend a weekly (or at least monthly) "cleanse". You can do it with natural products that run through you like a steam ship or you can do it by fasting. If, nay, WHEN I do this again, I will add some fibre to the water and really clean out my system. It's safe and natural.

- a reminder, again, that symptoms of starvation don't kick in until at least 48 hours with no food. So the good news is that my body is feeding off itself and believe me, there is still plenty of nourishment left for it to enjoy!

- Fasting is a safe way to move you past a plateau, whether you're shaking up your body or shaking up your mind.


In my experience, there are a couple types of plateaus one can reach:

1) the physical plateau - this is where you are doing everything per usual and not losing weight. For me, a change in diet kick starts the body into more weight loss. Examples I've done to shake up my physical plateaus are: moving to an 8-hour eating window; eliminating a food group; eating 2 protein shakes & 1 meal per day. If you have alot of weight to lose, you need expert help with figuring out how to shake things up in a healthy, safe way. For this help, I will always be grateful to The Evil One who constantly inspires and frightens me with his creative approaches to food plans! And, to make him even more annoying, he won't recommend things to me he hasn't tried himself...no excuses then...dang!

2) the psychological plateau - this is where you're stuck mentally. With me on my weight loss journey, my psychological plateau rears it's ugly head when I go into this "maintenance mode" head space. I test myself by eating different "off limit" foods to see how much I can eat without gaining. This is not good for someone, like me, who still has quite a bit of weight to lose. Psychological plateaus can happen for people in many ways, whether you're having trouble getting your head around losing weight or exercising, or you're stuck in a job you hate or you're just stuck in life. They aren't fun and, quite frankly, I think they are harder to overcome than the physical plateaus.

Admittedly, a fast may not be for everyone. What I do know is that it is something for me. Remember how I said that my definition of "normal eating" had really been shaken up? Well, fasting is likely to become part of my eating regime. I'd like to think of it as a tool in my weight management tool chest, like protein shakes and exercise.

So, what was it like? Hmmm....not so bad, really.

I thought I was gonna be able to have lots of stories for an inspirational and hilarious blog, but alas! It was kind of boring actually. I experienced lots of things like...being dopey, unfocused, really low energy. It's actually hard for me to type this blog because my hands are a bit shakey and I've had to correct more spelling mistakes than usual, but other than that, it's all good. Well, there was incident at the Long Branch GO station where I almost French-kissed a guy who was eating a Hall's cough drop, but I resisted so the only drama that occurred was the drama in my head.

I'm quite proud of the fact that I did it. Proving to myself that I really can do whatever it takes to get to my goal, was necessary to overcome my psychological plateau. Remembering that I am in control of what goes into my mouth (or stays out of my mouth!) is very empowering. I needed something like this fast to push me off that plateau.

So tell me, poppits, what tools do you have in your tool kit to help you get over your psychological plateaus? Trust me, they are within you. Call me if you want help finding them.

Enjoy your weekend!
(a)yt xox
ps--if this blog makes no sense, then blame it on the fact that my body has moved nourishing itself from my fat cells to my brain cells.

Monday, April 5, 2010

The dichotomy of exercise

Well, hedi-ho poppits and greetings from a wonderfully warm Phoenix!

Today is my last, full day in this area, so I'm taking full advantage of the time here by lounging around the pool with sisters Karen & Dianne. This is the first time I will be able to enjoy the walking pool in Sun City I have heard so much about. Karen, Dianne & Rita love it, so I will experience it today. It's already 70 degrees Farenheit here and it's only 9:30...ah....vitamin D, here I come!!!

It's been a good week for me. John & I did three hikes, and yes, F-bombs abounded for me. It was a challenging hike because the terrain was rough (mostly rocks) and there were big rocks to climb - all great prep for the Inca Trail. While a part of me appreciated having the opportunity to see how well I could do, a bigger part of me cursed my brother for dragging my butt on this hike - like it was all his fault! Mostly it was when I slipped or fell and seriously bruised my thumb when the cursing occurred. See, that's the thing about exercise and me. On the one hand, my logical side understands the great value I receive from exercise - building the muscles, burning the fat, reducing the jiggling of the jiggly bits...I get it! However, when I am going down a large hill, building momentum because of how steep it is and catch my toe on a rock, it's hard for me to see any logic when I'm about to kiss a giant, jagged rock. Know what I'm sayin'?!? It's the F-bomb release that helps me. Of course, I wish I wasn't so profane and that I could say "Gosh" or "oh dear" as I'm tumbling towards the rock, but alas! I can not....good to know about me. If you get embarassed by the use of profanity, I'm probably NOT the person you want to be exercising with. All good learning...

I've been chatting up my sibs here about the value of exercise and dieting, especially in our family. Our genes are riddled with problems on both sides...diabetes, high blood pressure, heart disease..yada-yada...I'm really glad they are exercising, but I've realized that for me to maintain this body (or my smaller body), I simply can not go back to being sedentary. My brother is finding all kinds of fun ways to exercise - roller skating, trapezing, rock climbing, swimming. It's got me thinking that I will want to investigate other, fun ways of keeping fit. Yoga is a good one for me. I'll probably continue to do my hikes, but what else can I do?!?

Well poppits, the sky's the limit for me now! So I just need to be creative and get busy! I think I need to dust off my bike that's been sitting in the storage room for a year and take it for a test run. I'm 40 lbs. lighter than the last time I rode it, so that's gotta help, right? And I think I'll make my exercise "bucket list". It will be made up of all the things-I've-always-wanted-to-do-but-was-afraid-I'd-look-funny-doing-it, like...zip-lining over the rain forest...and hiking the Grand Canyon...and snorkelling...and riding naked in a convertible with George Clooney...oh wait! That's not exercise...:) Anyway, I think you get my point.

So, poppits, if you were to create your own things-you've-wanted-to-do-but-were-afraid-people-would-laugh-at-you "bucket list", what would YOU put on it? More importantly, what would it take for you to start crossing things off that list?!?

Signing off to find a convertible...
(a) yt xox