Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Asking for help

Sitting in a Starbucks waiting for my car to get work done and thinking about the concept of help. Trust me, this is not a random thought sprung on me because of an incident at the Starbucks. Here's where I'm coming from...

Last night I joined Weight Watchers. There's a new "chapter" about 3KM from where I live (right next to a Baskin Robbins, btw - no irony there!). They have opening deals, so I thought I'd sign up and get back on track. It's time.

ANYWAY...the topic for last night's discussion was "Asking for help". Marlene, the facilitator, asked the question...if we could ask for help, what would we ask for and who would we ask for it from? When we all looked at her like deers in headlights, she took a step back and asked..."why is it so difficult for us to ask for help?"

Ooooohhhh.....good question!!!

While I'm the first one there for anyone who needs help, it's VERY difficult for me to ask for help myself. And, based upon the responses from last night's group, I'm not the only one who faces this challenge. Here's what some of the responses were:

- asking for help admits to failure
- asking for help exposes a vulnerability that isn't always comfortable to admit
- asking for help surrenders independence
- asking for help makes you dependent on others

YOWZA!! Really? Does asking for help really mean all of the above? It made me think about times when I actually DID ask for help and what REALLY happened. Let's do this checklist...

- Did I feel I failed? Not really. It was more like I just didn't know what to do next and realized I couldn't do this alone anymore. Admitting I don't know everything is a good dose of reality!

- Was I vulnerable? Oh yeah! I felt a little like I was taking another leap of faith. Only this time it was jumping off the ledge into the arms of someone, trusting they would catch me. And what did the person to whom I asked for help do with that vulnerability? Nothing really...didn't acknowledge it or embrace it or anything. Just helped...without question or judgment or drama. Which, btw, was the perfect reaction for me!

- Did I surrender independence? DARN TOOTIN'!! And that was a good thing! What makes me think I'm perfect enough to take care of EVERYTHING in my life?!? While I'd like to THINK I'm Wonder Woman, I'm not ... hello?!?

- Did I become dependent on others? For this particular situation, yes. And guess what? It worked!!

Here's the deal, poppits. No one can go alone in this world. I don't think we're meant to be completely self-sufficient for everything. Everyone needs some help, even if it's for an explanation of "Venti" vs. "Grande". Oh, and think about a time when you were able to help someone who needed help...how did you feel when you knew you COULD help him/her? Pretty good, eh?

So the next time you're stuck with something, ask yourself..."Who can help me with this?" and seek out that help. You'll feel better and you'll actually give pleasure to someone else.

Taking my own advice, I'm about to ask for help in refilling my Venti Pike Place coffee!

Here's hoping your leaps of faith and asks for help will find you jumping into the arms of Ryan Reynolds...or Scarlett Johannson ... or both! Hey! I'm not here to judge!
(a)yt xoxo

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Star gazing in Toronto

Hello all!

I'm taking a break from the blinding flashes of the paparazzi and the screams of the fans to touch base with you. That's right! The Toronto International Film Festival is in town and Yours Truly has been hanging about this week. For those of you who know me, you know that I am a HUGE fan of the glitz & glamor of celebrities, as well as an avid movie fan. TIFF is just a glorious combination of the two!

To be truthful, the star gazing addiction and the frenzy of "must get the best photo" is a new phenomena for me. When I lived in Los Angeles, it was not a big deal to see celebrities hanging about. So, where my addiction to the glamor has come from is beyond me. But I have to tell you, it's kinda over the top. I realized this as I found myself mashed up against complete strangers, waiting to see Edward Norton and Robert DeNiro before their movie, Stone, Friday night. I'm talking feel-the-heartbeat-of-the-person-standing-behind-my-back mashed. Now, the fact that I was in more intimate positions with complete strangers than with past boyfriends was not the disturbing part. What was alarming for me was my reaction when Robert DeNiro showed up and didn't even greet the crowd. Instead of seeing him, I saw the side of the SUV that drove him. I got caught up in the anger of the crowd and found myself yelling things like "Come on, Bobby...give it up for your fans!!" and "Who do you think you are? Al Pacino?!?"

Honestly, can you believe it?!? It wasn't my finest moment. The interesting thing is that I didn't realize just how ridiculous I was behaving until I started to tell some other friends about it. Their "yeah, so what?" attitude gave me good perspective. It helped me to GET A FRIGGIN' GRIP, SISTER!

I kinda vowed that I would control myself and not get so crazily involved in the hype. Fortunately, there weren't many other huge celebrities I was going to see, so the temptation really wasn't there. It was a good dose of reality for me, though.

So, I think I'm back to my "normal" perspective around TIFF. Yeah, it's fun to see celebrities (saw Amy Madigan, Ed Harris & Jennifer Connelly tonight!), but they are human too and are here to enjoy themselves. They like Toronto because the fans are non-intrusive and respectful. My behaviour towards DeNiro was not very respectful, truth be told. I have to retract the rumour I spread on Facebook that says he showed up late for the gala because he had a tummy ache and was found in an embryonic position crying "I want my mommy"..see, not respectful.

In the meantime, I will continue to be grateful for experiencing this for the 12th year in a row, with friends who are able to enjoy the glitz & glam with me. That's the best part! Star gazing is always better with someone!

Remember, poppits, everyone is glamorous in their own way. When you're getting ready for work tomorrow, pull out your finest outfit with your highest heels. Throw on some makeup, curl your hair and walk out the door like you're walking into your own paparazzi party. Believe me, you've got star power, so work it baby, work it!!

I'm signing off and heading to bed now. I need to be fresh for the red carpet!
(a)yt xox