Monday, January 17, 2011

It's easier said than done

Hello again! Greetings from a VERY cold and snowy Mississauga!

Are you feeling a little sad or depressed or upset today? You're not alone. It's the third Monday of January, aka "Blue Monday", the most depressing day of the year. Well, I'm kinda there with you, poppits. Today, out of the blue, I started to get weepy while having coffee with a friend and colleague. Poor guy! I'm sure I freaked him out a little. Although he was quite gracious and kind in his response, it made me wonder just what the HECK was going on!

Admittedly, I've been getting progressively bummed out and nervous about not having a contract on the horizon. It feels like I'm working my network, scanning the job search websites, sending out my resume. Yeesh, I'm even applying for full-time work, which is not where I want to be! But I've been listening to people tell me to "set goals", "develop a plan", "get focused", "work my network"...yada-yada. My work stress has shifted into a personal stress as well. I realized I've been caught up in a vicious circle...
... I don't want to spend money so I don't go out ...
... I don't go out so I don't socialize ...
... I don't socialize so I feel isolated ...
... I feel isolated so I don't reach out ... and so on ...

When I thought about this a little further, I heard the sound of a lightbulb going on above my head! I've seen this cycle before. It's the EXACT same cycle I've witnessed some of my clients going through. It's the same cycle most people experiencing a career or life transition often share.

Wow! Hey! This is a GOOD thing for me to experience, right? I'm earning the right to say "I understand" and actually mean it! I'm getting more amazing experience for my book...or my motivational speech ... or my workshop ... or my Movie of the Week. Right? RIGHT?!?

Maybe it IS good for me, but I'm here to tell you it sucks! This is not a fun position to be in and, while it's giving me great experience and humility and a much needed reality check on just how many new pairs of shoes one actually NEEDS, it really does suck! The fear, the self-loathing, the self-inflicted embarrassment...not fun! And I'm someone with a healthy level of self-confidence! Imagine what this type of transition can do to someone who has a diminished self-esteem....

hmmm.....and there it is. The realization that my situation is not that bad. That I really do have strong, solid resources available to me - most of which reside within myself. And once again I am reminded of my passion, my purpose, my raison d'etre..to help people tap into their strengths so they can reclaim their power.

OK, so suck it up, sister! It's time to end my pity party, get off my bum and follow my own advice. Three tips for surviving transition from "yt's School of Hard Knocks":

1) END THE ISOLATION - Remember your energy source!
Are you a social creature? Do you thrive on human interaction or do you prefer to re-energize by yourself? Either way is ok, as long as you remember to keep a balance. You have to have the right combination of focus and social interaction. Just remember that humankind was not meant to be isolated all the time. If you prefer to be alone, force yourself to get out and mingle - even if it's just a trip to the grocery store or to your local coffee shop. Try and have at least two, human connections a day, whether that's a phone conversation or a face-to-face encounter. If you're like me, a social animal, find a spot where there is human energy around you, but still lets you focus on the tasks you need to accomplish. Starbucks is a great place for me as it has free internet so I can focus on my work (or blogging!) and it's always busy!


2) TAP INTO YOUR CREATIVITY TO PROBLEM SOLVE - Remember not everything is a crisis!
Feeling a little sensitive about your cash flow reduction? Admittedly, a tight budget may mean fewer lunch or dinner meetings. But that doesn't mean you have to stop meeting people altogether! Taking my own advice, I've started meeting people for coffee. If my schedule is flexible, it's easier for people to "fit me in" over a coffee than lunch. Networking over coffee is preferred anyway. And, do I/you really have to stop meeting people at lunch time? No! Who says lunch has to be at a restaurant? It's still possible to have a decent conversation in the food court. And for someone trying to manage what goes into their pie-hole (like me), bringing lunch means I/you have better control over what goes into that meal. OK, so maybe it's a small example, but the point is that a solution to a problem is much easier to find when you look at ALL the resources available to you and approach it with a bit of creativity. Sometimes, the solution is merely to change your mindset.


3) FOCUS ON WHAT IS GOOD IN YOUR LIFE - Remember to celebrate the goodness of you!
Sometimes it's hard to see what is good in your life, especially when you're hit with road blocks at every turn. Believe me, there have been days when I look in the mirror and the only thing I feel I can celebrate is the fact that I remembered to take all my vitamins. During these bleak times, if you can't find something to celebrate, call upon your good friends to help you out. Just ask the question..."so, why do you keep hanging out with me?" That's when you get to see yourself through the eyes of someone who loves you. What a great perspective that is!


OK, so I'm feeling better now. Tomorrow I'm heading into the city with my head held high and looking forward to the possibilities that lie before me. Possibilities I may not be able to see, but know they are out there. LEAP AND THE NET WILL APPEAR!!

What I'm going through is part of my journey, my story. I don't realize it yet, but this experience is instrumental in defining who I am meant to be.

So tell me, poppits, how do you think the journey you are on now is shaping the person you are meant to be?
(a)yt xox

Sunday, January 2, 2011

It's all about "perspective"

Hello again and HAPPY 2011!

Man, what a ride it's been since last I updated this blog. To be honest, I have no idea why I haven't sat down and typed. I've thought about it on MANY occasions, but never really felt like it. I don't know why, but it doesn't matter. I'm here now. BTW, thanks to everyone who sent gentle or smack-me-upside-the-head reminders to start blogging again. I can't tell you how much I appreciate that interest and/or concern!

One theme that keeps running through my head is "the power of perspective". More specifically, how something so simple as a new view can help you see things differently. Here's how I came up with this idea....

I went to Phoenix to spend Christmas with the sibs who are there - my brother, John and sister, Dianne and family. Helping me with perspective was my brother's dog, Pearl. For about four days, Pearl's world had been turned upside down because my bro moved into a new home. Adding to her challenges was me...I just kept hanging about. For anyone who knows a dog, they simply can't resist other people's business and my moving about the house was preventing her from, ya know, sleeping.

One morning, early in the morning, Pearl was in a mellow, "kumbaya" mood as she'd just had her nap interrupted by my getting out of bed and getting a coffee. Since Pearl is not one to let action pass her by, she sidled over to me, pawed at my leg and looked up at me with those "please cuddle me before I die" eyes. Pearl's only agenda items are "fetch" and "food", so when she's in this mellow, snuggly mood, I like to take advantage of it. So, up she came on my lap...which changed Pearl's perspective...and her mood! Now, she could freely see out the window at all the things that were passing her by...like cars...and bicycles...and birds. She perked right up and started barking at anything that moved. New perspective, new energy. All of a sudden she was happy and highly energized, simply because of a change in view. Pearl's reaction to her new view planted a seed with me about the topic of "perspective".

Lately, I've been struggling with many things...regaining my "mojo" to get back on my Journey to Good Health...securing contract work that will help me fund my dream...staying positive when so many people in my life are struggling with SOMETHING! It's a troubled world and my perspective on things seems to get tainted by the dissatisfaction of so many in my life and the bleakness of winter.

So, what the heck am I gonna do about it?!? Let's explore my choices:

1) Continue to wallow in my funk, soaking up the sadness that is all around me and letting it change my whole being....um, NO FLIPPIN' WAY!!


2) Take it one day at a time, seeking out positive things and acknowledging the successes I've had, no matter how big or small they are....hmmm....good start!

3) change my perspective...BINGO!!

I've had some ankle-biter issues that have been dragging me down. So, I've taken stock of the most challenging ones and am going to address them head on. Here's how I'm changing my perspective:

- I am committed to redesigning and revamping my website. What I viewed as "tedious" before, I am now looking at as "fun". I have fresh eyes and I am excited about all that the website CAN be! Rather than look at it as a chore to complete, I am approaching it with a creative eye, embracing that side of me and applying this positive energy to the design and content of the website. Can you feel my positive energy?!?

- I have decided to stop pining for my elusive "mojo" and start getting back on track with small-but-meaningful changes in my behaviour. I know myself well enough to know that ANY reduction in my caloric count will be beneficial. So, I've changed my perspective from "woe is me" to "you go, girl!" and I am taking back the control of my good health. Here are the small steps I'm committing to do:
1) track my calories so I don't exceed 1,600 per day
2) stop eating after 7:00 pm
3) fast one day/week

These are all things I've done before and know that I am capable of doing them again. BTW, it's 4:30 and this is my fast day for the week. I'm hungry and feel a bit low energy, but I'm not dying and I am determined to make it through the night with no food.

Now, about all the negativity that surrounds me. I've changed my perspective on that too. A good friend reminded me that the only thing within my control are my actions and reactions. People are going to feel crappy because they are dealing with some really bad stuff. Does that mean I have to also feel crappy? Not at all! I can choose to be sympathetic without being EMpathetic...coach, listen, advise without getting emotionally attached to the outcome...focus on the good in my life to contrast the negativity that others are experiencing. See what I mean?

Funny, what shifting a perspective can do. Now when I look outside my windows, I no longer just see the clouds in the sky. I can actually see the blue sky BEHIND the clouds!

Tell me, poppits, what can you do to change your perspective?

Glad to be back in the blogging saddle again!
(a)yt xox