Yvonne

It's easier said than done

2011-01-17T12:47:00.000-08:00

Hello again! Greetings from a VERY cold and snowy Mississauga!

Are you feeling a little sad or depressed or upset today? You're not alone. It's the third Monday of January, aka "Blue Monday", the most depressing day of the year. Well, I'm kinda there with you, poppits. Today, out of the blue, I started to get weepy while having coffee with a friend and colleague. Poor guy! I'm sure I freaked him out a little. Although he was quite gracious and kind in his response, it made me wonder just what the HECK was going on!

Admittedly, I've been getting progressively bummed out and nervous about not having a contract on the horizon. It feels like I'm working my network, scanning the job search websites, sending out my resume. Yeesh, I'm even applying for full-time work, which is not where I want to be! But I've been listening to people tell me to "set goals", "develop a plan", "get focused", "work my network"...yada-yada. My work stress has shifted into a personal stress as well. I realized I've been caught up in a vicious circle...
... I don't want to spend money so I don't go out ...
... I don't go out so I don't socialize ...
... I don't socialize so I feel isolated ...
... I feel isolated so I don't reach out ... and so on ...

When I thought about this a little further, I heard the sound of a lightbulb going on above my head! I've seen this cycle before. It's the EXACT same cycle I've witnessed some of my clients going through. It's the same cycle most people experiencing a career or life transition often share.

Wow! Hey! This is a GOOD thing for me to experience, right? I'm earning the right to say "I understand" and actually mean it! I'm getting more amazing experience for my book...or my motivational speech ... or my workshop ... or my Movie of the Week. Right? RIGHT?!?

Maybe it IS good for me, but I'm here to tell you it sucks! This is not a fun position to be in and, while it's giving me great experience and humility and a much needed reality check on just how many new pairs of shoes one actually NEEDS, it really does suck! The fear, the self-loathing, the self-inflicted embarrassment...not fun! And I'm someone with a healthy level of self-confidence! Imagine what this type of transition can do to someone who has a diminished self-esteem....

hmmm.....and there it is. The realization that my situation is not that bad. That I really do have strong, solid resources available to me - most of which reside within myself. And once again I am reminded of my passion, my purpose, my raison d'etre..to help people tap into their strengths so they can reclaim their power.

OK, so suck it up, sister! It's time to end my pity party, get off my bum and follow my own advice. Three tips for surviving transition from "yt's School of Hard Knocks":

1) END THE ISOLATION - Remember your energy source!
Are you a social creature? Do you thrive on human interaction or do you prefer to re-energize by yourself? Either way is ok, as long as you remember to keep a balance. You have to have the right combination of focus and social interaction. Just remember that humankind was not meant to be isolated all the time. If you prefer to be alone, force yourself to get out and mingle - even if it's just a trip to the grocery store or to your local coffee shop. Try and have at least two, human connections a day, whether that's a phone conversation or a face-to-face encounter. If you're like me, a social animal, find a spot where there is human energy around you, but still lets you focus on the tasks you need to accomplish. Starbucks is a great place for me as it has free internet so I can focus on my work (or blogging!) and it's always busy!

2) TAP INTO YOUR CREATIVITY TO PROBLEM SOLVE - Remember not everything is a crisis!
Feeling a little sensitive about your cash flow reduction? Admittedly, a tight budget may mean fewer lunch or dinner meetings. But that doesn't mean you have to stop meeting people altogether! Taking my own advice, I've started meeting people for coffee. If my schedule is flexible, it's easier for people to "fit me in" over a coffee than lunch. Networking over coffee is preferred anyway. And, do I/you really have to stop meeting people at lunch time? No! Who says lunch has to be at a restaurant? It's still possible to have a decent conversation in the food court. And for someone trying to manage what goes into their pie-hole (like me), bringing lunch means I/you have better control over what goes into that meal. OK, so maybe it's a small example, but the point is that a solution to a problem is much easier to find when you look at ALL the resources available to you and approach it with a bit of creativity. Sometimes, the solution is merely to change your mindset.

3) FOCUS ON WHAT IS GOOD IN YOUR LIFE - Remember to celebrate the goodness of you!
Sometimes it's hard to see what is good in your life, especially when you're hit with road blocks at every turn. Believe me, there have been days when I look in the mirror and the only thing I feel I can celebrate is the fact that I remembered to take all my vitamins. During these bleak times, if you can't find something to celebrate, call upon your good friends to help you out. Just ask the question..."so, why do you keep hanging out with me?" That's when you get to see yourself through the eyes of someone who loves you. What a great perspective that is!

OK, so I'm feeling better now. Tomorrow I'm heading into the city with my head held high and looking forward to the possibilities that lie before me. Possibilities I may not be able to see, but know they are out there. LEAP AND THE NET WILL APPEAR!!

What I'm going through is part of my journey, my story. I don't realize it yet, but this experience is instrumental in defining who I am meant to be.

So tell me, poppits, how do you think the journey you are on now is shaping the person you are meant to be?
(a)yt xox

It's all about "perspective"

2011-01-02T08:42:00.001-08:00

Hello again and HAPPY 2011!

Man, what a ride it's been since last I updated this blog. To be honest, I have no idea why I haven't sat down and typed. I've thought about it on MANY occasions, but never really felt like it. I don't know why, but it doesn't matter. I'm here now. BTW, thanks to everyone who sent gentle or smack-me-upside-the-head reminders to start blogging again. I can't tell you how much I appreciate that interest and/or concern!

One theme that keeps running through my head is "the power of perspective". More specifically, how something so simple as a new view can help you see things differently. Here's how I came up with this idea....

I went to Phoenix to spend Christmas with the sibs who are there - my brother, John and sister, Dianne and family. Helping me with perspective was my brother's dog, Pearl. For about four days, Pearl's world had been turned upside down because my bro moved into a new home. Adding to her challenges was me...I just kept hanging about. For anyone who knows a dog, they simply can't resist other people's business and my moving about the house was preventing her from, ya know, sleeping.

One morning, early in the morning, Pearl was in a mellow, "kumbaya" mood as she'd just had her nap interrupted by my getting out of bed and getting a coffee. Since Pearl is not one to let action pass her by, she sidled over to me, pawed at my leg and looked up at me with those "please cuddle me before I die" eyes. Pearl's only agenda items are "fetch" and "food", so when she's in this mellow, snuggly mood, I like to take advantage of it. So, up she came on my lap...which changed Pearl's perspective...and her mood! Now, she could freely see out the window at all the things that were passing her by...like cars...and bicycles...and birds. She perked right up and started barking at anything that moved. New perspective, new energy. All of a sudden she was happy and highly energized, simply because of a change in view. Pearl's reaction to her new view planted a seed with me about the topic of "perspective".

Lately, I've been struggling with many things...regaining my "mojo" to get back on my Journey to Good Health...securing contract work that will help me fund my dream...staying positive when so many people in my life are struggling with SOMETHING! It's a troubled world and my perspective on things seems to get tainted by the dissatisfaction of so many in my life and the bleakness of winter.

So, what the heck am I gonna do about it?!? Let's explore my choices:

1) Continue to wallow in my funk, soaking up the sadness that is all around me and letting it change my whole being....um, NO FLIPPIN' WAY!!

2) Take it one day at a time, seeking out positive things and acknowledging the successes I've had, no matter how big or small they are....hmmm....good start!

3) change my perspective...BINGO!!

I've had some ankle-biter issues that have been dragging me down. So, I've taken stock of the most challenging ones and am going to address them head on. Here's how I'm changing my perspective:

- I am committed to redesigning and revamping my website. What I viewed as "tedious" before, I am now looking at as "fun". I have fresh eyes and I am excited about all that the website CAN be! Rather than look at it as a chore to complete, I am approaching it with a creative eye, embracing that side of me and applying this positive energy to the design and content of the website. Can you feel my positive energy?!?

- I have decided to stop pining for my elusive "mojo" and start getting back on track with small-but-meaningful changes in my behaviour. I know myself well enough to know that ANY reduction in my caloric count will be beneficial. So, I've changed my perspective from "woe is me" to "you go, girl!" and I am taking back the control of my good health. Here are the small steps I'm committing to do:
1) track my calories so I don't exceed 1,600 per day
2) stop eating after 7:00 pm
3) fast one day/week

These are all things I've done before and know that I am capable of doing them again. BTW, it's 4:30 and this is my fast day for the week. I'm hungry and feel a bit low energy, but I'm not dying and I am determined to make it through the night with no food.

Now, about all the negativity that surrounds me. I've changed my perspective on that too. A good friend reminded me that the only thing within my control are my actions and reactions. People are going to feel crappy because they are dealing with some really bad stuff. Does that mean I have to also feel crappy? Not at all! I can choose to be sympathetic without being EMpathetic...coach, listen, advise without getting emotionally attached to the outcome...focus on the good in my life to contrast the negativity that others are experiencing. See what I mean?

Funny, what shifting a perspective can do. Now when I look outside my windows, I no longer just see the clouds in the sky. I can actually see the blue sky BEHIND the clouds!

Tell me, poppits, what can you do to change your perspective?

Glad to be back in the blogging saddle again!
(a)yt xox

How do you celebrate SO MANY good things?

2010-10-21T18:56:00.000-07:00

Hi all!

Sorry for my tardy update. It feels like forever since I was basking in the sun of Phoenix. Fortunately I still have the memories...and the tan!!

I was talking to my friend, Emmanuel...aka Motivator Man. He writes a great blog and motivational tips based on his passion - movies. Reading his blog will change the way you watch a movie!

ANYWAY, it had been a long time since we had chatted, so there was alot for us to catch up on. The last time we spoke, we were both in very different places. THIS time, it was all so awesome! Both of us have ALOT of amazing things happening in our lives. I said I felt like I was being grateful "almost hourly"....that's how many positive things that were happening for me. Fortunately, Emmanuel was experiencing the same abundance of awesomeness!

After hanging up with him, I began to notice the physical and emotional benefits I was feeling for being in a "grateful space"...

- I had a smile on my face ... even in traffic!
- I felt highly energized; like I could dance all night. (it DID help to have Billy Idol's "Dancin' With Myself" playing on the radio-just sayin')
- I felt optimistic and really happy...I mean playing-with-a-puppy-in-a-giant-field-of-soft-grass happy.
- I couldn't think of anything about which to be negative...or sad...or afraid.
- I felt like I was about to burst open with excitement, sprouting lovely, colorful flowers from my really taut belly (hey! I can dream of a taut belly, right?!?)

So, what does this mean? It's about feeling good, poppits, and what makes you feel that way. Looking at all the good things going on in your life is one of the best coping mechanisms you can have. Looking at your life through the lens of all the stuff you have vs. what you DON'T have changes your perspective in a good way.

Like, for example, the workout I had yesterday. The Evil One is back and worked me like there was no tomorrow. I did step ups; I pushed a friggin' bench back and forth across the floor; I did skipping with no mercy for the pain of my jiggly bits; I did 50 non-stop half-seated bench presses; THEN, I did ab crunches where I pulled myself up then hit the punching bags at the top. Seriously, by the end of the workout every muscle in my body ached. Did I feel like "accidentally" punching Werner in his manly bits? NO!! Actually, I thanked him for not giving up on me. For showing no mercy and reminding me I have the capability to do the hard workouts. Quite frankly, it was time to get back on the exercise horse and ride again and I was really happy to be back on the horse.

So, if being grateful can help me look at a workout as a GOOD thing, think of what that emotion can do for you!

Try it, you'll like it...

Wishing you things to be grateful for coming out your ying-yang!
(a) yt xox

For what are you grateful?

2010-10-08T09:22:00.000-07:00

Halloooo and greetings from sunny, warm Phoenix! I'm sitting in my bro's office and thought I'd type you an update.

These past few weeks have been quite eventful and thought provoking for me. I always get kinda kumbaya around Thanksgiving because I try and reflect back on the year, remembering all for which I am grateful. As I look back on this year, all I can say is...

!!!!!! HOLY AMAZING, BATMAN !!!!!

Please indulge me while I take a few notes...
- lost a few pounds
- exercised a few times
- took a few trips to Phoenix
- climbed a little trail through the Andes
- developed and performed a few workshops
- got a few initials behind my name
- coached a few, AWESOME clients
- met a few new people

Get the picture?!? Oh, and how about, survived financially doing work I love with people that inspire me daily?

People, you can't imagine how incredibly grateful I am for the life I lead. If you are reading this blog, know that you are one of those people who have touched my life and ROCKED MY WORLD. To you, I am and will always be...

1) appreciative of who you are and what you bring to the table every time I see you!
2) amazed at your never-ending wisdom and inspiration
3) humbled by your courage
4) honoured by your friendship and trust

So tell me, poppits, when you look back on this past year...What made you proud? Who made you happy? What made you say "I totally ROCKED that!"?!?

I'm guessing those are the moments and the people for which you are most grateful!

Wishing you love, gratitude and lots of pumpkin pie! Happy Thanksgiving!
(a)yt xox

Asking for help

2010-09-21T05:32:00.000-07:00

Sitting in a Starbucks waiting for my car to get work done and thinking about the concept of help. Trust me, this is not a random thought sprung on me because of an incident at the Starbucks. Here's where I'm coming from...

Last night I joined Weight Watchers. There's a new "chapter" about 3KM from where I live (right next to a Baskin Robbins, btw - no irony there!). They have opening deals, so I thought I'd sign up and get back on track. It's time.

ANYWAY...the topic for last night's discussion was "Asking for help". Marlene, the facilitator, asked the question...if we could ask for help, what would we ask for and who would we ask for it from? When we all looked at her like deers in headlights, she took a step back and asked..."why is it so difficult for us to ask for help?"

Ooooohhhh.....good question!!!

While I'm the first one there for anyone who needs help, it's VERY difficult for me to ask for help myself. And, based upon the responses from last night's group, I'm not the only one who faces this challenge. Here's what some of the responses were:

- asking for help admits to failure
- asking for help exposes a vulnerability that isn't always comfortable to admit
- asking for help surrenders independence
- asking for help makes you dependent on others

YOWZA!! Really? Does asking for help really mean all of the above? It made me think about times when I actually DID ask for help and what REALLY happened. Let's do this checklist...

- Did I feel I failed? Not really. It was more like I just didn't know what to do next and realized I couldn't do this alone anymore. Admitting I don't know everything is a good dose of reality!

- Was I vulnerable? Oh yeah! I felt a little like I was taking another leap of faith. Only this time it was jumping off the ledge into the arms of someone, trusting they would catch me. And what did the person to whom I asked for help do with that vulnerability? Nothing really...didn't acknowledge it or embrace it or anything. Just helped...without question or judgment or drama. Which, btw, was the perfect reaction for me!

- Did I surrender independence? DARN TOOTIN'!! And that was a good thing! What makes me think I'm perfect enough to take care of EVERYTHING in my life?!? While I'd like to THINK I'm Wonder Woman, I'm not ... hello?!?

- Did I become dependent on others? For this particular situation, yes. And guess what? It worked!!

Here's the deal, poppits. No one can go alone in this world. I don't think we're meant to be completely self-sufficient for everything. Everyone needs some help, even if it's for an explanation of "Venti" vs. "Grande". Oh, and think about a time when you were able to help someone who needed help...how did you feel when you knew you COULD help him/her? Pretty good, eh?

So the next time you're stuck with something, ask yourself..."Who can help me with this?" and seek out that help. You'll feel better and you'll actually give pleasure to someone else.

Taking my own advice, I'm about to ask for help in refilling my Venti Pike Place coffee!

Here's hoping your leaps of faith and asks for help will find you jumping into the arms of Ryan Reynolds...or Scarlett Johannson ... or both! Hey! I'm not here to judge!
(a)yt xoxo

Star gazing in Toronto

2010-09-11T09:08:00.000-07:00

Hello all!

I'm taking a break from the blinding flashes of the paparazzi and the screams of the fans to touch base with you. That's right! The Toronto International Film Festival is in town and Yours Truly has been hanging about this week. For those of you who know me, you know that I am a HUGE fan of the glitz & glamor of celebrities, as well as an avid movie fan. TIFF is just a glorious combination of the two!

To be truthful, the star gazing addiction and the frenzy of "must get the best photo" is a new phenomena for me. When I lived in Los Angeles, it was not a big deal to see celebrities hanging about. So, where my addiction to the glamor has come from is beyond me. But I have to tell you, it's kinda over the top. I realized this as I found myself mashed up against complete strangers, waiting to see Edward Norton and Robert DeNiro before their movie, Stone, Friday night. I'm talking feel-the-heartbeat-of-the-person-standing-behind-my-back mashed. Now, the fact that I was in more intimate positions with complete strangers than with past boyfriends was not the disturbing part. What was alarming for me was my reaction when Robert DeNiro showed up and didn't even greet the crowd. Instead of seeing him, I saw the side of the SUV that drove him. I got caught up in the anger of the crowd and found myself yelling things like "Come on, Bobby...give it up for your fans!!" and "Who do you think you are? Al Pacino?!?"

Honestly, can you believe it?!? It wasn't my finest moment. The interesting thing is that I didn't realize just how ridiculous I was behaving until I started to tell some other friends about it. Their "yeah, so what?" attitude gave me good perspective. It helped me to GET A FRIGGIN' GRIP, SISTER!

I kinda vowed that I would control myself and not get so crazily involved in the hype. Fortunately, there weren't many other huge celebrities I was going to see, so the temptation really wasn't there. It was a good dose of reality for me, though.

So, I think I'm back to my "normal" perspective around TIFF. Yeah, it's fun to see celebrities (saw Amy Madigan, Ed Harris & Jennifer Connelly tonight!), but they are human too and are here to enjoy themselves. They like Toronto because the fans are non-intrusive and respectful. My behaviour towards DeNiro was not very respectful, truth be told. I have to retract the rumour I spread on Facebook that says he showed up late for the gala because he had a tummy ache and was found in an embryonic position crying "I want my mommy"..see, not respectful.

In the meantime, I will continue to be grateful for experiencing this for the 12th year in a row, with friends who are able to enjoy the glitz & glam with me. That's the best part! Star gazing is always better with someone!

Remember, poppits, everyone is glamorous in their own way. When you're getting ready for work tomorrow, pull out your finest outfit with your highest heels. Throw on some makeup, curl your hair and walk out the door like you're walking into your own paparazzi party. Believe me, you've got star power, so work it baby, work it!!

I'm signing off and heading to bed now. I need to be fresh for the red carpet!
(a)yt xox

Scared straight!

2010-08-25T18:59:00.001-07:00

Happy Hump Day, poppits! It's been a while since I've updated you on the saga that is my Journey to Good Health, so here we go!

I've been trying to maintain my routine of the 8-hour eating window, with no grains, sugar and dairy. For the most part, it's been a pretty good haul. There are days, however, when all logic gets tossed aside and I find myself in Organic Planet buying Kale Chips, the Awesome Almond mix and some of their yummy baked goods. Usually these things don't make the drive home before I've inhaled them, so all of those calories are consumed within a 15 minute drive...leaving me feeling full and like a failure!

I TRY to stay away from there, believe me, but it's like my car is on auto pilot and my feet just move themselves through the store. All the while, there is a running commentary in my head, outlining all the logical reasons why I should put down the Power Cookies and walk away before anyone gets hurt. I've even had visions of myself throwing my hand-carried basket of treats at the innocent, smiley cashier while running out of the store yelling "YOU WON'T TAKE ME ALIVE!!!!"

But that never seems to happen and I buy the food, snarf it down and begin the routine of self-loathing. sigh...

So, in my self-loathing mood, I went to a workout last Tuesday (17th). I put on 4 lbs., after having lost 6 lbs. the week before. Well, The Evil One had had enough and threatened to fire me as a client! He said he had fired clients before when the effort they put into their workout wasn't supported by the effort they put into their eating. He didn't want to waste his time. When I realized he was serious, I thought...

"OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG!"

What would I do without "The Evil One"?!? My rock? My support? My reality check? The thought was not pleasant as Werner has come to mean a great deal to me, beyond just the training. I consider him a friend and someone to whom I will always be loyal.

Needless to say that was a good wake up call. When I weighed in this week, I was down 4 lbs., so the scale is going in the right direction. I'm back to feeling calmer about my approach to food and I kick my own butt at my gym, so all's good on the exercise front.

In retrospect, I think Werner was just trying to shake me up - well done to him! Having said that, I think he also reached his point of maximum frustration with me. All he saw was someone who had worked hard for over a year to lose 85 lbs. and exercise her way through The Andes, who was now becoming complacent and uncommitted. Honestly, I can't blame him for questioning me and I thank him for that "brick wall moment".

I just want to know...

What happened to my passion?
What happened to my commitment to me?
What happened to my buns 'o' steal?!?

I want all of that back, dammit, especially the buns of steal! So, I remind myself of my "golden rules" for my Journey to Good Health...

1) One meal at a time - don't throw the day away if I mess up on one meal. Keep focused on every meal!

2) Keep the goals simple and achievable - 8 hour window; no grains, sugar or dairy; exercise HARD at least 3x/week; LOOK GOOD NAKED!

3) Celebrate my success - I'm still the smallest size I've ever been as an adult; I feel great; I've come a long way and I REFUSE to turn back!

4) "Reality check" myself to keep perspective - it didn't take me a week to put the weight on so why should I expect to lose it in a week?; I won't starve or die if I don't have bread. Honestly, it's just bread!; Heart disease, diabetes, high blood pressure run rampant on both sides of my family. Is that ice cream really worth the risk?!?

5) Share the journey - people want to help and have good suggestions for keeping me focused; everyone has their own personal challenges. Me blogging about my challenges just helps to remind people they aren't alone!

Well poppits, it's time to go to bed. Thanx, again, for listening to my story! I will leave you with one question...

What are your "golden rules"?

G'night!
(a)yt xox

Sticking to the "real" me

2010-08-17T19:02:00.000-07:00

Heidi ho, poppits!

I've had this blog running through my head since Friday, so I think I'll just get right to it, if you don't mind...

I began my day Friday with a knock 'em down, drag 'em out fight. Not an actual fist fight, although at one point I imagined I was inflicting physical pain. I was part of a verbal sparring match that left my heart bruised and my head exhausted. Lemme give you some background...

As you know, I've been working on contract in Mississauga. Besides myself and my friend, Aubrey, there is another woman on the team. She is smart, funny and has gained alot of technical and data knowledge in a short period of time. I appreciate and value what she brings to the table. On occasion, I let her know what I think of her work.

For the past week-ish, I've been butting heads with this woman, quite often receiving comments that were confrontational and bordering disrespectful. It's been challenging for me, to say the least. People who know me well would say I am "challenged" because I have this crazy need to have everyone like me. Add to it my incredible discomfort with confrontation and you've got a storm brewing. Can you see where this is going?!?

Friday things came to a head. We were in a team meeting and we ended up having a fight. Clearly things had been building up for this woman and she let me have it all. What was really weird for me, however, was my reaction. As I heard her say things like...

"I don't need your patronizing compliments. I don't care what you think." and...

"Every time you ask me a question I feel like you're challenging me. You don't have the right to challenge me." And...

"I don't report to you. I don't have to explain myself" ... And...

"You don't add any value to this process"...

OIE!! As she was going on and on and ON, I was having this discussion in my head. I was balancing an urge to lash out with my words and hurt her like she was hurting me against my desire to remain true to my commitment to be respectful in all conversations, leaving the person with their dignity and self-respect. This position has taken ALOT of work on my part to achieve and, on that Friday morning, I was having my own internal battle over my response. It was a very surreal experience, truth be told.

What happened? Well, I resisted my urge to use profanity and to verbally rip her to shreds. I did, however, defend myself and mentioned that I refuse to change who I was because she couldn't handle it. OF course, I used more words than that, but that was the gist of the message I gave her.

After we each took a break, we regrouped. She said she was feeling very frustrated because she had been doing all kinds of work and the project was not moving forward. She said she had taken her frustration out on me and asked for my forgiveness. WOW!! At that point, it didn't matter what she said before, I knew the REAL reason for her lashing out. It wasn't really about me. It was about HER frustration. And, btw, how amazing was she to be able to admit that to me AND to ask for my forgiveness?!? I sure learned a lesson in humility on that day. Oh, and I like her even more now.

So, what are my takeaways from this encounter?

* First of all, even during the toughest of times, staying true to who you are feels AMAZING!

* It's not always about me. I know...shocking! OK, so maybe there really were things I've done that have pissed her off. I get that. But at the end of the day, what she acknowledged was that it wasn't about me. ooh...maybe she likes me now ...

* At Adler, they teach you to listen to the words behind the words - understand what's going on under the surface. With this woman, there was more to it than just my behaviors. If I'd had my coaching cap on, would I have been able to sense the deeper frustration? Would I have been able to hear phrases or words that indicated something else was going on? Perhaps, but in this particular case it didn't matter. She was a big enough person to admit to the frustration and how cool is that?

I wanted to blog about this event because it really shook me up. The ranting of this person and the horrible words she chose reminded me of a few of my old bosses. It took me back to times I thought I'd forgotten and vowed I would never repeat. I promised myself I would never allow someone to bully or abuse me in the workplace again, and this felt like both. What made me proud was that I stood up for myself and I said I would not change who I was because she was uncomfortable with me. AND, I believe I did it in a respectful way. That felt great!

Poppits, remember the amazing things about yourself and never, ever, EVER let anyone make you question them.

Stay true, be proud and ROCK ON!!

Signing off with a mirror pointed at you. Check out the SUPERCOOLHAPPYLOVETHING staring back at 'cha! Ooh mama....smokin'....
(a)yt xox

"Moments of Joy"

2010-08-09T19:16:00.000-07:00

Isn't that a great term?!?

Heidi ho, poppits and Happy Monday to you!

I am coming off of a FAB-U-LUSS weekend where I attended a Coaching Skills "Boot Camp" by "kick-ass" coach Dorothy Greenaway. She rocked and the weekend was AWESOME! As to be expected after spending a weekend with eight other coaches, I came away with some great self-awareness and learning. I also came away feeling better about my coaching skills and excited about the coaching conversation again. I was reminded of how much I really like listening and being curious.

As you know, 'cuz I mention it OVER AND OVER AND OVER again, I've been really trying to get my "mojo" back around losing weight and exercising. Whenever The Evil One asks me the question "but WHY can't you control your eating?", I never seem to have an answer for him. That has been a never-ending source of frustration for me. I've narrowed down when I eat (happy, sad, bored, not bored, hungry, not hungry, yada-yada), but haven't figured out the WHY behind it. This is the question I took with me to solve over this past weekend.

Was I able to "dig deep" and have a magical "a-ha" moment to answer the elusive "why"? Um, not so much, really. BUT I was able to remind myself of the "greatness" I wanted to achieve. That "greatness" being my crazy, impassioned desire to help people tap into their strengths and realize all they can be. By writing this blog, for example, my hope is that people will see the simple message I bring...if I can do it, ANYONE can do it. "It" being whatever huge obstacle they need to move.

Let's face it, people, my struggles are not the prettiest or easiest to have to witness and I thank you for sticking by me. But I've done what I set out to do - climb The Inca Trail. This weekend I realized that I really CAN do whatever the heck I want to do. I just need to get over myself! Have I seen any results? Well, I'm back to eating within my 8-hour window and have seen a serious reduction in carb & sugar intake. I'm back to feeling good about what goes into my mouth and that makes me happy!

One of the things we did was The Canopy Walk over The Haliburton Forest. Let me quote you from the website the description of The Canopy Walk...

"The canopy boardwalk is the ultimate highlight of this outing. Over half a kilometer long - and as such the longest of its kind in the world - the canopy boardwalk winds through the treetops some 10-20 meters above the forest floor. A platform suspended from the treetops above, becomes the gathering place where you can enjoy a leisurely snack while your guide elaborates on the forest environment surrounding you. A spectacular view across the lakes and forests becomes a fitting closure to your tree top tour."

Sounds lovely, doesn't it?!? What they DON'T tell you is that the "platform suspended from the treetops above" bobs & weaves like a drunken sailor on his way back to the ship from his shore leave!

Throughout the "ultimate highlight" that was The Canopy Walk, I found myself hugging trees as I hooked the clasps of my safety harness from one set of ropes to another; moving forward faster in a panicked state as my two partners progressed more confidently in the walk and I pulled up the rear; laughing hysterically (and I mean tears flowing, gut wrenching, face aching hysterical laughing) as I almost missed the GIANT first step that transitioned one suspended platform onto another; and tripping TWICE because my foot got caught on the rope at the side of wooden planks that was my boardwalk. Folks, I'm here to tell you I was FREAKED OUT!! The point of the walk was to get the "meta view" of the forest and to align that view with a coach's objective to always hold our client's meta goal in site for them. It's a lofty objective and one that Dorothy meant well in setting for us. But, all I know is that, for me, I couldn't see the forest because of all the fear I faced. Admittedly, I was able to feel better about my skills in transferring the safety clasps from one platform to another, but everytime I tried to look down and see the forest below, I felt a wave of nausea that caused me to grip the side ropes harder and make me walk a little faster to get the end!

Facing fear is a good thing, especially when you've got safety harnesses to back you up. However, you don't realize that until AFTER you've faced & conquered the fear. What's up with that?!? Too bad all fears didn't have crystal balls into which we could see us conquering whatever the fear was we faced. But then again, what fun would that be?!?

I'll wrap things up, but before I do, I want to share a tidbit from a coaching conversation I had with one of The Inca Chicks. She's the one who coined the phrase "Moments of Joy". During our conversation, she remembered being at Dead Woman's Pass (the highest point of our journey on The Inca Trail) feeling complete joy every time one of our team members arrived at the top of the Pass. Knowing how difficult the journey was, made her joyous EVERY TIME one of our team members reached the top. She said she decided to retire on top of that mountain because she wanted to find more "moments of joy" like the ones she experienced at Dead Woman's Pass. WOW!!

So tell me, poppits...What constitutes a "moment of joy" for you? And how often do you have them in a day?

Hmmmm.....

NOW tell me... what are you going to do to get more moments of joy in your life?!?

Wishing you "kick-ass" conversations and MANY moments of joy!
(a)yt xox

Inspiration

2010-08-03T07:15:00.000-07:00

Hi poppits!

Here's hopin' you had a great, long weekend and that getting back to work wasn't too challenging for you!

I had a great weekend, filled with socializing and re-runs of The West Wing - my latest DVD purchase. Man! I LOVED that show!

I also went to a couple of movies and dinner with pal-o-mine, Joanne. It had been a bit of time since I'd had the pleasure of Joanne's company alone, and I was reminded of how much I enjoyed spending time with her! We had great conversations and saw two AWESOME movies! Now, I don't normally do movie reviews, but I gotta tell you that Despicable Me (in 3D) and Salt were GREAT! Both movies rocked it, and to be truthful, were inspiring in their own way. Despicable Me was funny, creative and quite touching...fun for all. And yes, it's an adult movie too. Angelina Jolie in Salt was INCREDIBLE!! Say what you will about her love life (no wait! please say no more, I've had enough!), that chick can act! And run around...like for a long time and over many things! I'm sure she had a stunt women for the really difficult stunts, but that was DEFINITELY Angie running through the streets of Washington and around NYC. It was also Angie who did these amazing pivots off the wall just before she'd crack somebody upside the head with a gun and kick their butt...literally! So inspired was I that I'm going to tell The Evil One I have a new fitness goal. I want to be ripped enough so I can kick four CIA agents at the ready. I'm thinking it could take me a few months to figure out the sleeping-death-neck-grip move, but that's ok. I am, after all, a lover not a fighter!

After chatting with Joanne, I felt really good about my life. She reminded me of what I'd accomplish, and that this "moment of the journey" (i.e. when I can't seem to stop stuffing my face with everything) is just temporary. It's true. It reminded me of a great line in Anne of Green Gables, where Anne says "Tomorrow is another day with no mistakes in it"...or something like tha... you get the gist, right? It doesn't matter how badly you've messed up, there's always tomorrow...or next week... or the next five minutes! Whatever it takes to get back on track, go for it!

I've had to draw upon a couple of tidbits I've learned from the "yt School of Getting Back Up After You've Had Your Butt Kicked a Few Times":

- Guilt and regret are two wasted emotions. Feeling them benefits no one. Suck it up and make amends, learn from the experience and move on. Yeah, I've put on a few pounds since I've come back from Machu Picchu, but I'm nowhere near where I was, so I need to stop whining, start exercising and MOVE ON!

- Laugh as often and as loud as you can. I'm sure those of you who have actually heard my laugh would not describe it as "delicate", so I'm all about letting 'er rip whenever the mood strikes me. Trust me, I've learned from the best. My siblings & I are notorious for laughing...all the time ... regardless of whether or not it's appropriate. Just ask my traumatized nieces and nephews. But at least we laugh. Joanne also has a hearty laugh and this weekend we both let go of a few, good belly laughs. What a great feeling that was!!

- Life's too short for the "what ifs". I've never felt myself to be a major risk-taker, but this weekend I was reminded that I've actually been living on the edge for quite a bit of time. Pursuing a dream is not always the easiest thing to do, but I gotta tell you, it's AMAZING when you do it!

I loved my weekend and I am thankful to Joanne for her inspiration. I don't think she knows what she's triggered in me...oops! Gotta flip her this blog so I don't have a "what if" about that!

My question for you poppits is this....from where do you draw inspiration? What little things in life give you pleasure and renew your hope? What books or movies give you inspiration? What friend or relative or work colleague can YOU count on to lift your spirits? I hope I've planted a seed for you to start paying attention.

Wishing you days filled with no regrets, inspiration and rip-roarin' laughter!
(a)yt xox

I'm getting nothin'!!

2010-07-27T17:27:00.001-07:00

Hello poppits! Greetings from a very hot Mississauga!

I've been noodling over this blog all day, wondering what brilliant bits of inspiration I can give to my small but loyal followers...and I'm coming up with nothing! So, I thought I'd give you an update on what I've been doing for the past week.

On the eating & exercise front, it's been a bit of a downer for me. I exercised Wednesday of last week, hard, by myself. Achieving my goal of an additional 30 skips for my workout (up to 360 now) and doing some weight work, squats and stretches. It was a great workout and I was quite proud of myself. I even did some ab crunches on the ball. Then I went to my workout with The Evil One Thursday and, just as I was tying my shoe, I threw out my back. Oie! So I walked out into the gym, bent over like a hunchback where I went through a series of stretches and some massage. That aching lasted for several days, unfortunately, so the rest of the weekend was a write off. On a positive note, the back is better now, but it made me realize I need to get back on track to take care of myself again.

The eating has been a challenge as well. Every day I start out with good intentions, but by the time evening rolls around, I have succumbed to my temptations. I need to figure this out as it's starting to get REALLY annoying. Not to mention I can't seem to shake off the weight I gained after Machu Picchu. Sooooooooo....here are my commitments to myself:

1) I will join a gym in the west end. I have one in mind, that's enroute to my job in Mississauga. My life has shifted from 3 days in Toronto to 3 days in Mississauga and it's time to start adjusting my ever-important work out routine. I commit to working out at least three times/week, including a workout with The Evil One.

2) I will get back to some of my old, good habits ... like ...
- not eating after 7:00
- eliminating grains
- fruit & yogurt once/day
- eliminating dairy

I'm looking forward to getting back to "normal". I kinda hate feeling crappy, truth be told. Crappy both physically and emotionally. Yeesh, how much weight does a girl have to lose before she can feel good about herself?!?

Werner asked me (again!) what are my triggers for eating. I really don't know. Actually, that's not true. I noodled this a bit and have actually tried to pay attention and, to be truthful, the question Werner should be asking is "What DOESN'T trigger me to eat?!?" Seriously...I eat when I'm happy, when I'm bummed, when I'm angry, when I'm bored, when I'm not bored, when I'm hungry, when I'm not hungry...get the picture?!?

It's kinda crazy, if you think about it. I mean, how long have I been at this losing weight thing? And why do I STILL hear chocolate brownies calling my name?!? It's getting old.

So, there you have it, poppits. Nothing inspirational, just glimpses into the never-ending saga that is my Journey to Good Health. Even through it all, I am still grateful for the weight I've lost...for the ability to continue exercising and better myself with each workout...for my amazing support network who love me regardless of my size or my mental state, which we all know changes like the wind!

I guess this struggling is all part of the journey, but I must admit that I'll be glad when it's over. Today The Evil One asked me if I could "visualize" myself at my optimal weight. To be truthful, I can't. But I can remember the great feeling of accomplishment after I've pushed myself one step further during the workout. Or the feeling of pride when I looked down at the conveyor belt in the grocery store upon seeing my healthy choices for that day. Those are the feelings I'm going for right now.

One step at a time, poppits, one step at a time...
(a)yt xox

Pick your party, people!

2010-07-20T17:48:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone! I hope you are keeping cool. Can it get any muggier?!? Yeesh!

This past week has been spent focusing on everything OTHER THAN eating properly and exercising regularly... not a good thing, poppits!

As you know, I've been feeling out of sorts since my return from Peru. I just can't seem to get anything right. I know this because I'm staring at a dusty, disorganized mess that is my condo, contemplating what else I can put into my mouth...even after eating a nice, healthy salad for dinner. I'm in trouble, once again!

As I think back on this challenging time, I realize I've run the spectrum of emotions...
... SAD that the trip is over
... CONFUSED about "what's next?" with me and my eating and exercise goals
... HAPPY that my work contracts have started
... RELIEVED that I can start digging myself out of the hole of debt
... THANKFUL that I have a great support network of people who are positive, loving and generous
... FRUSTRATED that I can't seem to get my weight loss "mojo" back
... TICKED OFF at myself that I continue to expend mountainous emotional energy on mole hill issues.

When I originally sat down to type this blog, I was going to invite you to my "pity party" while I droned on about how horrible the transition back to reality has been and how I just can't seem to feel good about myself. I was going to recommend that you B.Y.O.T (Bring Your Own Tissues) because, clearly, I am too self-absorbed to think of tissues for anyone else. Um, does this sound like a party YOU want to go to?!?

Fortunately for all concerned, I've given myself a mental head smack and said "SNAP OUT OF IT!!" This particular pity party has been canceled.

Instead, I'd like to invite you to another party. THIS party has...
... music you can dance to even if you have two left feet and no rhythm
... yummy tasting drinks that give you a slight buzz but do not lead you down the path of embarrassment
... food that tantalizes your taste buds without plumping your hips
... conversation that stimulates your brain, your heart and your soul
... people that make you laugh, make you think and make you want to never leave their side.

Does this sound like YOUR kind of party?!? I know I wouldn't want to leave! Sooooo, how do we get there?

Acceptance of and pride in who you are. Other people love & accept us just as we are, why can't we do the same with ourselves? Hmmmm.....

OK poppits, I'm closing the door on my pity party and I am about to walk into my new party. I can hear Kool & The Gang's song "Celebrate" wrapping up in the background. I smell the aroma of different, decadent foods. I see a bar with cocktail shakers and colorful bottles. Everyone inside is smiling or laughing and several people have their arms outstretched ready to greet me. As I get closer to the door, KC & The Sunshine Band comes on, and I KNOW I am ready to shake, shake, shake my booty. Who's walking in with me?!?

Here's wishing you the ability to see yourself through the eyes of a loved one.
(a)yt xox

Hurts so good...

2010-07-15T13:41:00.000-07:00

I'm doing one of my favourite things, as you all know. I'm sitting at a Starbucks location. This time it's in the heart of the financial district in downtown Toronto. I'm waiting for some of my Adler peeps to show up for our monthly "Coaches' Corner" get together. It's 15 minutes past the starting point and I have a feeling that I'm going to be this month's only participant. This is not a bad thing as it gives me a chance to write this note.

I attended the funeral of my Aunt Elsie yesterday. Although a sad occasion when anyone leaves this world, this time it was a blessing. Aunt Elsie, normally full of life with quick wit and a GREAT laugh, spent the last few months in alot of pain. It's good that she's no longer suffering. Now it's the family that will have to deal with their pain...

When I think of my memories of Aunt Elsie, I am always reminded of a woman who supported me with my weight loss journey. I remember sitting beside her one day while she was playing cards. I never liked PLAYING cards, but I enjoyed the bantering and trash-talking that always happened during a card game. For the record, Aunt Elsie could keep up with the best of them in terms of trash talking.

ANYWAY....

I was a teenager and was quite self-conscious of my weight. Aunt Elsie turned to me in between card hands and said "You losing weight, honey? You look good! I mean that. Listen honey, do yourself a favour and lose the weight while you're young. It gets really hard when you get old like me." On that day, Aunt Elsie was the only person who a) noticed and b) said anything about my effort to lose weight. It made me love her to bits!

Throughout my years of roller-coaster weights, Aunt Elsie would always tell me "you look good, honey", regardless of how big or small I was. I knew she meant it and was (and still am) grateful for her kind words and observations. I tip my hat, my laptop and my Venti Decaf Americano to you, Aunt Elsie! You will be missed by many, whose lives you probably didn't even realize you touched.

Before Aunt Elsie died, I was speaking with her son (my cousin) about her status. He was spending alot of time with Aunt Elsie and Uncle Pete, taking care of her and their business. He kept talking about her pain and the suffering she endured. I could tell he was in pain watching her. It reminded me of the pain I'd experienced in my life, and got me thinking about the different kinds of pain we all suffer...and how to cope.

Below are a couple of tips I've used to help me get through some harrowing, pain-filled days in my life:

#1 - TALK IT THROUGH
My cousin, Mansour, normally a happy-easy-to-smile kinda guy was really down. I could feel his angst over Skype. By the end of our conversation, he seemed to perk up and even laugh out loud on a few occasions. His pain was managed by a simple conversation - one where he was able to talk about his challenges and then let them go temporarily. For me, I felt overwhelmed by his pain so I had to figure out a way to put my anxiety aside and focus on him. This was a challenge to me, but something worthwhile for me to learn. I was so happy to see Mansour's BIG smile return to his face by the end of the conversation. I will always be grateful for my support network. During times when you're in pain, talk it through. If you're not a talker, like me, journal or write down your experience and what you're feeling. I know it sounds "touchy feely", but believe me, it will provide relief. During those dark times, ya gotta grab that relief whenever you can.

#2 - TAKE TIME FOR YOU
In 2009, I blogged about the challenges I faced when I was dealing with a crappy work environment on top of the rapid decline of my mom. May to October 2009 were dark months for me. One of the few things that kept me going were my weekly workouts with The Evil One. Although they weren't the most pleasurable (as you will recall!), they were 100% focused on me - on my improvement and good health. Those one hour sessions were my refuge from the challenges I experienced at work and the pain of watching my mother suffer. When you're constantly focused on others, it's really important to take care of yourself. For me, the physical exercise was great. Whatever you choose, pick something you enjoy and is 100% focused on you. It may feel a bit decadent, but YOU ARE WORTH IT!

#3 - LET IT GO
Sometimes people feel pain for a long period of time... Somebody said something to hurt you... You keep revisiting a part of your past that was difficult...you said or did something to someone that you regret (that's my favourite!)... Do any of these sound familiar?!? I'm notorious for re-living past moments of pain, especially when I've caused it to someone else. Sometimes it's difficult to move past it. I get that - believe me! When you keep re-living things that cause you pain, ask yourself the question "For how long do I need to suffer?" Honestly, what's the point? If you can't change the past, then what can you learn from it to help you move on? Do yourself a favour - forgive yourself and/or forgive others. It will save you alot of unnecessary angst!

Of course, these "pearls of wisdom" are from my own point of view and offer no psychological back up. Just me and my experience. I am interested in other perspectives, so if you'd like to share your thoughts on how you deal with pain, feel free to comment on the blog or send me an email. I'm always curious about you, poppits!

Well, it's official. I am the only person at Coaches' Corner this month! Time to pack up and head to see Despicable Me with niece Jennifer and nephew Craig - can't wait!

Wishing you pain-free moments forever!
(a)yt xox

The joy of relaxation...

2010-07-07T12:40:00.000-07:00

Greetings poppits! I'm sitting in a Starbucks where I've been staring at spreadsheets and Word documents for the past 2 hours.

It's break time and I can't think of a better way to spend this time then with you!

As you know, I've taken on a few contracts recently, in addition to reconnecting with my existing clients. This adds up to a certain "busyness" about my days now. I'm not complaining, don't get me wrong. As a matter of fact, I thank my lucky stars at least 5 times a day for enabling me to have creative and fulfilling work each day. What it's meant for me is that I'm not taking time out to just enjoy myself...like now. I miss hangin' in a Starbucks, people watching where I see and hear...

- a pimply-faced kid snorting out loud at the instant messages he's receiving on Facebook. He looks like he's having his own private party online. I wonder how I can get invited to that party...

- the "like, TOTALLY, loud group of, like high-energy-high-pony-tailed" young females that just entered. They are, like, really, um, like LOUD? But man! They are having fun!

- the ginger molasses cookies in the display case calling my name...LOUDLY...

- the guy with his arms and calves covered in tattoos, with the funky hair style and the awesomely sculpted facial hair...and I mean "sculpted"! Seriously, I bet it would take him at least an hour to shave every morning. Actually, he probably thinks of it more as "managing his image" vs. shaving!

- incredibly high energy staff. Honestly, I think they may have ingested too much caffeine. It'll be interesting to see the caffeine crash in a couple of hours!

Ah, it's good to be back in this space...

Today I had lunch with some of the Inca chicks. It was great to reconnect with them. They're all so awesome! One of the ladies will be retiring at the end of the month and we were talking about what she wanted to do. Her response? "I just want to entertain and invite people over for a BBQ all the time"...how awesome is that?!? Now she's got retirement in perspective! I'm sure she'll figure out how she wants to approach and structure her next phase of life. As a matter of fact, I've been hired to coach her through the process. But for now, all she wants to do is enjoy her free time and recuperate from the years of being on the never-ending treadmill of work.

Lemme ask you something, poppits. If you were facing retirement in three weeks, what would you do? Then lemme ask you something else...what's keeping you from doing it now?!?

Wishing you all the chillaxin' time that you can bear!!
(a)yt xox

"Count your blessings instead of sheep"

2010-07-03T07:16:00.000-07:00

Today I got a text message from a rock star client, who was reading my blog while on vacation. She quoted words from my "Mountains vs. Mole Hills" blog. That little text started this whole flood of reminders of all the great things I've got going on in my life. Really, it was quite an amazing response! It started with me thinking about this client and how much I enjoyed getting to know her...then made me think about how much I like coaching ... and ended with me looking in the mirror and saying "How awesome is my life?!?"

Hello poppits, and Happy Canada Day weekend! I hope you're enjoying the awesome weather.

It seems that, lately, I've been encountering people who have so much negativity going on in their lives they can't seem to see anything positive...anywhere! I also know what it's like to be so down that it's hard to see past anything else. I really feel for them. It's challenging to try and pull yourself out. For me, I try to take it one step at a time. Or rather, one blessing at a time....

When I was growing up, my dad & I had a tradition where we'd watch the movie, White Christmas, ever year...regardless of when it came on the TV! It was a great experience and an awesome memory to share with my dad. There was a scene with Bing Crosby and Rosemary Clooney. Bing rassles up some sandwiches, a pint of buttermilk and a piano and sings this little ditty to a fretful Rosemary...

If you're worried and you can't sleep
just count your blessings instead of sheep
and you'll fall asleep counting your blessings...

Corny, I know, but a good message.

Taking a step back to examine all the good things in your life is a good exercise to practice. However, it's hard to do when you're stressed out and can't see past your large bills...or your unfulfilling job...or your crappy relationship...or your freaked out family ... or the numbers on the scale that don't seem to go down...or (insert your stress point here)....

Whatever it is that's keeping you down, take the yt challenge to change your headspace...

- look yourself in the eyes (while standing in front of the mirror..duh!) and challenge yourself to find THREE positive things in your life
- then think of TWO more
- then think of TWO more
- keep going until you've run out of time or you really can't think of any more.

Then, take a mental check...how are you feeling now? A little more optimistic? Are you smiling..even just a little bit? Do you feel like things are a little more manageable?

If you don't feel a little more optimistic, let me know. We'll work on it together. But trust me...just try it once! What have you got to lose?!?

Wishing you positive thoughts and a really great suntan!
(a)yt xox

The skinny on The Inca Trail

2010-06-29T17:58:00.000-07:00

Hi again! I know, I know...twice in one night?!?

I thought I should do a quick de-brief on the rest of my trip, while the TV is still off! In a nutshell, it was the most amazing thing I've done to date. The Trail itself was incredibly beautiful and wickedly challenging.

I learned alot about myself while I was hiking. Things like:
- the only thing that saved me from my own evil, sabotaging thoughts was to count steps. Seriously! During the really difficult hiking parts (like, three of the four days!), I had all these thoughts that weighed me down. Inner Critic? Perhaps ... or just fear and exhaustion. Anyway, I learned that the best way to stay focused was to count my steps! I tie this back to when I was running all those steps before I left. Remember? I had to reach the goal of 2,000 steps so every time I ran them, I counted. Quite interesting!

- even stale, white bread can taste good when it's slathered with butter, jam or a Nutella-like mystery substance.

- a physical challenge like this has an amazing way of bonding a group of people. On the second day of the climb (called "The Sacrifice when we went from 9,300 ft to 10,100 ft), I hiked to the top of Dead Woman's Pass behind two folks. We were all struggling, physically and emotionally, to get to the top. The motivation for the three of us? Pinky swear commitments to stay with each other and the shouts of congratulations we heard as other people reached the top! For myself, those cheers were like an angel's chorus calling me above the clouds ... heavenly ...

- there is no graceful way to enter or exit a two-person pup tent. You either do it bum first, which is not a pleasant sight for the innocent folks walking by. Or, the other way is feet first, which means crawling out on your bum and getting dirty. By day 4, getting dirty didn't matter to me...nor did having hair that stuck to my head or smelly feet for that matter...just sayin'....

- I have set the standard of physical activity for my vacations. No longer will my vacations just be about vegging. I expect to have a good combination of physical challenge and relaxation. Camping without running water for 4 days, not so much...

There are so many other learnings to share, but I'm starting to feel the need to pop on the TV and mentally check out for the evening. I promise to provide snipets in my upcoming blogs. In the meantime, I've made a Picasso web album of the trip. Feel free to check it out! BTW, you may need to cut & paste the link into your browser to make it work.

http://picasaweb.google.com/114426312429469241773/TheIncaTrailMay2010#
(a) yt xox

Mountain or Mole Hill?

2010-06-27T12:46:00.000-07:00

Well hallooooooooooooooooo! I'm back and happy to be here...again! What a ride it's been. Thank you for coming back. A special thanx to those of you who have, patiently, asked and waited for me to return.

A few weeks ago, a good friend of mine casually said that I make mountains out of mole hills. My first reaction was to freak out, get pissed off, then actually register what was said. I had a feeling that my initial reaction could've been a good example of me making a mountain out of a casual observation...hmmmm...the drama queen returns...

This innocent comment got me thinking about a whole bunch of things going on in my life, and how I had been approaching them. Admittedly, I was out of sorts when I returned from Peru, calling it my "post-Inca Trail Blues". While the trip was TOTALLY AMAZING, I experienced quite a let down. I understand this experience is "normal", however it really put me into a funk. Since I had been planning for this trip - physically, emotionally & financially - for close to a year, having it over left me without focus. I kept asking myself "what's next?"

... what goal do I have to work towards to get the last of my weight off?
... now that I'm back to "reality", what am I going to do to make money?

These were big questions for me and I started to feel overwhelmed and, yes, a bit depressed. Clearly I'd lost my drive and felt REALLY unfocused. I gained 14 lbs....yes, FOURTEEN... and stopped exercising regularly. I still had my weekly work outs with The Evil One, but didn't go into the gym beyond the one/week. And forget about working out at home...

So, here I was feeling blah...so blah that I couldn't even blog about it...when my friend made the statement about me making mountains out of mole hills. It got me thinking about my approach to things. He was right! Cases in point...

MOUNTAIN NUMBER 1 - HEALTH
- why did I need another "Machu Picchu-like" challenge to get the weight off? How about the goals of being healthy and looking good naked? I realized I just needed to take control of one thing at a time, setting small, achievable goals for myself. Considering I ate carbs-upon-carbs-with-a-hint-of-protein on The Trail, eliminating carbs would be a good first step to regaining control. It's amazing what happens when you stop eating grains! Oh, and lest I forget the accountability. So now, I weigh myself everyday and email a picture of the scale to The Evil One. I'm losing again and I feel much better now that I'm eating healthy.

- on the exercise front, I've committed to doing a workout at least two other times/week in my condo. You'll be happy to know that Werner never caved on his commitment to my torture. I returned to even more challenging routines. For example, today I had to SKIP during my workout! My first reaction was to worry about the visual of all my jiggly bits flying about in front of The Evil One while I jumped rope. I know he's evil but even I couldn't inflict that torture on him. Unphased by my drama, he suggested facing the window (vs. the mirror), overlooking the railroad tracks outside. Imagine the "mountain" view the GO Train riders caught as they were passing through...YOWZA!!

MOUNTAIN NUMBER 2 - WORK
- it's true that the "irons" I had in the fire before the trip didn't pan out upon my return. But I realized I was still capable of developing new leads and getting other work. I'm great at networking, so a few strategically placed emails and coffee meetings later, and I'm working with my good friends, Duane & Aubrey, doing some cool work with a great organization. I'm also going to deliver my Defining Your Unique Selling Proposition workshop again (Saturday, July 24 from 9:00 - noon...email me to sign up at yvonne@ymtStrategies.com). AND, I'm in the process of collaborating with a few, different friends to develop other really cool workshops.

MOUNTAIN NUMBER 3 - THE BLOG!!!
- I couldn't bring myself to blog... I was freaking out thinking I had to be inspirational when I wasn't feeling inspired...that I had to go into great details about my trip and speak about deep, meaningful life learnings...that people were expecting brilliance when I was feeling really mediocre (Really, Yvonne? Brilliance?!?)...blah, blah, blah...Reality check? IT'S JUST A FRIGGIN' BLOG!! I just needed to sit down, keep the TV and radio off and type from the heart.

YEESH! I now GET what my friend was saying! I gotta tell ya, all this mountain climbing is mentally exhausting! And, at the end of the day, fixing my "problems" was simple:
1) get off my couch (exercise again)
2) shut my pie hole (eat the right foods)
3) be creative (network for contract work)
3) just type (for the love of God!)

Really poppits, I'm not trying to minimize your problems. Only you can separate the mountains from the mole hills. But do yourself a favour before you react: Ask yourself a simple question...

... what's the level of emotional energy this situation deserves?

It has certainly helped me to put things into better perspective. It also helps when you've got friends who care about you enough to tell you the truth. I care, poppit, just ask ...
(a)yt xox

Getting ready to hit The Inca Trail!

2010-05-10T19:29:00.000-07:00

Greetings from our base just outside of the entry point into The Inca Trail!

We are staying at a FAB hotel with lots of coziness all about it. It´s a good thing, too, as this is our last night of comfort for four days! Let me catch you up briefly on what we´ve been doing...

Yesterday was an official guided tour of ´Sexy Woman¨with our guide, Eddie. It was good to get all the background on the history of the site and the Incas. It took up over 30 Hectares of land, and that was only 20% of what the full site used to be. Amazing! In the afternoon we had a tour of some key, city highlights. We were very behind, like herding kittens to be truthful. But we all had a good time and I guess that´s what counts. Well, unless you´re Eddie and you´re trying to keep us all organized.

Today we did white water rafting in wet suits. Now, to be truthful, I was kinda excited about putting on a wet suit, as I thought it was going to be so tight it would hold in my jiggly bits. Actually, I think it emphasized them. Or perhaps that was my imagination. It didn´t help that Willie, captain of the captains of our boats, said ´OK, we have the big suits´...´for you´. And I was the first one he gave it to...oie! I said, ¨story of my life¨and was met with a barrage of supportive comments by my fellow Inca Chicks who reminded me of how far I´d come. Good on them, really! I must admit that my brother had the schwankiest of the suits, with cool colours and sleeveless. We were all jealous!

We had a BLAST on the rapids. It was a great combination of slow and relaxed vs. level 3 rapids, which are kinda aggressive. Well, at least they seemed that way to me, as I got splashed in the face with several waves! It was alot of fun, and we even managed to have a few water fights! I learned a little about myself after the days´events...

- it´s a good thing to give up control to someone who actually knows how to white water raft. This was not something that was easy for some of my boat colleagues, so I found myself reminding them that ¨Jorge really knows what he´s doing.¨ I was hapy to see that I wasn´t a control freak...at least not in the boat!

- guinea pig is a delicacy in Peru. We went to see a Peruvian home in which they were breading guinea pigs for consumption. I learned that I can NEVER EVER eat one of those cute, furry little creatures...did I say ¨EVER¨?!?

- After the stress of trying to reduce the weight of my Inca Trail bag from 20 lbs. to 12 lbs., I learned that I can really live minimally when I don´t have to shower for 4 days. God help my walking partners! BTW, my brother ALMOST sacrificed his deodarant until I guilted him into taking it and using it. It´s a good thing he likes the rest of the people on the tour with us!

It is SUCH a good group of people and we are all bonding beautifully. We are going to have a great time. Eddie, our guide, described the four day hike as follows:

Day 1 - a long day of walking(turns out we will walk 14 KM)
Day 2 - our ´sacrifice´to the Inca Gods...this would be the stairs and the high altitude
Day 3 - Meditation - easier walk, and lots of beautful sights for enjoyment
Day 4 - Inspiration - our arrival into Machu Picchu!

I know this is going to be a good trip. I can just feel it in my entire being. I can´t wait to wear the shirt that says, I SURVIVED MACHU PICCHU !!

Well poppits, it´s been a long day and I need to get my beauty rest. Tomorrow begins the adventure for which I´ve been preparing for 10 months. I can not begin to express my excitement.

Take care and next time I type at ´cha I´ll be telling you of my success!!
(a)yt xox

Greetings from Cuzco, Peru on May 7, 2010

2010-05-08T16:12:00.000-07:00

Hola poppits!

I´m typin´at ´cha LIVE from my hotel in Cuzco. What a great adventure we are all having! The culture is great, the people are pretty cool and the food (of which I am inhaling significant portions) is great! All good...

Crossed hurdle number 1 today. We did a mini hike to a place called ¨Sascsayhuamin¨which we´ve been calling ¨Sexy Woman¨ cúz that´s as close as we can get to the correct pronunciation. There were about 200 stairs and a steady incline after the stairs. It was a good test for us to see how we would fare in this altitude. The key learning for me? Resist my urge to move at my normal pace or I'll be huffing like a fiend! All good learning...

I have been experiencing some signs of altitude sickness, but nothing to be really worried about. The biggest issue for me has been that my body feels really sluggish. Could be all the carbs I´m eating, though, but whatever! Anyway, I´m really glad I did the hike today. It made me feel better about what I´m going to face on The Inca Trail. BTW, when we tell the locals what we´re doing, they get all excited and talk about how beautiful it is...can´t wait!

So far, I´ve learned a few good tips...

- negotiation for better prices is key to a successful shopping trip

- street meat in foreign countries is BAD, no matter what your brother says

- supporting the locals by giving them a few Peruvian soles every now and then goes a long way to building relationships, which are especially important when finding clean bathrooms

- it´s more the exception than the rule to have your lungs collapse when stepping off a plane at high altitude

My Inner Critic has been having alot of fun with me on this trip. But today, climbing that hill to Sexy Woman was the greatest gift to shut her down!! Tell me poppits, what are you doing to shut down your Inner Critic?

I may not be able to type again, so keep sending those positive vibes!!
(a)yt xox

45 minutes until I leave for the airport!

2010-05-05T08:13:00.000-07:00

And here I sit, watching Glee on my DVR and typing my blog. I'm all packed ... no small feat, thank you very much! I am quite organized for this trip. Well, at least the 5 day climb anyway. I have bags for each day ... no kidding. A bag a day, that's what this trip's come down to!

So, I don't have anything wonderful and wise to say, unfortunately. But, here's a quick update since my last blog:

- I've lost all the weight I gained (5 lbs. - oie!), so I'm back to my total loss of 85 lbs. This was achieved by NOT eating carbs, grains, dairy and tons of sugar! Amazing how quickly it will come off...

- I didn't do any exercising since my 18KM hike. Not sure why, but I did do a workout yesterday. I decided I should do something, even though The Evil One did offer to skip the workout and take me to Cora's for what sounded like ooey-gooey waffles. And, if you can believe it, I actually chose the workout over the ooey-gooey waffles! What's that all about?!? To be truthful, I would have preferred steak and eggs over the waffles, but I'm sure that once I was there I would've succumbed to something decadent. Thankfully, I chose the workout!

- My fear is still there, but it's more like worry. Will the overly-stuffed duffel bag pop one or all of it's zippers?!? Did I bring enough clothes? Are the clothes I packed really dispensible and, if so, will they make enough room to buy all the potential souvenirs I may buy? Do I really have enough baby wipes?!?

Despite my worrying, I am being picked up at 2:00 where I will meet the rest of the Inca Chicks at the airport. I will board the plane and I will land in Lima, then head to Cuzco. I will finish The Inca Trail, getting my picture taken in Machu Picchu with the rest of the gang. I will be smiling and feel fulfilled, even if my hair is out of control curly or (even worse) smashed against my head! It will be the icing on the cake that has been this 10 month journey.

After my workout yesterday, I bumped into Karolina at the GO Train station. She was the perfect person for me to see just before this trip. Karolina has been and continues to be amazingly supportive, upbeat and optimistic. She is always happy, and happy for me. She has high energy and is just really fun to be around. Her parting words to me, said as she was giving me a big hug, were: "You're gonna do just fine, Yvonne." And I believe her...

I am not taking a laptop so, unless I find an internet cafe on The Inca Trail, I will be unplugged until the 19th.

Take care, poppits! And, if you feel like it, feel free to send positive vibes from the 11th - 15th when I'm actually doing the climb - anything will help!

Cheers!
(a)yt xox

It IS possible to slap yourself around

2010-04-27T13:19:00.000-07:00

for the record....

OK, so I fessed up in an earlier blog to not eating properly, like I was testing myself to see just how much of the wrong foods I could eat and not get away with gaining weight. Well, I'm up two pounds from my "experimentation" and the official "smack upside the head" happened last night.

OK, so 2 lbs in the scheme of things isn't alot - I hear ya. BUT what this two pounds represents is more significant. Here's what I noticed about myself....

- not only was I eating food I wasn't supposed to be eating, but I also didn't exercise to the same level I was used to doing. I didn't do ANY stairs last week, nor did I do a hike. Considering I've got a HUGE challenge in a little over a week, that is not a good thing!

- I realized I was far more anxious about my upcoming adventure to Machu Picchu then I was willing to acknowledge. I am VERY nervous about this climb...will I be able to make it? Will I hurt myself? Will my toes fall off or, even worse, will I experience altitude sickness and not be able to even go on the hike?!?

I've been feeling WAY overwhelmed and not acknowledging it. So, here's me acknowledging it....

And here's me telling myself to "suck it up, sister"! Seriously I am SO READY for this hike. And even if I'm not, what am I gonna do with a week to go?!? Yeesh!

I was talking to one of the trainers where I work. His name is Justin and he's from Ireland and has done many crazy-ass adventures. Today he said to me that fear is good as it keeps us alive. Facing our fears is energizing and positive. This from a guy who camped out in hurricane-ridden locations and in between mountains during the dead of winter. Easy for him to say as he probably has no fear! But his point is valid.

I recognize this fear in me. It's the same fear I had just before co-hosting the Child Find Donor Recognition night...and the fear I had just before I did my workshop for the first time. It's a good, nervous fear that keeps me on my toes and ready for anything to occur. When I put this fear into perspective, it helped me to realize that I needed to keep myself focused on what was important to me - eating healthy and exercising. That's when I threw out all of the tempting/yummy foods in my house and snapped out of it!

So, I'm back to two protein shakes and a sensible meal with protein every day. I look forward to the trip, that is just around the corner. No longer am I afraid - well, at 4:40 today I am not afraid. I'm looking forward to finishing the week with control over my eating and exercising like in the crazy fiendish way to which I've become accustomed, including an 18KM hike tomorrow with Marta, my tent mate.

I've realized there are two kinds of fears - the kind that debilitate you and the kind that motivate you. The ones that motivate you, like the ones I'm facing about this trip, push you beyond your comfort zone and scare the bejeebies out of you. These, in my opinion, are the ones that push us to a higher level of greatness.

So tell me, poppits, what fears motivate you? What are you doing to embrace them?!? I say strap a saddle on those fears, climb up and yell "GIDDEE UP!!!"
(a)yt xox

Escapism - what does it really mean?

2010-04-22T18:40:00.001-07:00

Well, here I sit snug-as-a-bug in my bed, having just completed a 7KM walk in one hour. I don't know how that compares to others, but I sure felt like I was clippin' along! It helped to have rockin' good music to listen to!

Truth be told? I HAD to walk to escape myself. It's true, poppits. I have been eating anything that is not nailed down...and then some! I seemed to have lost control of myself for the past week-ish, so my last resort was to just leave. You know you're in trouble when the only way to stop eating is to leave your house (and fridge) for an hour. And the thing is, I've been eating weird stuff...like Kale chips. Know what those are? Dehydrated kale with cheese-like substance sprinkled on them. Honestly, where's the attraction there, and yet, I feel I can't live without them. Oh, and these cocoa nibs...not chocolate nibs, 'cuz those would make sense. No, the craving I have are for these cocoa nibs from some South American country where, apparently, sugar is non-existent. To put them in perspective? The Evil One snacks on these things. They taste like cardboard and yet, I have an addiction.

Really, I need to give my head a shake. The thing is, they lead to other cravings like...Easter candy that is 75% off at Shoppers Drug Mart...and Venti Vanilla Lattes at Starbucks...and "If I Had A Million Flavours" Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream on sale at Loblaws...see where this is going?!?

111 I'VE FALLEN AND I CAN'T GET UP !!!

I wish someone would invent a clapper whereby you clap and your mouth is glued shut for an hour...or a year...

On the positive side, I haven't gained any weight, but I haven't lost any either. I'm plateaued, for the love of God. And it's something I can totally control myself...

And so, I walked tonight...good for me. This would be the kind of escapism that is a good thing. Like watching Glee when your home is a disaster area. It's ok not to do housework then because it is, after all, Glee.

On the positive side, I came home so energized from the walk that I didn't feel like eating anything, so that's a good thing. I suppose there are worse ways to handle an eating frenzy than to exercise, right?!?

Movin' on....

Lots of good stuff happening. First of all, I handed in my practicum binder Wednesday, which means another MAJOR chapter of my coaching certification is done. For the record, this binder was an accumulation of close to one year's worth of work, including all my journalling, my Adler work assignments and my vision as a coach. It was alot of work and something I am quite proud of, to be truthful.

I'm still plugging away for The Inca Trail preparation. Now that my practicum binder is in, I can focus on all of the things I haven't been doing to prepare for the trip - YOWZA! So much to do and time is ticking away...it's all good, though. At the end of the day, I'm getting on the plane, with or without my No Rinse Shampoo!

The exercising is going well. I broke my goal of 2,000 steps, doing 2,100 last week. That was quite exciting, although quite exhausting! Admittedly, running steps isn't the funnest of exercises, but it's great preparation. Next week I'm hiking with a couple of The Inca Chicks. We're going to hike for 8 hours. God help me!

I had two really cool incidents happen this week:
- first one occurred as I was walking down the stairs at the Bloor/Yonge subway stop. A cranky old man told me to "move my skinny ass down the stairs". Apparently he didn't notice all the people moving slowly ahead of me. But that didn't matter. I wanted to French kiss him on the spot but thankfully, sanity prevailed.

- I went to see my doctor for a prescription for my altitude sickness meds. She said "oh my. I would not have recognized you. It must be all that good Lebanese food you're eating." I didn't have the heart to tell her it was fasting and other crazy ass tactics that got me to where I am. Just wait for the next phase, sister!!!

Well, it's time to sign off, poppits. I'm so excited. I just bought the latest book by friend and FAB author, Kathy Buckworth. If you recall, Kathy is the one who wrote The Blackberry Diaries. This latest book is titled, "Shut Up and Eat! Tales of chicken, children and chardonnay" and promises to be equally funny. If you're up for a good, funny read, buy the book and support a friend. I promise you, you won't regret it!

G'night and here's hoping your escapes are fun and productive!!
(a)yt xox

!! DING !! Twitch, twitch...

2010-04-13T20:00:00.000-07:00

OK, that's the sound of the lightbulb going off in my head after realizing that, this time next month, I will be on Day 3 of The Inca Trail.

"Twitch, twitch" is what my left eye is doing right now.

OH-MA-GAWD!!! I am sooooo unprepared for this trip...I need to get my shots, finish off my shopping, decide on the right protein bar, practice peeing in the bushes...do you see why I'm stressed?!? Oh, and by the way, I have a Practicum binder to hand in on the 22nd...

!!!!!! CALGON, TAKE ME AWAY !!!!!

OK, drama over and I'm back....

All kidding aside, I'm getting a little freaked out. Although I've done really well so far, I'm still about 20 lbs from where I wanted to be - not fun! I might be able to get 10 lbs off, but I'm thinkin' the extra 10 will have to come later...unless...I can get my head wrapped around some drastic food reduction measures like a couple of days of only protein shakes..doable...a few more fasting days ... also doable. Or perhaps I should just close my pie hole and stop eating food that isn't on my list! Seriously, it's all within my control. All I need to do is shut my mouth!!

On the exercise front, tonight is the first time in a long time where every muscle in my body is screaming in agony. Today was a good workout! I did squats, without the bench upon which my bum must touch. Instead, there was no bench and I went lower...na-na, na-na, poo-poo! It helped that I didn't have to carry that friggin' 15 lb. bar over my head, I'll admit. Then I did these step ups that made me do one leg at a time and at an elevation I'd never had before. They were quite challenging, but I was so proud of myself for doing them. I had never been able to get that high before.

I felt really proud of myself today. Well, except for the time I lost my balance and almost fell on top of The Evil One. That would've been karmaic, but alas! It didn't happen...

So, now that I'm typing here, I've sorta talked myself away from the ledge a little bit. Physically, I'm doing pretty well and seeing great progression in my stair climbing and my workouts with Werner. That makes me feel better about my state of readiness. I'll feel even better when I take off another 10-15 lbs. before I go. It will just make things easier.

OK, feeling a bit better, poppits...thanx for reading while I freaked out!

I went back and took a boo at some of the older blogs. Ah, "the good, old days"...when I could eat all the protein and nuts I wanted to eat with no guilt from The Evil One...when I took Epsom salt baths after EVERY workout (woosie!)...when I actually wanted to cause bodily harm to someone eating Dairy Queen...oh wait! That was just yesterday! But seriously, it was a great way for me to really see the progression I've made since Feb. of last year. Here are a few highlights:

- my desire to kill innocent, in-the-wrong-place-eating-the-wrong-thing people has decreased significantly
- I haven't walked through Laura Secord with drool on my chin in a while
- I no longer force myself to sit in front of the Dairy Queen Waffle Sundae posters as a sado-masochistic torture tactic

I have now banned myself from both Planet Organic AND Whole Foods, but that's just a little thing, right?!? I have made progress, right?!?

Well poppits, it's time to sign off and get my beauty rest. I will ask you this:

If you were to go back and review this past year, what are you most proud of having achieved?

Noodle it, poppits. I'm sure your list of achievements would be as long as your arm!!

Bask in the cocoon of your success!!
(a) yt

Life in the fasting lane

2010-04-10T05:56:00.000-07:00

Halllooooo from a very sunny-but-cold Mississauga! I'm sitting in my living room again - nice to be back from Phoenix. Of course, seeing the sunshine helps with the transition!

Well, it's 9:00 am Saturday morning, making it the 39th hour of fasting for me. Yes, that's right. As of Thursday evening, 6:00 pm, I have consumed nothing but the following:
- water with lemon
- herbal tea
- more water with lemon
- hot water with lemon
- CALM (Magnesium powder) with hot water

I'm celebrating now by taking my first sip of coffee - no milk but with the blessed Stevia! It feels like heaven to put something into my mouth that has flavour! Food will come later when I meet an old friend for brunch.

So why did I do this? Mostly to determine if I really had the wherewithall to actually do it...and I do! Yeah for me!! Oh, and because The Evil One doubted that I could actually do it. He didn't say it, but I saw the "I'll believe it when I see it" look in his eyes that, quite frankly, ticked me off. Talk about "motivation"...

Now before some of you roll your eyeballs permanently into your head at the thought of my crazy tactics, think about this...

- lots of naturopaths recommend a weekly (or at least monthly) "cleanse". You can do it with natural products that run through you like a steam ship or you can do it by fasting. If, nay, WHEN I do this again, I will add some fibre to the water and really clean out my system. It's safe and natural.

- a reminder, again, that symptoms of starvation don't kick in until at least 48 hours with no food. So the good news is that my body is feeding off itself and believe me, there is still plenty of nourishment left for it to enjoy!

- Fasting is a safe way to move you past a plateau, whether you're shaking up your body or shaking up your mind.

In my experience, there are a couple types of plateaus one can reach:

1) the physical plateau - this is where you are doing everything per usual and not losing weight. For me, a change in diet kick starts the body into more weight loss. Examples I've done to shake up my physical plateaus are: moving to an 8-hour eating window; eliminating a food group; eating 2 protein shakes & 1 meal per day. If you have alot of weight to lose, you need expert help with figuring out how to shake things up in a healthy, safe way. For this help, I will always be grateful to The Evil One who constantly inspires and frightens me with his creative approaches to food plans! And, to make him even more annoying, he won't recommend things to me he hasn't tried himself...no excuses then...dang!

2) the psychological plateau - this is where you're stuck mentally. With me on my weight loss journey, my psychological plateau rears it's ugly head when I go into this "maintenance mode" head space. I test myself by eating different "off limit" foods to see how much I can eat without gaining. This is not good for someone, like me, who still has quite a bit of weight to lose. Psychological plateaus can happen for people in many ways, whether you're having trouble getting your head around losing weight or exercising, or you're stuck in a job you hate or you're just stuck in life. They aren't fun and, quite frankly, I think they are harder to overcome than the physical plateaus.

Admittedly, a fast may not be for everyone. What I do know is that it is something for me. Remember how I said that my definition of "normal eating" had really been shaken up? Well, fasting is likely to become part of my eating regime. I'd like to think of it as a tool in my weight management tool chest, like protein shakes and exercise.

So, what was it like? Hmmm....not so bad, really.

I thought I was gonna be able to have lots of stories for an inspirational and hilarious blog, but alas! It was kind of boring actually. I experienced lots of things like...being dopey, unfocused, really low energy. It's actually hard for me to type this blog because my hands are a bit shakey and I've had to correct more spelling mistakes than usual, but other than that, it's all good. Well, there was incident at the Long Branch GO station where I almost French-kissed a guy who was eating a Hall's cough drop, but I resisted so the only drama that occurred was the drama in my head.

I'm quite proud of the fact that I did it. Proving to myself that I really can do whatever it takes to get to my goal, was necessary to overcome my psychological plateau. Remembering that I am in control of what goes into my mouth (or stays out of my mouth!) is very empowering. I needed something like this fast to push me off that plateau.

So tell me, poppits, what tools do you have in your tool kit to help you get over your psychological plateaus? Trust me, they are within you. Call me if you want help finding them.

Enjoy your weekend!
(a)yt xox
ps--if this blog makes no sense, then blame it on the fact that my body has moved nourishing itself from my fat cells to my brain cells.

The dichotomy of exercise

2010-04-05T09:30:00.000-07:00

Well, hedi-ho poppits and greetings from a wonderfully warm Phoenix!

Today is my last, full day in this area, so I'm taking full advantage of the time here by lounging around the pool with sisters Karen & Dianne. This is the first time I will be able to enjoy the walking pool in Sun City I have heard so much about. Karen, Dianne & Rita love it, so I will experience it today. It's already 70 degrees Farenheit here and it's only 9:30...ah....vitamin D, here I come!!!

It's been a good week for me. John & I did three hikes, and yes, F-bombs abounded for me. It was a challenging hike because the terrain was rough (mostly rocks) and there were big rocks to climb - all great prep for the Inca Trail. While a part of me appreciated having the opportunity to see how well I could do, a bigger part of me cursed my brother for dragging my butt on this hike - like it was all his fault! Mostly it was when I slipped or fell and seriously bruised my thumb when the cursing occurred. See, that's the thing about exercise and me. On the one hand, my logical side understands the great value I receive from exercise - building the muscles, burning the fat, reducing the jiggling of the jiggly bits...I get it! However, when I am going down a large hill, building momentum because of how steep it is and catch my toe on a rock, it's hard for me to see any logic when I'm about to kiss a giant, jagged rock. Know what I'm sayin'?!? It's the F-bomb release that helps me. Of course, I wish I wasn't so profane and that I could say "Gosh" or "oh dear" as I'm tumbling towards the rock, but alas! I can not....good to know about me. If you get embarassed by the use of profanity, I'm probably NOT the person you want to be exercising with. All good learning...

I've been chatting up my sibs here about the value of exercise and dieting, especially in our family. Our genes are riddled with problems on both sides...diabetes, high blood pressure, heart disease..yada-yada...I'm really glad they are exercising, but I've realized that for me to maintain this body (or my smaller body), I simply can not go back to being sedentary. My brother is finding all kinds of fun ways to exercise - roller skating, trapezing, rock climbing, swimming. It's got me thinking that I will want to investigate other, fun ways of keeping fit. Yoga is a good one for me. I'll probably continue to do my hikes, but what else can I do?!?

Well poppits, the sky's the limit for me now! So I just need to be creative and get busy! I think I need to dust off my bike that's been sitting in the storage room for a year and take it for a test run. I'm 40 lbs. lighter than the last time I rode it, so that's gotta help, right? And I think I'll make my exercise "bucket list". It will be made up of all the things-I've-always-wanted-to-do-but-was-afraid-I'd-look-funny-doing-it, like...zip-lining over the rain forest...and hiking the Grand Canyon...and snorkelling...and riding naked in a convertible with George Clooney...oh wait! That's not exercise...:) Anyway, I think you get my point.

So, poppits, if you were to create your own things-you've-wanted-to-do-but-were-afraid-people-would-laugh-at-you "bucket list", what would YOU put on it? More importantly, what would it take for you to start crossing things off that list?!?

Signing off to find a convertible...
(a) yt xox

Body image - oie!!

2010-03-28T14:33:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone! Greetings on this dull and rainy Sunday afternoon.

I am heading to the sunshine and warm temperatures of Phoenix Wednesday, which I'm very excited about! In preparation for the glorious weather, I went bathing suit shopping. Falling out of the suits I had was not an option for me.

Now, it is a known fact that no matter how skinny, fat or perfect your body, EVERY woman hates shopping for bathing suits. It's the idea of seeing ALOT of your pasty white body in harsh, bright lights that makes the experience so dreadful. And that's not even taking into consideration the added layer of complexities known as cellulite, flab or unwanted-and-previously-unseen body hair...'nuf said. Suffice it to say that this kind of shopping is NOT a good time.

While I was stuffing myself into the latest fashions of swimming attire, I did a good assessment of my "new" body. Overall? "Not bad", I'd say, but my body has taken a toll for being so overweight for all of my life. Actually, I believe the medical term is "morbidly obese"....nice, isn't it? You'd think that categorization alone would be motivating enough for me to lose weight. Bad enough I had to worry about whether or not a seat belt would fit me, but I had to deal with knowing I was "deathly fat"...yeesh! What other humiliation could I face?!?

But I digress. And that was the "old" me and the "new" me was now standing in front of the mirror, checking myself out in the bathing suit...

Let's start at the top...face, much thinner ... double chin, gone...good shoulder definition (exact words from my nephew the trainer)... arms, pretty good definition, the smallest they've ever been, but, truthfully, the upper arms will benefit from some more weight and fat loss.

On to the mid-section...I can actually ab muscle definition...now I don't have a six pack...more like a two pack...but the muscles are there and I'm very proud of that. I actually have a waist now and curves...who knew?!? Area of opportunity...like the arms, the tummy will need to shed some more weight and fat...no place to go but down!

OK, bum...I can actually feel the bones in my bum when Nadia asks us to sit on them in yoga. That's pretty cool! Legs...I can definitely see the muscles in my legs and feel my knee bones...awesome! More weight and fat loss for the legs, though, but it's all good and trending in the right direction.

I can feel my spine, ribs and hip bones and see my collar and cheek bones. This is progress. So, as I've been scrutinizing myself with an eye that is trying to be objective, I think "Good job. Keep it up. And if you need a little nip & tuck at the end of it, so be it!"

For the female human population, body image is a very touchy issue. Because of my weight, I've never thought I could be attractive. And hearing the words, "but you've got such a pretty face" doesn't really help, for the record. We are our harshest critic, and I certainly have been very harsh on myself. That's why, when I looked in the mirror this time and said "not so bad", it felt great! Is my body perfect? Uh, no! But it's healthy, active and strong. Realistically, I can't be the size that I was for so many years and expect to slim down into a fat-free body. It just doesn't happen that way. The Evil One says that "it's all about looking good naked". He's right. I guess the definition of "good" is subjective. I'm just grateful to be looking at a slimmer, healthier me.

So tell me something, poppits, what do YOU say when you look in the mirror? If it's something negative, promise me that, tomorrow, you will find at least TWO things you like about yourself when you're naked. Sound weird? Try it, you'll like it...

Here's hopin' for a GREAT bikini summer!
(a)yt xox

Exercise or ... the flu?

2010-03-20T07:00:00.000-07:00

Greetings and salutations from a sneezy & sniffling me!

This me, I'm happy to say is a significant improvement from the chills-fever-even-my-teeth-ache me that was two days ago. Ya know, I've always thought of myself as a healthy person, but this is the 3rd time I've had some kind of bug this flu season and, quite frankly, it's getting annoying! Of course, within the first 3 days of the week, I encountered at least 4 people who were sick, so I'm guessing that had something to do with it.

I went to yoga Wednesday night, per usual, with Nadia the ex-cop-turned-yoga-meister. Seriously, she's an ex-cop. Now I've sung the praises of Nadia a few times to you and I still think she rocks. However, this past Wednesday we were actually jumping. That's right, JUM-PING! As I'm flopping around on my mat, I'm thinking "isn't yoga supposed to be relaxing?" Lemme tell you, I felt no sense of relaxation...not as I was jumping...not as I laid on the mat with a big, ole wooden block in my back...not as I swung my left butt cheek up the wall gripping on to two ropes for dear life....not at any time. My objective for yoga was to build up my muscle strength, beyond the weights that I'm doing with The Evil One. Imagine my surprise when we had some cardio thrown into the mix. Nadia was all Ms-happy-to-be-showing-us-something-different and I was all Ms-grumpy-because-I-was-sweating-and-could-hear-my-flab-floppin....clearly we were on different pages. Anyway, I survived, even the wooden block between my shoulder blades only to come down with some kinda virus that took me out all day Thursday and most of Friday. Poor me, really...

My weight routine has been shaken up a bit too. It has not been a good week for me, dang it! The Evil One has introduced TWO torture tools into my routine:

Torture tool #1 - a 15 lb. bar that I must hold over my head as I do my squats. Fortunately, my bum doesn't have to touch the bench...yet...but the bench is still under me. NOW I hear Werner yelling..."keep your elbows locked"(because they buckle from the weight of the bar)..."head up" (because the arm buckling causes me to lean forward, thereby lowering my head)..."keep you back straight" (because I'm leaning forward). Do you see the vicious circle I'm in?!? It's so unfair and, really, I get no sympathy.

Torture tool #2 - the leg press. Oh, not your-ordinary-everyday kinda leg press. No, this one is where you're lying awkwardly on your back with your legs up in the air. As the weights depresses, your legs come buckling down towards your stomach. It's one of the few times I'm grateful I still have some of my stomach for the protection, otherwise, I'd be pulling steel and broken knee bones out of my mouth. And by the way, if you have even a hint of body gas, it's gonna come out...if ya know what I mean. Just another thing for me to worry about for my next workout...yeesh!

I know, I'm kinda cranky and a little whiny (kinda? a little?), but it hasn't been a good week for me, poppits. I'm just sick and tired of being sick & tired, I guess. So....enough of the grumbling....

Looking at possibilities instead of limitations I say....

* Bring on that 15lb. bar. Soon I'll be be squatting with my elbows locked, head up and bum touching the bench!

* leg press, schmeg press...I won't need my stinkin' belly for protection 'cuz I'll be pressing with legs that could support a truck...arr, arr, arr....

* jumpin' in yoga? Well, ok, that one is still gonna be challenging to do ... but I love a challenge, right?!?

Tomorrow I hike with the Inca Chicks. Only it's a series of climbing stairs. I should be used to this, right? So why am I so nervous?!?

What challenge will YOU take on for the week, poppits?!? Whatever it is, remember I'm right there with ya!
(a) yt xox

ps--tried some sour cream & hemp flavoured Kale chips...mmmm....NOT!!!

The power of objectivity

2010-03-14T19:26:00.000-07:00

Hallooooooo!!!

Greetings, once again, from my boudoir where I'm typin' at 'cha on Sunday night. What a weekend it's been...rainy, windy and not quite fun. Perfect couch potato weekend, I must say. Fortunately, I resisted the temptation and did a workout on both days, since I couldn't get a hike in today. Of course, I did manage to slip in some TV watching for a bit of time..tee hee...

So, let me catch you up on my past week. Truth be told, poppits, it wasn't that fun for me. I have been feeling cranky, stressed and out of sorts for a few weeks now, but this past week was the worst. In a nutshell, I was having what boiled down to a MAJOR crisis of faith for me. Remember that "Leap of Faith" I'd taken back in January 2009? The one that had me soaring off the mountain top landing safely on the padded cushion at the bottom of the mountain? Well, I found myself back on a ledge, freaking out over alot of things....like money, like gaining 1.6 lbs., like questioning my career and life path...blah, blah, blah! Too many things freaking me out to elaborate! Suffice it to say, I was NOT at my best.

Until I had a couple of really good conversations Friday...

Conversation #1 was with my friend, Duane, who's observations were sensitive, compassionate and bang on! He has this way of looking at you and knowing things aren't right. He's done that before, but Friday was different because he wasn't letting me off the hook..which is what I needed. His gentle prodding allowed me to actually talk about my issues, which helped. Quite frankly, he opened the flood gates for ...

Conversation #2 with Elizabeth, my mentor coach and friend. And by "flood gates", I mean sobbing-nose-running-eye-puffy-boo-hooing-like-a-baby flood gates. It wasn't pretty and I'm glad our SKYPE conversation didn't have video. Elizabeth helped me to really name my concern and, through her coaching expertise and genuine concern, guided me to the realization that IT'S OK for me to have fears and stress and anger. Heck! I didn't even realize I was angry until Elizabeth made the observation...yeesh! That explains why I almost took down the poor construction guy who was holding up traffic. I mean, was it his fault I was cutting it close to get the GO Train and there were no parking spots at the station?!?

ANYWAY, when I spoke to Elizabeth, I was one big tormented ball of fear and anger. Poor thing! She got an earful! But at the end of the conversation, I was feeling closer to my old self than I'd been feeling in a while. When I hung up with Elizabeth, I had said that I'd moved closer to the edge of the mountain and had 1/2 of my left foot off the ledge.

So, what did Duane & Elizabeth do? They provided a safe space for me to vent anger and express fears. They also provided objectivity around the conversation. To be truthful, I didn't like feeling the way I was, but I recognize it's normal, and part of the journey I am on. Heck! I can't be all happy and positive ALL the time, can I?!?

So what's the learning for me here? Hmmm.....
- anyone experiencing transition in their life will go run the gamit of emotions at some point. It's natural and part of the process. Go with it, but recognize when you've been in the darkness for too long. Remember there are people who love you and want you to come outside and play with them.

- when you have caring, intuitive, supportive friends in your life, you've got it all!

- It's ok not to be happy & optimistic all the freakin' time! Clearly my food cravings and imaginative death scenes for The Evil One have proven one can not be "Sister Mary Sunshine" all the time...right?!?

- If you get mad at God, He doesn't mind.

- If you get mad at the innocent construction worker trying to protect you from the possibility of a giant crane falling on your car and crushing you, he'll flip you off.

Alrighteythen, here I go, poppits. I'm back up against the wall of the mountain. This time, however, it's only so I can get a running start to my leap off ledge.

!!!!! WAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO !!!!!!!

(a) yt xox

What is your definition of "success"?

2010-03-06T10:26:00.000-08:00

Hola!

What a FAB day I'm staring at...sunshine, not a cloud in the sky. I'm so down with the Vitamin D!!

OK, so I've been thinking ALOT about how I'm defining success for my health journey. Oh sure, the declining numbers on the scale and the shrinking clothes size certainly help. However, for me, this journey has been about feeling better, physically and mentally, about myself. I'm finding this "feeling better" is translating into so many different things. Like....

- when I go through the turnstiles on the subway, my bum no longer touches the sides of the turnstile.

- not overflowing onto the next person's seat when I watch a movie or go to the live theatre

- Crossing my legs without having to hook my foot onto something for support

See where I'm going with this? Let's be clear, I really enjoy having a normal blood pressure and blood tests that no longer threaten diabetes and/or cholesterol problems. However, it's the little things that affect my life and reduce my embarrassment that really get my mojo going.

There was a time, when I was at my highest weight and size (size 26, btw), traveling for business. On one horrific flight, I actually couldn't do up the seat belt. I was just short of connecting. After much struggle and feeling the humiliation of having everyone watch my struggle (I was in an aisle seat), I had to get up and ask the flight attendant for an extension. It was absolutely humiliating for me. It only happened once, but I remember the fear I faced every time I sat down on an airplane, wondering if the seat belt was gonna fit me. So, for me, success is being able to wear the seat belt AND have extra length for good measure!

Here's the deal....if I can do this, so can you. When I first started on this journey, my weight, size and health issues were OVERWHELMING...like I'd never be able to see the end. And now? I'm in the home stretch of achieving my Machu Picchu goal. It's been a long time coming and, well, I've shared the struggles that I faced...STILL face...but it's worth it.

So I ask you, poppits, what is your definition of success...and how badly do you want it?!? 'Cuz whether or not you believe it, it really is within you to achieve. Trust me on this. You have everything you need to reach your goal. And when you don't feel you can pull it off, you have resources you can call upon to remind you. One of those resources is ME...just call me...seriously....

I've got a spring in my step and joy in my heart as I head out to meet someone for coffee. How are you feeling, poppit?!?
(a) yt xox

A week of ups & downs!

2010-03-03T18:44:00.001-08:00

Good evening, poppits! I'm typin' at 'cha LIVE from the coziness of my bed. Man! I love wireless internet!

It's about 9:45 pm and I'm feeling really tired. I think it's because I worked out with The Evil One today and did yoga with Nadia tonight. Can I just say right now how much I love doing yoga with Nadia? She ROCKS it people! First of all, the yoga studio she has in her basement is awesome and, as an instructor, she pushes you without killing you. The good news is that Nadia no longer has to push my shoulders with her feet anymore as I'm actually able to do the moves myself! This is good news to me!

Tonight she did some wacky, wrap-our=knees-with-a-belt-and-lift-our-pelvis-while-squishing-in-our-shoulders-while-linking-our-hands-under-our-elevated-bums thing. Get the picture? Well, although there were no mirrors, I can't imagine it was a pretty sight! It was a great stretch, though, even if I felt like I was doing some kind of weird bondage sex position! Easy girl, it's just yoga....

As the title suggests, this past week has been a series of highs and lows for me. All the highs seem to come when I'm out with friends or clients...networking, talking, listening and generally having a good time. I had many "reconnections" that reminded me of what wonderful people there are in my life. Duane & Aubrey constantly remind me of how much I am appreciated and respected for being me; my coaching peeps like Panagiota, Maggie, Michael and my practicum compadres remind me of how important the journey we are on together really is...and that it's ok that I'm struggling and not perfect! These messages were so important for me to hear this week as I've been challenged on my abilities to grasp the process of being a good coach. I was also inspired by the creativity and resourcefulness of these people. How they manage to pull themselves up from adversity is inspirational!

And, yes poppits, there were other highs...like the FIERCE patriotism I felt during the Olympics, especially the men's hockey game between the US & Canada. I'm sure everyone reading this blog has heard about the outcome so I'll spare you any details. I will say, however, that the best part of the game for me was the four text message conversations I had during the game! Two of my nieces were texting me...what fun! We all agreed the suspense was brutal and let's just say that we were not above the use of profanity to express our feelings!

The weight loss journey has also been filled with ups and downs. I am so pleased with the progress I've made. My skinny jeans are on & comfortable, and I feel good when I wear them! I am working out ... HARD ... several times/week. And yes, Werner challenges me, but I'm challenging myself as well! For example, I did more stairs Tuesday, despite that my knees were a little sore and my back was a little twingy. I just did some really good stretching and voila! Nothing more to whine about! So, I did 800 stairs where I ran up them. Admittedly, the last 200 stairs were more like walking kinda fast, but I did them. I told myself that, every time I approach my own workout, I must go beyond the previous one...and that's what I did. I must admit that I'm getting bored with just doing stairs, but I know I need to keep at it as the benefit outweighs the boredom...blah, blah, blah...Hey! maybe I'll do them naked and see if that shakes things up a little bit! At the very least it will give the guys across the street something to talk about while on their smoke break!

Easter is around the corner. You know how I know it? 'Cuz all my favourite Easter candy is back in the stores, taunting me. Not that I've noticed...everyday...as I walk through the store while I wait for the GO Train...but Laura Secord has their awesome cream eggs out now. And...O-M-G!! I just saw this pecan caramel fudge nut egg as well. Lemme tell you that one is SCREAMING my name! I pray to The Big Guy Upstairs that they sell out fast because I'm just not sure how long I can resist that one...seriously...

I'm struggling with the diet too. For some reason, I'm feeling really carnivorous...like I want to rip meat right off the bones. Of course it's cooked and has a nice sauce to it. Come on, people. I said "carnivorous" not "barbaric"! I really need to stay focused in this last little bit. Although I'm down 75 lbs. it's really getting harder for the weight to come off. Reality check, though, is that I KNOW I can do it if I stay focused on the diet...and stay away from the granola mix and the "Awesome Almond" mix at Planet Organic. Yeesh, I should just stay away from Planet Organic until after Machu Picchu! It's bad news when you have to ban yourself from an entire store!

Once again, I am reminded that I am in complete control of my own destiny on this one. I have no physical problems preventing me from losing weight or exercising, so I can decide when I want to lose the weight...simply by shutting my pie hole! Right?!? Eat the right foods, in reasonable quantities, only when I'm hungry and the weight will come off. Simple right? So why can't I do it?!? Years and years of bad habits and weird, sabotaging thoughts...sigh...

OK, thanx for sharing your week's ups & downs, Yvonne, but whats the "bottom line" here? Fair point...here's the message I want to leave you with..it's really deep, too!

Life is the best, most awesome roller coaster ride you can ever be on. You choose whether you want to clutch the railings with fear, crying like a baby OR whether you let your hair down, raise your arms and yell "WAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" all the way.

What's it gonna be, poppits...."boo hoo" or "WAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"?!?
(a) yt xox

To push or not to push...that is the question today!

2010-02-23T18:02:00.000-08:00

Greetings & salutations, poppits!

I'm sitting at home, watching the Canada/Germany Olympic Men's Hockey Game. For those of you who know me well, you're asking the question..."who are you and what have you done with Yvonne?" It's true, I've never been a hockey fan. My distaste for it started when I watched, at the tender age of 8, a former brother-in-law get rammed up against the boards, ending up with a bloody mouth. That didn't go over well, with an impressionable, melodramatic child such as myself. That distaste later continued when I was ... um ... older than 8...attending an Edmonton Oilers game while living in Edmonton. I got to see "The Great One" on ice, which admittedly was cool. However, I had "great" seats and felt my stomach flip as I saw two REALLY BIG players smash up against the glass in front of me (we had very good seats, apparently). For the rest of the game, my view was blocked with the combination sweat/blood that was smeared up against the windows. My stomach flips just thinking about it...sigh...

ANYWAY, I'm feeling very Canadiana hoping that our boys in red & white take out the humiliation of losing to the U.S. on the German butts tonight. Oh sure, it's all about the game...it's not about winning or losing...sportsmanship is important...yada-yada. At the end of the day, hockey is Canadian and dammit we'd better recover and win a freakin' medal.

Here's me stepping down from my soap box....

Re: whether or not one should push oneself...back to the question. This is the dilemma I faced as I approached my self-directed workout. I knew I'd be doing stairs. The challenge was, the last time I did stairs (Friday and I did 1200, btw!) my back felt "twingy" all weekend and was thrown out completely by Sunday. I had to miss a hike with the Inca Chicks in the morning and, believe it or not, I was actually disappointed to miss it...write that one on the calendar!

Remembering the twinging back weekend, I wondered just how far I should push myself. Then I thought about some key successes....
1) I'm officially 75 lbs. lighter as of this morning.
2) I'm wearing my newest "skinny" jeans. These are the jeans I bought in Phoenix over Christmas...on sale and a size lower than what I was wearing. This size, by the way, is the lowest I've been since high school and FIVE dress sizes from when I started this journey.

With these victories in mind, I said ... "Oh yeah, baby, I'm pushin' myself today!"

And I did...

And I feel FREAKIN' AWESOME!!! Well, actually, I'm REALLY sore, but I feel GREAT about how I pushed myself!

Today's workout consisted of the following...
- 5 reps of 100 for a total of 500 stairs where I did double steps (ya know, 2 at a time)
- 5 reps of 100 for a total of 500 stairs where I RAN UP the stairs

Here's what I learned:
- I can do anything I make up my mind to do
- when I challenge myself, I rise to the occasion
- I can actually see my heartbeat in my neck when it's pounding like crazy (OK, that was a little scary for me!)

What an amazing feeling, that's all I can say.

I was thinking about this blog and what to say, on the many occasions while I recovered my breath. Thinking about the blog helped me from passing out on the spot. I got to thinking about so many people in my life who rise to challenges daily, providing such inspiration to me...

- friends like Brian, Emmanuel & Panagiota who are struggling to pursue their passion & stay positive, despite the financial challenges building a business can bring

- my coaching clients who consistently amaze me with their creativity, inspiration and true grit

- my coaching peeps who offer such tremendous insight and honesty, making me want to up my game in the coaching arena... all the time!

- my awesome family & friends who consistently and constantly show me unconditional love and support

Wow! With all this support, 1,000 stairs seem easy-breazy, don't they?!?

What's challenging you, poppits?!?
(a) yt xox

SHAMELESS PLUG, TIME!!! I am offering a workshop...see below and contact me if you're interested!!

DEFINING YOUR UNIQUE SELLING PROPOSITION
(In a smorgasbord of talent, what is your MEAT?)

WHAT IS YOUR "Unique Selling Proposition"?
- it sets you apart from everyone else
- it defines who you are as a person
- it proves your value to an organization in conjunction with your work accomplishments

WHAT IS THE WORKSHOP?
- a strength-based approach that combines self-reflection exercises with group discussion

WHO WILL BENEFIT?
- anyone experiencing a career change
- anyone anticipating a career change
- anyone looking for a new job

WHAT WILL YOU WALK AWAY WITH?
- a unique perspective on yourself
- at the very least, a rough draft of your own Unique Selling Proposition

WHAT TO BRING?
- something to write with
- something to write on
- a copy of your latest resume and cover letter
- an open mind

WHAT HAVE PAST PARTICIPANTS SAID?
- "thought-provoking"
- "inspirational"
- "extremely worthwhile"

WHEN?
- Saturday, March 27th; 9:00 am to noon

WHERE?
- 401 Bay Centre, 16th floor, Toronto
(corner of Queen & Bay - accessible via TTC through Queen Subway stop; parking underground)

COST?
- $100 in advanced
- $150 at the door (cash only)
(register early as space is limited)

HOW TO REGISTER?
- email Yvonne Toma at yvonne@ymtStrategies.com

Is it possible to appreciate EVERYTHING?!?

2010-02-18T18:49:00.000-08:00

That's the mood I'm in right now, truth be told! How different is my mood NOW?!? Just 2 days after my last I-hate-myself-'cuz-I'm-unmotivated-and-cranky blog entry. Do you think I could be manic? Maybe a maniac...

Well, it's been a coupla days of networking, finalizing some business and incredible opportunities. Plus, I've been exercising and eating better so that always helps. You know, I have to admit that I've got some AMAZING people in my life, and these past two days have helped me to realize that even more. Lemme tell you what's been going on....

So, as I mentioned before, there have been some great synergies happening in my life. Opportunities presenting themselves as a result of my networking. These opportunities align very well with my vision around my business...the three "pillars" of ymt Strategies, so to speak. After having identified and articulated just what the HECK I want to do, I can see lots of great things happening to help me get there. It's all very cool if you sit back and look at it objectively. I'm happy to share the synergies with anyone who wants to buy me a coffee, so just let me know. In a nutshell, what I'm getting is not only possibility, but actual financial return...i.e. some dough to come my way as a result. This is welcomed and appreciated for sure!!

What's even cooler, if you can believe it, are the synergies/ideas that I'm getting around my journey and everything attached to it...this blog, the book, seminars, etc. I'm feeling like this sharing my story has become my "calling"...in the area of coaching, around developing workshops, in holding support groups. I'm getting all sorts of messages that this is what I should continue to focus on. In sharing my story and my vision of this blog and it's impact, I'm getting constant reinforcement that my story will help alot of other people...along with some very practical ideas on how to promote my message! It's all really neat to see.

OK, so maybe some of you are reading this and thinking "is she for real?!?" I hear ya and wonder about that myself. BUT this is where the "Leap and the net will appear" comes into play. It's the peaceful feeling in my heart that my story can help others. It's the burning passion I feel around helping others find their own strength and resources to help themselves. And let's face it, poppits, each and every one of you has what it takes to be totally freakin' AWESOME at whatever it is you want to do.
This whole everyone-has-awesomeness belief is what drives me to get up in the morning. To help people discover their own inner awesomeness.

OK, so maybe my "passion" is a tich overwhelming...I get it and will stop now. Quite frankly, I don't know where I get my strength to even type, given I had a workout with The Evil One today and am facing more stairs tomorrow. I'm up to doing 1,000 stairs now, which is quite a feat. But I'm beginning to question my sanity on that one. Oh sure, I can see the value of doing stairs for Machu Picchu...and yes, stairs help with the cardio and endurance...and yes, even though I get bruises on my chest, carrying the 15 lb. dumbells on my shoulders is good for me...blah, blah, blah...at the end of the day, it's not fun. It's boring. Know what I mean, Jelly Bean?!?

HOWEVER, I am facing another hike to Rattlesnake Point Sunday. Remember this hike, poppits? This is the one where we had to climb a gate to get into and out of the hiking area. Well, guess what? We're going to hike that same gate Sunday and I'm not looking forward to it. Oh, I'll get over it, no doubt with the support of the mysterious hands on bum and the angel hands lifting my leg, but I'll still feel like a boob at the end of it. The good news is that the 60-something woman who kicked my ass hopping over it the last time won't be there Sunday. Some consolation, eh?!?

WAIT!! I forgot about my commitment to look at possibilities instead of limitations...so let me reframe my view on approaching the dreaded gate...here's what's gonna happen. I'm gonna put my leg up on the gate. Then I'm gonna get the strength from all the squats and step ups I've been doing and hoist my arse to the top of the gate. Then I'm gonna feel the benefit of the stretching and yoga I've been doing and LIFT my leg over the gate onto the other side. Then I'm gonna swing my other leg over the gate and jump, gracefully, onto the other side. OK, so gracefully might be a long shot...I'm gonna jump onto the other side without falling on my face. Feeling better now....

Well, it's 10:15 at night and goodness knows I can use some beauty sleep, so it's time I dragged my sore bum and legs to bed.

Here's wishing you pleasant dreams of possibilities, prosperity and peace, poppits! Oh, and maybe Brad or Angelina might join in your dreams for a little fun time!!

Cheers!
(a) yt xox

Back home & a little freaked out...

2010-02-16T07:45:00.000-08:00

Hello everyone!

I'm typing from my couch this gray morning and, truthfully, feeling a little freaked out. I'm checking out my bank account, adding up my bills and beginning to hyperventilate a little. Even looking at my "Leap and the net will appear" plaque hasn't helped yet. It's just the time of year...taxes, health insurance renewal, yada-yada...it just makes me ask the question "where is the money gonna come from?!?"

OK, so in reviewing my reality, it's really not so bad. While I don't like depleting my savings altogether, at least I have savings to draw upon. Also, I can always sell my condo, pay off my debts and live with family until I get better situated. Oh yeah, I can always put the dream aside temporarily and go back to work full-time, should it be required. So, I guess I'm not so bad off. At least I have options. I feel really badly for the MANY people in this world who aren't as lucky as I am - who don't have the family support I have or the savings to draw upon or the prospect of some contract work on the horizon (God willing!). OK, so now I feel better...thanx for listening, poppits!I did say this was a "gritty" perspective on my journey, didn't I?!?

I have decided it's time to get off my arse and get busy doing things to move me forward...enough with the pity party already! For some reason, I am finding January and even this part of February kinda tough. It's been tough getting motivated and all of the things I wanted to do just didn't seem to get done. Things like...

- picking a date, renting space and conducting my Defining Your Unique Selling Proposition workshop. Logically, I know this workshop will benefit anyone who is thinking about a career change or just wants to get focused on themselves..their passion, defining who they are outside of the job. It's a great workshop and I'm excited about the possibilities of it, SO WHAT'S TAKING ME SO LONG TO SCHEDULE IT?!?

- creating and holding a "support" group for those of us on a journey to good health. I know I could sure use a positive, supportive group of people who are going through the same struggles I am, SO WHY DON'T I JUST SEND OUT THE EMAIL AND GET IT STARTED!?

- going through the last of the boxes of stuff that are sitting in my bedroom, cluttering my space? There aren't alot of them and I know I'll feel better once they are gone, SO WHAT'S IT GONNA TAKE FOR ME TO SPEND A 1/2 DAY TO CLEANSE MY SPACE?!?

Honestly, is anyone else feeling a lack of motivation or am I the only one who can't seem to get herself together?!? I see so many positive things going on in my life, and yet I just can't seem to shake up myself! Sometimes I feel like I am my own worst enemy....yeesh!

OK, 'nuf whining already!

Today is the first day of the rest of my life..and what a life it is and will be! I'm gonna get off this couch, brush my teeth (yes, it's 11:00 and I still haven't brushed my teeth) and face The Evil One with zeal...well, at least face him with neutrality...ok, wishing for neutral is even pushing it. Did I mention that I'm doing squats now? 100 of them...oh, and he puts a bench under me and if my bum doesn't touch the bench when I squat it doesn't count. Once again, I am reminded of why he is called "The Evil One"...

Chin up, teeth brushed, ear muffs on I am facing today...

I wish you focus, motivation and lots of bum-touching-bench successes, poppits!!
(a)yt xox

Hello and happy Family Day weekend!

2010-02-12T18:40:00.000-08:00

Greetings from Chatham, poppits!

As appropriate for the holiday, I am spending the weekend with sisters Lorry & Bea, brother Tom, Sister-in-law Dianne and niece Lisa. As a matter of fact, I'm sitting in front of my bro's big ass TV watching the opening ceremonies of the Olympics. It's all very cool. I just saw the athletes from Georgia walk through...very sad! Note that the Native & Inuit dancers have been bouncing for the whole time...yowza! Now THAT'S stamina!

Well, it has been an AMAZING week for me. Lots of great stuff happening as a result of the networking meetings I've been having. I feel truly blessed at the opportunities that are being presented to me. It's like everything I've visualized and imagined for myself is coming to fruition. It's WAY cool. The old me...the one who focused on limitations and not possibilities... would've worried about how things are coming together..ya know, when is the bubble going to burst?!?

Not so ....the NEW me is all about the possibilities I imagined that are now coming to be. It's so cool how things are working out. I have opportunities for some great contracting positions, both on my own and with another company. When they work out, I will be having a rockin' good time!

In addition to the cool stuff happening on the work front, I met an amazing woman. Her name is Donna Messer and she owns a company called "ConnectUs Canada". She's the networking guru in Canada. I had the privilege of meeting Donna this week and she gave me some GREAT ideas for promoting my blog and my climb of The Inca Trail. The ideas just flowed from her like a wonderful waterfall. It was so amazing to see how her mind just clicked and put out these great thoughts....impressive!

So, as I've been riding high this week, I've been grappling with the concept of what is and is not in my control...and what I actually WANT to have in my control. For example, what I put in my mouth and how I exercise is all within my control (well, except for when I'm with The Evil One and have ZERO control). How I interact with people I network with is also within my control. What isn't in my control is what those people do next for me. For example, one of the opportunities I received was from a contact I met last week with whom I had no work synergy at all. However, I made a good enough impression on him where he referred me to one of his clients for work that wasn't within his area of expertise. See what I'm sayin', poppits?!? I'm not really sure where I'm going with this, other than to say that my plaque has reappeared on my kitchen counter. My constant reminder that the really important stuff is better left in the hands of a greater force...God, The Universe, Karma...whatever you believe. Just remember....

LEAP AND THE NET WILL APPEAR!!!

Wishing you a safe and fun Family Day!
(a)yt xox

Hot spot, my eyeball!!

2010-02-08T13:10:00.001-08:00

Well, here I sit in a Second Cup at the corner of University & Front, after taking 15 minutes to try and connect. The "hot" in "hotspot" is feeling kind of lukewarm, truth be told. But enough complaining...sigh...

Hello poppits! It's the second week of February and reality check on my Machu Picchu goal has set in...it's not so bad! Let's see...

- I realized I have only TWENTY-FIVE more pounds to lose (vs. the THIRTY-FIVE I originally thought). The good news about math not being my strong subject is that I lost 10 lbs. without doing a darn thing! If only life were really like that...

- in less than three months, I will be in Peru, 25 lbs. lighter and ready to climb the Inca Trail. YOWZA!! I can't believe it is as close as it is.

I've been hiking with the Inca Chicks each week. Truth be told, I'm one of the few that have consistently showed up each week. I can really see progress in my hiking. We did the Sixteen Mile Creek again this week. If you recall, this was the one I wandered around for 2 1/2 hours until the mother/daughter angels found me and drove me to my car. Now I can climb the steep hills without having to stop. My heart still pounds, but I make it up the hills each time with no break. Also, I'm able to do the 62 stairs (yes, I've counted them!) with no problem. I'm telling you, climbing those stairs each week has really helped. I know I have a way to go, but let me tell you, I am celebrating how far I've come! Seriously people, if I can do this at my age of 29 Euros, ANYONE can!

As I work my way through my coaching practicum, I'm in constant reflection mode. It's good as it really makes me focus on what I'm doing well and where I need to improve. It's confidence boosting...well, most of the time...:)

So, I thought I'd take a moment to jot down a few key learnings from my journey to good health:

1) Everyone has their own definition of "normal". I've learned to modify my view of what is normal for me in terms of what goes in my mouth and when. The key is to understand what works for you and, work it bay-bee!!

2) Dieting without exercise just won't cut it. As much as I absolutely HATE working out, it's become a steady part of my life and always will be. You may be able to get away with just diet changes initially, but trust me, soon enough you will have to get your butt off the couch and onto a treadmill if you're gonna achieve and maintain your optimal weight!

3) Surround yourself with positive, supportive people...the folks who want to see you succeed. At the end of the day, if you don't have at least one person you can go to to be your cheerleader (and you WILL need a cheerleader), then your journey will be really hard. BTW, you can ALWAYS count on me for that support...whatever your journey happens to be! Heck, if you ask me nicely, I may even put on a cheerleader outfit for you. Just don't ask me to do the splits...

4) Be patient with yourself. And, if you're cleansing or fasting, be patient with everyone else! Seriously,it's important to realize you're not perfect. For me, falling off the wagon during my "binges" is just par for the course. I have to forgive myself and accept that it's gonna happen. The key is to figure out the triggers that put you over the edge and to try and prevent them from happening again.

5) You are the one in control. I know it sounds basic, but what an "aha" for me! The Evil One asks me all the time "How badly do you want it?" I think what he's trying to get through my thick skull is that I am the one in control of my journey. I control what goes into my mouth, when I exercise, what I do about the gzillion cravings I seem to have...yada, yada. If one can look at that objectively (vs. feeling guilty after shoving an entire chocolate cupcake into your mouth), it's quite empowering. So poppits, eat the cupcake or not eat the cupcake...know that decision is totally up to you!

I'm sure there will be more learnings to write about, but for now, those are the ones that stand out for me. I'd be curious to hear YOUR thoughts!!

Go forth and be the ROCKIN' awesome person you are!!
(a)yt xox

-

Am I sweet enough?!?

2010-02-04T05:28:00.000-08:00

Apparently not, since I can't seem to ween myself off of the sweeteners - artificial and Stevia!

Hello poppits! Happy Thursday!

OK, so here's the dilemma on the sweeteners. Intellectually I understand the evils of the artificial sweeteners. Yes, even Splenda, a sugar derivative, is bad for you. However, I just can't seem to get off of them. I put them in my coffee & tea, in my protein shake, up my nose...kidding, but don't think I haven't thought about it! It's a classic "Catch-22"...you eat them because you crave them and you crave them because you eat them. How does one break the cycle of this madness?!?

Well, here's what I'm committing to do....

I will, by the end of February, work my way off of the sweeteners. We're talking, nothing in the coffee or tea...nothing in the protein shakes...no yogurt...no gum or breath mints...oie! Mental note...don't get too close to me after I've had coffee. I imagine the halitosis will be brutal and I won't be using any mints or gum! Then, I figure it will take at least 2-3 weeks for me to stop craving them, so by end of March I should be fine - definitely something to look forward to!

I'm guessing I'll need an attitude adjustment as well. For example, I'll need to appreciate the taste of the coffee and not the sweetness of the coffee. Shouldn't be a problem for coffee and tea, but the shakes. Remember The Evil One said they tasted "like ass"?!? Well, Stevia helps to reduce the level of ass-ness. Oh well, I guess I'll just have to suck it up and fight the battle. It will be worth it.

So, last night I did another yoga class. Nadia, the instructor, is great. She really knows her stuff and is quite supportive, ensuring we don't force ourselves into positions that will hurt us. Last night, however, I saw another side of Nadia. I think I'll call her "Little Evil One" or "Sister of The Evil One". She pushed us like you wouldn't believe. Oh sure, we didn't strain our bodies, but that doesn't mean we didn't force them into positions that were untested... well at least for me! And there was Nadia, standing over us, not letting us off the hook, despite our moaning, heavy breathing and cursing under the breath! Although she never called us "wimps", I could feel that coming from her....

At one point, I was having a hard time moving my hips close to the wall, moving into our final stretch of the night. We were on our backs and had to elevate our legs against the wall for the ultimate stretch. I was having problems because we had this pillow under our backs and, for some reason, I couldn't maneuvre myself into the right position. I just couldn't get my butt close enough to the wall! Anyway, it was really awkward for me and Nadia decided to "help" me. Picture this....

- I'm on my back, legs elevated, holding ropes that are coming out from a wall.
- I'm sweating (of course) and starting to get nervous giggles. Oh, and feeling kinda gaseous, so feeling the pressure of not letting go of the gas...know what I mean?!?
- the two other participants are already in position, bums against the wall with legs extended and I'm the only one unable to master the move into the position.

Can you feel my anxiety level?

- Nadia goes behind me and starts to "help" me by pushing my shoulders to the wall...with her feet!!
- Her feet get caught in my hair, so as I move closer to the wall, my hair is being pulled and I feel the pain of embarrassment AND the pain of my hair pulling!
- I begin my nervous giggling and feel the mounting pressure of the gas...

Then, my bum hits the wall... pressure ends...no more nervous giggles... and I can feel the burn of the stretch...

And yoga's supposed to relax you?!?

Well, poppits! I'm off to catch the GO Train for a day of coaching, networking and working out. I'm gonna try and get to 900 steps today...wish me luck!

Cheers!
(a)yt xox

"enough is enough!"

2010-01-30T10:40:00.001-08:00

That's what I told myself this morning about the blog avoidance problem I've been experiencing. First it was related to a "funk" I was going through, now it's just plain laziness!

But, here I am....

Hallooooooooooooooooo!!!!

I'm on my couch, listenin' to the Disco Brunch on boom 97.3...nothin' like Donna Summer to bring up the spirits! Sing it, sister!!!

So, what's been shakin' for the past two weeks....well....

- down more weight bringing my total loss to 70 lbs. It's nice to be able to say that. It's a good, round number! I am only 35 lbs. from my Inca Trail goal...YOWZA!! What a great feeling it is to be so close! That's only 4 lbs/week, which is totally doable.

- exercise program is back on track for 3x/week at the gym. We've bumped it up a notch, given The Evil One's commitment to "ride my ass" until I reach my goal. He's quite effective at that, btw. When I work out on my own, I climb stairs carrying weights. I'm up to 500 stairs, with an end goal of 2,000. I'm told that's equivalent to climbing the CN Tower. Yes, I AM nuts!

- I've been hiking every week with The Inca Chicks. What a great group of women! I'm really enjoying getting to know everyone. And talk about "fit"...these women kick my booty when it comes to these hikes. I can barely keep my heart from pounding out of my throat, while most of these women (who are ALL older than me, btw) barely work up a sweat! On the one hand, it's embarrassing. On the flip side, it's really motivating me to keep going. They're all so supportive. It's really great.

- I've had some ups and downs on the "trying to make money" thing...more downs than ups, but I'm not giving up. I've got some great networking meetings coming up, for which I am most appreciative. I know things are going to work out and that, wherever I land, it's gonna rock my world! Sometimes, though, I need a gentle reminding of that....feel free to nudge me along anytime!

All in all, I'm back to being me, which makes me feel pretty good. I'm really trying to stay focused on my commitment to viewing things as a possibility vs. a limitation. I've had some successes in this area, for example...

- when my next food adventure was presented by The Evil One (a 9 day cleanse which reflects 7 days of shakes only & 2 days of "near fasting"), my first reaction was "Hmmmm, better not make any plans with friends I want to keep." That's improvement, right? I actually didn't put up resistance and said to Werner "Bring it on!" But I know myself well enough to know that I'll be in Crankyland for those 9 days and avoiding humankind is really the best thing for everyone. I'll let you know when the cleanse begins so you know to stay away...you're welcome!

- When I was presented with the physical challenge of doing 2,000 stairs, instead of smacking The Evil One upside the head with the 15 lb. weight I was carrying, I smiled at him and walked away. OK, so I was cursing him in my mind, BUT I DIDN'T THROW THE WEIGHT AT HIM! On the contrary, I challenged myself to do two more reps on the stairs, increasing from 300 to 500 steps that day. BOO-YA, BABY!!

So you see, things are improving for me. Although I don't LOVE the idea of them, I no longer dread the Sunday morning hikes in the cold, even when it's -8 like it was today. Instead of calling in sick, I get my bum out of bed and throw on my 20 layers of clothing, waddling to the car with the anticipation of staying warm as I sweat my ass off from keeping pace with the rest of The Inca Chicks.

I had a bit of a setback at last week's hike, I must now confess to poppits! This is an example of where I saw the limitations first. As a matter of fact, I saw absolutely NO possibilities whatsoever!

Picture me this...

I'm driving with Marta & Dawn to our hike at Rattlesnake Point (in Burlington). We pull up to a dead end road and park. As all the other hikers arrive, Marta says, "The entrance is over here. We just have to hop the fence to get in."...just like that, real casual. Of course, I start to get eye twitches and ask "Are you serious? We have to hop a fence?!?" I'm sure I was borderline hysterical because my voice sounded like I was 6 years old...or drunk.

Marta proceeds to hop over the fence, demonstrating to all "how easy" it is to get over the fence..."put your left foot here (on top of a steel bar), grab here (a big ass log), lift your right leg over (another, higher steel bar), put it here (in the same, tiny space where your left foot is), then push off and jump down (without falling on your face)."

Admittedly, she did make it look easy, but I wasn't fooled, knowing that Marta is about 100 ft. tall and in FAB shape. Following closely and easily behind her was Dawn, also 100 ft. tall and in good shape, who whipped over with no problem. Then came Ellen Mary, who is short and in her 60s'. She had a little trouble getting up, but she did it. So I thought "Hmmmm, maybe it isn't so bad"....seeing possibilities (but forgetting that Ellen Mary was one of the Mt. Kili hikers), I take my turn....

- Lift left foot onto bar...ok...
- lift bum up to grab big ass log...nope...step back down, giggle in embarassment
- try again to lift bum, grasping desperately at the log...feel mysterious hands on my bum...up I go!
- lift my right leg over second, higher steel bar...not quite...giggle and curse under my breath...
- Now I'm sweating and start to lift my leg again...feel mysterious hand on my boot helping to lift my right leg over the bar....
- try to put both feet into same spot on bar...not happening! Seriously, how can other people with their hiking boots fit both feet in the same spot?!?
- more sweating and cursing...then I just say "F@$K it" and with as little grace as you can imagine, I hop off the fence.

The good news is I landed without a face plant.

And poppits, that was just to BEGIN the hike...remember, I had to climb this damn fence to get out of the park. And, don't think I didn't think about spending the day in the park trying to find another way to get out.

Needless to say, by the time we had to climb out of the park, I was more tired from the hike and not looking forward to hoisting my exhausted butt over that hellacious fence! At that point, I was all about limitations, imagining that big, hairy steel arms would come out as I tried to lift myself up and push me down...or throw me over forcing me to land with a "splatt" on the ground. But fortunately my Inca Chick peeps were one step ahead of me...no need to push my bum up as Marta and Dawn pulled me up from the front and two women grabbed my leg over. It was much easier the second time. Still, embarrassing...

I told Werner of my embarrassment and he said "We can fix that"...uh-oh...so, the next workout with him I did step ups...120 of them, carrying a 9lb. weight for the last 40 reps...oie! All good, right?!?

These past two weeks have been a real testament to my faith...that my "Leap of Faith" was the right thing to do. I would call what I was feeling, the equivalent of bashing up against the mountain from which I leapt. I'm still heading down to an amazing landing, but I was knocked into the side of the mountain by a few birds passing by. It was a bit painful, but short-lived. The thing for me to remember during these times is to seek out my friends. People who remind me that I am loved and worthy of living my life the way I want to live it.

I recently re-read the stream of conscious journalling I did during my Foundations course when I was writing about my passion. I read the line..."If I stick to my passion (of helping people), everything else is just noise." The "noise" I was referring to were things like worrying about making money, worrying about what the cynics would say, worrying about my inner critic, blah, blah, blah...it was great to be reminded of why I was put on this earth.

Tell me, what is your passion?!?

I promise to keep in touch more often.

Cheers! May your February be filled with warmth & comfort food - whatever that may be for you!!!
(a) yt xox

What a difference a day makes!

2010-01-13T17:41:00.001-08:00

I can't believe it's already been a week since last I typed. Not because I'm incapable of taking a week to update the blog (!!) but because I can't believe a week has passed so quickly! A few tidbits to update you...

- I gained 9.5 lbs over the Christmas period, basically the month of December. I lost it and am now back to my total weight loss of 67 lbs. Yippee! I can't tell you how wonderful it was to step on the scale and see that number drop...slice of heaven!

- I started back with The Evil One and he is whipping my sorry ass into shape again. Last week, when I stepped on the scale and fessed up to the 9.5 lb. weight gain, he tried the "nice guy" approach to understand what emotions I'm having while I eat and what support do I need. It was a very nice approach and made me get a little teary, which freaked him out slightly - not my intention, but a nice side benefit! Why I got all teary, I don't know other than to recall the time in Phoenix when I felt out of control and my inner critic was riding high in my head. That wasn't fun to recall, which could be why I got all boo-hooey with Werner. Or maybe I was just feeling like I needed to cry...like, WHAT-ever!

- This week (yesterday), I stepped on the scale and showed the big loss. The Evil One decided to change his approach from Mr. Nice Guy to Mr. Hold-Me-Accountable Guy. He reminded me of my commitment to work out at least 3x at the gym and that I had failed in living up to that commitment last week..DOH!! I could tell he wasn't buying my excuses (well, they were pretty lame!) and he started to play a little hard ball with me. After much back and forth, he asked me the question...

... How hard am I willing to work for this last 40 lbs.?!?

YOWZA!! Well, that was a good question and it got me thinking about alot of stuff. I started to get this heavy feeling last night and carried it through as my day began today. Alot of CRAP surfaced...like...

... I am PETRIFIED of not making this goal...that my will power won't be be strong enough to overcome my cravings...that I won't be able to achieve and sustain the level of exercise I need to have in order to keep losing the weight...that my caloric intake will reduce so much that I'll be down to eating nothing but spinach and water!

I know I was melodramatic (again!), but that was what was going through my head last night. And it made me question EVERYTHING - the weight loss journey, whether or not coaching was the right choice, if I was ever going to see money come into my bank account again, would I actually be able to climb The Inca Trail...yada-yada! Quite frankly, last night was not the best night of my life!

THEN, I met Maggie for coffee this morning and things changed!! As you know, I always love my conversations with Maggie because she always has such different perspectives on things and she doesn't judge and she's caring and supportive and an overall great person! Anyway, in that conversation, I was able to articulate what I really wanted to do. She helped me define my nirvana corporate gig! That was really helpful to me and I left that conversation feeling optimistic and focused!

On to a GREAT coaching conversation with an amazing client who worked hard and was able to see what an incredibly resourceful, caring person she is. That conversation reminded me of everything I loved about being a coach!

Then, I dragged my sorry ass to the gym. It was a short, but intense self-directed workout and, at the end of it, I felt glad I did it...especially as I was walking to the GO Train, feeling the burn. Nothing says "success" like a sore ass!

And tonight? Yoga with Nadia. This was my second class with Nadia. It's a "fundamentals" course, which means she shows you the basics of the poses. Yeesh! I had no idea a body could be stretched in such a way! I'm really excited about the possibilities that yoga will bring to me. I can't wait until I can hold the poses for 1 minute..then 2 minutes! I will be so strong and limber...right on! In the meantime, not-so-much, really. I can barely hold the pose for the required 10 seconds and my toes cramp up because I'm stretching them in directions they don't want to go. It ain't pretty, but I'm not giving up! Nadia is a GREAT teacher and I can see the value of doing this. This will be something I will do for the rest of my life...toe cramping or not!

While I ran the gammit of emotions in less than 24 hours, I'm happy to say I'm back on track for seeing possibilities and being optimistic. Tomorrow I will work from home and I'm going to develop materials that will support me in growing my business. I'm really excited about what lies ahead and the ideas I have. It also helps to have people who know your business capabilities and remind you of them every once in a while - lucky me!

BTW, shameless plug time, I'm still looking to add to my coaching client base, so if you know of anyone...seriously...

OK, time for bed. I've got a big, productive day planned for tomorrow and I'm gonna need my sleep! Thanx to Maggie, SS, Aubrey & Nadia for their contributions to my FAB-YOU-LUSS day!!

G'night, poppits!
(a) yt xox

The "new me"

2010-01-06T18:59:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year everyone!

Well, I made it home Monday with little trauma, other than the airline pulled the handle from my suitcase. That was a drag, but not the end of the world.

It seems like a long time since last I typed, so I thought I'd give you a quick update...
- the weather improved GREATLY for the last week of my stay. By the weekend, it was nothin' but sunshine and low 20s.
- John & I continued our daily exercise routine, toggling between morning walks and hiking. Once we completed "The Summit" there was no turning back for us. We hiked that friggin' mountain for three days in a row! By the end of it, I was sore, sick of hiking and ready to come home and rest my weary knees! I was also quite envious of "Team Phoenix" for having the opportunity to be able to hike The Summit during the winter...lucky them!
- 2010 was ushered in with Dianne, Denis, Mark, Craig, John & Jim...quiet, but very nice.

A good time was, indeed, had by me. So, now I'm back to the reality of Christmas decorations to put away, suitcases to unpack and laundry to be done. And I face this with the hunger pains and carb withdrawals associated with my "getting back on track". I'm sure it doesn't sound like I'm happy, but I actually AM glad to be back! I'm glad to regain control of my eating (day 1 with my normal routine of protein shakes and my chicken, spinach sautee) and to be working out again. Although I'd never tell him this, I actually missed The Evil One while I was gone. I know you're thinking "She's finally lost it!"....

Today I met with a friend of mine. I was telling her about my Christmas break and all the exercise I did and mentioned that I'd never dreamed I'd be hiking and here I was! She said, "well, that's the new you". That sure made me think. I initially resisted the notion of "a new me". I'm not sure why, but I think it's because I kinda liked the "old me". Then I got to thinking...and did a comparison of new vs. old me...

OLD ME - believed walking 1.5 KM to buy ice cream at Dominion was justifiable exercise
NEW ME - would KILL to eat ice cream

OLD ME - thought I would look funny doing any kind of exercise and would not do it
NEW ME - KNOWS I look funny while I exercise and really doesn't care

OLD ME - hated my boss, hated my previous company and was overall cranky
NEW ME - LOVES my boss, thinks my current company ROCKS and is The Ambassador of Positivity

OLD ME - felt wound up and ready to lash out anytime someone challenged me
NEW ME - only feels this way in traffic now

OLD ME - felt a protein shake was the drink to wash down 5 slices of pizza
NEW ME - drinks the shake INSTEAD of pizza

I've spoken about changing my mindset on what was "normal" eating for me. Today I realized I need to change my mindset on what is possible for me. For example, I did my first-ever yoga class tonight. I went into it thinking it would be very difficult for me to do and that my belly would get in the way. Well guess what?!? I DID IT!! It wasn't that difficult AND no belly interference! So, I've decided I want to think about possibilities and not limitations, especially when it comes to my physicality - exercise & whether or not I can be attractive.

I'll need your help, poppits! I'm hoping you can catch me when you hear me speaking of limitations and not possibilities. I'm not sure how to explain it, but I promise you will know those limiting words when you hear them. And call me on it! Thank you...

2010 is going to be an amazing year - I can just feel it! This is the year for success, for so many of us! My big goals for this year?

1) achieve financial prosperity and the freedom to choose my own career path (all those irons in the fire WILL pay off!!)

2) achieve my optimal weight and maintain great health forever...the right foods and the right exercise. I WILL climb The Inca Trail in May, with no problems!

3) date up a storm on the way to finding my "Mr. Right"...it's time for me to share my life, poppits, and I'm excited about finding the right person to share it with!

Now can you see why I'm excited about 2010?!?

Tell me, dear friends, what gets you excited about this year? About this decade?!? The possibilities are endless....

G'nite, poppits!
(a)yt xox

The manic highs & lows of Christmas

2009-12-29T18:29:00.000-08:00

Well heidi ho, poppits and greetings from Phoenix! I won't taunt you with the weather, sparing those of you in cold & snowy or rainy other places. I will tell you, however, that it hasn't been all "fun-in-the-sun" weather here. As a matter of fact, I got caught in a rain storm (thunder & lightning included!) as I was walking home from my bro's office one day. Of course, every CSI episode came back to haunt me as I imagined myself getting struck by lightning and/or having my brain fried through electrocution while listenting to my iPhone. Clearly my imagination was in overdrive on that day. OK, I know what you're thinking..."when ISN'T her imagination in overdrive?!?" Fair point...

So, what have been I up to and why have I titled this entry as "manic highs & lows"? Well, that's how I've been feeling. Clearly it's the sugar detox that has some effect, but I have been going on such an emotional roller coaster these past few days. On the positive side, I've been getting tremendous, positive feedback about my weight loss and how great I look. That's always a booster. However, the low's have come from the verbal self-flagellation associated with my lack of control over my eating. There was one low point, after I'd INHALED about 10 cookies, where I thought to myself "Yvonne, you've become a pig." Honestly, I called myself a "pig". I was so full from over-eating at dinner and yet that didn't stop me from eating 10 cookies. The sad part was, I didn't even realize I was eating them. Before I knew what I was doing, I had just eaten them...like I was on pig-out auto pilot. Pathetic, really...that's how I was feeling.

So, as many of you can predict, my self-destructive internal critic "Michelle" was in her heyday, calling me all kinds of names and telling me terrible things like...
"You're not going to get into your clothes" ... and "Look at your face. It's fat and your double chin is back".... and "You'll never climb The Inca Trail if you keep eating like this". I'm telling you, I was really feeling at an all-time low. I'm not sure if my brother was able to figure this out, as most of my self-abuse was internal, but I felt like I was too fat and ugly to do anything.

.... then came the hike to "The Summit"...another trail on Squaw Peak.

The scene...John, myself and nephews Tommy, Craig and Mark drove to the bottom of The Summit where we were to meet Cornelia and Gina. The boys were pumped and Mark, being the yoga guru, showed us some stretches. We started talking about The Inca Trail and Mark was telling us about his climb of Mt. Everest and the challenges he faced. He's so upbeat and was so excited for us about The Inca Trail that I started to get excited too. Admittedly, I was a bit intimidated looking at the trail we were about to climb, but when Craig said, "take it slowly Aunt Yvonne and you'll be able to do it. We're not in any rush", I started to feel better. When Cornelia and Gina joined us, I was feeling cautiously optimistic when we began the ascent....

It was REALLY challenging - partly because of the GOBS of people also doing the trek, but mostly because it was rough terrain and lots of rough "stairs" to the climb. What a PERFECT trail to prepare us for the Inca Trail! I was so happy that John & Cornelia have this hike and, admittedly, a bit jealous that I couldn't do it with them the whole winter. Sooooo, if anyone has any work for me in the Phoenix area, please feel free to contact me!!!

OK, so I didn't do the entire climb, I stopped climbing after the .75 mile point and headed down. I felt like I was getting tired and knew I needed to keep my strength for the tough descent. Besides, I knew it was time to head down when I almost slugged a few people for laligagging on the trail...imagine they felt it was an opportuntiy to socialize!! Who does a 1.5 mile hike up rough terrain in the boiling sun just for fun?!? What's the matter with these people?!? But I digress...

Thanks to John for giving me my hiking poles as my knees were spared alot of pressure! So, John & I will go back to The Summit at least twice before I head back to Toronto. My goal is to do the full climb. I know now to eat something before I go and to make more frequent stops along the way, if I need to. John's goal is to climb the Summit twice in one day by the end of February. "Go-go, daddy-o!" is what I say to that!!

So, I'm feeling much better about myself now..thank goodness! Although Michelle peaks her head up every once in a while, I'm doing a much better job of restraining my eating. John & I walk our 8 KM walk every morning, so that's a great way to start the day. To really show myself that I actually CAN restrain my urges, I have 8 chewy mint candies sitting on my dresser. My goal is to eat NONE of them...to look at them every day and say "nah, you're not worth it" and walk away. At some point during the week, my goal is to actually stop noticing them! So far so good! Also to celebrate resisting eating the leftover cookies and pie that are sitting in the kitchen. I'm back to my protein shakes and salads, so that's been very helpful. John is also restricting himself, so that has been helpful. Yeah to us!!!

Before I sign off, I wanted to tell you about my friend, Ann, who I reconnected with today after something like 8 years. The last time I saw Ann, she was, like 60 lbs. heavier. She looks TOTALLY amazing, even after a second baby, and has been doing really well. It was so great to reconnect with her and I left feeling GREAT about all I've accomplished on the diet and work front. She has always been a great supporter of mine, believing in me, encouraging me and leading by example for me. Ann has raised two boys, who are SO GREAT - well-behaved, respectful of each other, smart, fun, yada-yada! I've always admired Ann's "just do it" attitude and I was, once again, reminded of her resiliency, tenacity and amazing positive outlook. I am soooo glad she is back in my life.

Well poppits, time to sign off. Given that we're up tomorrow for another walk at 5:45 in the am, it's almost bed time for this bonzo!

As you look back on 2009, I hope you will feel proud of all you've accomplished and look forward to all you will accomplish in 2010! The sky's the limit, poppits, and know that I am walking beside ya,toasting your successes with really yummy champagne!

Cheers to us!!
(a) yt xox

Have you been naughty or nice?

2009-12-24T11:48:00.000-08:00

Personally, I'd like a definition of "naughty" before I answer that question...

Well, tonight is the night when Santa Claus delivers all the presents to the good boys & girls, poppin' his jolly, round butt and cookies-and-milk-filled belly down chimneys around the world. Not sure how he does it, or how the whole condos & apartment buildings thing works, but he does a pretty good job of delivering good cheer. Three cheers to the fat guy in the red suit!

Tonight I head to Sun City for dinner & stimulating conversation with my family. My sister Dianne and hubby Denis & their two boys (Craig & Mark) will be our hosts, with sister Kathy, her son Tommy and bro John & partner Jimmy along for the food and beverages! It's all good. I've been "saving myself" for the food that is today and tomorrow, although I could've done a better job of on the "saving myself", truth be told.

True confession time, poppits...I've been overdosing on sugar treats. Remember I told you how I couldn't keep my hands off of the hard candies that seem to be everywhere? Well, yesterday I went into a See's Candies retail store. See's is like our Laura Secord, without the yummy eggs at Easter. They have lots of boxed chocolates and other treats, including these REALLY YUMMY peppermint candies. They're puffy and melt in your melt and are very hard for me to resist. So, despite the HUGE number of CRAZY senior citizens in the store...harassing the staff to show them their discount...demanding free chocolate samples ... yelling "WHERE'S THE SUGAR FREE STUFF!!!" over and over in the middle of the shop...despite these distractions, I still managed to grab a bag of the yummy peppermints. Oh, I shared...like, 10 of them with my brother, but I ate the ENTIRE rest of the bag myself. I just couldn't stop myself. I may as well have been the crazy old lady in the middle of the store shouting, "WHERE ARE THE PEPPERMINT PUFFY CANDIES?!?" I'm guessing that will be me sometime mid-next week, strung out and suffering from sugar withdrawals...sigh...

Well, I should sign off. I can hear my brother John, frantically doing last minute gift wrapping in the other room. He's so stressed that even dog, Pearl, is avoiding the room. Perhaps I'll offer him my help (and take a peek at the presents!!)...or maybe I'll just curl up for a nap...gotta love vacations!!

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays and all the other stuff that goes with the love and spirit of the season. Remember to leave out cookies and milk for Santa and to believe in the goodness of humanity. Also remember the awesome post-Christmas sales!!
(a) yt xox

Life is a garden...

2009-12-21T20:26:00.000-08:00

...dig it! That's how I was feeling this afternoon as I was cruising Thomas Ave, walking from John's work to his home...iPod playing my favourite tunes...new Christmas purchases swinging from my arm ... no jacket required. I was living La Vida Loca, baby!

Today I got up at 5:45, showered and rode into work with John. My mission: to ride the Metro to the courthouse, drop off a report for John, then reward myself with a Metro ride into Tempe for a fun morning of shopping and a Venti Starbucks Peppermint Mocha. When we arrived at the office, John realized the the judge was on vacation, so I didn't have to drop off the report. I have to admit I was a little disappointed, as my Law & Order crazy mind had created several possible, dramatic scenarios that could have played out. For example, I could've been taken hostage by some crazed criminal who busted loose from the cops just as I was entering the building. Of course, some hunky-yet-intelligent, tough-but-sensitive cop would rescue me, falling instantly and forever in love with me. OK, so maybe that's a combination Law & Order and Harlequin Romance, but can you see why I was disappointed?

ANYWAY, I ended up spending some time in the office catching up on emails and practicum stuff, then headed into Tempe for a little shopping and alotta Peppermint Mocha. Mission accomplished on both fronts, by the way. Then I headed back to John's office, had lunch with him and walked back home.

As I was walking back, I realized, once again, just how friggin' lucky I am. My life is so amazingly wonderful that I simply can't stand it! I have a supportive wonderful family, awesome friends, good health and naturally curly hair. Really, what more does anyone need?!? Can ya stand it? OK, enough bragging...

So, yesterday we went for a hike up Squaw Peak. Poppits, I'm quite proud of myself. I could see considerable improvement from the time I was here in July. AND, we climbed all the way to the top this time...which we didn't do before. It was an extra 15-20 minutes straight up with some creative footwork required over the rocks. To be truthful, the whole climb was on fairly rocky terrain. Not sure why I didn't remember that from July...must be a mental block! Anyway, I climbed it using the new hiking poles my bro gave me and what a blessing those poles were!

My nephew, Craig, joined us on the hike. As we were doing the descent, I became pretty skiddish at one very rocky point. Craig said to me, in a quiet calm voice "Aunt Yvonne. You've got good poles that will support you and amazing reflexes to stop you from falling. You're going to be ok." Well, that was better than a massage 'cuz I felt my whole body relax. He was right. I just had to watch my step, go with the flow and chillax!!! It's amazing what a little shot of confidance can do for you! That moment I must remember whenever I go into a coaching session. People just need to realize their own strengths and the resources they've got available to them. That Craig..so young, yet so insightful!!

The weather is changing and expected to be overcast and "cold" through Christmas Eve. "Cold" for Phoenix is 10 celcius...I can live with that! Although I miss the sun, I am confidant it will return Christmas Day. While some folks are dreaming of a white Christmas, this chick wants to feel the warmth of the sun!!!

G'night poppits! Time for my beauty sleep. Until next time, go dig in the garden!!
(a) yt xox

Evils be gone!!

2009-12-19T20:56:00.000-08:00

Greetings from sunny and warmer-than-Mississauga Phoenix! I arrived last night with my sister (Dianne) and nephew (Craig) and headed to Sun City for dinner at my sister, Rita's. It was a lovely night, but it started me on the beginning of my Temptation Hell.

Rita made a lovely, healthy dinner of salmon, asparagus, sweet potato fries and salad. My decadence was the 10 sweet potato fries and a 1/2 glass of wine. I avoided the chocolate cake for dessert, but couldn't seem to keep my hands off of the candies in the dishes all over the living room. Before I even realized what was happening, I had inhaled about 10 Christmas hard candies, 3 mints and 4 chocolates...YOWZA!!! I had to sit on my hands to keep myself from grabbing more candies. Not a good way to start my vacation....

Today, John & I got up and walked 8 KM in the morning, then we had a hearty everything-but-the-kitchen-sink omelette for breakfast. Then we entered the human rat race of last minute Christmas shoppers and bought all our stuff for Christmas dinner. What a mad house out there! Now, I've always said that it's my gift to humankind to stay out of shopping places at this time of year. So, what do I find myself doing? Cruising around Costco, Frys Supermarket and Trader Joe's. Add to it, I was a bit cranky because I was still tired from taking too many Tylenol PMs last night. Come 2:00, it was not pretty. Many a curse words were said and scowls were given to unsuspecting people who happened to rub me the wrong way. Fortunately, no one was hurt in the exchanges... well except for John who had to put up with my whining...bless his wee heart!

Our last stop was to Hi's Health where I picked up protein powder for my shakes. I've decided it's time to take back control of my eating....so far, so good! We went to "Glendale Glitters" tonight, which is an outdoor event where they have all the trees lit up for Christmas and lots of little booths with trinkets, trash, & tasty treats. Temptation abounded! Do you think I could find something healthy to eat?!? It was either a chicken pita from the Greek place or cheddar chili fries..those were my temptations. Or else I could've had Indian Naan bread with chocolate and powdered sugar...or maybe a big ass bag of Kettle popcorn...or there was always the caramel apples with chocolate chips or coconut or peanuts....or better yet, I could've gone for the frozen cheesecake on a stick dipped in chocolate..seriously. Do you see my hell, people?!? So, I settled for the Chicken in a Pita, a big jug of water and a piece of gum, which I chewed like a cow with an overactive cud. Like chewing my gum REALLY loudly with my mouth open would make me NOT want to mug the old lady with chocolate dipped strawberries. Sheesh!

So, here I sit at 10:11 pm reminding myself of all the food I missed out on tonight. It's a bitter sweet victory, really. On the one hand, I'm glad my only indulgence was the pita bread. However, the flip side is that I missed out on chocolate covered frozen cheesecake on a stick. When will I ever get a chance at that again?!?

Tomorrow, John & I are meeting some folks and hiking Squaw Peak in the morning. I'm curious to see how I do this time...20 lbs lighter and with 3 hikes under my belt. Wish me luck, poppits!! In the meantime, if you're one of those last minute Christmas shoppers, remember to be patient, to turn the other cheek and that elbow pads soften the blow to the person you're fighting with for that absolutely-perfect-gift-for-mom. Practice safe shopping, poppits!
(a) yt xox

When you look at me, what do you see?

2009-12-16T20:30:00.000-08:00

I'm gonna take a stab in the dark and guess that what YOU see is very different, and most likely far more positive than what I see. Thank you, Inner Critic, Michelle...

Last night I had dinner with my new friend, Panagiota. Now Panagiota is a warm, funny, smart, gorgeous woman with alot to offer. And yet...do you think her inner critic would allow her to acknowledge that?!? No way!! What is up with that, anyway? I've always said that it would be great if we could see ourselves through the eyes of our friends. Imagine how good we'd feel about ourselves! No matter how objective I THINK I can be, it's rare that I can see myself objectively. Oh sure, I'm down 67 lbs, but am I completely rid of fat pockets and cellulite? Nope. So instead of seeing my not-quite-a-six-pack abs, I see the jiggly bits all around my abs. It's not quite fair and I'm not sure how to stop the madness that is my Inner Critic, Michelle.

I've been listening to The Law of Attraction on audiobook. It's by Jerry & Esther Hicks, where Esther channels Abraham, a collection of spirits who have a message to get to us humans about how the Law of Attraction works. In a nutshell, it's all about being clear in what you want and thinking only of what you want...ya know, positive messages; good emotional energy, etc. It's basic stuff. It's been helping me to think more positively about things, even though I'm not experiencing them right now. For example, I focus on all the things I can do, now that I've lost alot of weight (like hiking and cross-country skiing and cycling). I no longer think about how unachievable these things are or how awkward I will look doing them. Instead I think about when I can squeeze them into my calendar! It's pretty cool. I'm thinking this is a way for me to battle Michelle, my Inner Critic. Ya know, think about all the things I CAN and WILL do, not what I can NOT do. Does this make sense? I hope I haven't lost you...

In the meantime, I've decided that I want to actually start telling people what I see in them - let them really see themselves through my eyes. Of course, I will tell only the positive stuff I see...unless they've got spinach in their teeth or a boogie in their nose. That's my commitment to you, poppits. So be prepared for the good stuff!

Imagine a world where everyone had only good things to say to each other ... hmmmm....

G'night and sweet dreams of compliments and good feelings!
(a) yt xox

Post-Carbohydrate Consumption Disorder

2009-12-14T19:57:00.001-08:00

or as it's more commonly known amoung the food addicts, "PCCD". Anyone else familiar with this term? Recognize any of the following symptoms:

- perpetual state of drowsiness and low energy?
- cravings of sugar, bread or anything covered in peanut butter?
- fabric marks and drool on your cheeks from falling asleep on the couch with your mouth wide open?
- general tightness of the pants and swelling of the ankles?
- a low desire to make any movements, including exercise, house cleaning and/or rolling out of bed?
- a Pavlovian drooling at the sight of chocolate?

If you are experiencing one or more of these symptoms, you have Post-Carbohydrate Consumption Disorder (PCCD). Anyone can get PCCD. all they have to do is eat...like ALOT of breads, or sugars or anything really tasty.

I know because I am experiencing PCCD now. My journey-to-hell began last Wednesday when I started baking for my Open House & Tacky Gift Exchange. I THOUGHT I could exercise control, but I knew I was in trouble the moment the Oatmeal Scotchies came out of the oven. Instantly The Rationalizer kicked in and before I knew it, I had snarfed down 4 cookies "because I needed to taste-test the new recipe." Sound familiar? People, ONE cookie is taste testing, a dozen is gluttony...

By Saturday our family "Christmas Day", I was grabbing anything that looked like it contained sugar or fat or dairy...seriously. The only thing I didn't eat were the candy canes on the tree. And don't think I didn't try to eat one, but couldn't find a moment alone with the tree or else I would've grabbed one and shoved THE ENTIRE THING into my mouth.

So, here I sit Monday evening, waiting to pick up my nephew Craig from the airport. If I didn't have the 11:59 arrival time, I would be fast asleep in a carb-induced coma. The past 6 days have taught me many things, including:

- no amount of carbs is worth the drugged up, no energy, downer feeling of PCCD
- when I decide to let go, I really have no self-control when it comes to sweets. That insight, quite frankly, is scary!
- If I bake it, the pounds will come

On a positive notes, the 12 Oatmeal Scotchies I ate with a glass of milk at noon have been sitting in my belly like a lead balloon. I haven't felt like eating another thing since. Of course, I can't seem to shake off the looming nausea, but I guess I deserve the pain.

I really wanted to capture the feeling so that I can look back on this blog anytime I have cravings for carbs and ask myself "is it really worth it?!?" Right now, I'm hearing a resounding "NO FLIPPIN' WAY!!!" in my head, but that's because the Oatmeal Scotchies and milk refuse to digest and I can't seem to keep my eyes open. No doubt I'll be going through my carb withdrawals for the next three weeks, a really bad result of PCCD. One day I hope to learn from this experience, but until then, I acknowledge my weakness for the carbohydrates and focus on the positives ... like ...

- the last of the cookies, fudge and delicious treats have been given away to a deserving family of skinny people
- I'm facing 2 weeks in Phoenix and my brother has lined up lots of exercising gigs, including walks and hikes
- Christmas and Tacky Gift Exchanges only happen once a year, so I am confident in my full recovery from PCCD before I face the carbs again next year

Well poppits, I hope your holiday season is filled with love, joy and good eating...however you're defining "good"!

Cheers!
(a) yt xox

Christmas is over and yet....

2009-12-13T19:50:00.000-08:00

..it's only December 13th!

Well, it's 10:51 pm Sunday night and I have survived a very busy weekend. I'm watching "A Christmas Story" with my brother, John, who is staying with me for the weekend. And what a weekend it's been! Friday night was our "Christmas Eve" when everyone arrived into Mississauga, to my sister Lorry's house, our gracious hostess. Saturday morning we opened our presents and Sat. night was Christmas dinner. Then to my Open House & Tacky Gift Exchange Sunday afternoon & evening. It was a whirlwind of food, treats and more food. It was difficult to maintain some control over my eating what with all the friggin' cookies & bars I baked, the chocolates and desserts at my sister's and general temptation all around. I'm trying to look for the positive and the only thing I can think of is that I resisted drinking booze. Considering I don't drink alcohol, I'm not sure that really counts, but I'm clinging to it. So I must pay the piper, step on the scale tomorrow and just suck it up.

I've been talking with my brother about my trip to Phoenix and we've decided we need to exercise, hike and work our asses off...literally! I'm' looking forward to it. But before I hit Phoenix, I must survive one more workout with The Evil One. Oh dear.

As you know, this weekend was quite chilly with crappy weather. My brother, who now has woosified blood and can no longer stand temperatures below 25 celsius, suggested I spend my winters in Phoenix. As I looked at him getting ready to go out for a smoke, putting on his toque, ear muffs, mittens, scarf, boots and heavy jacket, I thought "why not?!?" Really, if I could build a business there, I would be happy to spend winters in Phoenix. Soooooo....I'm approaching my Phoenix Christmas vacation with a new filter...what is the business I can build?!? John already suggested a couple of ideas for workshops I could do and he offered the boardroom in his office for my use. Hmmmm.....this time next year I just might be blogging from new home in Phoenix! I'll be sure to get a spare bedroom for visitors....

Well, it's now 11:13 and I'm meeting my AFOOFA buddies tomorrow morning at 8:00 so it's time for me to sign off and get my beauty sleep!

G'nite poppits!
(a)yt xox

Finding your sweet spot

2009-12-09T20:19:00.000-08:00

Hi everyone!

When you hear the words, "sweet spot" what do you think of? Some people will think of golf and the spot on the golf club that makes that wonderful "crack" sound when you hit it just right and the ball goes screaming straight down the fairway. Or perhaps your sweet spot is like mine which is the vortex at Union Station that contains Dairy Queen, Cinnabon, Laura Secord and, sometimes, fabulous silver jewelry on display for purchase...food and bling...heaven really....

Well, this week I feel as if I've been swimming in my "sweet spot" every moment of every day! Wonderful & awesome things have been transpiring in my life. Call it "The Universe", or "God's mysterious ways" or "the stars aligning"...whatever! It's all been really good stuff going on and I've been feeling amazing, really. So, sit down, grab a drink and maybe a treat and read on, poppits!!

It all started after my AFOOFA meeting last week with the fabulous Duane, Aubrey & Sylvie. For some reason, I couldn't stop thinking about people's resiliency and their ability to draw strength from within to help them cope with/survive major upheaval throughout their life. This seed got planted and before I knew it, I was sending an email to many of my family, friends and colleagues asking if they would share their stories with me. All I can say is...

!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOLY RESPONSE, BATMAN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YOWZA! Clearly I've hit on something because so many people are intrigued by the topic and very interested in sharing their experience. So, I have no idea what I'm going to do with the information, but I simply CAN'T WAIT to hear the stories! I've got a good feeling about this one...

Well, other great things that have been happening all seem to be around workshops and coaching. I received a call from someone I met at an ACPI meeting. Remember the guy I almost stole the banana cream pie from? Well, he called me and asked for my input on a whole day workshop he was contracted to do for a local college. Next thing I know, I'm sitting outside Starbucks, brainstorming an outline for a morning workshop...wow!! It was such a cool feeling! I never thought of myself as a designer of workshops, but here I came up with one within 1 1/2 hours. It was such a great feeling. And, again, the objective was to help people tap into their own strengths to help them cope with an upcoming change.

My point of sharing is that I have been RIDING HIGH for the past week and a half simply because I'm living out my passion, my mission, my joie de vivre...and it feels GREAT! For me, it's all about connecting with others and helping. Now, I'm learning that it's ALSO about helping people realize their own strengths. People are so brilliantly resourceful...they just need to be reminded of that! And this past week was filled with lots of Practicum stuff, coaching sessions and really great networking meetings. Man! I'm so pumped remembering the past week that my fingers are just flying over this keyboard. The Apple is SMOKIN', baby!!!

And now, cut to how life is on the food and exercise front...

Well, some good news...I'm down another 1 lb, so that makes 67 in total. That's a good thing considering my only exercise was my workout with The Evil One. It's going to be the same this week as I've been quite busy and heading into Christmas party central! BTW, had a bit of drama around LPS. It seems Clance (the owner) packed up the entire gym and evacuated it Friday night...without telling anyone but the movers! Hello?!? I got an email from Werner telling me the news, then a call from Clance late Sunday night. Such mystery and drama. Anyway, The Evil One is now working from a private gym called "Station 7", which is above the Good Life Fitness at Union Station. It's so much more convenient to the GO Train and is really more private. Sooooooo, if anyone's interested in being trained by The Evil One, now's your chance! You, too, can sweat your ass off...literally and figuratively! Oh, and THIS gym has really fun machines for pull downs that make your arms come out of your sockets and a big ass bag that weighs about 50 lbs and looks like a punching bag that you get to carry across the gym floor twice...makes you want to come on down and sign up, doesn't it?!?

My family comes to town for our "Christmas in Ontario" and I have my Annual Open House & Tacky Gift Exchange for which I am baking up a storm. My brother, John, is staying at my house. He's notorious for "sleep walking" when there are homemade treats in the house, leaving nothing but bread crumbs and disappointment the morning after. Fortunately my sister, Bea is also staying with me and can share "John Duty". On the positive side, I get to open some Christmas presents this weekend...yes, poppits, it's all about the presents!!

Well, I have more to tell you but it's late and I need to get my beauty sleep. I wish you sweet dreams and wishes for you to find your sweet spot very soon!

Merry Christmas season, poppits!
(a) yt xox

I've discovered I'm a masochist

2009-11-27T17:40:00.000-08:00

No, I really mean it this time. I had a HORRIBLE food craving day, which we all know is not unusual. What IS unusual is the ensuing behaviour from said cravings. Instead of avoiding places that inspire the cravings...um... like EVERYWHERE, I went head long into the dens of evil. It was like I cut myself a 1000 times, everywhere on my body, then started to wade into a big pool of lemon juice....

First, I go into the pool up to my knees....that's when I walked through Loblaws yesterday...past the PC chocolate bars with yummy things inside like coconut or almonds or toffee or caramel or all of the above...right up to the freezer filled to the brim with Candy Cane fudge crackle ice cream, which BTW is my absolute favourite ice cream of the season....can you feel the burn of the lemon juice with me??

And the burn from the lemon juice stops...and it's a new day...

Then I decide to continue my journey into the lemon juice, up to my hips...which would be when I took a tour of the Laura Secord at Union Station and saw (are you ready for this?!?) chocolate filled candy canes! How heavenly is that?!? Why, that is better than Candy Cane ice cream because I could eat an entire bag of 15 chocolate filled candy canes and NEVER freeze my mouth!! BTW, remember "The Rationalizer"? Well, that voice was telling me that the chocolate filled candy canes would be a good source of energy for when I'm climbing the Inca Trail and that I should buy some now and stock up for the trip...which is in May...oie!

So, the burn of the lemon juice has now subsided and, my masochistic self decides to just submerge entirely...that would be when I'm waiting for my GO Train and sitting directly across from the Dairy Queen...oh yeah...I'm staring at posters of the three DQ waffle sundaes...and the poster of the Peanut Buster Parfait (my favourite)...and watching all the happy people as they eat their ice cream cones and waffle sundaes and blizzards...I just sat there, watching ... craving ... feeling the burn of the lemon juice.

I'm not exactly sure why, but I felt really compelled to write about this. I'm quite proud of myself for not acting on the cravings, but I am very worried about how they keep rearing their ugly heads. I need to find a way to shut down the masochist so I stop putting myself into situations that tempt me. This continues to be my challenge.

So, once again, I need to reinforce the good. For example and keep focused on how far I've come. Can I just say how happy I will be when I no loner have to worry about worrying about this stuff?!?

Well, time to go to sleep. I'm very glad I got that off my chest. Here's me movin' on....

Have a great weekend, poppits!
(a) yt xox

Always look on the bright side of life

2009-11-26T07:21:00.000-08:00

If you're a Monty Python fan, you're now whistling the rest of the little ditty that comes at the end of The Life of Brian...what a fun movie that is!

Once again, I have fallen behind in my commitment to blog twice/week. To be truthful, I just couldn't bring myself around to doing it. I haven't been in the best head-space last week, so I felt I would not be able to be the Ambassador of Positivity I've tried to be. But then I thought, "So what's the big deal?!?" After all, not everyone can be positive all the time, right? I know people count on me for their positive fix - heck! I count on myself - but on the rare occasion, it's just too damn hard for me to feel the positivity! That's what I was experiencing last week. It affected many aspects of my life:

- I felt doubt & worry about my Leap of Faith and whether or not this career path was going to work out for me.
- my eating habits...I actually ate those dreaded grains, poppits!
- how much I exercised...still more than the week before, but not as much as I would've liked to have exercised
- and, once again, my condo was a disaster!

I felt at my lowest Sunday afternoon and evening, which is when I inhaled ALOT of bad food. So, I decided that I would do something I hadn't done in a long time. I decided I could allow myself to wallow in self-pity for the duration of Sunday. I used to do this ... feel sorry for myself for 24 hours then move on! It worked and I could see a change. I'm not 100% back to my normal self, but I feel better every time I speak with someone I haven't seen in a while. I love to speak of my journey and remind myself of all the great "irons in the fire" I have going on.

I've got lots to be grateful for...Good things like....

- I am back on track for my eating and exercising. BTW, I've done another two hikes since my last blog. One was on my own and, after 2 1/2 hours, I realized I was lost in the forest! Fortunately, Josephine & Jackie (mom & daughter angels!) took pity on me and drove me to my car...oie!

- I'm down 62 lbs so far and more than 1/2 way to my optimal weight! That deserves a big !!!!!!!!!!!!! WAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- The Christmas holidays are just around the corner and I'm BEYOND the valley of excited about them! BTW, the condo is now presentable and ready for Christmas decorations!

On the eating side, it's been a real struggle for me. It seems I'm craving things like mad. I almost French-kissed a guy because he was eating beef and I could smell it on his breath. This is what I've become.

We recently had a meeting of ACPI, this association I belong to. It was held at a Golden Griddle restaurant. Do you think I could get the image of pancakes out of my head?!? NO! We're talking WEEKS of pancake cravings! The good news is I ate a Greek salad when I was there (sans feta cheese). However, it came with a piece of garlic toast. Before I even realized what I was doing, half of the toast was in my mouth! I couldn't believe it! THEN, one of the guys at my table ordered a piece of banana cream pie. Now, banana cream pie isn't even one of my pies of choice, but I had a visual flash in my head where I saw myself leaping across the table, grabbing the pie and shoving it ALL into my mouth. Oh great. Now I have a craving for pie..sigh...

Well, undaunted I press on in the vain pursuit of looking good naked. I hope all of you are feeling good about yourselves and feeling positive. If not, call me!!

Until Sunday, peace and positivity my brothers & sisters!!
(a) yt xox

What a week!

2009-11-15T19:00:00.000-08:00

Greetings & salutations, dudes & babes!

Well, what a whirlwind of a few days, let me tell you! I'm sitting in front of my TV, having finished watching the 3rd movie for the night...ah, relaxation! I must confess that it was well-deserved. You see, I've had a fairly busy end of the week, don't 'cha know...

Well, Thursday was the Inspire Your Career Day and it went very well. We exceeded the number of people in attendance (101 in total!) and my round table went quite well. I have heard great feedback from people about both things, so I'm a happy camper! It was so amazing to hear all the folks who's lives we touched. I mean, isn't that what it's all about?!?

After the event, I had another big deadline for my practicum. And, being the true Myers-Briggs "P", I waited until the last minute to meet it. Well, actually, it's due tomorrow, but I submitted it all Friday afternoon, so it wasn't THAT last minute, I suppose!! It felt good to finish it. I will admit, though, that I didn't really like the last minute stress. Sooooo...I spent the latter part of Friday afternon and evening catching up on some journaling and paper work I'd fallen behind in. It felt good. It brought me back to my high school and university days when I'd wait until the last minute to do my assignments. You'd think I'd learn, right?!? Oh well. It's all good!

Today I went for a hike with some of the Inca Chicks. It was GREAT! The trail we chose was in Oakville. It has an inner loop that runs 5KM and the outer loop is 10KM. We did the 5KM this week and will do 10KM next weekend. It had a couple of steep inclines and even some stairs! I was glad to say that I did it, but was out of breath after a few of the inclines. We were keeping a pretty good pace, too, and I managed to keep up so I was happy with that. Two of the women were on the Mt. Kilimanjaro hike, so they had some great advice for us. I was really happy I went out today. We will continue this through the winter months, which doesn't REALLY excite me, but I can see the value in doing it...oie! I'm going to try and get back again to the trail so I can start building my lung capacity. I was sure glad to be rid of the weight I was carrying!

I've been struggling with the "Leap and the net will appear". I'm seeing some big output of money coming up with Christmas and my faith is getting a little shaky. I don't know if it's a time-of-the-month thing or perhaps Michelle, my inner critic is acting up. Intellectually, I know I've got some really good things in the pipeline that will pan out eventually. However, the challenge for me is that I'm having a tough time FEELING that I will be ok...ya know?!? I know, if I stick to doing what is in my heart, that the money will come. It's just that I think it would be nice to start depositing money into my bank account for a change...sigh...

So, tomorrow is another day, full of opportunities. I have two coaching sessions and my practicum call so that should put me into a better head space. Eventually, that familiar feeling will come back to me ... the feeling of the wind on my face as I journey downwards on my leap of faith ... I just need to step off the ledge again.

I hope that you are still free-falling to the ground, poppits! In the meantime, undaunted we press on!!
(a) yt xox

where did the week go?!?

2009-11-11T06:09:00.001-08:00

Sorry, poppits! I can't believe a week has gone by since last I typed. How interesting that I remember to blog on Remembrance Day....hmmm...

My week has been quite busy, well busy for me anyway! As you know, I've been the lead on planning a community event with one of the coaching associations I belong to. It's been a great experience, but I find myself running around with many of the last minute, ankle-biter details. The event is designed to help folks in career transition with whatever help they want. We'll have about 20 coaches there to help with resumes, interviewing & networking, building resilience, and a round table created by moi! I'm very excited about it. It's been a great experience thinking through and creating an actual working session. My hope is that it will be a success (i.e. people will really feel like the format has helped them) and I can blow it out into a workshop. Let's face it, the more people that can benefit, the better! BTW, if you're interested in attending, here are the deats:

Where: Metro Toronto Convention Centre, North Building, Room 101 (Press Conference Room)
When: Nov. 12th 8:30-1:00; Registration is from 7:30 - 8:30
Cost: $20

On the weight loss front, I'm rockin' and rollin' people! As of my Monday morning weigh in, I was down 5 lbs. from last week...16 lbs. from Oct. 1st and 59 lbs in total!!
That calls for a big ...
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Don't 'cha think?!?

Admittedly, I've been doing a full court press on the eating plan, with the intention of achieving my optimal weight fast to help improve my chances of kicking the Inca Trail butt. However, I must admit that I've been concerned about the sustainability of an "ass-tasting shake and chicken/veggie" diet. I'm really missing my beef, to be truthful. Then I had this "aha moment"....what makes me think this isn't the way it can be forever?!? OK people, hear me out....

Maybe my new regime is a protein shake 2x/day with a meal of protein (not just chicken) and veggies..add some fruit & I'm good to go! Sure, I can have cheat meals or treats every once in a while, but what's wrong with this plan?!? I offset the vitamin loss with supplements, so that's good. I keep the discipline I require to keep it off..more good. I maintain my exercise regime so I can climb Mt. Kilimanjaro in 2014...good again!

It's really my mindset that has to (or had to) change. I kept thinking that I needed to go back to a "normal" eating plan. Well, what is "normal", anyway?!? And is my "normal" good for someone else? I'm guessing my friends Aubrey & Duane would say "ick, no way!!" at the thought of my food focus. At the end of the day, when I am in maintenance of my optimal weight mode, it will be because of MANY changes I've made to patterns and beliefs. I WILL be successful, dammit. There's no turning back now and, quite frankly, I'm diggin' this better, healthier me. I refuse to go back to the old patterns of ....

... eating whenever I feel like it...now I try to eat when I'm hungry

... considering a walk from my couch to my kitchen as exercise ... now, exercise isn't considered to be exercise unless I'm sweating and swearing profusely

... listening to The Rationalizer tell me that biting my ice cream exerts more calories than licking it, therefore, eat more ice cream ... now I can tell The Rationalizer to "bite this"!!

... thinking I'm too fat to ride a bike, or do the treadmill, or to look smokin' hot wearing anything ... now? well I know that's just Michelle, my inner critic, acting up and I can tell her to "get lost"!

This blog has really helped me to identify and work through so many of my bad and good patterns and thoughts. It's amazing what you'll discover once you look into your head!

Thanx for taking this journey with me, poppits!

What's to look forward for the balance of the week? Well, the event is tomorrow and I've got some catching up to do with my Adler practicum. A digitally remastered showing of Gone With the Wind Saturday and a hike with some of the Inca Trail chicks Sunday. What a great week I'll have...lucky me!

I will sign off with recognition and thanx for the efforts of the veterans to whom we owe our freedom. I couldn't write this blog without them!

Cheers!
(a) yt xox

Things that make me go "hmmmm"...

2009-11-04T18:42:00.001-08:00

Greetings & salutations on this 4th day of November. Happy Birthday to dear friend, Brian!!

Today I had a coaching session with a wonderful client. At the end of our conversation, we started to discuss what a "bad person" looks like. It got me thinking about myself and the whole "Ambassador of Positivity" thing. Overall, I think I'm a pretty decent person, with always the best of intentions, especially now that I'm away from the corporate world and the influence of "she-who-must-not-be-named". However, I got to thinking about times when I wasn't always at my best, most positive self.

It's time for me to come clean and tell you when I have broken the Ten Commandments of Positivity. Forgive me poppits, for I have cursed...

1) You shall have no other bargains before me - I don't know about you, but when I see a sale on something and it's the last item, I can get pretty ugly. Embarrassing as it is to admit, I've actually elbowed a woman away from a pair of gloves I wanted in Costco. I know, it's bad, but I get all caught up in the can't-pass-up-a-deal thing and lose it.

2) You shall not make a carved image of anything that is carbs or dairy, no matter of what it is made - Admittedly, I've thought so much about carbs and dairy (as you well know) that I've tried to imagine them in the form of carrots or brussel sprouts. Trust me, it is neither positive nor pleasant when the realization that a "carrot is just a carrot" sets in.

3) You shall not take the name of the Lord in vain ... uh, yeah...hmmmm...traffic, people in the "8 items or less" line with more than 8 items, malls at Christmas, hang nail...get the picture?!?

4) Remember the treadmill, to keep it active - there are days when I just don't want to workout and let's face it, I'm just not nice about it. Can you say "big, fat whiner", boys & girls?!?

5) Honour your protein and your veggies - Well, 'nuf said on this one since you've lived through my not-so-positive blogs when I don't honour the diet....or I'm honouring the diet and hating every moment of it!

6) You shall not murder even if the person is eating Dairy Queen - OK, so I haven't ACTUALLY committed murder, but there are many times when I've fantasized about causing death. Remember the time I wanted to push the woman onto the GO Train platform for eating a gooey, chocolatey, ice cream thingy?!?

7) You shall not cheat on your fat intake - ah, I remember the day when I was told I couldn't eat sweet potato fries...shameful, really ...

8) You shall not steal, borrow or buy your way onto the red carpet at the Film Festival - Unfortunately, there are many security guards who have blushed at my unladylike behaviour and/or my creative use of profanity...sigh...

9) You shall not bear false witness against your food diary - inevitably the scale reveals all and when that happens, it ain't pretty or positive...case in point when I wanted to staple The Evil One's lips shut when he said my weight out loud.

10) You shall not covet your neighbour's chocolate cake...or your sister's caramel apple pie ... or your brother's Stone Cold Creamery Sundae...or your friend's Apple Fritter - puh-lease! Covet schmovet, I've been known to lay BIG TIME guilt trips on people for eating this food in front of me. I've also threatened bodily harm, which does NOT fall into optimal "Ambassador of Positivity" behaviour.

OK, so clearly I have alot of work to do to fulfill the Ambassador of Positivity obligations. BUT, I'm willing to cut myself some slack because, although I WANT to take down the Cinnabon eater, I have yet to do it. To me, that's the difference between good & evil, sane vs. insane, on the edge or over the edge.

G'night poppits...and behave!!!
(a) yt xox

Sometimes the grass is not always that green

2009-11-01T18:09:00.000-08:00

Well, it's been 4 days of my new food adventure and let me tell ya, it's been a bit hellacious. I've had some real challenges sticking to the diet of protein shakes and chicken & veggies and, to be truthful, I slipped up a few times.

But, I did have some successes...like....
- I worked out at LPS three days (keeping my "contract" with The Evil One)
- I did a sweat-my-ass-off hill program on the treadmill today
- I avoided shoving my face into the birthday cake of my great nephew, Lucas
- I did not mug the senior lady in my building who was giving away the candy bags on Halloween
These are all good things, poppits.

Now that I think about it, I actually had a "moment of glory" for myself. Please allow me to toot my own horn for a moment...setting the scene...

I just did a workout at LPS; it's day 2 of ass-tasting shake, chicken & veggies. I'm at Union Station waiting for my GO Train. I'm so hungry my stomach is growling loud enough that people are starting to line up in front of me thinking I'm one of the trains. Are ya with me?!?

I see an "empty" seat in between a woman, eating a chocolate bar and a man, sleeping, holding a McDonald's bag. In between them is a seat with a napsak on it. Because I'm masochistic and there really isn't another seat, I go for the seat between chocolate bar and McDonald's. I ask them to move the bag and the guy wakes up long enough to move the napsak...but he's still holding on to the McDonald's bag, which I notice has french fries in it. By now, my sense of smell has been heightened beyond belief and I swear I can smell the chocolate chips they're putting into the Mrs. Fields cookies on the other side of Union Station. Needless to say, I want those fries in a BAD WAY!!!

I sit between the lady (who has eaten the chocolate bar and is now shining up a red, juicy apple to eat) and french fries. I become fixated on the shiny red apple, running up and down the arm...rotating as it moves...getting shinier...and shinier...I watch the apple as it rises to the mouth and a bite is taken. I swallow before I drool...then I notice french fries man has started to snore...which makes me focus on him...and his french fries...glistening with oil...and salt...loosely being gripped by The Snorer...almost ready to fall out of their paper packet...into the bag that holds a wrapper...that used to hold a hamburger...or cheeseburger....or Filet 'o' Fish...

Then I feel the hunger pain in my stomach and think...

"FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, STEP AWAY FROM THE FRIES!!!!"

Which I do...and go and stand by the monitors...waiting for the platform to be posted so I can flee this fresh hell I am living within.

The Evil One warned me I should get used to hunger, but he didn't warn me that I would do horrible, self-inflicting torturous things like sit between chocolate bar/apple & french fries. There's something psychological in that, isn't there?!? As my mom would say, I've finally "flipped my pizza".

"What was my 'moment of glory'", you ask? Well, did I reach over and eat The Snorer's french fries? No! Or did I grab the shiny, red apple from the lady? No again! These are the moments to celebrate and I'll take 'em when I can, dammit! Crisis averted...

The rest of the week seemed more normal for me. I cooked dinner for my friends, Ayumi & Jennine, Friday night. These are two peeps from my improv days. Mind you, they've managed to make a living as professional actors/comediennes/writers. Perhaps because they're far more talented and much hotter than I am...that's ok, they loved my cooking! Anyway, it was INSPIRATIONAL conversation and wonderful to see them, even if they held me down and forced me to eat carbs...tee hee...

So it's time to put the challenges of the week behind me and to look forward to the week ahead. As Anne of Green Gables would say, "Tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it"....gotta love that!

Enjoy your new day, poppits!!
(a) yt xox

If I hear another voice in my head...

2009-10-28T19:09:00.000-07:00

...does that mean I'm going crazy?!? Or is it crazy if I start to salivate when watching a KFC advertisement for their "boneless, skinless chicken fillets" and really believe that life tastes better with KFC? These are questions on my mind tonight.

Well, I can forgo the burning question about KFC fillets and how it makes life taste. However, the issue about another voice in my head is worth discussing, don't you think? So, here's the deal...I have another voice I will call "The Rationalizer". Why? Because it makes me think about doing things I wouldn't normally do by justifying the behaviour in an insane way. "Normal" being when I'm full of good food and not craving chocolate or olive bread or baby-back ribs. Here's how he works...and he's definitely a "he". I mean only a man can make me think about doing things I wouldn't normally do, right?!? But I digress...

So, The Rationalizer has really been acting in full force lately and I'm getting annoyed. He tells me things like...peanut butter mixed with organic rice is, indeed, healthy... and ... Ritz crackers with cheese have no calories because they are eaten on a plane ... and ... consuming significant amounts of Middle Eastern food is just fine because everyone knows Lebanese food is healthy, even if you eat five helpings of it.

See what I mean?!? Is it just me or does anyone else have "The Rationalizer" in their head? I'm guessing this is the same "guy" that has told me it's ok to steal the Cinnabon from a teenager because I'd be saving her from the torment of her bitchy girlfriends. Fortunately, I don't act on most of the "tips" provided by The Rationalizer (OK, I didn't have FIVE helpings of the Lebanese food, so there Rationalizer!).

So, I spent the weekend in Phoenix, which is why I didn't type in the blog. It was a great time. The weather was AWESOME...sunny and in the high 20s. My bro hosted a party for which Mona cooked. Mona is 1/2 of "Mona & Joe Hamade", a Lebanese couple who live in Vancouver and who have met all of us who lived in Vancouver at one point. They also visited our family in Ontario, so we know them well. ANYWHO, Mona is an AMAZING Lebanese cook and, literally, cooked for days in prep for the party Saturday night. I helped in a SMALL way...mostly taste-testing! It was a great party and everyone enjoyed meeting Mona & Joe, so all was a good time.

I did, however, let loose from a food perspective. Going into the weekend, I was down 9 lbs. over the course of three weeks. Of course, that's because I was eating NOTHING BUT chicken, rice and veggies. Let's just say I ate more than chicken over the weekend. As a result I gained back 3 lbs. when I weighed in Tuesday morning...sigh...

Coincidentally, I had a workout with The Evil One Tuesday and stepped onto the scale at the gym. That one showed me up 2.5 lbs. Needless to say I got a gentle, verbal bitch slap from he-who-must-not-be-named. He was trying to do a combo "why do you keep falling off the wagon" with "I really believe in you". Needless to say, I acted appropriately by starting to boo hoo a little...not sure where the tears came from but let's just say it's time for me to pull out Steal Magnolias to get rid of this emotion. Anyway, I'm back to a strict diet again (just chicken & veggies) with 2 shakes a day. To be truthful, I was looking forward to coming back and having some discipline again.

I bought some protein powder that The Evil One suggested. He forewarned me that it tasted "like ass" (his words, not mine). "Ass" wouldn't be the word I'd choose, given that I've never indulged in said delicacy. However, it does taste crappy. It's like I'm eating really chopped up grass with a hint of strawberry. And what's really exciting is that I'm going to be drinking this ... um ... yummyness ... for two meals every day. I'm guessing it will be for a long while. The good news is that I will most likely lose a great deal of weight, which I am happy about.

I know what you're thinking, poppits..."it's too drastic"..."she won't sustain it"...'she's going to push someone from a building"...I hear ya. And don't think I'm not feeling the same angst. BUT, I am excited about seeing a picture of me at my optimal weight...climbing The Inca Trail weighing 50 lbs. less...highly energetic...feeling damn good ... and looking smokin' HOT!! Are ya with me?!?

So, I suffer for the cause, keeping the goal in mind - looking good naked! Oh wait, that's Werner's goal. OK, MY goal is optimal weight, good health and overall general hotness!

What are your goals, poppits?!?
(a) yt xox

um...hello?!? Anybody home?!?

2009-10-21T12:16:00.001-07:00

What's the expression...
... the lights are on but nobody's home...
... the elevator doesn't go all the way to the roof ...
... not the sharpest tack on the board ...
... not the brightest bulb in the chandelier ...

I think you get my point...

OK, so TODAY is Wednesday...hump day ... and regular blogging day. How many of you actually checked your calendar? Come on, you can tell me....

Well, I'm sitting on my couch, waiting for my load of laundry to dry. I think I'll take a nap as all of my cleaning is done and my place is ready for my house sitters this weekend. I think my spare bedroom is going to be painted, but I don't want to get too excited! We'll see...

For those of you interested, I actually did go in for a self-directed workout this morning. Although The Evil One did step in a few times. I did the farmer's walk with the new weights they have. It was so much better to do than those darn long bars that kept throwing me off balance. I also did the weight swing thing too (you're probably saying "huh"?!?). It doesn't really matter, but I know I worked on my core. My muscles are really sore... all good impact. It's probably a good thing I got an extra hard core workout in before venturing to Phoenix. I'm sure we'll walk, but I think that will be the extent of our working out. We'll see.

Well, time to sign off for the nap. I just wanted to let you know that I realized I lost my mind temporarily and now know which day it is!

Take care, poppits!
(a) yt xox

Countdown to Phoenix!

2009-10-20T19:08:00.000-07:00

Happy Hump Day everyone.

I'm staring at my ceiling because I've noticed I have two lady bugs on my ceiling...not sure I'm liking that. Also wondering how they got in...not liking that question....hmmm....excuse me while I go and close my bedroom door...

OK, I'm back and have validated there are no lady bugs or other bugs in my bedroom, for those of you wondering.

I was having a good week so far. Then, as I was sitting on my practicum call this afternoon, I realized it was the anniversary of my mom's death. I managed to keep it together during the call, but almost had a breakdown during my workout today. It was a really hard workout to begin with, so that didn't help. Then The Evil One was really busting my chops today...about eating...about not coming in to work out two extra times/week...yelling "come on, Yvonne" during the workout. On top of it all, the LPS scale did NOT show the 3 lbs. weight loss my scale showed so I was hugely disappointed. Although I haven't deviated from the diet I've been on, I'm not sure The Evil One was convinced...and that bothered me too.

Anyway, to make a long, MELODRAMATIC story longer, I ended up boo-hooing like a baby as I showered. Seriously, I couldn't control the heaving sobs...yikes! Thank goodness no one else came into the dressing room! The cry helped, but I have to admit that I miss my mom. Admittedly, she's in a MUCH better spot, but I still miss her...and my dad. They had such an amazing influence over my life and I have a great deal of gratitude to them for all they did for me. Guess who's boo-hooing like a baby again?!?

Lady bug alert...one of the dames is getting quite aggressive. It seems my ceiling is not entertaining enough and she must fly around the light. Clearly, she must die...

Allrighteythen...as I mentioned, there is a discrepancy between what my scale said Monday (down 3 lbs) vs. what the evil bastard gym scale said today (no loss or gain). I'm going in to the gym tomorrow and will weigh myself again to see if it's changed. That's right, guilt trip has been successful and I will go into the gym one more time this week.

I'm looking forward to my trip to Phoenix this weekend. I hear they are experiencing "unseasonably" high temperatures...like in the low 30s...moowaahaahaa...(btw, that should sound like an evil laugh, just in case you didn't get it). I spoke to my bro, John, today and it turns out we won't have time for hiking. I'm a bit bummed, but he did promise we could go for our 8K walk every morning, so that works. I get one "cheat meal", and must remain committed to eating nothing but chicken & veggies for the weekend. Next week, I have shakes for 2 meals and chicken w/veggies for 1 meal. I know it's radical, but it's all meant to have a purpose. I'm about 12 lbs. away from my lowest weight since living in LA. That's REALLY close, so I'm motivated to live through it. I must confess, though, that it's starting to get on my nerves. I don't know if it's the whole mourning thing or what, but I almost took down a pregnant woman on the GO Train. She had the nerve to be eating a granola bar in front of me.

okokokokokokokokokokok...OK...she's pregnant, I know. She's SUPPOSED to be eating to keep her strength up, I know. She's eating for two, I KNOW dammit. That doesn't mean I have to LIKE her eating a granola bar in front of me, does it?!? Yeesh, it wasn't even one of those yummy moist granola bars. No, it was one of those dry, crumbly good-for-you-but-tastes-like-sawdust granola bars. Pathetic, isn't it?!? My life has been reduced to taking down a pregnant woman for her not-even-yummy-looking granola bar. If it means anything, I am embarrassed...well, sorta embarrassed...:)

OK poppits, 'nuff of the self-pity party. It's time to go to take out all my frustration on the evil lady bugs then hit the hay. I'll sleep well tonight knowing I've saved the world from the likes of two, killer bugs....you're welcome!

Cheers!
(a) yt xox

What's going on with ME?!?

2009-10-18T11:55:00.000-07:00

Two weeks since my last blog?!? What is that all about?!? Seriously, it's not like I haven't had alot of great stuff going on...sheesh!

Well poppits, let me bring you up to speed on what's been going on...

As last mentioned, I was about to embark on my next adventure in eating. For 21 days, I was to eat nothing but organic chicken and organic brown rice. My intention was to do this Oct. 1 to Oct. 21st, inclusive. Then I'd put my somewhat thinner arse on a plane and head to Phoenix for a weekend of controlled decadence. Soooooo....I did eat my chicken & brown rice through Oct. 14th and lost 6 lbs. (applause, applause). Yeah for me!! I actually enjoyed being able to eat rice - seriously, it's the little things! I am quite proud of what I achieved...
1) my 6 lb. weight loss
2) regaining my self-control
3) survival through the hell that was Thanksgiving - honestly, does anyone else hear homemade butter tarts call YOUR name?!?

I was quite excited about stepping on the gym scale, seeing that weight loss...then it happened. The Evil One burst my bubble, as only he could do...

I am now living the next chapter that is the saga of my eating life. I am to eat only three meals/day of which only one of them is chicken & rice. On the positive side, I get to eat vegetables now...but no dressing. Just plain veggies and chicken...more chicken. Admittedly, I'm getting really bored with this. I know it's bad when I start fantasizing about sauces ... not chocolate, but tomato and mushroom gravy. Pathetic, isn't it?!? I went to a restaurant with a friend who ordered chicken enchiladas. I barely remember the conversation because I kept drifting off as she put the food into her mouth. Even MY imagination couldn't stretch my grilled chicken & steamed carrots into chicken enchiladas...sigh...

Now, I'm not feeling sorry for myself. I know better. But sometimes I get really frustrated with the situation. I'm being honest here. On the one hand, I know I am closer than I've ever been to my optimal weight and that, when there, it will be the most amazing accomplishment of my life. I know this and BELIEVE it will happen. However, there are times (seem like alot of times lately), when I'm at my wits end. There are times when I just want to give up and give in to the Mrs. Fields' cookie stand at Union Station. I hear people tell me two different perspectives:

- just give in to the craving, but when you do, eat within limits
- don't give in, ignore the craving and press on

I've tried both approaches and know myself well enough to know that when I give in to the craving, I NEVER eat within limits...remember my "cheat days"?!? It took me weeks to recover from the renewed cravings that took over my mind!

I guess it's all good learning, I suppose. At the end of the day, I will get through this. Honestly, melodrama aside, there are worse things that could happen to me. On the success front, I'm down 52 lbs. in total....WAY cool!! I'm the most active I've ever been in my life...also cool! It's all good....right?!?

OK, so now I feel better. I'm off to buy my organic chicken for this week. Thanx for listening, poppits!

Here's to a new week!
(a)yt xox

Productivity: It's not all that's it's cracked up to be

2009-09-27T13:25:00.001-07:00

It's 4:24 and the most productive thing I've done is recharge my iPhone battery....and I'm ok with that!

I'm still fighting my cold with a sore throat that won't go away. Today we've added itchy eyes, a cough and more sniffles. I know, it's just a cold so I'll stop being such a whiner. The thing that's bothering me the most is the fatigue! I've been a couch potato today, watching videos and eating as if I were at my goal weight! So, once again, I seem to have lost all self-control. I'm trying not to get annoyed with myself, but I now realize I must do something drastic in order to regain my will power. I think I have the idea, too.

OK, so this is going to be my wackiest adventure of all. Many of you will think I'm going to an extreme and some of you will want to have me put into a rubber room in a straight jacket, but hear me out....

So, in my last workout with The Evil One, he asked me how my eating was going and, once again, I was unable to answer that I was back on track. It seems like it's the story of my life lately. He made a suggestion that I thought was...well...psychotic. At first, I fought it tooth and nail, but as I was being tortured in the workout the idea started to grow on me ... like a bad fungus ... or a ingrown toenail. So I started to ask questions, still unconvinced, but I could feel my mind opening up a bit. Now, I guess I'm in full & total acceptance of the idea since I'm about to share with you my latest dietary expedition....ready?

Drumroll, please....

Starting Oct. 1st, I will eat NOTHING BUT organic chicken and organic brown rice for 21 days. I know what you're thinking ... "she's finally lost it." ... "the lack of carbs has consumed her sanity"...I hear ya...and feel ya. But let's just take a moment to think about this....

PROS:
- it's only for 21 days
- I'm told I will shed "a TON" of weight and fat
- it's only for 21 days
- when I finish the end of this 21 days, I will have reclaimed my self-control
- really, it's only 21 days!

CONS:
- I will be clucking by the end of the 21 days
- it's THREE WEEKS, for the love of God!
- I get to eat carbs...even if it is only brown rice
- I'll become more creative in how I cook chicken

I won't get scurvy from not eating vegetables in 21 days (believe me, I checked). I just need to eat my multi-vitamins.

Doesn't this sound exciting?!? I'm thinking the timing is good because I'll have been on this for 9 days before the Thanksgiving weekend, so I'll be in my "zone" and disciplined. And it ends just before I head to Phoenix for a glorious Lebanese dinner cooked by Mona ... a great reward!

I'm kinda keen on this and, almost excited. I really do need a jump start again and I think this the way to go...challenging, but at the end of it, extremely rewarding!

Allrighteythen....on that note...until Wednesday, my poppits, eat well!! BTW, if anyone wants to join me in this adventure, feel free to let me know!!
(a) yt xox

Sniffles...a sore throat ... fatigue ... a fever...

2009-09-23T17:48:00.000-07:00

all that equals a big, "uh-oh" for me. I'm down with a cold...dang! I'm fighting it and find myself sleeping alot, so I guess it's all good but I really hate being sick. Poor me, eh?!? So, I'll stop whining now. You may want to NOT see me in person for the next few days, if you don't want to be sick....

For some reason, I've been thinking about my dad alot lately. Sunday night I was having a series of really bad dreams ... like CSI or Criminal Minds kinda dreams...it wasn't fun. I kept waking myself up just to stop the drama that were my dreams! The last one I remember was of a memory of when I was 5 and vomited. At that age, getting sick was not fun and quite scary, so I remember crying after I'd puked outside the bathroom (that's right! Didn't even make it to the toilet - not sure who had to clean that up!!). Anyway, my dad scooped me up and brought me to the recliner where he cuddled me and sang "Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ra" a la Bing Crosby. I just remembered feeling completely peaceful, safe and calm while cocooned in my dad's lap. That was the memory I finally fell asleep to Sunday night. It was a great feeling.

Yesterday, I was standing on the GO Train platform and noticed a bunch of squirrels hanging out in a tree. It was like the party tree for squirrels...they were coming and going like crazy. At one point, I counted 6 squirrels in this tree and I couldn't figure out what was going on. Then I saw a squirrel come away from the tree with three nuts in its mouth and I realized it wasn't the party tree but rather the food bank for squirrels! I was reminded of my dad again. I was in high school and he was into telling me corny jokes. I remember sitting at the dining room table at dinner with my mom, dad and brother, Chuck. The conversation went as follows:

Dad: Yvonne, they're looking for you.
me: Who?
Dad: The squirrels. They're gathering nuts!!

Cut to dad laughing like crazy with a twinkle in his eye...and mom smirking and looking at dad shaking her head, yet a little proud...Chuck groaning yet smiling that his dad made a funny...and me rolling my obnoxious teenage eyes feeling like "what EVER, dad"...

Interestingly enough, that memory roused by watching squirrels in a tree, triggered thoughts about three people once in my life who are now gone. I'm not sure what this means, but it's kinda peaceful for me. I'm feeling like I'm being watched and protected.

Well, except for my workout yesterday....

Clearly none of these "protectors" were with me as The Evil One was torturing me with my toughest workout ever. Yeesh! There was no mercy and it didn't stop. At one point, my heart was pounding so much I thought it was going to come out of my chest and just fall onto the sled I was pulling. I did the legs first, toggling between the leg press and this other torture machine. In between, I pulled the (insert expletive here) sled. That's when I thought my heart was going to beat out of my chest. THEN we went to the arms...yippee! At the end of the arms, I was doing that STUPID (more expletives) plank exercise where I had to hold myself straight balancing on my arms and toes. By the end of the plank, my whole body was shaking and I could barely lift myself up from the mat. And sweaty?!? Oie!!!

So, what's the lesson here? It's good for me and I need to do the work, so I should just SUCK IT UP!!! But at least I can whine about it, right? Thanx for letting me vent...

OK, I need to go to sleep now. I hope this makes sense. Who knows what my infected mind has been typing...

Can you say "Drama Queen" boys & girls?!?

G'night poppits! Wash those hands....
(a) yt xox

"DOH!!"

2009-09-21T12:14:00.000-07:00

That's what I said this morning when I realized I didn't update my blog yesterday! Yes, Emmanuel sent out his blog with diligence, but did that trigger ME to update my blog?!? Nooooo....zoinks! Sorry folks....

I have lots to tell, having completed my third and final week of the Adler coaching course. It was a bitter sweet ending, come Friday. On the one hand, I was happy to be finished the course work and move into the practicum stage. On the flip side, I was bummed that I won't be in class with my Adler peeps anymore. I really enjoyed the learning - both my own self-learning as well as the learning of my peers. It's always amazing and humbling to hear of the self-discovery. Everyone's so open and honest, it's pretty cool!

We learned more coaching techniques for our "tool kit"...lots of creative stuff going on, including some improve exercises! Those who know me from my Second City days, can only imagine how much I enjoyed THESE tactics! We also did some visioning and metaphor work. It got my imagination working overtime and I had all kinds of images popping into my head! Fortunately, none of the images were violent or ugly...says the person who has "fantasies" of pushing people with Cinnabons onto the GO Train platform! I guess it's all relative...:)

ANYWAY....

I'd like to tell you about one of my "insights". There is an exercise where you "transform a metaphor" from a negative into a positive image. The image I had was one of a dog chasing it's tail. This is the image I get when I think about the two, looming deadlines approaching me...when my severance runs out and May 2010 when I climb the Inca Trail. Ever watch a dog when it's chasing it's tail? It's like they can't stop..."I'm gonna get it, I'm gonna get it"...even though it bounces off the wall from the dizziness and yelps when it actually bites the tail. You just want to say to the dog..."just stop, dough head!!!" That's how I feel sometimes when I think about these two, big goals...excited about the goal (i.e. financial success with ymt Strategies and reaching the top of The Inca Trail). However, I see myself getting dizzy and panicky ... bouncing off the walls and wanting to stop. Are ya with me or have you now flipped to checking your email?!?

So, I transformed this image into something more positive...I'm a dog, laying in it's cozy bed, eating and drinking when I'm hungry...getting a treat every once in a while...being unconditionally loved and loving unconditionally...playing in the park with other dogs, chasing balls, sniffing bums...all happy! This a much better image and instantly calms me down...well, except for the sniffing bums ...

So, I've recommitted to chillaxin' and enjoying the park! And would love your support and reminders when you see me chasing my tail. Interestingly enough, I received an email from my niece. It's about a woman who dines with an 80 year old woman who orders dessert and fattening things for lunch. When asked, the 80 year old went on about how she's old and wants to live her life to the fullest before she dies. My niece specifically sent it to me 'cuz I'm sure she was trying to tell me to "chillax and eat chocolate every once in a while!". It's a good message and one I will take to heart. Thanx Sandra for caring!!

BTW, I'm watching the Oprah Winfrey show where she's interviewing Whitney Houston. She's showing lots of images from Whitney's career and it's reminding me of the glorious 80s...the days of big hair, double shoulder pads...my, how I miss the football player look!! To this day, I still appreciate a good mullet!

Well, on that note, I'll say "buh-bye" ... see you Wednesday!
(a) yt xox

All I can say is....

2009-09-16T16:50:00.000-07:00

!!!! HOLY FATIGUE, BATMAN !!!!

Between the class and the Film Festival...oie! I know, I know..."puh-leez princess"... OK, I'll stop whining and tell you all the good stuff going on!

Let's start with class...it's awesome! The instructor, Lydia, is way cool...she's smart, got great business experience, let's us experiment, appreciates our diversity and guides us. With her, it's all about us and I like that. She's got a good sense of humour, too, so that really helps. Most of the people in the class I know, but there are a few new people I've met. We're all pretty different but we have a common interest and passion for coaching. We're learning some new, cool techniques..more "tools" for our tool kit. It's all good and we're having alot of fun, too. It's a good group of people.

Now, let's talk TIFF...I've seen three films and every one of them were awesome! Sunday night was a German film called "Same Same but Different". It starred David Kross (from The Reader) and it was about a German guy who goes on vacation in Cambodia, meets and falls in love with a prostitute. It was really good and the performances were very strong! Monday night was a French movie called "Partir", starring a SIZZLING Kristin Scott Thomas. She was a woman in a bad marriage then has an affair with a steamy Spanish builder guy...yummy! Her hubby became obsessed with getting her back and got all crazy. It was really good and Kristin is a great actress. Tomorrow is an English romantic comedy. It should be fun! I must admit to being a bit disappointed in not seeing any of the major galas. I'm a big star gazer and miss the action of the red carpet! I suppose I should just be happy I've seen good movies and shut my pie hole!

Speaking of "pie"...did I mention that my cravings and wild ass fantasies are back...like a recent one where I was locked in a Starbucks and I ate every one of their baked goods...with latte chasers...oh my, it was wonderful. Just me and the carbs...mmm.....

Despite my cravings and obsessions, I've managed to stay on track this week. No exercising, though but I haven't been home. This weekend and next week I'm going to be on track for that. I'm slowly getting back into my groove. I'm trying to stop beating myself up for blowing it in Alaska. Really, what can I do about it now. Anyway, enough of this...time to focus on moving forward. I've got so many good things going on, so I just need to enjoy the ride.

I thought I'd end the blog with words of The Warrior...'cuz I just feel like it!

Ways of the Warrior
I am a warrior;
I create every moment of my life
My choices are my reality
My response creates my outcome
There is no can't; I choose to or choose not to
There is no try; I do or I do not do
I am true to my own heart
I speak my truth...with compassion
I keep my commitments
I approve of myself...now
I don't have to please everybody
I don't take anything personally
I understand that how others judge me is about them
I look 'em in the eye; I tell 'em who I am & if they don't like it __ 'em!

G'night poppits!
(a) yt xox

I've got stars on my mind...

2009-09-13T14:20:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone! Well, we've had some glorious weather these past few days and I'd like to think it's to impress the stars and papparazzi whipping around our fair city this week. You see, it's that time of year again...no, not back to school (even though I do have class next week)....not fall...no, it's The Toronto International Film Festival, or "TIFF" if you're in the know!

For those of you who have known me for some time, you know that this is one of my most favourite times of the year - second only to the Christmas season. I admit that I get into the glitz and glam of all the stars (see my Facebook for pics from last year) and the good movies. I have been pretty lucky, seeing alot of really great movies and many fun stars (remind me to tell you of how I met my old boyfriend, Johnny Depp). This is my 11th year attending TIFF and I've only see a handful of really crappy movies, including one with Hugh Jackman. I don't really count that as too bad because Hugh is just good eye candy so a really bad plot can be overlooked when you're staring at his naked chest.

I bought a Globetrotter's pass again this year, which means I get to see 7 flicks in locations around the city. I went with Sandra, Joanne and Deborah Friday night to see our first film. It was GREAT! An Irish/UK film starring Cillian Murphy (from Red Eye where he was creepy), Jim Broadbent (Bridget Jones' dad & Slughorn in Harry Potter #6) and Brendan Gleeson (Mad Eye Moody in Harry Potter). It was funny, edgy, riveting with a really good plot and good acting. We all gave it a high on our rating scale! At the end of the movie, Ian (director), Cillian and Brendan (we're on a first name basis now) stayed after and did a little Q&A. It was all very nice and I was glad I got a chance to see it. Tonight, I'm off to see a German movie with David Kross, the young guy in The Reader. It looks like a romantic-ish drama. Anyway, it should be interesting!

The eating has been much better for me. Although I still have cravings, I've been able to dodge several food bullets, including resisting some yummy looking desserts at Marg's baby shower today. Oie! That was a difficult one. It was carbs central, so I ended up eating two helpings of the salad, carrots & celery with a spinach dip and cheese. Not the best of choices, but much better than the 12 desserts I wanted to inhale....or the yummy looking wraps...or the awesome looking sandwiches on croissants and foccachia...see my hell?!?

Yesterday I went to Stratford with Lorry & Dianne, in honour of Dianne's birthday. We went to Rheo Tompson...AMAZING mint smoothie chocolates ... and Rocky Mountain. Both were candy heaven for me and I wanted to eat everything in the store....I'm talkin' "EVERYTHING". I did break down and have a sampler mint smoothie and piece of fudge, but I'm proud of myself for resisting everything else I wanted to buy! It's sad, but "The Rationalizer" is back...ya know, the voice inside my head that can justify eating ANYTHING?!? Well, I don't like it. I understand I have alot of making up for the sins of the Alaskan cruise, so I must go through this torment again. Yeesh...all a good lesson. And to think that the food on the cruise wasn't really all that worth it! Now, if I was pigging out on Stone Cold Creamery ice cream everyday for 2 weeks, I'd at least be facing The Rationalizer with a smile on my face. But noooooooooooo.....

Well, tomorrow is the third and final week of class for my course. It's bitter sweet for me. On the one hand, it shows great progress towards the end of this journey. On the flip side, however, is that it will be the last classroom experience I will have at Adler. Which is a bit of a bummer 'cuz I like that environment. It just means I'm going to have to make sure I keep good tabs & in touch with the Adler peeps I've made, like Maggie, Victoria, Josie, Marc, Michael, Shauna & Svetlana.

Well poppits, it's time to sign off and get ready for TIFF. My boyfriend-but-he-doesn't-know-it-yet George Clooney is in town, so I need to pretty up!

See you Wednesday!!
(a) yt xox

Although "Consistency" isn't my middle name...

2009-09-09T19:52:00.000-07:00

"Avoidance" certainly could be! That would be what I'm doing by typing this blog instead of doing some school reading...sigh...

It's a Wednesday...at 11:00 pm ... and I've decided to take a stand. No more random-do-it-when-I-feel-like-it posts...nuh-uh....no siree bub...not for me! My friend Emmanuel (aka Motivator Man) has committed to updating his blog every Sunday and Wednesday with his Motivator Man tips. Well, I've decided I should commit to twice/week too. So, I've chosen the same days as Emmanuel to update my blog? Why?!? Because getting the Motivator Man email will trigger me to update my blog...clever, isn't it?!? Or, maybe just lazy...WHAT-EVER!!

I'm continuing my high with life and I'm happy to report it is neither caffeine nor sugar induced. Au contraire, mes amies. I've been following my diet very well since last I typed. I still have the temptations to buy treats but have resisted. And yes, random cookie boxes and ice cream bars call my name, BUT I RESIST!!! AND, I've exercised twice this week and heading to my third LPS workout tomorrow....all's good on that front, so yeah for me!

I should mention, since I'm on the topic of "workouts", there was a really kinda cheesy guy working out today. He started by winking at me as he hopped onto the bike beside me. Then he had the NERVE to yell at me "harder, harder" as I was pulling the (insert expletive here) sled along the floor. Can you believe it?!? If I wasn't struggling to breathe and not pass out, I would've given him a dirty look. Well, at least I did in my mind anyway!! Who did he think he was?!? I took satisfaction in seeing him grunt, sweat and almost pass out as Clance guided him through his torture/workout. I'm hoping Clance worked him extra hard for minding my business...that'll teach him....heh, heh, heh...Oh my...can you say "vindictive" boys & girls?!?

My training with The Evil One has been modified. I think I mentioned that we now do all legs, then all arms (vs. one leg, one arm; another leg, another arm). This is so much harder for me. I really liked the break the legs got by going to the arm exercises. However, according to Werner, it is SUPPOSED to be harder...duh! And the "good news" is that I've reached a point of strength where I can tolerate it. Oh goodee. I know it's all good for me and my progress is positive and yada-yada...but...owee...my bum hurts....and my legs...and my arms...

OK, The Ambassador of Positivity is back....the coaching stuff is just FAB-U-LUSS!! I met a new client today who is just an absolute delight! I'm really looking forward to working with her as I think we will work well together. AND, I had my first peer coaching session with one of my Adler buddies. To be honest, I was a bit intimidated by him - he's smart and confidant and a really good coach - so I was wondering just what the heck I could do for him. Wellllllll, I'm thinkin' it's gonna be good! I decided to tell my inner critic to "shut the HECK up!!!" and approached the conversation with a curiousity (to get to know him better), excitement (about stepping up my coaching game) and a chilliaxed frame of mind! After all, he puts his pants on one leg at a time, too! Anyway, I think it's gonna be just fine for both of us, so I'm looking forward to our next session!

I'm really looking forward to my third week of class next week. It's the week where, according to the notes, "Everything gets pulled together". That'll be cool! Plus, beginning my practicum will also be good. I have our first practicum call tomorrow...after I meet with Motivator Man for coffee. We're off to the Starbucks at the BCE where we get our fill of caffeine & business suits! It's a lively location (the busiest one in Canada) and the energy is just buzzing!

Well, it's time for this one to get her beauty sleep! Don't forget to take your leap, poppits!!
(a) yt xox

Should one actually do work on Labour Day?

2009-09-07T06:16:00.000-07:00

Or would you be violating some kind of ethical or moral code?!? I'll do anything to get out of housework....yeesh!

Hello poppits! It's been far too long. A big part of the problem is that I have not been able to connect to the internet for at least 4 days now. Oh sure, I'm doing it now, but that's because I had to go to a Rogers store, get a new modem and steal the wireless network from some poor soul who hasn't figured out there are pirates who will steal his wireless network. I'm guessing it's a male, because the network on which I ride is called...and I kid you not ... "Tits4Dinner". See why I think it's a male? Hey! I'm not hear to judge, but rather I'd like to thank Mr. Exotic Dinner Choice for not locking his internet connection.

So the week has been a bit of an up and down emotionally for me. It started with a great AFOOFA meeting where I joined up after having missed the last 2 weeks. It was just Aubrey, Duane, Joanne, Jeff & I, but the conversation was quite inspirational. I then did a Myers-Briggs coaching session with Jeff, which always gets my mojo going! Aubrey, Duane & I had lunch and those guys just know how to motivate by simply believing in you! Needless to say, I was feeling pretty darn good by the time we walked out of the Apricot Tree and I headed home.

Then it started to happen...the events that triggered self-doubt, nervousness and yes, self-pity!

I had a message from a "Nancy" from the Employment Insurance office. For those who don't know, I'm "sucking it up" and applying for EI so I can get some dough coming in. Ya know, it all goes back to my "safety net" of cash flow. Well, in speaking with the ever pleasant, Nancy, I spoke the truth...no, I had not been looking for full-time work because I was pursuing my business. Well, spank my bottom and call me "stupid" because that was just the wrong thing to do. Needless to say my application was declined. So, I have gained alot of learning about the whole EI process, which, by the way, is NOT made clear on the website. There is alot of very valuable information about the process I learned, not from the government itself, but from friends who had gone through the process - very disappointing! Anyway, I'm going to appeal my claim and I will put in an effort to find full time work. After all, if I could find a job where I'm coaching full-time, why would I turn it down?!?

So, that sent me into a bit of a tail spin....self-doubt about pursuing a career change ... fear of never making any money on this career ... resignation that I would have to go back to working full time in project delivery or marketing ... etc. etc. OK, so I'm a bit of a drama queen, but it was a struggle for me.

Then, the clouds parted and the sun came out.

I was given a free ticket to Julius Ceasar in Stratford, so I road-tripped with Tony's girlfriend Carol. It was great getting to know her better and I'm SO HAPPY she's come into Tony's life. They're awesome for each other and he certainly deserves someone so wonderful. Anyway, Carol and I hung out in the Avon Theatre Store where I saw a plaque that said "LEAP and the net will appear". It was like a gentle smack upside the head, reminding me of the importance of my leap of faith.

THEN...oh yeah, it gets better people ...

I picked up the mail and got my first cheque for ymt Strategies from the gig I did in Chatham. Yeah!

THEN I got TWO referrals for paid coaching gigs ... and THEN (can you stand it?!?)

Barb (transition coach extraordinaire - remember her from my FelixGlobal days?) contacted me and spoke to me about training with her to take on some career transition clients and, possibly, including me as an associate on her website! How cool is that?!? That's like my nirvana...being mentored by someone I respect and getting referrals from other coaches...for coaching!! It's awesome!

Sooooooo.....I've stepped away from that ledge to which I've recently been clinging and am falling gloriously to the ground. Once again, I don't know where I'll land or when I'll get there, but I know that the wonderful feeling of the air on my face as I free fall towards something great is back and I LOVE IT!!!

Join me, poppits, in this glorious state of risk-taking! Is there something you've always wanted to do but didn't know how it would turn out? Just go for it...seriously...It's an amazing feeling. And remember....

LEAP and the net will appear

TTFN!

(a) yt xoxo

Alaska IS "God's Country"!

2009-08-30T19:32:00.001-07:00

Whether you believe in God or not, which I do, you can gaze at the natural beauty of Alaska and question the existence of a higher being. Simply put, humankind would never be able to create such wonder!

Hello poppits! I am back and still on Alaskan time, which is why I'm typing with such feverish energy at 10:34 pm!

Well, it was an AMAZING trip. I joined the other 4 travelers in Vancouver where we hung out for a day, meeting up with old friends (The Hamades). The weather was awesome and so was the company. John, Lorry, Sandra and Joanne were in great spirits, having had 4 days of fab weather and good sight seeing. They all love Vancouver...what's not to love?!?

We boarded the cruise ship Wednesday afternoon and just hung out until we left port. I got my first experience with the voluminous food that was to taunt me for the rest of the week...oie! For those of you who have never been on a cruise, lemme paint a little picture....

- imagine sections of hot food ... everywhere ... all the time ...
- imagine the food sections with various countries of origin...like Mexican...Chinese...Greek...dessert....
- imagine every kind of food you want ... then imagine a never-ending supply of said food...
- imagine this food representing all of the essential food groups...like dairy...and protein...and fruit..and dessert...

So, I indulged a little bit...ok, that is a bare-faced LIE! I indulged ALOT. Even though after every meal I said the same thing..."OMG! I can't believe I ate so much!" and rolled back to my cabin. While it was, indeed, a glorious pig trough the entire time, I did manage to get four workouts for the duration. Well, actually three really hard workouts (like sweating and hating the machine workout) and one walk around the ship workout. I stepped on the scale today (it took me two days to work up the courage) and found I was up only 2 lbs. from my last weigh in. That's miraculous, to be truthful, so I'm waiting until my "official" weigh in tomorrow. We'll see where that goes!

Before I left, I did a self-directed, (insert expletive here) sled pull and saw Roland and Werner. Roland forewarned me of the "evil buffets", but I pish-poshed at him and touted my self control. Who was I trying to kid?!? So confidant was I in my ability to resist the evil buffets, that I committed to The Evil One that I would be down 5 lbs. by the time I returned. Seriously...am I brain dead?!? What was I thinking?!? So, basically, I have ... um ... two days now ... to purge myself of 7 lbs. Any suggestions on how to do that, without causing myself to go into shock or murder mode?!? Sigh....I can only imagine the next step....

I'm looking forward to this month, though. I have my third and final week of the Adler course work this month and my practicum starts. Yeah! I'm a little nervous about getting clients for the practicum, so if anyone's interested in career coaching, executive coaching, management coaching or life coaching, give me a call! My rate is real cheap. so get me early!!!

OK...end of shameless plug...

Well poppits, although I enjoyed my trip I must admit that it's good to be home. Believe it or not, I enjoyed my last 2 days of non-gourging. It was nice not to want to visit a vomitorium after every meal!

I hope you are all well. Thanx for sticking with me!

BTW, if you want to see pics of my Alaska trip, feel free to go on to Facebook and check 'em out.
Cheers!
(a)yt xox

He's baaaaack!!

2009-08-18T05:37:00.000-07:00

Well, the universe is right again. The heat alert in Toronto is gone...as is the smog alert. And Werner is back to being his Holy Crankiness. Oh sure, he's all kind & compassionate and everything, but he's back to riding my ass...bless his wee little heart.

It's been a very busy 5 days, poppits, so I'll only give you the highlights....

I'm typing quickly because I'm waiting for the cab that will take me to the airport for the beginning of my Alaskan cruise. Yippee!! I've had a little drama in anticipation for the trip...like for two days I thought I'd lost my passport. Needless to say there was alot of angst, tears and profanity. Thankfully, I found it and I am good to go. Also, had a few moments while packing, but I managed to cram (& I mean, "CRAM") my clothes into the smaller suitcase. Most things are dispensable which means I will have room for souvenirs. For the record, I feel that I may be taking this whole "purging" things a little too seriously. I mean, dispensable jeans?!?

I scratched some more things off my imaginary "to do" list, so I'm feeling pretty good about that. My home is in reasonable order now, including my schwanky, new sofabed in my spare bedroom. I just have a few, little piles of stuff to shred and deal with so coming home will be really nice!

So, at the expense of my Journey to Good Health, most other things are in order. It's true that I've been focused in some areas of this journey (like I'm still exercising regularly), other parts are pretty friggin' lame....like my eating habits. So, The Evil One can sense this...or perhaps it was the smell of the M&M I ate....whatever. Anyway, yesterday he made me get on that damn scale again and said my weight out loud, which he knows I hate...bastard! OK, so he whispered it, but still he said it! So, he made me make a commitment. While I tried "I'll exercise as often as I can" and "I'll only take little niblets of everything", he didn't buy it. So, I committed myself to being down 5 lbs. by the time I weigh in with him in 2 weeks. What was I thinking?!? How will this impact me?!? I had to sacrifice real clothes so that work out clothes could make the cut. In addition, I will have to forgo the midnight buffet and, most likely the dessert buffet. Oie! I keep telling myself "it's only food", but it hasn't quite registered yet. I've been debating about telling the people I'm traveling with. Most of them will be sympathetic to me, but sister Lorry will be merciless. She's got this whole "honesty & accountability" thing...yeesh! All she has to do is ask "would Werner be ok if he saw you eating that?" and I'm toast...sigh....I guess I'm gonna have to tell them. I'm thinkin' that telling them and being policed is lesser pain than having to face The Evil One if I haven't lost any weight.

Well, it's time to pack up the laptop and get ready for the cab. It's not likely that I'll be typin' at 'cha until after the cruise so have a good few weeks my friends!!
(a) yt xox

SURPRISE!!!

2009-08-12T14:24:00.001-07:00

I know, it's only 2 days since my last entry...I know, it's shocking isn't it?!? Well, I'm feeling a little better so I thought I'd write about it.

First of all, my ass hurts...which is a good thing! It means that The Evil One is back to being his 'ole "not-feeling-sorry-for-you-and-you're-gonna-work-'til-ya-die" self again! Yippee!!

Yesterday, the first thing he did was pull out the "contract" I signed and asked "How many times have you been in to work out on your own in the last two weeks, Yvonne?" He knew...and I knew he knew....but he made me say it anyway...which was just once. That's when he flipped to the back of my folder and pointed to the page I signed committing myself to working out at LPS 2x/week in addition to my guided workout. DOH! Even though I told him I was still working out at home, he didn't care. His response..."it's all about the accountability, Yvonne." The evil, beautiful bastard I've come to love and hate is back...I'm so happy! And boy oh boy, did he work me yesterday..oie! I did many lunges, squats and bench presses. At one point, he made me do squats and I asked him why I had to do them. I mean, I had just done lunges, what's the dealio? Apparently, he was concerned about my "form". I'm guessing it was because I was bobbin' & weavin' like I'd had a few too many as I was doing the lunges. He was squatting beside me watching & counting & at one point I was close to toppling over right onto him. I mean, what's he doing squatting that close to me anyway? Yeesh!

ANYWAY, it turns out my "squat form" leaves much to be desired. Yes people, it's possible to suck at squats! According to Werner, I need to "open up my hips", whatever that means. Quite frankly, given the spread of my hips I would've thought they were plenty open. Soooo, I'm off to do my own self-directed work out tomorrow and dammit it if I'm not watching what I eat now. I'm sure Evil One's next move will be to make me stand on that friggin' scale again...sigh...

I met with my coaching buddies Monday night. Can I just say how wonderful it was to see them all again? We had some GREAT discussion around the moral/ethical side of coaching, which was our group assignment. It was so good to hear the diverse opinions. They really are a great group of people - smart, caring, compassionate and pretty darn fun! I'm diggin' this stuff.

I've been able to check off some things from my "to do" list. For those of you who know me, the fact that I even have a "to do" list is quite an accomplishment! I'm feeling quite motivated and am getting lots of ymt Strategies opportunities going, in addition to putting plans into place for the community event for ACP International. It's all so good!

Yesterday, I met with an old acquaintance from CIBC. Her name is Katy and she went through the Royal Roads Executive Coaching program. We met to compare the two programs, but got to talking about how we can help each other out. Having been in Learning & Development at CIBC for over 10 years, Katy is certified to do so many amazing programs...and she likes facilitating courses. So, we were talking about how we can help each other out and increase our business opportunities. Once again, I'm really psyched about the possibilities that can be ymt Strategies!

With less than one week to go before heading out on my Alaskan cruise, things are coming together quite nicely. I'm cleaning my condo one room at a time, leaving the spare bedroom clean up for Friday when niece, Jennifer, comes over to help me declutter and do my Value Village dumps. It's all good, people....

Remember how I told you The Evil One went to Squamash two weeks ago? Well he gave me a card that has some words of inspiration on them. I quite liked them and thought I would share them with you. The program was called "The Warrior".

Ways of the Warrior
I am a warrior:
I create every moment of my life
My choices are my reality
My response creates my outcome
There is no "can't", I choose to or choose not to
There is no "try"; I do or I do not do
I am true to my own heart
I speak my truth...with compassion
I keep my commitments
I approve of myself... now
I don't have to please everybody
I don't take anything personally
I understand that how others judge me is about them
I look 'em in the eye; I tell 'em who I am & if they don't like it,_'em!

Waddaya think?!?

Take care!
(a) yt xox

Monday, Monday....again!

2009-08-10T11:12:00.000-07:00

Whoever said that "taxes & death" were the only sure things, forgot about the cycle of a new week. Regardless of the weather, your job situation, your financial situation, etc. the weeks still come and go without warning!

Well, it's been almost a week since last I typed. Since I'm in my pre-menstrual-analyze-everything mode, I started to think about patterns in my short blogging life when I'd go for long phases without typing something. In general, there are 2 reasons for my delays:
1) I can't get to a computer either because I'm too busy or out of commission traveling or
2) I'm too bummed to want to sit down and reflect on how bummed I am!

Right now, I'd say I've been in the #2 phase for a bit of time. Although I've got glimpses of good changes on the horizon...like, my niece is coming over Friday to help me clean out my spare bedroom and area...I'm still having challenges getting settled into things. This whole work-from-home thing really poses a challenge for me. Like today, for instance. My one objective was to finish my bio for my website and my "hire-yt" email campaign. Is it done? Well, a rough draft is. But what am I doing instead of proofing and editing it? Reflecting on the reasons why I can't get motivated to do it...what's wrong with this picture?!?

So, the bio isn't the only area that's been a problem for me....let's talk eating, shall we? On a positive front, I'm sitting at the laptop with my belly full of salad and grilled chicken. On the less than positive front, this is the first meal I've had that hasn't had some kind of carb - grain (like the rice & lentil dish I made for Tracey last night); sugars (like the honey-coated almonds I had Friday) or dairy (like the latte I had Saturday). In stepping on the scale this morning, I find myself up 2 lbs. Needless to say, I'm feeling pretty poopy about that! Soooooooooo, I'm back to trying to self-motivate...'cuz that's worked so well for me in the past....NOT!!

Tonight I'm meeting with some of the Adler coaching crew. I'm going to see about engaging one of them to help me get back on track. I need the accountability again...or more like a good, swift kick in the pants! I can't believe I'm saying this, but I've missed The Evil One these past weeks.

Speaking of "Werner-the-evil-trainer", he's come back from a week away in Squamish, BC. He did another self-development/awareness thing. It sounded pretty cool and he got some great insights. I heard some of them last week as he was torturing me, but I have to admit, he's become a much "gentler" torturer. Last week, instead of yelling at me "Come on, Yvonne. You can do this!" He said..."What's your goal, Yvonne? What are you at now? How many do you have to go?" While I did get the motivation required to go from 10 to 25 leg presses, I didn't like having to actually a) do math and b) speak while pushing 75lbs on each leg....but I did appreciate the new perspective. I guess my having to do math and speak were the distractions I needed to get to 25. Anyway, I'm going to have to get used to this new approach, I suppose. Take comfort in knowing that The Evil One rolled his eyes and made a disgusted sound when I told him my eating wasn't going well...now, that's ma boy!

On the exercise front, things to be taking shape there. Although I didn't hike this week, I did get out and do a 7.5 KM walk and hit the treadmill twice for the hill program. I felt great after each workout! Tomorrow I'm back with Werner and Thursday I'm going in to LPS to pull that (insert expletive here) sled. For the balance of the week, it'll be another walk and/or bike ride and treadmill. At least I'm still exercising.

OK poppits...time to get back to my bio. Thanx for indulging me while I was distracted!!
(a)yt xox

Hold on to your skirts, poppits...

2009-08-04T12:13:00.000-07:00

..a storms a-brewin'!!

Once again, we seem to be in the endless weather turmoil of back-to-back thunderstorms. I don't know what's going on, but it sure is a wacky weather summer for us! Weather like this just makes me want to curl up with a good book or movie and escape everything - the disaster that is my home; the outstanding homework assignments; the many administrative things I should be doing for my work - see why I want to escape! But alas...I have not allowed myself to indulge completely. No sirree, bub...I've done a few good things to keep me moving forward. Like.....
- I walked 6.7KM of the 10KM path I mapped out Saturday
- I went with Lorry and walked around Crawford Lake Sunday morning
- I have regained control of my bad-boy eating habbits
- I completed one of my Adler coaching assignments today, forwarding to my buddy Svetlana for review and comments before submitting to the rest of the group
- I purchased some spiffy organization boxes and magazine holders to put my office supplies into, so it can look schwanky AND be organized

These are all good things, aren't they?!? Lately I'm in verbal "self-flagellation mode", abusing myself whenever I get the opportunity. I'd say my inner critic "Michelle" is working overtime! Yeesh..."my place is a pig sty" (which it is!); "my plants are drooping so water them already"(which they are); heck! even my hair is not above reproach! OK, it really is time to refresh my colour and let's face it, the humidity in the air is never helpful, but yikes! I can't even look in the mirror without rolling my eyes and praying for eternal darkness. This is not a good thing, is it?!?

Tell me that other people experience this level of self-doubt and self-abuse?!? Surely to goodness I can't be the only one who's going through this...am I?!?

Well, in the spirit of being the friggin' Ambassador of Positivity, I need to remind myself of some of the great things I've got going on in my life...for the love of God....

OK, here goes...
- how 'bout those friends and family, people?!? Like new-found gift, Maggie, who is committed to doing a hike with me, even if it kills us both! Or what about my sibs & nieces/nephews who CONTINUE to make me proud to know them? And what about all the folks I've met through my Adler courses? These people rock, ya know! And for those who continuously read my blog, despite the inconsistency in my entries...thank you for that support. It's so great to know that SOMEONE is listening!!

- how 'bout all the good stuff happening with the coaching career...like the 6 sessions I just did in Chatham...and the individual clients I have...and the courses I'm taking through Adler...and the stuff I get to do through the Association of Career Professionals? All good stuff....

- oh, and how 'bout the fact that, even though I struggle on occasion, losing focus and patience, I'm still down 47 lbs. from a year ago?!? Not to mention I'm the most active I've ever been in my life.

RIGHT ON FOR ME!!!

Ya know, I've always felt that it's not always a good thing to "toot your own horn". I was brought up to be humble and to not worry about recognition...just do your best. Well, forget that my brothers & sisters!! Toot away! It's so great to acknowledge the good things in your life and how you've been instrumental in bringing them to life. Oh sure, give credit to others, when it's required. BUT at the end of the day, if you can't accept the greatness in yourself, how can others accept it?!?

So, I encourage you to write down all the wonderful things about you. If you can't think of any, email me and I'm sure I'll be able to think of at least 10 things for each of you! That's why you make me proud to know you....

Feeling good, poppits...feeling good!!
(a)yt xox

It's the last day of July...

2009-07-31T06:59:00.000-07:00

...sigh...

I'm typin' at 'cha live from the dining room table of my bro, Tom & sister-in-law, Dianne's home. He's got wireless internet..ooh, baby!! Tom doesn't know how it works, and he almost forgot the password to get in, but he's got wireless. I love it! My brother is da bomb...seriously!

Well, I did the 6 one-on-one Myers-Briggs "translation" sessions yesterday. The group represented the managers and director of the Chatham-Kent Public Health Unit. Nice folks and a very interesting dynamic of personalities! I love this stuff!! Many of them really opened up to me about some of the challenges they face with their teams. They seemed to appreciate the insight & context I was able to provide based upon their Myers-Briggs personality preferences. I felt pretty darn good about the conversations and saw at least one "a-ha" moment from each of them. It's a great feeling!

After the day, I met high school friends Kelly & Lisa for dinner. I hadn't seen Lisa for at least 10 years...she's still the same and said I was still the same. That is just cool! We spent almost 3 hours in "Glitters" downtown restaurant that was opened in Chatham when I was in high school. It was the be all and end all when it opened - a real happenin' place. Now it's home for many birthday celebrations and gossip sessions! Nothing about the place had changed, including the paint chipped walls in the ladies' washroom...love it!!!

The week seemed to have flown by. Honestly, I don't know where it went! Lemme see if I can do a quick summary of the events....

On the health front...eating has been pretty good...until I hit Chatham. I've eaten a few, too many carbs while here, including toast with peanut butter and a few nacho chips. Add to it that I only exercised once this week and that was a treadmill/weight lifting thing. Sooooo, not looking forward to stepping on the scale Monday. I did, however, drive out a 10.5 KM walk. It will be, if anything, scenic! I head east then south along the Lakeshore, then north, then west, then south, then north, then west then south! It's quite a jaunt and combines two of the walking "trails" I already do. I'm looking forward to tackling it - perhaps Monday. Next week for sure. There are plenty of coffee shops and convenience stores along the way, should I require some rest breaks. I'm not sure if I'll complete the whole 10KM in the first run, but my intention is to do so! Wish me luck!

I'm staying in Chatham today, then heading back to Mississauga tomorrow morning. I'm looking forward to a day of R&R by the pool, then a chick's night with Dianne & Lisa tonight. That should be fun! Sunday is a hike with Maggie, weather permitting.

Well, I'm off to meet an old grade school chum, Annette for breakfast at Eli's. My brother raves about Eli's breakfasts, so this should be good!!

Will the rain ever stop?!?

2009-07-26T16:14:00.000-07:00

Yeesh! Now I understand why people are complaining so much about the weather!

Today I went for a walk, when it was sunny. I was psyched, thinking I was gonna map out a walk that was at least 10K. I'm telling you, I was motivated people! But then, 40 minutes into the walk, I've got my groove goin', my butt wiggling to the latest 80's rock tune playing on my iPOD, then I see a flash and hear "crack" and know that I'm not gonna make it home in time. Sure enough, not only do I have to cut my walk short, but I end up soppin' wet for the last 20 minutes of the walk...oie!! Oh well, at least I got 40 minutes in!

I met with some of the Inca Trail chicks last week. They're a great lot and it was good to meet them. We discussed where we should be in our training and, basically, I'm kinda behind! We're supposed to be doing cardio 3x/week, strength training at least once/week and a hike once/week. So, it's time I get busy! I also realized I need to step up the diet too. It's time to really focus and get this weight off.

I spoke to The Evil One during my training session. When I asked him for suggestions for "stepping up" the weight loss, he got a bit of an evil grin on his face and said "well there is something you can do". All he needed was an evil laugh and I would've sworn he was auditioning for a part in "Mad Scientists". Anyway, he suggested that I do a 24 hr fast, once/week. I did my usual protest-like-hell and then started to warm to the idea. By the end of the conversation, I was committed to doing it (at least in my head), and Werner promised to provide me with more information. Given that he's now enroute for a week of soul searching in Squamish, BC, I'm thinkin' it will have to wait for a week. Anyway, I think this will be a good thing. I've heard that fasts aren't so bad and really, people do it all the time. If anyone has any feedback or thoughts on fasting, lemme know. Thanx!

So, I mentioned I had my first guided workout Thursday. Yikes! I felt quite weak. Although I did the same workout, I didn't do as much weight as I did before I left. Once again, I'm amazed at how much you lose over a short period of time! My butt hurt...my knees hurt....even my toes hurt, for the love of God! I don't know how or why my toes hurt, but they did! Soooo, back to my Epsom salt bath and muscle aches neutralized! They also helped me have a great sleep!

So, this week is about business development. I'm meeting with someone tomorrow who I might be able to work with to facilitate some workshops. That would be really cool. Then I'm doing my coaching sessions in Chatham for the end of the week. It's all good.

Gonna have to figure out the exercise thing and, of course, focus on eating better, oh, and find a day to fast...yada, yada....

Well, have a great week, poppits!!
(a)yt xox

Where did the week go?!?

2009-07-23T09:23:00.000-07:00

Greetings & salutations!!

I just re-read my last entry and thought "wow!! It's been a busy week!" Alot has happened since that last entry, so lemme fill you in on the deats!

First of all, Thursday & Friday of the class were, by far, the best of the week. I also entered Thursday morning with an attitude adjustment. After all, it was a new day with no mistakes...why NOT be happy?!? I had a good conversation with Elizabeth, coach extraordinaire, and realized that hey! Maybe I'm not so bad at this coaching thing. And maybe others were feeling like fish out of water, too (turns out, they were!). And maybe I can learn a little about myself from this angst....like, theory and methodology are good to help provide context and framework for the coaching conversation. So what if it makes me feel like I want to poke my eye with a red, hot poker? SUCK IT UP, SISTER!! Which is pretty much what I did ... and the remaining two days went much better. As a matter of fact, by 9:30 am Thursday, I was back to my old self. Thanx to the support of the awesome people in my Foundations course and to Elizabeth, of course. Good peeps, I tell ya!

It helped that I signed up two coaching gigs as well...yeah for me! I'm off to Chatham on the 30th to do one-on-one Myers-Briggs "translation" sessions, where I help six managers understand their Myers-Briggs profile and preferences and how that may impact their communication style and their approach to work and leadership...all good stuff! Shout out to Kelly for the foot in the door! Stay tuned....

I got an email from Heather yesterday outlining where we should be at in our training for climbing the Inca Trail...oie! According to her, we should be doing at least one hour of cardio and strength training EVERY DAY! AND, like that's not gonna kill me, we should be doing at least one hike/week. OK, so the hike will happen weekly starting August 2nd, thanx to Maggie. But the other stuff? Not so much. Fortunately, I've scheduled weekly training sessions with The Evil One, starting today....which is good. However, I have got to figure out how to work the other hour/day into my oh-so busy schedule...sigh...

I came in to LPS to work out yesterday for the first time in 5 weeks. Because it was "self-guided", I ended up pulling that (enter expletive here) sled. Clearly, it had been a long time since I'd done that exercise because my heart was pounding through my chest and I was sweating like a cold Coke on a hot day... after only one pull of the sled across the floor! YIKES!! I can only imagine what today's workout with Werner will be like. Here's hoping he's in a good mood...

I've been experimenting with the food thing. I've decided it's time to step it up on the eating. I'd been acting like queen of the hop...drinking lattes, eating oatmeal for breakfast...heck! I even ate a scone from Whole Foods!! Come on, yt, party's over now! I'm gonna save the 9-hour window for when I want to kick start things again, so I'm back to eating my protein breakfasts. The good news is it will put me into a better routine again. I found when I was doing the 9 hour window, that I'd forget to take my fish oils & vitamins. Such confusion, honestly!

So....recommitment to me & my poppits...
- no grains or sugar (including but not limited to scones, granola and/or oatmeal)
- dairy limited to one yogurt/day (buh-bye lattes...sigh)
- goat cheese once/week
- fruit (max 2 servings/day)
- and portion control, for the love of God...

re: exercise....1 hour/day; 1 hike/week

I'm gonna see where this brings me. In terms of my weight loss goal (i.e. 22 lbs. by the end of July), well, I still have about 18 lbs. to go. I'm thinkin' that the end of July is a little aggressive for that particular objective, so I'm looking to achieve that before I go on my Alaskan cruise (August 18th).

Hold me to it, people. Just remind me that I asked you to do so when I give you "the look" or start to cry if you see me cheating!

Take care and stay dry!
(a) yt xox

Is 9:00 pm

2009-07-15T18:35:00.000-07:00

an acceptable time to crawl into bed?!? I wonder because I'm about ready to fall down with exhaustion and it's barely scraping the 9:00 hour...sheesh! I'm not sure why I'm so bagged. Could be that this week's course is mostly theory and not alot of coaching. That's always draining. Or maybe it's because I just had a meeting with a team of people where 2 of them sucked the life out of me. Or maybe I'm suffering serious carb withdrawals!! Who knows, but I do know that I will drag my fat arse off to bed a soon as I'm done typing!

I had a couple of positive things happen today that I thought were worth sharing. Firstly, had a great conversation with new buddy, Maggie, from class. Maggie is interested in getting back into shape and offered to go on hikes with me. We talked about doing a hike every Sunday morning. She's going to talk to her friend who's an outdoor-do-healthy-stuff guy and will get some ideas on hikes that challenge us. I'm going to see if Heather, Inca Trail coordinator, wants to join us. Yeah!!

The other positive thing was that I demonstrated real self-control in the face of temptation tonight. Remember that meeting I was telling you about earlier? Well, I bought some snacks for the group. I popped over to Canadian Tire - ok, so not the best choice for healthy snacks...good lesson learned! Nonetheless, I bought a bag of chips and a tin of chocolate covered almonds for the group. I ate NONE of them, despite the taunting I could hear from said almonds & chips. All I did was say "are they really worth it?" and that was that. Yeah for me!

Now I want to change gears a little bit. Is it me or has anyone else noticed an increase in the male "shifting" problem?!? Do ya know what I'm talkin' about? That not-so-subtle way men have of adjusting their package. What is it about the discomfort that makes the behaviour so urgent as to do it in public...in front of me?!? Seriously, do I snap by bra in front of you? Or pull up my boobs to make them look perkier (only Meryl Streep does that on Oscar night)? Or do you see ME pulling out a wedgie in YOUR face?!? NO...and you won't! So why is it that this week alone I saw 4 men (count 'em FOUR and it's only Wednesday) do this?!? No kidding...on the subway...on the GO Train...walking down the street...and in the elevator in my building (with his wife present). Male species, can you not WAIT until you hit a washroom to fix yourself?!? What makes this such an urgent need?!? Perhaps I need a cue stick and a couple of balls to appreciate the game of pocket pool....

OK, thanx for letting me vent...done now and going to bed!

Cheers to movin' down the hill towards the weekend and watching the 6th Harry Potter movie!!
(a) yt xox

Can you say....

2009-07-13T18:25:00.001-07:00

"avoidance", boys & girls?!? I have homework from my first day of class and yet, here I sit typing on my blog...see what I'm talking about?!?

BTW, sorry for the goof up. I'm not sure how to delete that extra post, so just ignore it...sigh...

Well, 1st day of "normalcy" today, although quite frankly sitting in a classroom for 7 1/2 hours really isn't all that normal for me! I mean that I'm back to taking my fish oils & vitamins regularly...back to eating healthy (vs. everything in sight)...back to exercising. Well, that last one was alreay part of my days, now wasn't it! Oh yeah...back to NOT sweating at the mere thought of going outside! Today was a gorgeous, sunny, totally reasonable weather day!

Many of us in the class are finding this particular week to be a bit more challenging than the Foundations course. There is a lot more content to absorb and less coaching. That last bit is a bummer for me. Plus, there are people in the course that had taken the Foundations course before us...strangers!!! Anyway, it all made for good learning. But I really should get to that homework...

I started taking the stairs again. For a while, I was taking the elevator at the GO Train station to minimize the pressure on my knees. Well, that's toast! No more coddling myself. I took the stairs at Union Station and I took the stairs in my building. Well, I took them to the ground floor because I couldn't find the stair well that went to the floors...need to find! I also did 30 minutes on the treadmill, increasing to an elevation of 12 and a top speed of 3.2. I could only manage that top level of 10 minutes without feeling like I wanted to throw up my lung, but it's something to keep pressing. My goal? Get to a higher elevation and a faster speed without a) tripping, b) throwing up and/or c) falling off.

OK..now I really MUST do my homework...

I hope everyone is doing well. BTW, feel free to let me know if you have any other suggestions to help prep me for The Inca Trail. Thanx to niece Sandra for treadmill tip - I'm not at the level she's at, but I will be one day! Maggie, awesome chick from class, has volunteered to hike with me. That's cool as long as she doesn't kick my ass on the hike..

OK...gotta go and do my homework now...:)

Later, poppits!
(a) yt xox

Can you say....

2009-07-13T18:25:00.000-07:00

"I'm a techno loser", boys & girls?!?

OK, so this one is the real post...check the next one!!

Sorry for the confusion!

Countdown to Week 2 of the course!

2009-07-12T19:30:00.000-07:00

Greetings on Sunday evening, around 10:30. Of course, my body is saying it's only 7:30, so here I sit at my laptop typin' a note!

Can I just say how wonderful it is to be home and with my stuff?!? Don't get me wrong, I had an AMAZING time in Phoenix and my brother John is a great host. AND, I really enjoyed the party and seeing all the sibs....however, nothin' says "home" like my body pillow...which is waiting for me in my own bed, with my own pillows and my own sheets...ahhh....

Well, I should catch you up on the last few days. Thursday brought the rest of the family to Phoenix and chaos abounded! We all went out to eat at Souper Salad where we decided to head to Stone Cold Creamery for dessert. I ate sparingly 'cuz I knew the heaven that was waiting for me. Lemme tell you, I was not disappointed! I was, however, high on a sugar rush like you wouldn't believe! I ate this straight-from-the-ice-cream-gods concoction of chocolate ice cream, caramel, brownies, almonds & chocolate sauce...all stuffed into a chocolate & peanut covered waffle bowl! Oie! My teeth are hurtin' at the memory of all that sugar. Fortunately, that's a once every 12-18 months treat. Ya know, like cheesecake or that triple chocolate cake I ate for my cheat meal. Anyway, it was worth it!

Friday, John, Lorry & I did our 8KM walk. The pace was much faster with the addition of sister "long legs" Lorry! That girl can move, lemme tell ya! But, I'm happy to say I kept up with the pace and even led the group a few times...yeah for me! Friday night we all went to a Turkish restaurant for Jimmy's birthday celebration where we all shook our bootays with the belly dancer. Poor thing! She was a good sport, even when my Uncle Paul shoved a $20 bill into her top...oie! You can pick your friends, but you can't pick your family...sigh...

Saturday was the big party day, where I spent the morning hangin' with homey, John at Baiz Market, a Lebanese food store. I was in charge of making kibbee (family tradition handed down to me from my father). In a 30 minute period, John & I consumed more carbs than we did for the entire week. But man! They were worth it! Fortunately, that was all I ate until I got to the party. Then, at the party, I went to hell in a handbasket....seriously! I could not control myself. Thank goodness for my niece, Sandra. I always felt the need to keep myself in check when I was around her. Of course, that didn't stop me from snarfing down everything in sight when she wasn't around, but hey! There were points of control!!

Anyway, did I mention it's good to be home?!?

So now my challenge is to keep up the level of activity while reigning in the bad eating habits! The eating part should be ok, but I should warn you not to eat anything sweet in front of me while I'm going through my carb withdrawals. I'm just sayin'....

My brother-in-law, Barry, gave me a good tip on how to better prep for the hikes. He's an experienced hiker, marathoner, triathaloner, he-man-pick-up-trees-and-throw-them-at-each-other-jock, so he's done alot of training. He suggested I start going up the stairs whenever I can. So, that's what I'm planning to do. I'm on the 5th floor, so I will do as many flights as I can, working my way up to 5...or higher!

Well, it's time to hit the hay. I start Week 2 of my course. I can't wait!

BTW, all the carbs and crap I ate yesterday has made me feel nauseous all day. Totally not worth it....when will I ever learn?!?

Cheers everyone!
(a) yt xox

The Hills are alive...

2009-07-09T11:00:00.000-07:00

...with the sound of my grunting, moaning & puffing....

Today was hike day. Up at 4:15 and at the bottom of Squaw Peak by 5:00 where Frederica greeted us. I was kinda excited (well, interested) in seeing how I performed the hike this time vs. last week. On the positive side, I finished it again! I also took parts of it at a much faster pace than I did last week, as Fred informed me (bless her heart!). I had to stop a few more times, though, as my heart was pumpin'. I had the same feeling I had last week where, at points, I just wanted to lie on the rocks and say "go on, just leave me to die!!" Fortunately, I controlled that urge...just like I controlled my urge to eat the peanut-butter-and-banana sandwich. Well done to me!

I've been really good about watching what I eat. Remember my commitment to "letting go" and just chillaxin' about my approach to food? Well, it's been very helpful. I only eat what I want to eat - like the whole bag of honey-sesame almonds from Trader Joe's and not the chocolate dipped ice cream cone from the Dairy Queen. I'm lovin' this approach! I know I will indulge in two things before the trip is over...Stone Cold Creamery ice cream and my brother's German Chocolate birthday cake. It's all good....

Today the rest of the gang arrives from Ontario. Everyone is so excited! It's going to be chaos, so I'm enjoying the solitude of the moment and the pawing from Pearl. I don't even mind that she wants to play "fetch". Where does she get the energy...and how do I get me some of that?!?

Until the next blog...later, gators!!
(a) yt xox

Swimming & sunning & napping...

2009-07-07T22:10:00.000-07:00

... oh my!

That was my day today. I think the toughest thing I did was to get out of bed at 5:15 and do the 8KM walk with my brother. Everything after that was smooth sailing!

I napped when I got home, after stretching and playing "fetch" with Pearl. Had lunch (chicken and lots of veggies...mmmm...) then headed to the pool. I am now, officially, a lobster. Well, at least on my upper body. The legs could use some more colour, but waddaya gonna do? I simply could NOT stand being in the sun any longer. In the 2-ish hours I was out there, I was in the pool 4 times and still I perspired. Honestly! I can't believe the heat here. It's overwhelming. Quite frankly, I don't know how the sibs are gonna handle it. Some of them do NOT do well with heat!

Today was a bad craving day. For some reason, I could NOT get the thought of a peanut-butter-and-banana-on-toasted-12-grain-bread out of my head. I'm telling you, it was all I could think about! Fortunately, I resisted, but YIKES! Enough already! Instead, I indulged in a few wedges of pita bread to soak up the dressing in my Greek salad at dinner. Not quite the same, but good enough. I also bought some yummy honey sesame coated almonds from Trader Joe's. Hey! Trader Joe's is a "healthy" store, so they can't be all that bad, right? Everything's fine in moderation, right? Oh, is eating 4 handfuls in one sitting "moderation"?!?

Sigh....

Up at 4:30 (yes, in the morning) and heading to the gym. CURSE YOU, TRADER JOE'S!!!

G'night my super-restrained inspirational friends and family!!!
(a) yt xox

Not your typical Monday...

2009-07-06T09:45:00.000-07:00

Well, I guess it would be if you're used to hangin' out in 110 degrees Farenheit! Honestly, I don't know how these Phoenicians survive this heat! I actually see construction workers doing their thang in the middle of the day...what's up with that?!? I feel so badly for them that I wanna just take a big 'ole water hose and spray them down. Of course, some of them have nice bodies, so my intentions are not 100% honourable... tee, hee... Movin' on...

Well, it's been an exciting and full two days since last I've typed! Let's start with Saturday. We did our walk, at 6:00 as promised. It was pretty good. It ended up being about 8KM and took us 40 minutes, so we made good time. Although it was hot, it wasn't the full-on"feel-like-you're-sitting-in-a-sauna-all-day" stifling hot temperature. I should tell you how we looked, as those of you who know both myself and my brother, John, will have an appreciation of our situation. Picture this..

Yvonne...hair pulled up into a teeny pony tail (small, but a pony tail nonetheless!); black head band pulling the rest of my hair off my face. Oh yes! My entire forehead and face exposed to the elements and anyone with the courage to look at me...add to this beautous look is my oversized tshirt (cherry red) and my capri-style black workout pants. Topping off this runway athletic fashion demonstration are my neon-striped-so-I-can-be-a-jock-in-the-dark blue & white runners. Can you believe someone hasn't scooped me up and married me yet?!? So....that's just me...now for my brother...remember the song "Let's Get Physical" by Olivia Newton John, where she's decked out in workout attire, headband and all, shaking her bootay on the video? Well, picture the male verison of that and you've got John! His outfit is truly practical, but um...well...not so stylish (not that I'm one to talk!). He's got on two "wife beater" tank tops, with shorts that are big for him...white socks that come just below his calf and running shoes. "That's not so bad", you're thinking...we'll add to that look, a lovely Dollar Store purchased black sweat band that stretches across the middle of his forehead..see what I mean? Are we a couple of fashionistas, or what?!? I guess it's a good thing we're out and about before the sun rises, isn't it?!? OK, 'nuf said about our fashion. It really is practical, but we could both use a little style! The sad thing is, we just don't care!!

After our walk and shower, John & I went to my favourite breakfast place - The International House of Pancakes (IHOP). I love that place! Not only do they make GINORMOUS omelettes, they give you a side of pancakes with warm-ish maple-like syrup. It's all very decadent and yummy! I ate 98% of my omelette (leaving 2 bites for my very envious brother), and 50% of my syrup-smothered Nut & Grain pancakes. Did I feel guilty or shamed at eating these treats? NO WAY, BAY-BEE!! This breakfast was well worth it. Besides, I knew it was gonna last me until dinner time, so I had no concerns!

After gourging ourselves at breakfast, we headed to The Anthem Outlet Malls - my favourite shopping place in this area. I'm telling you people, no one does "sale" like US Retailers on a holiday weekend. You can not believe the bargains I got! When we got there, John outlined his strategy - yes, my brother has a strategy for shopping these malls. I'm so grateful that he's a shopper! I welcomed his shopping wisdom and found myself following his mystic ways. Our strategy? Check out the stores, see what's there, then buy...loading purchased parcels in the back of the strategically located car throughout the process. It was a VERY good strategy. I felt no resentment towards people banging into my shopping bags, because I wasn't carrying any. AND, I didn't care about the bodies in the stores, 'cuz I knew what I wanted to buy (having looked earlier in the day before the crowd gathered) and went right to it. It was very good to let the Yoda of shopping guide my purchasing ways...

After a day of power shopping, we came home and had a healthy meal of chicken and salad. It was a really good day and we were both tired and in bed by 10:30. Such is my vacation...up at 5:15 and in bed by 10:30. I'm a crazy woman!!

Sunday was a glorious day! We picked up John's friend, Cornelia, and drove to Sedona. For those who have never been, you would love it! It has all of these gorgeous rock formations that have red rock and "healing powers". It's a very spiritual place, so there are lots of crystal holding, granola eating, cactus hugging nature lovers. And one can get any kind of "reading" that one desires done there, so it attracts quite an interesting group of people. Anyhoo, we climbed about 2/3 of the way up Belle Rock, which is my favourite of the rock formations. I have some great shots, which I'm hoping I can post.

I was quite proud of the hike and my ability to do it. It was considered to be "moderate". We walked 3.25 miles (about 5KM). It was a steady incline for most of the way with pockets of heavy duty, climbing-on-rocks action. Once again, I was grateful for having the ability to actually do the climb, but recognized I still have a long way to go to train...all good learning! I'm quite proud of my brother, John, who managed this hike quite well.

We met up with Greg & Joel. Greg will be joining us (Cornelia, John & I) on the Inca Trail, so it was nice to meet him. Then we all headed to Greg's CHARMING cabin in the smack of the woods. It was such a nice location and a great place to have our packed, very healthy lunch! Then back to Phoenix after a yummy dinner in Sedona.

Once again my left knee is really bugging me. It feels like there is a fist behind my left knee, so I know the muscles are really tight. I know I harp on about The Evil One , but I sure could use one of his torturous stretching sessions right now! I'm going to keep up the walking (treadmill at the gym, 8KM walk at home) and possibly do another hike with Frederica. I need to keep focused and, quite frankly, it's not so painful during the exercising, just afterward...like today when I have to get up in order to keep it from stiffening. Whine, whine, whine....enough!!!

Overall? This has been a GREAT vacation. I love that my brother is so focused because he's keeping me focused. His commitment is inspiring and dammit I'm gonna keep on it! I've decided I want to spend Christmas in Phoenix, so I want to be ... nay, WILL BE...at my optimal weight before I come here. There are all kinds of awesome hiking trails here, so John's promised we can do one when I come in December.

OK, 'nuf talking. Hopefully, I haven't lost anyone!
Take care and stay tuned to more Phoenix adventures!!!
(a)yt xox

I could get used to this...

2009-07-03T08:05:00.000-07:00

G'morning all! It's 8:05 am Phoenix time and I'm sitting in a schwanky office in my brother's building. Nice place, really. I could get used to hanging out here! Hmmmm....perhaps I should hang a shingle in Phoenix, too?!?

Well, I didn't go in to the gym today. Instead, I listened to Pearl, the dog, sit outside my door and bark for a good hour. Apparently, her razor sharp hearing could hear me, I dunno, breathing! Although she is a real cutie, I must confess to being annoyed with her. I mean, really, I blew off going to the gym, so what makes her think I'm gonna play "fetch" with her at that hour?!? Fortunately, like with all my borderline insanity thoughts, I managed to NOT act out the many things I thought about doing to her. Good thing I have self-constraint!

Last night, John, Jim & I went for dinner at another all you can eat soup & salad place. This one, I was told, was a little more upscale than the one my sister, Rita, and I went to yesterday. Given that the all of my siblings will be in town next week, I felt the need to investigate so I could make an educated recommendation on which place is best. You can't imagine the pressure I feel! Anyway, the place we went to last night, Sweet Tomato, had a very nice pasta bar and a yummy bakery section. Needless to say, I was in hell. Oh sure, I managed to fill up on the mega topping salad, but there was very little protein and even MY imagination couldn't stretch far enough to believe that the sliced carrots on spinach I was eating tasted like that gooey carrot lava cake smothered in buttercream icing. Oh great, now I have a craving for carrot cake...sigh...Anyway, for an additional $3, I'm guessing Sweet Tomato will be the restaurant of choice. Most people will be able to eat the goodies, anyway, so I think for them it will be worth it.

My brother informed me that we get to sleep in tomorrow (Saturday) until 6:00 am. Oh goodie! That is because we're not going to the gym. Instead we're going for a power walk of 5 miles. We can't go any later than 6:00 or else it will be too hot. Hmmm...I'm wondering why we couldn't wait until, say 8:00,then go to the air conditioned gym?!? I'd suggest it, but I think he's got his heart set on the power walk. Sheesh, the things one has to do for family...tee, hee!

Well, back to work now! So much on my "Phoenix to do" list. No rest for the weary....

Have a great day, poppits!
(a) yt xox

Ya just never know...

2009-07-02T10:45:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone!

Well, it's Thursday morning, about 10:45, Phoenix time, and once again I opted to nap vs. go into work with John this morning. I guess it's the whole getting-up-at-4:15-on-my-vacation thing that's making me beligerent!

Today we hiked part of Squaw Peak in Phoenix. I say part, because I never would've survived doing the whole thing! As it stands now, there were moments on this trail where I wanted to stop and throw up a lung. Well, it's all good learning. Learning that I still have a ways to go in prep for The Inca Trail...Learning that I need to continue my focus to lose weight and train like hell...Learning that I am grateful to have received NOW and not later!! I've not given up hope. On the contrary, it's just made me more resolved to shrink my fat arse and get busy on the prep. I'll have to tell The Evil One so he can work my legs even more. I know, clearly I'm suffering dimentia or deep de-hydration for having said that!

I was quite proud of my brother, John, though. He was barely out of breath and only twisted his ankle once! Poor guy. I can understand why he'd lose it, though, as the trail was quite rocky in places. I found the way down to be just as painful as the way up. Not so much on the cardio side, but my knees are killing me! Story of my life, isn't it?!? Oh well...more exercise...less eating of crap...GOING FOR IT!!!!

Tomorrow it's back to the gym with a greater appreciation for the hill program. I think a high, steady incline is a good way to train. It's an exhausting program, but I know it will be good for me. God help me to not fall off the treadmill...and God help the person behind me if I do!!

Well, it's off to the pool for a few hours. I must get some colour on these legs...seriously!!

Have a FAB day everyone!
(a) yt xox

Greetings from Phoenix, Arizona!

2009-07-01T10:26:00.000-07:00

And it's a blazin' hot time in Phoenix, lemme tell ya! Why it's hotter than Brad Pitt in Legends of the Fall...uh...anybody?!? Is this thing on?!?

Hi all! Well, I made it to Phoenix on an uneventful flight - that's a good thing! There was no turbulence and I was able to catch The Reader on my very own TV screen! Add to it, I had no one in my aisle...sweet!! I arrived about 40 minutes early, and was picked up by my bro, John. Now John has lost a good deal of the belly he had when I last saw him in November, so I'm quite proud of him!

I came back to his place and hung out by the pool for a couple of hours. Now people, it's BLOOMIN' hot by the pool. Even the deck, which is supposed to be a special heat-resistant material, was smokin'! I'm pretty sure that, if I hadn't moved my chaise to within rolling into the pool distance, I would've had blisters on the bottom of my feet. Seriously! Needless to say, we popped round Wal-Mart last night where I bought a cheap pair of flip-flops...and some yogurt...and some almonds! All good!!!

It's been an eventful week of networking and hanging out. I went to Ernie's "Good-bye CIBC " bash and had a BLAST ! I saw alot of people I hadn't seen in a long while. It was a good time, that's for sure. I did fall a bit off the path, though. Ernie and her friends did ALOT of baking and I simply could not resist a Turtle Bar...yummy! But it was a good decision since I only ate one and resisted the other delights that were calling my name. It was all good!

I should mention that I finally broke the plateau and am down another 1 lb. so that's 45 in total!! Yeah!!

So...back to Phoenix....

As I'd mentioned before, John has lined up at least 2 hikes for us while I'm here. The first, with Frederica, is tomorrow (Thursday) morning. In preparation for it, I got up with John this morning (at 4:15 am, thank you very much) and went into the gym with him. I did a pretty good workout on the treadmill (hill program) then started to flounder my way through some other workout! I did free weights for the arms. I only did 10 lbs. and could hear The Evil One calling me "Woosy". Well, perhaps it wasn't Werner as his expression would've been much worse. Anyway, next time I go, which will probably be Friday, I plan to kick it up some more. I was feeling a bit out of sorts and unsure of where everything was. That made me feel a bit awkward. Now? Who cares?!? I'm going for it! It will be a much better workout! In the meantime, I'm really looking forward to tomorrow's hike. It will be good to see where my endurance is at this point!

OK poppits! I hope you're all well. Once again, I apologize for not sending something sooner. Hopefully I'll be able to send more greetings from Phoenix!

Cheers!
(a) yt xox

We're havin' a heat wave...

2009-06-24T19:06:00.000-07:00

Well hallooooooooo!!! How has the week gone for all y'all? Mine was simply FAB-U-LUSS!! I had a wonderful rest of the week on my coaching course and a great beginning to this week. Life is darn good, my brothers & sisters!

First of all, a big hearty "heidi-ho!!" to the new blog readers from my Foundations of Coaching course. These are new supporters and new friends. We had an amazing time together, so the fact that they are reading my blog makes me proud and happy to have them in my life.

Sooooooo, lemme tell you about the rest of the class days. In a word...AWESOME!!! We did some amazing work. They tell you not to come to the course unless you are willing to be coached. Well, that is the truth. You learn so much about yourself ... just by asking a well-poised question! They're called "powerful questions" and when asked, the person who is sitting in the "client" chair sits back, takes in a breath and says "wow...good question!" I had a couple of those magic moments - ones that made me think deeper than I really wanted to go! That says alot about the people on the course and their amazing listening skills, and their curiousity & concern for others. It was so great to be surrounded by these kinds of people all week. I felt safe & secure, like I was a baby in a big 'ole blanket in my momma's arms. Um, not that I actually remember being in my mother's arms, but I think you catch my drift.

ANYHOO....I'm psyched because I'm back on track! I no longer feel the urge to eat everything that isn't nailed down. It's a good thing, too. I was VERY close to walking up to the Dairy Queen and ordering my very own waffle bowl sundae! Oh, I'm sure I still would've felt shame, shovelling the ice cream and toppings into my pie hole while sitting in the grungy toilet stall at Union Station. But I was ready to do it, people!!

Then I got to know a little bit about a guy in my class named, "Paul". Paul dropped 50 lbs. last year, just through portion control and by taking the focus off food. He didn't starve himself, he just controlled the amount of what he ate. Now THAT'S logical, isn't it?!? Imagine a world where planning your meals and counting your calories (or points!) doesn't exist. There would be no pressure about what went into your mouth, just the simple tasks of eating when you're hungry and eating until you're full. Seems so basic and yet...

OK, so maybe YOU already live in this world. If that's the case then you got it goin' on..seriously! Me? Not so much. MY world centres around avoiding certain foods and resisting violent urges when I see people who are eating Cinnabons. I've decided to take a page from Paul's book and lose the self-imposed pressure. I'm givin' it up now, people...say it with me....

I (insert name here) do hereby declare to me, myself and I the following:

- I will not obsess over the number of calories, fat content or carbohydrates in a peach
- I will not plan my dinner while eating my lunch
- I will not deprive myself of anything I want, including but not limited to cheese, chocolate & Jack Daniels
- I will, however, have only a taste of said "anything" and walk away feeling happy & satisfied
- I will eat only when I am hungry & not because John, Kate & 8 are breaking up
- I will eat until I am full, then step away from the plate
- I will eat slowly enough so that my brain can actually register when I am full
- I will look myself in the mirror every day and say "you ROCK!!!"

'nuff said. Everybody say "Amen"!

G'night, poppits!
(a) yt xox

When it feels right...

2009-06-17T18:09:00.000-07:00

it's right!!

I am sooooo lovin' the Foundations of Coaching course I'm taking. The people are GREAT and trust was established very quickly. It's an amazing journey of self-awareness and "delearning"! It's quite an eye opener. I feel pretty good about the skills I'm learning and the practice I'm getting. I'm also getting some positive feedback, so all is good.

One of the guys who is in the class talked about his personal experience around his own "journey to good health", which included climbing a 10,000 ft mountain in Alberta and losing 50 lbs. He said he attributed his success to just "letting go". It meant shifting his focus away from food and onto something else. Of course, I accosted him over the break and we had a good chat about our successes. It was really good for me to talk with him. It made me think about the next round of my journey.

Lately, I've been feeling in a rut...again! I know, "get over it"! Talking with "the guy" in the class was really helpful as it made me think about just chillaxin' over my approach to the journey. I've been used to the concept of "cheating" when I eat something I'm not "supposed" to eat. "The guy" said the best thing he ever did was to just stop worrying about what he can't have and have it all - with good portion control. He said the 50 lbs just "fell off". I thought that was cool. It's like he gave himself permission to enjoy the food in moderation. Neat concept!

Soooo...he got me thinking about where my approach is flawed. I think I need to take a good look at what I'm eating (i.e. content & portion size) and just enjoy! Not worry about what I put in my mouth and stay focused on the exercise. I also think I need a real partner in this journey. Someone other than The Evil One...someone to hold me accountable and who can relate to what I'm going through. Basically, someone who is in the same mindset as myself - needs AND WANTS to lose weight. Someone with roughly the same amount of weight I want to lose. I'm going to find that someone and together we will kick some fat bootay! Any volunteers?!?!

Well, it's getting late and I need my beauty rest. Tomorrow we talk about "the business of coaching". This should be cool!

Take care, poppits!
(a) yt xox

Monday's aren't so bad!

2009-06-15T19:57:00.000-07:00

Not when it's a gorgeous, sunny day and you're lucky enough to be doing something you love. That was my day today!

I started my course at Adler and met some interesting people and did some great work. I really feel good about this career choice, so I'm getting right into the course. It's easy as the content and the instructors are great. The other thing that's great about being on course, is the fact that I don't have access to alot of food! So, I had a good food day...

... which was offset by the really bad food day I had Saturday... oie!

Remember that I was heading to Windsor for my sister Kathy's 60th bday party? Well, I did. The dinner itself, although lots of food, was restrained and healthy. Thanx to sister Karen and niece Sandra for creating healthy choices! I did, however, fall down in a BIG way, by eating a gzillion pieces of my cousin Betty's baklava. I should mention that Betty makes THE BEST baklava I've ever tasted...and I'm not the only one who believes this, for the record. I'm not making excuses for myself, I'm just sayin' that I blew it with something that was worth blowing it for. 'nuf said...

I went for a walk with my cousin Sandra and friend Joanne tonight. We walked 7 KM and did it in about 45 minutes. We were bookin' it, I have to say. Sandra & I went for a walk a couple of weeks ago and tonight made me realize she took pity on me before. Tonight, she showed no mercy and kept us at a pace worthy of Lorry! Well done to Sandra, who managed to stay ahead of both Joanne & I. It was a good way to end a day of being stationary, and a weekend of indulgence!

Well, I'm off to bed. Goodness knows I need my beauty sleep! Up early for class...yeah!!!

BTW, stepping on the scale this morning showed me dropping 1.5 lbs. from last week. It's good, but I have a feeling the baklava bulge has not caught up to me yet...sigh...

G'night & sweet dreams, poppits!
(a) yt xox

what happened to the week?!?

2009-06-13T06:36:00.000-07:00

Wow! I can't believe it's been almost a week since I last typed...where did it go?!?

Well, I've had a few adventures this week, including throwing my back out Monday...again! And get this. I threw it out simply by turning over in my bed...not very exciting! So, off I go to LPS Tuesday where The Evil One exchanges my workout with a session of muscle release therapy. Sounds very technical, but basically, he digs his thumbs into various muscles and stretches my body parts. The muscles "pop" just like when you're getting a massage. The only difference is you're in so much pain that you really can't enjoy the process.

Poor Werner...seriously. We reached a new level of intimacy this week. First of all, I was sweating so badly that he had to use my t-shirt to give him traction on my skin for stretching me. I ended up with "shirt burn" on my shoulder and had this big ass red mark for a couple of days. Then he went to working on my back muscles...which were somehow attached to my left butt cheek. So, imagine if you will, me laid out on my right side...Evil One standing behind me with his thumb pressed HARD (like he's diggin' to China) against my almost bare left bum cheek. Clearly, he had WAY too much information about me at that point. It was quite a stressful time for me. I was stressed over the amount of sweating I was doing (like I always am) ... over Evil One having to grip said sweaty skin ... over the excruciating pain ... over evil trainer seeing and touching my partially naked bum cheek ... over whether or not someone else was going to walk back just in time to see the scene where Werner, thumb on my partially exposed bum, is bending my leg toward my head as I'm grunting, breathing and laughing. Thankfully, no one else had to endure the scene, but can you imagine walking into that vision?!? Yikes! Years of therapy wouldn't be able to wipe that from memory.

After all the stress, my back and neck felt ALOT better. When Evil One asked me how I felt, I replied "Strangely, like I need a cigarette." Fortunately, he saw the humour and laughed.

The rest of the week was filled with lots of lunches, dinners and coffees to catch up with good friends. Except for some minor binging with Mary Thursday night, eating was well in control. I've decided to lighten up about "cheating" and to figure out what I'm going to be able to sustain. I settled on the Caveman Diet, adding fruit (limited to 2/day) and goat milk stuff (limited to 1/day) into the mix. I'm hoping that will be better than tight restriction and a cheat day.

Well, I'm off to Windsor to celebrate the surprise 60th birthday of my sister, Kathy. We think she knows about it. It's not very easy to keep things a surprise in this family.

Shout out to Kim Baker. She's one of the trainers Evil One told us about. I met her at a Landmark event Tuesday night. I didn't realize she was reading my blog. It freaked me out initially, not sure why, but I'm over it...welcome Kim!!

OK poppits. Off for my long drive...oie!!
TTFN!
(a) yt xox

It's payback time!

2009-06-08T14:38:00.000-07:00

Well, I survived another cheat day yesterday, although "survived" is hardly the correct word. More like, "embraced" another cheat day and am "surviving" the aftermath of it...if ya know what I mean. Yes, THAT'S back in my life...all day...stomach grumbling like a volcano ready to erupt...then the volcanic eruptions, if ya know what I mean.

I know, I know...eeeyyyyuuu..but I give you this description more to teach a lesson than to gross you out. Grossing you out is just a side benefit...tee hee....

So, no doubt you're wondering what I actually had for my cheat day. Here goes...
- started with an omelette in which goat cheese mozzarella was present
- for my drink, TWO Tassimo, French Vanilla lattes...'cuz one just wouldn't be enough...

Then I headed to Burlington for my niece, Keri's, baby shower where I indulged in....
- Karen's potato salad (well worth the indulgence!!)
- a giant, all beef hot dog PLUS a hamburger (no buns, though, celebrate that success!)
- more goat cheese mozzarella since it was in a salad I made
- a BIG piece of key lime pie...made with love, by my niece Lisa.

I got home around 5:30 feeling so full I could barely move. Fortunately, I didn't eat anything for the rest of the day, so all caloric intake was completed by about 3:30. Not that that really means anything because, even if I wanted to shove something into my pie hole, I'm sure my gag reflex would've reacted violently. That's how bad it was. Now I understand why gluttony is one of the deadly sins.

And today I'm paying for it...

OK, so I really need to find a happy medium here...I know you've all heard that before but seriously...it's gotta work out. Tomorrow I meet with The Evil One and I'm gonna talk to him about an alternative plan. I can't binge, and yet I don't want to have to sacrifice all the time...sigh...

Don't 'cha love how I'm changin' my tune now?!? Whatever happened to...

"really, what's the big deal? It's just food" and
"I'm not really sacrificing that much" ... and
"It will be worth the effort"..

I'm a filthy liar, that's what happened!!!

OK, so perhaps I'm getting a tad carried away. I think it's the sugar crash I've been experiencing all day. BTW, is it normal for your toes to twitch after consuming large volumes of sugar?!? Enough drama....you're welcome!

So, I got a wonderful email from my friend, Tammy. If you recall, Tammy is one of the FAB women I met when I was in Cuba. Tammy, apparently, reads my blog (thanx Tammy!) and is on her own personal weight loss journey as well. She's lost ALOT of weight to date, and is feeling "stalled" like myself. I think it's natural for us to feel these psychological road blocks to achieving our goals, especially because we've been working at it for so long. The question is...for how long do we wait before we can get refocused?!? and what do we need to do to get our mojo back?

I know it's different for everyone, but man! I'm not feeling very patient right now. So, what do I have to do to try and pull myself back on track? I guess I can start by looking at the positive stuff that is surrounding me. For example....

- I saw my sister, Kathy, yesterday who has lost 60 lbs. ... AMAZING work. She still eats everything and doesn't exercise, her secret is portion control.
- My sister, Karen, is back on track going to her swimming classes again. Her energy level is up again.
- My brother John, is down more than 20 lbs. and only 16 lbs. from his goal weight.
- even with lots of change and chaos in her life, Tammy managed to email me with some amazing words of encouragement - how selfless is that!

I spoke to my brother John last night and I am really looking forward to my trip to Phoenix at the end of the month. He's organizing some hikes for us and will be getting me a pass to his gym, so I can work out. Heck! He even offered to take me into the gym with him when he goes at 5:00 in the morning - isn't he thoughtful?!? I love that he's really focused and disciplined on eating better. I know that will motivate me to eat well when I'm out there, too.

People, we all go through struggles, don't we? I guess the key, for me, is to remember I don't have to go through them alone...

Feeling slightly better because I'm ignorning Mt. Vesuvius in my belly....
(a) yt xox

True confessions of a chubaholic....

2009-06-06T08:04:00.001-07:00

It's time for me to fess up. I stepped on the scale this morning and weighed 4.5 lbs more than I did when I weighed myself Monday....OMG!! "What the HELL happened?!?", I asked myself while looking in the mirror.

Now, here's the dilemma....do I actually acknowledge what I've done wrong or play dumb? I'm coming clean to the few of you who actually read this blog. Following are the WRONG things I've been doing...

- eating outside my 9 hour window....instead of waiting until my usual 10:30 or 11:30 (heck, I can't even remember when my original window started!), I've been eating earlier in the day and later in the evening.

- eating the wrong foods...like my Tassimo lattes in the morning...a little taste of peanut butter...honey coated cashews...

- eating heavy dinners late at night....well, later than I should be. Instead of eating a salad with protein for dinner, I've been eating lots of meat and little veggies. As a matter of fact, my whole veggie intake has decreased significantly.

I guess this is what happens when you lose sight. In thinking about the reasons why the decline, I think it's because of the emotional roller coaster I've been riding lately. You all remember the two weeks of physical "issues" and how I didn't feel like going out. Well, combine that with my "just waiting" mode to get my coaching off the ground and you've got a big, fat emotional me. Plus, not seeing Bill anymore has hit me harder than I allowed myself to admit.

I'm sure you're all asking the question..."So, yt, waddaya gonna do about it?!?"

OK, let's follow my own lofty suggestion and pick simple, goals to get me back on track....
1) back to my 9 hour window
2) eat more veggies
3) stick to the modified Caveman Diet

I'm still going to have my "cheat day", but what I will have as a treat is...Karen's FAB potato salad and my Goat cheese yogurt. That's it for the cheating. Then it's back on track.

OK people...thanx for listening and reading. I appreciate your support and need it now more than ever. Wish me luck!!!
(a) yt xox

Oh my achin' EVERYTHING!!

2009-06-04T12:52:00.001-07:00

Hi everyone!
Typin' at 'cha LIVE from Laylor Performance Systems where men are grunters and women sweat like piggies....or at least THIS woman. I have now discovered muscles I didn't know existed before. How do I know the exist? Because they hurt like you wouldn't believe...oie!! For those of you not into my whining, just page down...for those who can tolerate it, thank you. The following parts of my body have some type of ache - big or small:
- my bum (quelle suprise!)
- my legs (top, bottom, middle...you name it)
- my feet (bottom, ankles, the tops that are all veiny and gross)
- my fingers & hands & wrists
- my arms & shoulders
- my earlobes (I think my earrings are too heavy)
- my forehead ... yes, even my forehead friggin' hurts!

Needless to say, the last 2 workouts I had were quite effective. Yesterday was a guided workout with The Evil One, which is probably why my fingernails even hurt. Today, I was back for more self-inflicted torture pulling the sled. All I can say is "thank God" I'm done at LPS for the week.

OK...whining completed....

So, I've been back in the "networking" game and having a good time with old acquaintances. I met a few people from my last job at CIBC, so it was good to catch up on all the dirt. While I'm all about moving on, I can certainly appreciate the value of a good gossip fest! It seems things have not changed at all with management or the organization. Again, I'm reminded of how lucky I am to have moved on.

Eating has been pretty good, although I'm still struggling with my sugar cravings. It seems to be all about ice cream and cake for my cravings these days. Which doesn't bode well when I'm waiting for the GO Train at Union Station where there is a Dairy Queen that advertises ice cream cakes...and these really yummy looking ice cream waffle sundaes...not to mention my all-time favourite Peanut Buster Parfait...oh, and the Buster Bar...sigh...do you FEEL for me, people?!? On a positive note, I do not have urges to do violent things to people eating DQ treats. I do, however, need to control the Pavlovian drooling that the pictures seem to incite in me. Hmmm...maybe I should stand in front of Laura Secords instead....NOT!!!

Well, it's time to get up and get the blood circulating again. It's good to know it can still circulate through all the pain....

Until next blog...good eating and good laughs!
(a) yt xox

Chillax, sister!!

2009-06-03T05:33:00.000-07:00

Happy Hump Day all y'all!
Greetings from a sunny & warm Mississauga. It's nice to see the sunshine again. Although, as a typical Canadian, I'm sure I'll find something about the weather to complain! Isn't that our way?

I did not venture into the city yesterday. Instead, I met my friend Darren for lunch, did a little errand running/shopping then met my friend Michele for dinner. It was a good day.

I had really good conversations with both folks. Although both quite different, each were equally intense. With Darren, we talked about his business and the stresses he has in setting himself up for more success. With Michele, it was a discussion about how our limited beliefs hold us back. At the end of the day (and as I write now), I'm thinking ... "Lighten up, sister!" Sheesh! I was so impassioned with both of them. Poor folks! With Darren, I thought he was going to push me off my chair at one point! Michele, thankfully, was far more together about it. I didn't get a sense she wanted to push me off my chair, but I did see a few furrowed brows throughout the discussion. Anyway, I have no idea why I was so freaked, but I do know I need to follow my physical lead and lighten up!!

I'm back to feeling frustrated with how slow things seem to be moving for me, on the career front. I guess I need to give my head a shake and continue to trust my "leap of faith". For those of you who don't know, my leap of faith happens when I jump off an imaginary cliff giving up control of my life. I don't know where or when I'll reach the bottom, but I know I'll get there safely. This "giving up control" seems to be the only time in my life when things work out well for me. Well, sometimes, on my way down to the ground, I bump myself up against the rocks...that's when I try to take control back. Soooooo, it would appear I'm bumping up against some rocks now. I guess I just need to LET IT GO and trust it will work out....work, the weight, everything!

OK, off my soap box and no, not off my rocker (for those of you thinking it!). Hopefully you understand my metaphor. If not, call or email me and I'll be happy to let you buy me lunch to discuss...tee hee....!!

I'm off to the city this morning, meeting Thom for lunch then a workout with The Evil One. Nothing like a workout with an evil-bastard-trainer to help relinquish control of your life!

Thanx for listening!!
(a) yt xox

If only I could turn my neck...

2009-06-01T16:12:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone - Happy Monday!
Well, today started with a big headache (actually, the headache started last night and carried through until this morning). I missed AFOOFA unfortunately, since I needed to get some sleep. I woke up about 10:30 feeling much better, then headed into the city for a workout with the sled. A good workout but I'm really feeling alot of pain and tension in my shoulders and neck. Where's the massage therapist when you need him now?!?

The weekend was busy, hanging out with Dianne & Lorry for a sister's weekend! Dianne had us over for a nice bday dinner Saturday night (she cooked a TON of veggies!). Then we went to Elora on Sunday and man! was it cold! Although it was sunny, there was a bitter wind that kept us very cold. It didn't help that Dianne and I wore open-toed sandals. There's a way to never get warm! Also, there was no electricity in the city! The whole city (or is it a village) and a bit of the surrounding area lost power around 1:30-ish. It was pretty weird. Of course, that didn't stop us from buying our jewels and having lunch!

It was kinda quiet when I was working out. There was just Roland, another guy I see all the time. He's a quiet guy, but says things that are a bit ... um ... off ... sometimes! Anyway, when I saw Roland Friday, he asked me to guess how old he was. I really wanted to guess 65, but I was feeling kind and said "61". Roland said .. "61...hmmm..." When I asked him how old he was he said "57"...DOH!!! I felt so badly! Anyway, I realized there were no hard feelings when I saw him today and he was quite witty and friendly, and he didn't pick up a 30 lb. barbell and smack me upside the head. That's always a good sign.

I realized at Dianne's I have another "Cheat day" coming up. It happens to occur the same day as niece Keri's baby shower. I'm excited as I will be able to have my sister, Karen's FAMOUS & AWESOME potato salad. I'm really looking forward to that! I also bought some goat's milk yogurt & granola again, in anticipation of Sunday. Should be good!!

BTW, in weighing myself today I'm down another 3 lbs., so that leaves me with 18 lbs to lose before the end of July. I've got the name of a gym that trains in the same technique as LPS in Scottsdale, so I'm gonna see about working out when I'm there. That should keep me on track and focused.

Here's me signing off ... with visions of potato salad, yogurt & granola dancing in my head!!

Take care!
(a) yt xox

Post-workout pain disorder

2009-05-29T05:52:00.000-07:00

That's what I'm suffering from today. Admittedly, it's not as bad as I've had it in the past...and different parts of my body hurt, but I'm still in pain none-the-less. Yesterday's workout with The Evil One was pretty tough. Now, here's the scary part. For me, I felt a combination of fear, pain &, are you sitting down, exhilaration. There, I said it. I think I'm getting the "high" people get whenever they work out really hard. I remember my friends, Karen & Krista, talking about it - like there was nothing better in this world than to get their assess kicked by a personal trainer. I remember thinking they had been abducted by aliens and were under some kind of mind control thing. But alas! I know now about what they spoke!!

I started with my usual 10 minutes on the bike. I was huffing, but the bike & I have had worse battles. Then I did my warm ups - the leg press (been there, done that), the pull down (again, no biggie). THEN, we went to this contraption that I'd seen other people on...I stand on it, face down. The padding hits my thighs, knees below the padding and then...nothing! I cross my arms, bend in half and raise my body up to full length. Can you get the picture? If not, allow me...

Me, boobs exposed at the front because the top is too big and stuck under my body... my torso flying through the air, arms crossed across my chest... stray curls flapping in the wind as I swing up and down... breathing like I'm in labour... and grunting (yes, GRUNTING!) like a caveman trying to woo his woman.

And I wonder why I'm still single?!? OK, so I'm swinging on this thing, and I can feel the muscles in my legs, bum & stomach just GRINDING. It always looked so much easier when the other guys do it. Heck! They carry a weight in their arms while they're swinging, but oie! By the end of my 4 sets, I couldn't walk. For one brief moment, just after my 4th set, I understood what it was like to have a tight ass. Of course, mine was from a muscle spasm...

The last, new exercise I did was an actual bench bress...with a bar. No more of those girlie weights for me! According to evil-trainer-Werner, I "blew away" the free weights...uh, let's see, I was lifting 22.5 lbs. and they go as high as 100 lbs. "Blew away", yeah.....anyway, this is another thing I've watched the guys do. Except they have weights on the bar or, sometimes, big, ass chains on the bar. But, everyone has to start somewhere, so I was lifting the bar that weighed 45 lbs. Once again, I was reminded of my lack of coordination as I lifted the bar in such an awkward way...hitting the machine a few times, tilting off to the left...or the right...into Werner's knee... whatever! I must admit, though, that I really liked the challenge it brought.

Although completely spent after the workout, I felt pretty darn good about what I'd accomplished. I even tackled the fat grips and hung like a monkey for 7 seconds. Who knows? Maybe I'll really get into this thing workout thing...wearing my gansta hat like Clance or posing-at-random with my shirt off like Werner....ummmm....probably not...you're welcome!

Well, I'm off to meet DEAR friend, Aubrey for lunch, then downtown for a workout then out for an event at the Royal Ontario Museum (ROM) with Emmanuel. Am I a lucky woman or what?!?

TGIF, baby!!!
(a) yt xox

Is it just me....

2009-05-28T07:46:00.000-07:00

...or is everyone feeling a bit under the weather? My friend, Emmanuel (aka Motivator Man) blames it on Mercury Retrograde. I don't know if it's that or just "the blahs", but I have to tell you it's been a real challenge for me to focus on ANYTHING these past few weeks. Oh sure, I've had uplifting moments - birthday celebrations with family & friends keep me in a happy place - but it's been a real struggle for me. Whatever the reason, it's time I got back to where I was at - The Ambassador of Positivity!

OK, in order to return to my old self, I've decided this blog will be dedicated to the Happy Dance Moments I've experienced recently. Here are some of the highlights:

- Monday morning AFOOFA coffee with the gang. We missed Emmanuel and Andres, but it was good to reconnect after a week off. Sylvie & I started talking about the creative side of my brand identity (i.e. logo & colours). It started me thinking about how I want to present myself. I've decided I am ... "funky professional"...does that sound right to people?!?

- Monday afternoon I met with April Poppe, organizer extraordinaire. Although my condo is still a mess (well, worse actually as all the mess that was in the spare bedroom has now been moved to my living room), I have an action plan on how to organize the spare-bedroom-from-hell into a great living space. Yeah!!

- Tuesday afternoon workout - Hey! I did it! I schlepped that (insert expletive here) sandbag across the gym floor to the dulcet tones of the Evil One's "bum down, Yvonne". My back was glad for the reminders, although I did feel a tich uncomfortable with having my bum watched so closely. If only it were a nicer bum...

- Wednesday...not such a good day mentally, but I did manage to put the majority of my DVDs into a binder. What took up 3 shelves on a book case has now been condensed to two binders. Gotta love that! Now I just have to get rid of the plastic cases that are cluttering my home..sigh...

- This morning - a FABULOUS conversation with Motivator Man. I feel all energized and ready to go again! He, too, is helping me with my brand identity. Emmanuel and I were talking about how it wasn't "chance" that caused our meeting. We are both benefitting from knowing each other. I love it when that happens!

I've decided this whole, "working from home", is not workin' for me. I'm an extravert and need to suck the energy from others. So, I'm gonna start going into the gym every day and hanging out there. If I can help out, great. If not, I'll do my own work. It will give me a place to hang with people and keep me focused on my journey to good health.

The journey, as mentioned, has not been going so well. I have to keep reminding myself of the 22 lbs by the end of July goal and stay focused. In order to meet that goal, I've gotta step it up now. Hanging out at the gym will be a good thing for me.

Oh yeah, my cravings for sugar are back. I wonder why....hmmmm...could it be because, on my "cheat day", I snarfed a SLAB of chocolate fudge cake in 2 seconds and then ate everything-with-sugar-that-wasn't-nailed-down?!? It's all about the lessons learned....

I'm hoping all y'all are in a better space than I have been. I also hope that this funk is truly related to Mercury Retrograde since I understand that it's supposed to end on the 31st. Count down to a better head space!!

Cheers dudes & babes!
(a) yt xox

Decadence...is it really worth it?!?

2009-05-26T06:24:00.000-07:00

That's how I'm feeling about my "cheat day"...oie! I had an AMAZING birthday weekend, starting with a free lunch with Heather & a free dinner with Joanne Friday. Followed by a great bday celebration with lots of good friends, hosted by Lorry. Then came Sunday in Niagara on the Lake (NOTL) with Lorry and a glorious cheat day! Lemme tell you what I ate...

I moved my 9 hour window ahead to a 10:30 start, simply because I couldn't wait to dig into the SLAB of chocolate fudge cake from my bday celebration. It was worth the wait, as it was quite yummy. However, I knew the day was going to be a challenge, when I ate the ENTIRE slab of cake in one sitting...in one gulp, almost! Remember I said I was gonna "exercise control"...who was I trying to kid? This was ME, after all...the person who ate Turtles ice cream even when her mouth was frozen and couldn't taste it anymore. This, then, is the person who will exercise self-control on a cheat day?!? Lemme just say....it's all good learning....

So, you know about the ton 'o' fudge cake I had for breakfast. After that, I went to Lorry who, thankfully, was the driver to NOTL. I simply couldn't focus on anything as my head and body were reacting to my sugar overload. By the time we reached NOTL, I was crashing down so we walked the main drag for a bit, then headed to The Angel Inn, our favourite stomping ground for lunch. There I had French onion soup and a small, Greek salad with chicken. I thought that was a good combination of should and shouldn't...ya know...protein & veggies (should) with cheese (shouldn't). So far, I'm ok...I'm thinkin'...then we hit all the stores again. While I resisted the fudge, I did indulge in sampling many gourmet tapinades and jellies and sauces and peanut butters (yes, gourmet peanut butters, like dark chocolate PB and chocolate banana PB and, my favourite, chocolate chunk PB). All of these samples were on itty bitty pieces of bread...more freakin' carbs! Oh, and did I mention our adventure to Pickards where Lorry picked up chocolate covered sponge taffy (I ate 2 pieces) and I hoovered as many garlic & onion flavoured peanut chipits that I could in the 5 minutes we were there?!? Getting the picture people? This is yt's version of "self control"...scary isn't it?!?

By the time I made it home, I was on carb overload and into disaster recovery mode. So, I drank LOTS of water for the rest of the evening....worked out on the treadmill (hill program, level 12, speed of 3 - my personal best to date) and did weights. Then, when I finished the workout, I ate my yogurt & berries. I did manage to stay within my 9 hour window, but sheesh! What a crazy 9 hours it was!

So, poppits...I'm all about the lessons learned. Here they are:
- when I say "I can practice self-control", I'm a liar, liar pants on fire! Oh, someday I will get there, but not in the near future
- the post-cheat day headache and lethargic behaviour simply wasn't worth the carbs overload
- I need to (and will) find the right balance so that I enjoy the freedom without killing myself in the process! Perhaps my "cheating" will come in the form of a new outfit or something material that doesn't get shoved into my mouth. I will figure this out. I am, however, open to suggestions/ideas. Anyone?!?

In the meantime, I still have 20 lbs to go to meet my next goal, so I want to hunker down and get back on it. I really do feel better when I eat properly. I just have to keep reminding myself of that!

Today I'm off to TO for a workout with the Evil One. I'm kinda looking forward to the torture, but don't tell HIM that!

Have a great day, boyz & girlz!
(a) yt xox

Human Nature...what's up with that?!?

2009-05-23T09:24:00.000-07:00

It's been a few good days. I'm starting to feel really motivated again about my journey. However, this re-motivation comes after some despair and lack of enthusiasm...as you know! It seems I am not the only one feeling this way. I spoke about Kelly and her recent struggles in my last blog.
Enter new victim...my friend, Heather. For those of you who don't remember, Heather is the one who climbed Mt. Kilimanjaro last year and is organizing the Inca Trail for May 2010. She kicked butt in preparation for climbing Kili, losing alot of weight and working out like crazy! She was quite proud of her achievement and there were several of us who were equally proud of that.

I met Heather for lunch yesterday and, it seems she's suffering from the same downward spiral of self-loathing that Kelly and I are facing. I told her about my conversation with Kelly and how we each set one-week "refocus" goals. This seemed to work for Heather, who self-diagnosed that she needed to increase her level of activity to get her mojo back. So, here's her goal:

- Heather is committed to walking one way to work each day for one week; that is she will walk 5 days/week at least one way to work.

This is a great goal for Heather because, when she was prepping for Kili, she walked both ways. So, one way is totally doable and enough to getting her feeling she's accomplishing something. I'm sure I speak for all of us when I say.."Go Heather, Go!!!"

My conversations with Kelly & Heather got me thinking about how many of us would rather focus on the things we have still to achieve vs. what we've already accomplished. Guilty as charged, by the way. I was verbally "chastised" by Evil One at my workout Thursday as he kept pointing out how far I'd come in my strength training and how much weight I'd lost. He was clearly getting frustrated with my lack of enthusiasm. My "brick wall moment", however, came at the end of my workout. Here's what happened...

Usually I stretch my back by holding myself on bars, forcing me to carry my entire weight while hanging from said bars. I'm sure there's a more technical term for the stretch, but you'll have to visualize me with my feet up, hanging like a monkey from two bars. This contraption from which I hang, has two sets of bars - thinner bars with rubber grips and thick bars with no grips. Mostly the guys use these bars to do lift themselves, often with a belt around their waist that enables a big 'ole weight to dangle between their legs while doing their chin ups or pull ups or whatever. I'm sure there's something Freudian about that...but I digress. Me? I use the bars to just hang out and stretch - nothing between my legs, for the record. Now, I'd done the stretch before using the thinner, rubber bars, but have never been able to do it on the thicker bars. It's challenging because I can barely get my hands around the thick bars, and without the rubber they're very slippery, especially if your palms are sweaty...and mine are AWAYS sweaty! Also, truth be told, I'm scared shitless of falling onto Werner in an embarass-myself-by-flattening-him-to-the-ground-squishing-the-breath-out-of-him way, instead of a falling into-his-open-arms-where-he-giggless-and-gently-places-me-on-the-ground way. So, although I'm not carrying a dangling weight between my legs, I AM carrying alot of emotional baggage as I approach the adventure of hanging from the thick bars. Can you see why success has eluded me so far?!?

Well, Thursday, after listen to Evil One remind me of how far I'd come, I decided to check my emotional baggage at the door and just hang myself from the thick bars...just friggin' do it, know what I mean?!? I did have a moment of temptation when Werner said "Have you tried the thick bars yet?"...do I take advantage of this momentary lapse in his memory or try out my newfound courage?!? Well, I went for it and dang it if I didn't hang from those thick bars...TWICE! The "brick wall moment" came when I realized the only thing preventing me from doing this, besides my overactive, melodramatic imagination, was my own fears. I know, it's kind of basic, but at the end of the day, isn't that really the barriers to any of our successes?!?

BTW, I did not fall on Werner squishing the breath out of him. On the contrary, I shocked the hell out of him when I, without hesitation, grabbed those big ass bars and dangled! My reward? I got a "Very good, Yvonne! I'm so proud of you" from The Evil One... icing on the cake, baby!

Well, it's time for me to sign off. This is my birthday weekend, so I will be spending tonight in the company of good friends celebrating the glorious weather...and me!

Speaking of "celebrations", shout out to Joanne who has hit the 50 lbs mark...right on! She was simply GLOWING with pride when she was telling me of her success. Now THAT'S what I'm talkin' about!

Cheers, poppits!
(a)yt xox