If you're a Monty Python fan, you're now whistling the rest of the little ditty that comes at the end of The Life of Brian...what a fun movie that is!
Once again, I have fallen behind in my commitment to blog twice/week. To be truthful, I just couldn't bring myself around to doing it. I haven't been in the best head-space last week, so I felt I would not be able to be the Ambassador of Positivity I've tried to be. But then I thought, "So what's the big deal?!?" After all, not everyone can be positive all the time, right? I know people count on me for their positive fix - heck! I count on myself - but on the rare occasion, it's just too damn hard for me to feel the positivity! That's what I was experiencing last week. It affected many aspects of my life:
- I felt doubt & worry about my Leap of Faith and whether or not this career path was going to work out for me.
- my eating habits...I actually ate those dreaded grains, poppits!
- how much I exercised...still more than the week before, but not as much as I would've liked to have exercised
- and, once again, my condo was a disaster!
I felt at my lowest Sunday afternoon and evening, which is when I inhaled ALOT of bad food. So, I decided that I would do something I hadn't done in a long time. I decided I could allow myself to wallow in self-pity for the duration of Sunday. I used to do this ... feel sorry for myself for 24 hours then move on! It worked and I could see a change. I'm not 100% back to my normal self, but I feel better every time I speak with someone I haven't seen in a while. I love to speak of my journey and remind myself of all the great "irons in the fire" I have going on.
I've got lots to be grateful for...Good things like....
- I am back on track for my eating and exercising. BTW, I've done another two hikes since my last blog. One was on my own and, after 2 1/2 hours, I realized I was lost in the forest! Fortunately, Josephine & Jackie (mom & daughter angels!) took pity on me and drove me to my car...oie!
- I'm down 62 lbs so far and more than 1/2 way to my optimal weight! That deserves a big !!!!!!!!!!!!! WAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- The Christmas holidays are just around the corner and I'm BEYOND the valley of excited about them! BTW, the condo is now presentable and ready for Christmas decorations!
On the eating side, it's been a real struggle for me. It seems I'm craving things like mad. I almost French-kissed a guy because he was eating beef and I could smell it on his breath. This is what I've become.
We recently had a meeting of ACPI, this association I belong to. It was held at a Golden Griddle restaurant. Do you think I could get the image of pancakes out of my head?!? NO! We're talking WEEKS of pancake cravings! The good news is I ate a Greek salad when I was there (sans feta cheese). However, it came with a piece of garlic toast. Before I even realized what I was doing, half of the toast was in my mouth! I couldn't believe it! THEN, one of the guys at my table ordered a piece of banana cream pie. Now, banana cream pie isn't even one of my pies of choice, but I had a visual flash in my head where I saw myself leaping across the table, grabbing the pie and shoving it ALL into my mouth. Oh great. Now I have a craving for pie..sigh...
Well, undaunted I press on in the vain pursuit of looking good naked. I hope all of you are feeling good about yourselves and feeling positive. If not, call me!!
Until Sunday, peace and positivity my brothers & sisters!!
(a) yt xox
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Thank you for having the courage to share your journey with us. I think we're so focussed on trying to be positive that we forget that feeling badly is actually normal. Like you said, sometimes it's okay for us to feel sorry for ourselves for a short time, get over it and then move on.
ReplyDeleteAs for your feelings regarding your "leap of faith", normal as well. That's why it's called a "leap of faith". We don't know what's on the other side. Remember that it takes 3-5 years to develop a sustainable practice. You, my friend, have a good foundation to build from. There is no doubt in my mind that you will be successful.
I just want you to know, that the honestly in your blog has given me the courage to begin blogging (probably in the New Year). Thank you for that.
I look forward to your next entry.
Panagiota