No, I really mean it this time. I had a HORRIBLE food craving day, which we all know is not unusual. What IS unusual is the ensuing behaviour from said cravings. Instead of avoiding places that inspire the cravings...um... like EVERYWHERE, I went head long into the dens of evil. It was like I cut myself a 1000 times, everywhere on my body, then started to wade into a big pool of lemon juice....
First, I go into the pool up to my knees....that's when I walked through Loblaws yesterday...past the PC chocolate bars with yummy things inside like coconut or almonds or toffee or caramel or all of the above...right up to the freezer filled to the brim with Candy Cane fudge crackle ice cream, which BTW is my absolute favourite ice cream of the season....can you feel the burn of the lemon juice with me??
And the burn from the lemon juice stops...and it's a new day...
Then I decide to continue my journey into the lemon juice, up to my hips...which would be when I took a tour of the Laura Secord at Union Station and saw (are you ready for this?!?) chocolate filled candy canes! How heavenly is that?!? Why, that is better than Candy Cane ice cream because I could eat an entire bag of 15 chocolate filled candy canes and NEVER freeze my mouth!! BTW, remember "The Rationalizer"? Well, that voice was telling me that the chocolate filled candy canes would be a good source of energy for when I'm climbing the Inca Trail and that I should buy some now and stock up for the trip...which is in May...oie!
So, the burn of the lemon juice has now subsided and, my masochistic self decides to just submerge entirely...that would be when I'm waiting for my GO Train and sitting directly across from the Dairy Queen...oh yeah...I'm staring at posters of the three DQ waffle sundaes...and the poster of the Peanut Buster Parfait (my favourite)...and watching all the happy people as they eat their ice cream cones and waffle sundaes and blizzards...I just sat there, watching ... craving ... feeling the burn of the lemon juice.
I'm not exactly sure why, but I felt really compelled to write about this. I'm quite proud of myself for not acting on the cravings, but I am very worried about how they keep rearing their ugly heads. I need to find a way to shut down the masochist so I stop putting myself into situations that tempt me. This continues to be my challenge.
So, once again, I need to reinforce the good. For example and keep focused on how far I've come. Can I just say how happy I will be when I no loner have to worry about worrying about this stuff?!?
Well, time to go to sleep. I'm very glad I got that off my chest. Here's me movin' on....
Have a great weekend, poppits!
(a) yt xox
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