"enough is enough!"

That's what I told myself this morning about the blog avoidance problem I've been experiencing. First it was related to a "funk" I was going through, now it's just plain laziness!

But, here I am....

Hallooooooooooooooooo!!!!

I'm on my couch, listenin' to the Disco Brunch on boom 97.3...nothin' like Donna Summer to bring up the spirits! Sing it, sister!!!

So, what's been shakin' for the past two weeks....well....

- down more weight bringing my total loss to 70 lbs. It's nice to be able to say that. It's a good, round number! I am only 35 lbs. from my Inca Trail goal...YOWZA!! What a great feeling it is to be so close! That's only 4 lbs/week, which is totally doable.

- exercise program is back on track for 3x/week at the gym. We've bumped it up a notch, given The Evil One's commitment to "ride my ass" until I reach my goal. He's quite effective at that, btw. When I work out on my own, I climb stairs carrying weights. I'm up to 500 stairs, with an end goal of 2,000. I'm told that's equivalent to climbing the CN Tower. Yes, I AM nuts!

- I've been hiking every week with The Inca Chicks. What a great group of women! I'm really enjoying getting to know everyone. And talk about "fit"...these women kick my booty when it comes to these hikes. I can barely keep my heart from pounding out of my throat, while most of these women (who are ALL older than me, btw) barely work up a sweat! On the one hand, it's embarrassing. On the flip side, it's really motivating me to keep going. They're all so supportive. It's really great.

- I've had some ups and downs on the "trying to make money" thing...more downs than ups, but I'm not giving up. I've got some great networking meetings coming up, for which I am most appreciative. I know things are going to work out and that, wherever I land, it's gonna rock my world! Sometimes, though, I need a gentle reminding of that....feel free to nudge me along anytime!

All in all, I'm back to being me, which makes me feel pretty good. I'm really trying to stay focused on my commitment to viewing things as a possibility vs. a limitation. I've had some successes in this area, for example...

- when my next food adventure was presented by The Evil One (a 9 day cleanse which reflects 7 days of shakes only & 2 days of "near fasting"), my first reaction was "Hmmmm, better not make any plans with friends I want to keep." That's improvement, right? I actually didn't put up resistance and said to Werner "Bring it on!" But I know myself well enough to know that I'll be in Crankyland for those 9 days and avoiding humankind is really the best thing for everyone. I'll let you know when the cleanse begins so you know to stay away...you're welcome!

- When I was presented with the physical challenge of doing 2,000 stairs, instead of smacking The Evil One upside the head with the 15 lb. weight I was carrying, I smiled at him and walked away. OK, so I was cursing him in my mind, BUT I DIDN'T THROW THE WEIGHT AT HIM! On the contrary, I challenged myself to do two more reps on the stairs, increasing from 300 to 500 steps that day. BOO-YA, BABY!!

So you see, things are improving for me. Although I don't LOVE the idea of them, I no longer dread the Sunday morning hikes in the cold, even when it's -8 like it was today. Instead of calling in sick, I get my bum out of bed and throw on my 20 layers of clothing, waddling to the car with the anticipation of staying warm as I sweat my ass off from keeping pace with the rest of The Inca Chicks.

I had a bit of a setback at last week's hike, I must now confess to poppits! This is an example of where I saw the limitations first. As a matter of fact, I saw absolutely NO possibilities whatsoever!

Picture me this...

I'm driving with Marta & Dawn to our hike at Rattlesnake Point (in Burlington). We pull up to a dead end road and park. As all the other hikers arrive, Marta says, "The entrance is over here. We just have to hop the fence to get in."...just like that, real casual. Of course, I start to get eye twitches and ask "Are you serious? We have to hop a fence?!?" I'm sure I was borderline hysterical because my voice sounded like I was 6 years old...or drunk.

Marta proceeds to hop over the fence, demonstrating to all "how easy" it is to get over the fence..."put your left foot here (on top of a steel bar), grab here (a big ass log), lift your right leg over (another, higher steel bar), put it here (in the same, tiny space where your left foot is), then push off and jump down (without falling on your face)."

Admittedly, she did make it look easy, but I wasn't fooled, knowing that Marta is about 100 ft. tall and in FAB shape. Following closely and easily behind her was Dawn, also 100 ft. tall and in good shape, who whipped over with no problem. Then came Ellen Mary, who is short and in her 60s'. She had a little trouble getting up, but she did it. So I thought "Hmmmm, maybe it isn't so bad"....seeing possibilities (but forgetting that Ellen Mary was one of the Mt. Kili hikers), I take my turn....

- Lift left foot onto bar...ok...
- lift bum up to grab big ass log...nope...step back down, giggle in embarassment
- try again to lift bum, grasping desperately at the log...feel mysterious hands on my bum...up I go!
- lift my right leg over second, higher steel bar...not quite...giggle and curse under my breath...
- Now I'm sweating and start to lift my leg again...feel mysterious hand on my boot helping to lift my right leg over the bar....
- try to put both feet into same spot on bar...not happening! Seriously, how can other people with their hiking boots fit both feet in the same spot?!?
- more sweating and cursing...then I just say "F@$K it" and with as little grace as you can imagine, I hop off the fence.

The good news is I landed without a face plant.

And poppits, that was just to BEGIN the hike...remember, I had to climb this damn fence to get out of the park. And, don't think I didn't think about spending the day in the park trying to find another way to get out.

Needless to say, by the time we had to climb out of the park, I was more tired from the hike and not looking forward to hoisting my exhausted butt over that hellacious fence! At that point, I was all about limitations, imagining that big, hairy steel arms would come out as I tried to lift myself up and push me down...or throw me over forcing me to land with a "splatt" on the ground. But fortunately my Inca Chick peeps were one step ahead of me...no need to push my bum up as Marta and Dawn pulled me up from the front and two women grabbed my leg over. It was much easier the second time. Still, embarrassing...

I told Werner of my embarrassment and he said "We can fix that"...uh-oh...so, the next workout with him I did step ups...120 of them, carrying a 9lb. weight for the last 40 reps...oie! All good, right?!?

These past two weeks have been a real testament to my faith...that my "Leap of Faith" was the right thing to do. I would call what I was feeling, the equivalent of bashing up against the mountain from which I leapt. I'm still heading down to an amazing landing, but I was knocked into the side of the mountain by a few birds passing by. It was a bit painful, but short-lived. The thing for me to remember during these times is to seek out my friends. People who remind me that I am loved and worthy of living my life the way I want to live it.

I recently re-read the stream of conscious journalling I did during my Foundations course when I was writing about my passion. I read the line..."If I stick to my passion (of helping people), everything else is just noise." The "noise" I was referring to were things like worrying about making money, worrying about what the cynics would say, worrying about my inner critic, blah, blah, blah...it was great to be reminded of why I was put on this earth.

Tell me, what is your passion?!?

I promise to keep in touch more often.

Cheers! May your February be filled with warmth & comfort food - whatever that may be for you!!!
(a) yt xox

What a difference a day makes!

I can't believe it's already been a week since last I typed. Not because I'm incapable of taking a week to update the blog (!!) but because I can't believe a week has passed so quickly! A few tidbits to update you...

- I gained 9.5 lbs over the Christmas period, basically the month of December. I lost it and am now back to my total weight loss of 67 lbs. Yippee! I can't tell you how wonderful it was to step on the scale and see that number drop...slice of heaven!

- I started back with The Evil One and he is whipping my sorry ass into shape again. Last week, when I stepped on the scale and fessed up to the 9.5 lb. weight gain, he tried the "nice guy" approach to understand what emotions I'm having while I eat and what support do I need. It was a very nice approach and made me get a little teary, which freaked him out slightly - not my intention, but a nice side benefit! Why I got all teary, I don't know other than to recall the time in Phoenix when I felt out of control and my inner critic was riding high in my head. That wasn't fun to recall, which could be why I got all boo-hooey with Werner. Or maybe I was just feeling like I needed to cry...like, WHAT-ever!

- This week (yesterday), I stepped on the scale and showed the big loss. The Evil One decided to change his approach from Mr. Nice Guy to Mr. Hold-Me-Accountable Guy. He reminded me of my commitment to work out at least 3x at the gym and that I had failed in living up to that commitment last week..DOH!! I could tell he wasn't buying my excuses (well, they were pretty lame!) and he started to play a little hard ball with me. After much back and forth, he asked me the question...

... How hard am I willing to work for this last 40 lbs.?!?

YOWZA!! Well, that was a good question and it got me thinking about alot of stuff. I started to get this heavy feeling last night and carried it through as my day began today. Alot of CRAP surfaced...like...

... I am PETRIFIED of not making this goal...that my will power won't be be strong enough to overcome my cravings...that I won't be able to achieve and sustain the level of exercise I need to have in order to keep losing the weight...that my caloric intake will reduce so much that I'll be down to eating nothing but spinach and water!

I know I was melodramatic (again!), but that was what was going through my head last night. And it made me question EVERYTHING - the weight loss journey, whether or not coaching was the right choice, if I was ever going to see money come into my bank account again, would I actually be able to climb The Inca Trail...yada-yada! Quite frankly, last night was not the best night of my life!

THEN, I met Maggie for coffee this morning and things changed!! As you know, I always love my conversations with Maggie because she always has such different perspectives on things and she doesn't judge and she's caring and supportive and an overall great person! Anyway, in that conversation, I was able to articulate what I really wanted to do. She helped me define my nirvana corporate gig! That was really helpful to me and I left that conversation feeling optimistic and focused!

On to a GREAT coaching conversation with an amazing client who worked hard and was able to see what an incredibly resourceful, caring person she is. That conversation reminded me of everything I loved about being a coach!

Then, I dragged my sorry ass to the gym. It was a short, but intense self-directed workout and, at the end of it, I felt glad I did it...especially as I was walking to the GO Train, feeling the burn. Nothing says "success" like a sore ass!

And tonight? Yoga with Nadia. This was my second class with Nadia. It's a "fundamentals" course, which means she shows you the basics of the poses. Yeesh! I had no idea a body could be stretched in such a way! I'm really excited about the possibilities that yoga will bring to me. I can't wait until I can hold the poses for 1 minute..then 2 minutes! I will be so strong and limber...right on! In the meantime, not-so-much, really. I can barely hold the pose for the required 10 seconds and my toes cramp up because I'm stretching them in directions they don't want to go. It ain't pretty, but I'm not giving up! Nadia is a GREAT teacher and I can see the value of doing this. This will be something I will do for the rest of my life...toe cramping or not!

While I ran the gammit of emotions in less than 24 hours, I'm happy to say I'm back on track for seeing possibilities and being optimistic. Tomorrow I will work from home and I'm going to develop materials that will support me in growing my business. I'm really excited about what lies ahead and the ideas I have. It also helps to have people who know your business capabilities and remind you of them every once in a while - lucky me!

BTW, shameless plug time, I'm still looking to add to my coaching client base, so if you know of anyone...seriously...

OK, time for bed. I've got a big, productive day planned for tomorrow and I'm gonna need my sleep! Thanx to Maggie, SS, Aubrey & Nadia for their contributions to my FAB-YOU-LUSS day!!

G'night, poppits!
(a) yt xox

The "new me"

Happy New Year everyone!

Well, I made it home Monday with little trauma, other than the airline pulled the handle from my suitcase. That was a drag, but not the end of the world.

It seems like a long time since last I typed, so I thought I'd give you a quick update...
- the weather improved GREATLY for the last week of my stay. By the weekend, it was nothin' but sunshine and low 20s.
- John & I continued our daily exercise routine, toggling between morning walks and hiking. Once we completed "The Summit" there was no turning back for us. We hiked that friggin' mountain for three days in a row! By the end of it, I was sore, sick of hiking and ready to come home and rest my weary knees! I was also quite envious of "Team Phoenix" for having the opportunity to be able to hike The Summit during the winter...lucky them!
- 2010 was ushered in with Dianne, Denis, Mark, Craig, John & Jim...quiet, but very nice.

A good time was, indeed, had by me. So, now I'm back to the reality of Christmas decorations to put away, suitcases to unpack and laundry to be done. And I face this with the hunger pains and carb withdrawals associated with my "getting back on track". I'm sure it doesn't sound like I'm happy, but I actually AM glad to be back! I'm glad to regain control of my eating (day 1 with my normal routine of protein shakes and my chicken, spinach sautee) and to be working out again. Although I'd never tell him this, I actually missed The Evil One while I was gone. I know you're thinking "She's finally lost it!"....

Today I met with a friend of mine. I was telling her about my Christmas break and all the exercise I did and mentioned that I'd never dreamed I'd be hiking and here I was! She said, "well, that's the new you". That sure made me think. I initially resisted the notion of "a new me". I'm not sure why, but I think it's because I kinda liked the "old me". Then I got to thinking...and did a comparison of new vs. old me...

OLD ME - believed walking 1.5 KM to buy ice cream at Dominion was justifiable exercise
NEW ME - would KILL to eat ice cream

OLD ME - thought I would look funny doing any kind of exercise and would not do it
NEW ME - KNOWS I look funny while I exercise and really doesn't care

OLD ME - hated my boss, hated my previous company and was overall cranky
NEW ME - LOVES my boss, thinks my current company ROCKS and is The Ambassador of Positivity

OLD ME - felt wound up and ready to lash out anytime someone challenged me
NEW ME - only feels this way in traffic now

OLD ME - felt a protein shake was the drink to wash down 5 slices of pizza
NEW ME - drinks the shake INSTEAD of pizza

I've spoken about changing my mindset on what was "normal" eating for me. Today I realized I need to change my mindset on what is possible for me. For example, I did my first-ever yoga class tonight. I went into it thinking it would be very difficult for me to do and that my belly would get in the way. Well guess what?!? I DID IT!! It wasn't that difficult AND no belly interference! So, I've decided I want to think about possibilities and not limitations, especially when it comes to my physicality - exercise & whether or not I can be attractive.

I'll need your help, poppits! I'm hoping you can catch me when you hear me speaking of limitations and not possibilities. I'm not sure how to explain it, but I promise you will know those limiting words when you hear them. And call me on it! Thank you...

2010 is going to be an amazing year - I can just feel it! This is the year for success, for so many of us! My big goals for this year?

1) achieve financial prosperity and the freedom to choose my own career path (all those irons in the fire WILL pay off!!)

2) achieve my optimal weight and maintain great health forever...the right foods and the right exercise. I WILL climb The Inca Trail in May, with no problems!

3) date up a storm on the way to finding my "Mr. Right"...it's time for me to share my life, poppits, and I'm excited about finding the right person to share it with!

Now can you see why I'm excited about 2010?!?

Tell me, dear friends, what gets you excited about this year? About this decade?!? The possibilities are endless....

G'nite, poppits!
(a)yt xox