It IS possible to slap yourself around

for the record....

OK, so I fessed up in an earlier blog to not eating properly, like I was testing myself to see just how much of the wrong foods I could eat and not get away with gaining weight. Well, I'm up two pounds from my "experimentation" and the official "smack upside the head" happened last night.

OK, so 2 lbs in the scheme of things isn't alot - I hear ya. BUT what this two pounds represents is more significant. Here's what I noticed about myself....

- not only was I eating food I wasn't supposed to be eating, but I also didn't exercise to the same level I was used to doing. I didn't do ANY stairs last week, nor did I do a hike. Considering I've got a HUGE challenge in a little over a week, that is not a good thing!

- I realized I was far more anxious about my upcoming adventure to Machu Picchu then I was willing to acknowledge. I am VERY nervous about this climb...will I be able to make it? Will I hurt myself? Will my toes fall off or, even worse, will I experience altitude sickness and not be able to even go on the hike?!?

I've been feeling WAY overwhelmed and not acknowledging it. So, here's me acknowledging it....

And here's me telling myself to "suck it up, sister"! Seriously I am SO READY for this hike. And even if I'm not, what am I gonna do with a week to go?!? Yeesh!

I was talking to one of the trainers where I work. His name is Justin and he's from Ireland and has done many crazy-ass adventures. Today he said to me that fear is good as it keeps us alive. Facing our fears is energizing and positive. This from a guy who camped out in hurricane-ridden locations and in between mountains during the dead of winter. Easy for him to say as he probably has no fear! But his point is valid.

I recognize this fear in me. It's the same fear I had just before co-hosting the Child Find Donor Recognition night...and the fear I had just before I did my workshop for the first time. It's a good, nervous fear that keeps me on my toes and ready for anything to occur. When I put this fear into perspective, it helped me to realize that I needed to keep myself focused on what was important to me - eating healthy and exercising. That's when I threw out all of the tempting/yummy foods in my house and snapped out of it!

So, I'm back to two protein shakes and a sensible meal with protein every day. I look forward to the trip, that is just around the corner. No longer am I afraid - well, at 4:40 today I am not afraid. I'm looking forward to finishing the week with control over my eating and exercising like in the crazy fiendish way to which I've become accustomed, including an 18KM hike tomorrow with Marta, my tent mate.

I've realized there are two kinds of fears - the kind that debilitate you and the kind that motivate you. The ones that motivate you, like the ones I'm facing about this trip, push you beyond your comfort zone and scare the bejeebies out of you. These, in my opinion, are the ones that push us to a higher level of greatness.

So tell me, poppits, what fears motivate you? What are you doing to embrace them?!? I say strap a saddle on those fears, climb up and yell "GIDDEE UP!!!"
(a)yt xox