Asking for help

Sitting in a Starbucks waiting for my car to get work done and thinking about the concept of help. Trust me, this is not a random thought sprung on me because of an incident at the Starbucks. Here's where I'm coming from...

Last night I joined Weight Watchers. There's a new "chapter" about 3KM from where I live (right next to a Baskin Robbins, btw - no irony there!). They have opening deals, so I thought I'd sign up and get back on track. It's time.

ANYWAY...the topic for last night's discussion was "Asking for help". Marlene, the facilitator, asked the question...if we could ask for help, what would we ask for and who would we ask for it from? When we all looked at her like deers in headlights, she took a step back and asked..."why is it so difficult for us to ask for help?"

Ooooohhhh.....good question!!!

While I'm the first one there for anyone who needs help, it's VERY difficult for me to ask for help myself. And, based upon the responses from last night's group, I'm not the only one who faces this challenge. Here's what some of the responses were:

- asking for help admits to failure
- asking for help exposes a vulnerability that isn't always comfortable to admit
- asking for help surrenders independence
- asking for help makes you dependent on others

YOWZA!! Really? Does asking for help really mean all of the above? It made me think about times when I actually DID ask for help and what REALLY happened. Let's do this checklist...

- Did I feel I failed? Not really. It was more like I just didn't know what to do next and realized I couldn't do this alone anymore. Admitting I don't know everything is a good dose of reality!

- Was I vulnerable? Oh yeah! I felt a little like I was taking another leap of faith. Only this time it was jumping off the ledge into the arms of someone, trusting they would catch me. And what did the person to whom I asked for help do with that vulnerability? Nothing really...didn't acknowledge it or embrace it or anything. Just helped...without question or judgment or drama. Which, btw, was the perfect reaction for me!

- Did I surrender independence? DARN TOOTIN'!! And that was a good thing! What makes me think I'm perfect enough to take care of EVERYTHING in my life?!? While I'd like to THINK I'm Wonder Woman, I'm not ... hello?!?

- Did I become dependent on others? For this particular situation, yes. And guess what? It worked!!

Here's the deal, poppits. No one can go alone in this world. I don't think we're meant to be completely self-sufficient for everything. Everyone needs some help, even if it's for an explanation of "Venti" vs. "Grande". Oh, and think about a time when you were able to help someone who needed help...how did you feel when you knew you COULD help him/her? Pretty good, eh?

So the next time you're stuck with something, ask yourself..."Who can help me with this?" and seek out that help. You'll feel better and you'll actually give pleasure to someone else.

Taking my own advice, I'm about to ask for help in refilling my Venti Pike Place coffee!

Here's hoping your leaps of faith and asks for help will find you jumping into the arms of Ryan Reynolds...or Scarlett Johannson ... or both! Hey! I'm not here to judge!
(a)yt xoxo