Monday, January 17, 2011

It's easier said than done

Hello again! Greetings from a VERY cold and snowy Mississauga!

Are you feeling a little sad or depressed or upset today? You're not alone. It's the third Monday of January, aka "Blue Monday", the most depressing day of the year. Well, I'm kinda there with you, poppits. Today, out of the blue, I started to get weepy while having coffee with a friend and colleague. Poor guy! I'm sure I freaked him out a little. Although he was quite gracious and kind in his response, it made me wonder just what the HECK was going on!

Admittedly, I've been getting progressively bummed out and nervous about not having a contract on the horizon. It feels like I'm working my network, scanning the job search websites, sending out my resume. Yeesh, I'm even applying for full-time work, which is not where I want to be! But I've been listening to people tell me to "set goals", "develop a plan", "get focused", "work my network"...yada-yada. My work stress has shifted into a personal stress as well. I realized I've been caught up in a vicious circle...
... I don't want to spend money so I don't go out ...
... I don't go out so I don't socialize ...
... I don't socialize so I feel isolated ...
... I feel isolated so I don't reach out ... and so on ...

When I thought about this a little further, I heard the sound of a lightbulb going on above my head! I've seen this cycle before. It's the EXACT same cycle I've witnessed some of my clients going through. It's the same cycle most people experiencing a career or life transition often share.

Wow! Hey! This is a GOOD thing for me to experience, right? I'm earning the right to say "I understand" and actually mean it! I'm getting more amazing experience for my book...or my motivational speech ... or my workshop ... or my Movie of the Week. Right? RIGHT?!?

Maybe it IS good for me, but I'm here to tell you it sucks! This is not a fun position to be in and, while it's giving me great experience and humility and a much needed reality check on just how many new pairs of shoes one actually NEEDS, it really does suck! The fear, the self-loathing, the self-inflicted embarrassment...not fun! And I'm someone with a healthy level of self-confidence! Imagine what this type of transition can do to someone who has a diminished self-esteem....

hmmm.....and there it is. The realization that my situation is not that bad. That I really do have strong, solid resources available to me - most of which reside within myself. And once again I am reminded of my passion, my purpose, my raison d'etre..to help people tap into their strengths so they can reclaim their power.

OK, so suck it up, sister! It's time to end my pity party, get off my bum and follow my own advice. Three tips for surviving transition from "yt's School of Hard Knocks":

1) END THE ISOLATION - Remember your energy source!
Are you a social creature? Do you thrive on human interaction or do you prefer to re-energize by yourself? Either way is ok, as long as you remember to keep a balance. You have to have the right combination of focus and social interaction. Just remember that humankind was not meant to be isolated all the time. If you prefer to be alone, force yourself to get out and mingle - even if it's just a trip to the grocery store or to your local coffee shop. Try and have at least two, human connections a day, whether that's a phone conversation or a face-to-face encounter. If you're like me, a social animal, find a spot where there is human energy around you, but still lets you focus on the tasks you need to accomplish. Starbucks is a great place for me as it has free internet so I can focus on my work (or blogging!) and it's always busy!


2) TAP INTO YOUR CREATIVITY TO PROBLEM SOLVE - Remember not everything is a crisis!
Feeling a little sensitive about your cash flow reduction? Admittedly, a tight budget may mean fewer lunch or dinner meetings. But that doesn't mean you have to stop meeting people altogether! Taking my own advice, I've started meeting people for coffee. If my schedule is flexible, it's easier for people to "fit me in" over a coffee than lunch. Networking over coffee is preferred anyway. And, do I/you really have to stop meeting people at lunch time? No! Who says lunch has to be at a restaurant? It's still possible to have a decent conversation in the food court. And for someone trying to manage what goes into their pie-hole (like me), bringing lunch means I/you have better control over what goes into that meal. OK, so maybe it's a small example, but the point is that a solution to a problem is much easier to find when you look at ALL the resources available to you and approach it with a bit of creativity. Sometimes, the solution is merely to change your mindset.


3) FOCUS ON WHAT IS GOOD IN YOUR LIFE - Remember to celebrate the goodness of you!
Sometimes it's hard to see what is good in your life, especially when you're hit with road blocks at every turn. Believe me, there have been days when I look in the mirror and the only thing I feel I can celebrate is the fact that I remembered to take all my vitamins. During these bleak times, if you can't find something to celebrate, call upon your good friends to help you out. Just ask the question..."so, why do you keep hanging out with me?" That's when you get to see yourself through the eyes of someone who loves you. What a great perspective that is!


OK, so I'm feeling better now. Tomorrow I'm heading into the city with my head held high and looking forward to the possibilities that lie before me. Possibilities I may not be able to see, but know they are out there. LEAP AND THE NET WILL APPEAR!!

What I'm going through is part of my journey, my story. I don't realize it yet, but this experience is instrumental in defining who I am meant to be.

So tell me, poppits, how do you think the journey you are on now is shaping the person you are meant to be?
(a)yt xox

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