The power of objectivity

Hallooooooo!!!

Greetings, once again, from my boudoir where I'm typin' at 'cha on Sunday night. What a weekend it's been...rainy, windy and not quite fun. Perfect couch potato weekend, I must say. Fortunately, I resisted the temptation and did a workout on both days, since I couldn't get a hike in today. Of course, I did manage to slip in some TV watching for a bit of time..tee hee...

So, let me catch you up on my past week. Truth be told, poppits, it wasn't that fun for me. I have been feeling cranky, stressed and out of sorts for a few weeks now, but this past week was the worst. In a nutshell, I was having what boiled down to a MAJOR crisis of faith for me. Remember that "Leap of Faith" I'd taken back in January 2009? The one that had me soaring off the mountain top landing safely on the padded cushion at the bottom of the mountain? Well, I found myself back on a ledge, freaking out over alot of things....like money, like gaining 1.6 lbs., like questioning my career and life path...blah, blah, blah! Too many things freaking me out to elaborate! Suffice it to say, I was NOT at my best.

Until I had a couple of really good conversations Friday...

Conversation #1 was with my friend, Duane, who's observations were sensitive, compassionate and bang on! He has this way of looking at you and knowing things aren't right. He's done that before, but Friday was different because he wasn't letting me off the hook..which is what I needed. His gentle prodding allowed me to actually talk about my issues, which helped. Quite frankly, he opened the flood gates for ...

Conversation #2 with Elizabeth, my mentor coach and friend. And by "flood gates", I mean sobbing-nose-running-eye-puffy-boo-hooing-like-a-baby flood gates. It wasn't pretty and I'm glad our SKYPE conversation didn't have video. Elizabeth helped me to really name my concern and, through her coaching expertise and genuine concern, guided me to the realization that IT'S OK for me to have fears and stress and anger. Heck! I didn't even realize I was angry until Elizabeth made the observation...yeesh! That explains why I almost took down the poor construction guy who was holding up traffic. I mean, was it his fault I was cutting it close to get the GO Train and there were no parking spots at the station?!?

ANYWAY, when I spoke to Elizabeth, I was one big tormented ball of fear and anger. Poor thing! She got an earful! But at the end of the conversation, I was feeling closer to my old self than I'd been feeling in a while. When I hung up with Elizabeth, I had said that I'd moved closer to the edge of the mountain and had 1/2 of my left foot off the ledge.

So, what did Duane & Elizabeth do? They provided a safe space for me to vent anger and express fears. They also provided objectivity around the conversation. To be truthful, I didn't like feeling the way I was, but I recognize it's normal, and part of the journey I am on. Heck! I can't be all happy and positive ALL the time, can I?!?

So what's the learning for me here? Hmmm.....
- anyone experiencing transition in their life will go run the gamit of emotions at some point. It's natural and part of the process. Go with it, but recognize when you've been in the darkness for too long. Remember there are people who love you and want you to come outside and play with them.

- when you have caring, intuitive, supportive friends in your life, you've got it all!

- It's ok not to be happy & optimistic all the freakin' time! Clearly my food cravings and imaginative death scenes for The Evil One have proven one can not be "Sister Mary Sunshine" all the time...right?!?

- If you get mad at God, He doesn't mind.

- If you get mad at the innocent construction worker trying to protect you from the possibility of a giant crane falling on your car and crushing you, he'll flip you off.

Alrighteythen, here I go, poppits. I'm back up against the wall of the mountain. This time, however, it's only so I can get a running start to my leap off ledge.


!!!!! WAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO !!!!!!!

(a) yt xox