Post-workout pain disorder

That's what I'm suffering from today. Admittedly, it's not as bad as I've had it in the past...and different parts of my body hurt, but I'm still in pain none-the-less. Yesterday's workout with The Evil One was pretty tough. Now, here's the scary part. For me, I felt a combination of fear, pain &, are you sitting down, exhilaration. There, I said it. I think I'm getting the "high" people get whenever they work out really hard. I remember my friends, Karen & Krista, talking about it - like there was nothing better in this world than to get their assess kicked by a personal trainer. I remember thinking they had been abducted by aliens and were under some kind of mind control thing. But alas! I know now about what they spoke!!

I started with my usual 10 minutes on the bike. I was huffing, but the bike & I have had worse battles. Then I did my warm ups - the leg press (been there, done that), the pull down (again, no biggie). THEN, we went to this contraption that I'd seen other people on...I stand on it, face down. The padding hits my thighs, knees below the padding and then...nothing! I cross my arms, bend in half and raise my body up to full length. Can you get the picture? If not, allow me...

Me, boobs exposed at the front because the top is too big and stuck under my body... my torso flying through the air, arms crossed across my chest... stray curls flapping in the wind as I swing up and down... breathing like I'm in labour... and grunting (yes, GRUNTING!) like a caveman trying to woo his woman.

And I wonder why I'm still single?!? OK, so I'm swinging on this thing, and I can feel the muscles in my legs, bum & stomach just GRINDING. It always looked so much easier when the other guys do it. Heck! They carry a weight in their arms while they're swinging, but oie! By the end of my 4 sets, I couldn't walk. For one brief moment, just after my 4th set, I understood what it was like to have a tight ass. Of course, mine was from a muscle spasm...

The last, new exercise I did was an actual bench bress...with a bar. No more of those girlie weights for me! According to evil-trainer-Werner, I "blew away" the free weights...uh, let's see, I was lifting 22.5 lbs. and they go as high as 100 lbs. "Blew away", yeah.....anyway, this is another thing I've watched the guys do. Except they have weights on the bar or, sometimes, big, ass chains on the bar. But, everyone has to start somewhere, so I was lifting the bar that weighed 45 lbs. Once again, I was reminded of my lack of coordination as I lifted the bar in such an awkward way...hitting the machine a few times, tilting off to the left...or the right...into Werner's knee... whatever! I must admit, though, that I really liked the challenge it brought.

Although completely spent after the workout, I felt pretty darn good about what I'd accomplished. I even tackled the fat grips and hung like a monkey for 7 seconds. Who knows? Maybe I'll really get into this thing workout thing...wearing my gansta hat like Clance or posing-at-random with my shirt off like Werner....ummmm....probably not...you're welcome!

Well, I'm off to meet DEAR friend, Aubrey for lunch, then downtown for a workout then out for an event at the Royal Ontario Museum (ROM) with Emmanuel. Am I a lucky woman or what?!?

TGIF, baby!!!
(a) yt xox

Is it just me....

...or is everyone feeling a bit under the weather? My friend, Emmanuel (aka Motivator Man) blames it on Mercury Retrograde. I don't know if it's that or just "the blahs", but I have to tell you it's been a real challenge for me to focus on ANYTHING these past few weeks. Oh sure, I've had uplifting moments - birthday celebrations with family & friends keep me in a happy place - but it's been a real struggle for me. Whatever the reason, it's time I got back to where I was at - The Ambassador of Positivity!

OK, in order to return to my old self, I've decided this blog will be dedicated to the Happy Dance Moments I've experienced recently. Here are some of the highlights:

- Monday morning AFOOFA coffee with the gang. We missed Emmanuel and Andres, but it was good to reconnect after a week off. Sylvie & I started talking about the creative side of my brand identity (i.e. logo & colours). It started me thinking about how I want to present myself. I've decided I am ... "funky professional"...does that sound right to people?!?

- Monday afternoon I met with April Poppe, organizer extraordinaire. Although my condo is still a mess (well, worse actually as all the mess that was in the spare bedroom has now been moved to my living room), I have an action plan on how to organize the spare-bedroom-from-hell into a great living space. Yeah!!

- Tuesday afternoon workout - Hey! I did it! I schlepped that (insert expletive here) sandbag across the gym floor to the dulcet tones of the Evil One's "bum down, Yvonne". My back was glad for the reminders, although I did feel a tich uncomfortable with having my bum watched so closely. If only it were a nicer bum...

- Wednesday...not such a good day mentally, but I did manage to put the majority of my DVDs into a binder. What took up 3 shelves on a book case has now been condensed to two binders. Gotta love that! Now I just have to get rid of the plastic cases that are cluttering my home..sigh...

- This morning - a FABULOUS conversation with Motivator Man. I feel all energized and ready to go again! He, too, is helping me with my brand identity. Emmanuel and I were talking about how it wasn't "chance" that caused our meeting. We are both benefitting from knowing each other. I love it when that happens!

I've decided this whole, "working from home", is not workin' for me. I'm an extravert and need to suck the energy from others. So, I'm gonna start going into the gym every day and hanging out there. If I can help out, great. If not, I'll do my own work. It will give me a place to hang with people and keep me focused on my journey to good health.

The journey, as mentioned, has not been going so well. I have to keep reminding myself of the 22 lbs by the end of July goal and stay focused. In order to meet that goal, I've gotta step it up now. Hanging out at the gym will be a good thing for me.

Oh yeah, my cravings for sugar are back. I wonder why....hmmmm...could it be because, on my "cheat day", I snarfed a SLAB of chocolate fudge cake in 2 seconds and then ate everything-with-sugar-that-wasn't-nailed-down?!? It's all about the lessons learned....

I'm hoping all y'all are in a better space than I have been. I also hope that this funk is truly related to Mercury Retrograde since I understand that it's supposed to end on the 31st. Count down to a better head space!!

Cheers dudes & babes!
(a) yt xox

Decadence...is it really worth it?!?

That's how I'm feeling about my "cheat day"...oie! I had an AMAZING birthday weekend, starting with a free lunch with Heather & a free dinner with Joanne Friday. Followed by a great bday celebration with lots of good friends, hosted by Lorry. Then came Sunday in Niagara on the Lake (NOTL) with Lorry and a glorious cheat day! Lemme tell you what I ate...

I moved my 9 hour window ahead to a 10:30 start, simply because I couldn't wait to dig into the SLAB of chocolate fudge cake from my bday celebration. It was worth the wait, as it was quite yummy. However, I knew the day was going to be a challenge, when I ate the ENTIRE slab of cake in one sitting...in one gulp, almost! Remember I said I was gonna "exercise control"...who was I trying to kid? This was ME, after all...the person who ate Turtles ice cream even when her mouth was frozen and couldn't taste it anymore. This, then, is the person who will exercise self-control on a cheat day?!? Lemme just say....it's all good learning....

So, you know about the ton 'o' fudge cake I had for breakfast. After that, I went to Lorry who, thankfully, was the driver to NOTL. I simply couldn't focus on anything as my head and body were reacting to my sugar overload. By the time we reached NOTL, I was crashing down so we walked the main drag for a bit, then headed to The Angel Inn, our favourite stomping ground for lunch. There I had French onion soup and a small, Greek salad with chicken. I thought that was a good combination of should and shouldn't...ya know...protein & veggies (should) with cheese (shouldn't). So far, I'm ok...I'm thinkin'...then we hit all the stores again. While I resisted the fudge, I did indulge in sampling many gourmet tapinades and jellies and sauces and peanut butters (yes, gourmet peanut butters, like dark chocolate PB and chocolate banana PB and, my favourite, chocolate chunk PB). All of these samples were on itty bitty pieces of bread...more freakin' carbs! Oh, and did I mention our adventure to Pickards where Lorry picked up chocolate covered sponge taffy (I ate 2 pieces) and I hoovered as many garlic & onion flavoured peanut chipits that I could in the 5 minutes we were there?!? Getting the picture people? This is yt's version of "self control"...scary isn't it?!?

By the time I made it home, I was on carb overload and into disaster recovery mode. So, I drank LOTS of water for the rest of the evening....worked out on the treadmill (hill program, level 12, speed of 3 - my personal best to date) and did weights. Then, when I finished the workout, I ate my yogurt & berries. I did manage to stay within my 9 hour window, but sheesh! What a crazy 9 hours it was!

So, poppits...I'm all about the lessons learned. Here they are:
- when I say "I can practice self-control", I'm a liar, liar pants on fire! Oh, someday I will get there, but not in the near future
- the post-cheat day headache and lethargic behaviour simply wasn't worth the carbs overload
- I need to (and will) find the right balance so that I enjoy the freedom without killing myself in the process! Perhaps my "cheating" will come in the form of a new outfit or something material that doesn't get shoved into my mouth. I will figure this out. I am, however, open to suggestions/ideas. Anyone?!?

In the meantime, I still have 20 lbs to go to meet my next goal, so I want to hunker down and get back on it. I really do feel better when I eat properly. I just have to keep reminding myself of that!

Today I'm off to TO for a workout with the Evil One. I'm kinda looking forward to the torture, but don't tell HIM that!

Have a great day, boyz & girlz!
(a) yt xox

Human Nature...what's up with that?!?

It's been a few good days. I'm starting to feel really motivated again about my journey. However, this re-motivation comes after some despair and lack of enthusiasm...as you know! It seems I am not the only one feeling this way. I spoke about Kelly and her recent struggles in my last blog.
Enter new victim...my friend, Heather. For those of you who don't remember, Heather is the one who climbed Mt. Kilimanjaro last year and is organizing the Inca Trail for May 2010. She kicked butt in preparation for climbing Kili, losing alot of weight and working out like crazy! She was quite proud of her achievement and there were several of us who were equally proud of that.

I met Heather for lunch yesterday and, it seems she's suffering from the same downward spiral of self-loathing that Kelly and I are facing. I told her about my conversation with Kelly and how we each set one-week "refocus" goals. This seemed to work for Heather, who self-diagnosed that she needed to increase her level of activity to get her mojo back. So, here's her goal:

- Heather is committed to walking one way to work each day for one week; that is she will walk 5 days/week at least one way to work.

This is a great goal for Heather because, when she was prepping for Kili, she walked both ways. So, one way is totally doable and enough to getting her feeling she's accomplishing something. I'm sure I speak for all of us when I say.."Go Heather, Go!!!"

My conversations with Kelly & Heather got me thinking about how many of us would rather focus on the things we have still to achieve vs. what we've already accomplished. Guilty as charged, by the way. I was verbally "chastised" by Evil One at my workout Thursday as he kept pointing out how far I'd come in my strength training and how much weight I'd lost. He was clearly getting frustrated with my lack of enthusiasm. My "brick wall moment", however, came at the end of my workout. Here's what happened...

Usually I stretch my back by holding myself on bars, forcing me to carry my entire weight while hanging from said bars. I'm sure there's a more technical term for the stretch, but you'll have to visualize me with my feet up, hanging like a monkey from two bars. This contraption from which I hang, has two sets of bars - thinner bars with rubber grips and thick bars with no grips. Mostly the guys use these bars to do lift themselves, often with a belt around their waist that enables a big 'ole weight to dangle between their legs while doing their chin ups or pull ups or whatever. I'm sure there's something Freudian about that...but I digress. Me? I use the bars to just hang out and stretch - nothing between my legs, for the record. Now, I'd done the stretch before using the thinner, rubber bars, but have never been able to do it on the thicker bars. It's challenging because I can barely get my hands around the thick bars, and without the rubber they're very slippery, especially if your palms are sweaty...and mine are AWAYS sweaty! Also, truth be told, I'm scared shitless of falling onto Werner in an embarass-myself-by-flattening-him-to-the-ground-squishing-the-breath-out-of-him way, instead of a falling into-his-open-arms-where-he-giggless-and-gently-places-me-on-the-ground way. So, although I'm not carrying a dangling weight between my legs, I AM carrying alot of emotional baggage as I approach the adventure of hanging from the thick bars. Can you see why success has eluded me so far?!?

Well, Thursday, after listen to Evil One remind me of how far I'd come, I decided to check my emotional baggage at the door and just hang myself from the thick bars...just friggin' do it, know what I mean?!? I did have a moment of temptation when Werner said "Have you tried the thick bars yet?"...do I take advantage of this momentary lapse in his memory or try out my newfound courage?!? Well, I went for it and dang it if I didn't hang from those thick bars...TWICE! The "brick wall moment" came when I realized the only thing preventing me from doing this, besides my overactive, melodramatic imagination, was my own fears. I know, it's kind of basic, but at the end of the day, isn't that really the barriers to any of our successes?!?

BTW, I did not fall on Werner squishing the breath out of him. On the contrary, I shocked the hell out of him when I, without hesitation, grabbed those big ass bars and dangled! My reward? I got a "Very good, Yvonne! I'm so proud of you" from The Evil One... icing on the cake, baby!

Well, it's time for me to sign off. This is my birthday weekend, so I will be spending tonight in the company of good friends celebrating the glorious weather...and me!

Speaking of "celebrations", shout out to Joanne who has hit the 50 lbs mark...right on! She was simply GLOWING with pride when she was telling me of her success. Now THAT'S what I'm talkin' about!

Cheers, poppits!
(a)yt xox

I'm lifing with the big guns again!

Yup. The work out with Evil One today was back to leg presses and bench presses and pull downs with the really-weird-hard-to-grip-handle-thingy...we'll see how it goes! Tomorrow will be the tell tale impact on back and/or knees. So far, so good, though, so I think that's promising! To be truthful, I am glad to be back doing something other than that friggin' sled or sand bag! It gets to be pretty boring...hard, but boring!

So, I'm sure you're all DYING to know how my cheat meal went. Remember, I had a strategy to maximize the caloric value and taste of this meal?!? Remember, I wasn't going to waste valuable stomach space with things like protein and bread?!? Remember how excited I was about this meal?!?

IT DIDN'T HAPPEN!!

Evil One canceled on me...30 minutes before we were supposed to eat! He sent me this email that said "don't kill me"...who was he trying to kid?!? I went to bed hungry Tuesday night, so you can imagine my hunger level by 1:00 in the afternoon the next day! Quite frankly, even if I wanted to kill Werner-the-evil-BASTARD-trainer, I could not have mustered the strength to do it. Needless to say I was disappointed...I was all about the appetizers & desserts. However, you will be happy to note that I did celebrate by sharing a truly decadent piece of chocolate cake. I was so wired with the sugar that I was talking really-really-really-REALLY-fast after dinner, barely able to catch my breath! It was quite insightful. BTW, shout out to Janet for taking one for me! While I wanted my own extremely decadent dessert, she's the one who showed reason by suggesting we share. I said "oh...uh...sure, we can share". Clearly my disappointment was not lost on Janet because she quickly replied with "unless you want your own dessert"....I really did, but then was snapped back into reality. Honestly, did I really NEED a full dessert?!?

So now I have to look forward to my cheat "day" this Sunday, my birthday! I'm going to have a piece of birthday cake and a chai tea latte (or two!) and some goat cheese yogurt with berries, almonds & maybe a little granola thrown into it. I think that's all I will eat for the entire day...just a big ass tub of yogurt, a wackload of berries and granola. I'm going to try and avoid protein and veggies if I can help it. I feel no pressure as I know that, if I miss something Sunday, I will get to eat it in another 14 days. Ah, the empowerment of it all....:)

Today was a FAB-U-LUSS day in Toronto. Everyone was out, including the tourists and nutbars! I sat on the patio of a Starbucks and in a 5 minute span, had 2 "homeless" people ask me for change and one woman stare at me while waving her hands around her head (like she was shooing flies away), screaming loudly at the woman who accidently brushed her when she walked by. Beautiful! Coffee and a show all at once - you just don't get that action in a small town!

I was talking to my friend, Kelly, tonight. You will recall that I reunited with Kelly & Mary in Collingwood in the winter. Kelly has lost over 70 lbs. She's in a bit of a rut, one step ahead of going down that emotional eating vortex of doom. It was good for us to chat as we both realized we have alot in common. So, Kelly is 27 lbs. shy of her "dream goal" and 2 lbs. shy of crossing a HUGE milestone. It's time for her to see more success. Soooooo, we each set a goal for ourselves:

- Kelly will have one week without eating "crap"
- I will maintain some semblance of control and reasonability on my "cheat day"; I would also like to throw in my added bonus of sticking to the modified Caveman Diet and my 9-hour eating window (remember how that was a problem for me?!?)

We will update each other in a week's time. GO, KELLY, GO!!! Feel free to show Kelly your support by commenting on the blog. Anybody else wanna set some short-term goals with us?!? Come on...I double dare ya!!!

It's close to 11:00 and I'm pretty bagged. I think it was the increased exercise...or maybe it's taken me this long to come off of the sugar high from last night's cake!!

Have a good night, dudes & babes! May your personal journey be filled with good surprises and lotsa fun!
(a)yt xox

Nothin' but blue...

I'm staring outside my window, checking out the sky and seeing not a cloud out there...ahhh...

You're probably shocked that I'm typing AGAIN! You're probably wondering what glorious, wondrous thing happened to warrant a second entry within two days. OK, so I saw Angels & Demons again, hence the melodramatic language of "glorious" & "wondrous". Well, wait no more as I will end your curiosity now....

So, last night, Deborah and I went out for dinner after the show (ordered a Cobb Salad, no cheese, extra turkey, dressing on the side..nothin' but net!). As always, the conversation was very good. We started talking about our obsession about talking about food. I sure am guilty of this, especially with my focus on good eating. I think it's fairly "normal" to think about your next meal, but is it normal to think of nothing else?!? I find, when I get around people who think like that, I become obsessed with the very thing that is my weakness. Seriously, I just wanna be able to NOT think about food! Not have it rule my life. Not have it cause me feelings of guilt..or ecstasy...or any kind of angst at all! My goal is to not think about food. I know there are people who actually live like this. I have many friends who don't actually get excited about grilled vegetables or plan road trips based upon restaurant locations...like me! They actually talk about, I don't know, sports...their job...movies... and not which theatre has the best popcorn.

Then the topic moved from my obsession to talking about food to my obsession about my "free" days or "free" meal that is coming up this week. OK, so I'm sorta contradicting what I said in the above paragraph, but hear me out! I had a revelation last night. I don't actually HAVE to go crazy when I have my free meal Wednesday, because I get to have a free day on Sunday. And I don't have to go crazy on Sunday because, in two weeks, I'll have another free day...and so on! I let my seldom-used logical side of the brain have free reign for a bit last night and got to thinking about the "consequences" of a free day or free meal and do I want to really go crazy? (All the while I had to keep shutting down my emotional side that kept interjecting with thoughts of "yes, let them eat cake"; "you can have a whole day of nothing but peanut butter!"; "buy bulk and save money"; "I wonder how peanut butter cake would taste and can you buy it in bulk?!?").

So, I started thinking about what would really give me pleasure at my free meals or on my free days and it really is the fact that, if I want it, I can have it. It's quite liberating! And now I know that, if I don't have it Sunday (the 24th, my birthday!), I can always have it in two weeks. Really, it's best to pace myself...

I know I haven't solved world peace or even peace within my disastrous apartment (oie!), but I feel pretty darn good about those revelations. Patience, even with food, is all good....

Have a FAB-U-LUSS day, people! Shout out to returning travelers Tony & Carol, back from a wonderful trip to France!
(a) yt xox

I have had ENOUGH!!!

Yes, that's about where I'm at right now. "What, dearest most beautiful yt is causing your frustration?", you ask...gosh! I'm blushing...But seriously...

It has nothing to do with my journey to good health this time. The 5 lb. weight loss was a fraud brought on my 3 days of the flu (if ya know what I mean). I am, however, down 2 lbs. from 2 weeks ago, so I consider that a very good thing...20 lbs away from my end of July goal and 44 lbs in total. I'm ok with this, truthfully, as I only exercised (hard core at LPS) once last week with my back, my remnants of the flu (if ya know what I mean), my general funk...blah, blah, blah....

ANYWAY, I have no complaints about my journey to good health, although I could use a really big ass ice cream cone.....no, my latest frustration is related to my "journey to good organization"...a journey that is far more painful and challenging than my one to good health, truth be told. So, here I sit typing in my blog to avoid looking at my apartment! Let me tell you how my journey began...

Yesterday I went out and bought a few things to better organize myself...a file box so I don't have all my files laying on the spare bed; hanging file folders in which to place the files; a letter sorter so I can reclaim my counter for cooking and not mail storage; and a "industrial strength" rolling garment rack. It's schwanky...2-tiered, big-ass wheels that actually roll, solid, sturdy poles to support the clothes that will be rolled into the coat closet (it's huge!) making way for spiffy storage solutions in my spare bedroom closet. See, I've got plans for organizing myself and today I was MOTIVATED BABY!! Until I encountered a hitch...I cant' seem to put the (insert five expletives here) garment rack together....argh....Those of you who know me, know I simply can NOT put these things together, even if there is a really good diagram to show me how...although, how many of you have encountered a clear diagram that actually is actually legible? See? I rest my case...

So, here I sit, my apartment in shambles, disassembled garment rack taking over my couch...winter/fall clothes taking over my bedroom hooks...stuff from the coat closet taking over the rest of the living area having been cleaned out to make room for the garment rack...that sits unassembled on my couch. Get the picture?!?

!!!!!!!!!!!!! CALGON, TAKE ME AWAY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If anyone has any talent in this area and is willing to walk through the battlefield that is my apartment to come help me, I'd be MOST grateful!! As a matter of fact, that will earn you the title of "Hero of the Day"...a most auspicious honour...Please I'm begging here....

OK, enough whining...it's a gorgeous day outside and there are 4 of the cutest dogs running around the park across the street. I simply MUST watch them now.

I can't tell you how much I'm looking forward to a normal week of workout, healthy eating and chillaxin'! I can do so much to ignore the disaster around me...like never coming home...

Shout out to birthday celebrants this week - awesome cousin, Kelly & awesome friend, Thom.

Thanx for letting me vent, poppits!
(a) yt xox